# Episode 949: "Stern Fires Blanks With a Gun-less John Wick"

**Source:** Kaneda's Pinball Podcast (Patreon feed)  
**Type:** podcast_episode  
**Published:** 2024-05-07  
**Duration:** 8m 18s  
**Beat:** Pinball

**URL:** https://www.patreon.com/posts/episode-949-with-103813723

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## Analysis

Kaneda delivers a scathing critique of Stern's John Wick pinball machine, focusing on the absence of gun imagery despite the film's gun-centric narrative, inadequate mechanical features (bash toy as main highlight), poor lighting design compared to competitors like Elton John, and overpricing at $13,000 LE. He predicts the game will depreciate rapidly to ~$9,000 and signals broader concerns about Stern's direction under Seth Davis, including removal of FOMO, reliance on software/badges instead of mechanical innovation, and a shift toward less enthusiastic community reception.

### Key Claims

- [HIGH] John Wick pinball has no guns in the artwork or in the chest mechanism, despite guns being central to the film. — _Kaneda's opening complaint and repeated throughout the episode, describing seeing gameplay videos and the empty chest._
- [HIGH] The main mechanical feature of John Wick is a bash toy that swings out and opens a ball pathway, which is insufficient compared to other games like Lord of the Rings. — _Kaneda's direct analysis of the game's features based on viewing videos._
- [HIGH] Stern's lighting system in John Wick appears poor and dated compared to modern games like Elton John and does not capture the neo-noir cityscape aesthetic. — _Kaneda's comparative critique of Stern's 2024 lighting capabilities versus competitors._
- [MEDIUM] John Wick LE will depreciate from $13,000 to ~$9,000 by end of 2024, representing a $4,000 loss for early buyers. — _Kaneda's market prediction based on perceived lack of demand and Stern's overproduction of LE inventory._
- [MEDIUM] Seth Davis's leadership has removed FOMO from Stern releases and shifted the company toward software/internet-connected badges rather than mechanical innovation. — _Kaneda's opinion on Stern's strategic direction and pricing model changes._
- [HIGH] Pulp Fiction pinball features guns prominently in artwork and gameplay (Samuel L. Jackson sculpture with gun, large gun on playfield), unlike John Wick. — _Kaneda's direct comparison of two licensed Stern games based on films with gun violence._

### Notable Quotes

> "Stern Pinball made a John Wick game with no guns in it. There are no guns on the artwork. When you open up that chest underneath John Wick's floor, there's no guns in it."
> — **Kaneda**, 0:00-0:30
> _Central thesis of the episode; the core complaint about thematic inconsistency._

> "When the main feature of a Stern pinball machine that they want you to buy for $13,000, when the main feature is a bash toy that swings out, that opens up a ball pathway, that's the main mechanism in this game."
> — **Kaneda**, 1:00-1:30
> _Criticizes mechanical design depth and justification for premium pricing._

> "How can Stern Pinball in 2024 walk up to an Elton John machine and see what's possible from a modern lighting standpoint in pinball and then try to sell us this like bag of tic-tac lights for like $13,000?"
> — **Kaneda**, 2:00-2:30
> _Highlights technological gap between Stern and other manufacturers; competitive positioning issue._

> "You almost have to be a moron to buy a John Wick LE new in box for $13,000. By the end of this year, new in box, John Wick LEs will be selling for $9,000."
> — **Kaneda**, 5:30-6:00
> _Direct market prediction and consumer advice; inflammatory but specific._

> "When you think about the direction that Seth Davis has taken this company, he's removed all of our enthusiasm. He's removed all of the FOMO. It used to be so much fun to get that giddy FOMO on the eve of a pinball launch. And now if you're on an LE list, it feels like you're on a detention list."
> — **Kaneda**, 6:30-7:30
> _Systemic critique of Stern's leadership and business strategy; emotional impact on community._

> "They want to take this highly physical kinetic game, take out most of the mechanical magic, the physical kinetic magic, and they want to replace it with artwork and software and internet connected badges as a way to justify these prices."
> — **Kaneda**, 8:30-9:00
> _Identifies perceived strategic shift away from mechanical innovation toward digital value justification._

> "This feels like it's going to be Venom all over again. Some people are going to buy it and say it's amazing and so much fun. But the truth is this, if you buy this game, you're going to lose a fortune because the demand is never going to be there for it."
> — **Kaneda**, 9:30-10:00
> _References another poorly-performing recent Stern release; precedent for poor secondary market performance._

> "A John Wick game with no guns in the artwork shows me that Stern is the new Disney. They went woke. And when you go woke on something like John Wick, you're gonna go broke, Stern."
> — **Kaneda**, 10:30-11:00
> _Provocative framing of perceived censorship/content sanitization; positions licensing restrictions as business liability._

### Entities

| Name | Type | Context |
|------|------|---------|
| John Wick | game | Stern Pinball machine released May 2024, themed on John Wick film franchise, criticized for lack of gun imagery and mediocre mechanical features. |
| Stern Pinball | company | Pinball manufacturer under scrutiny for pricing strategy ($13,000 LE), design choices (gun-less John Wick), and lighting technology gaps versus competitors. |
| Kaneda | person | Host of Canadian Pinball Podcast; industry commentator and critic delivering this episode's analysis; known for candid, opinionated takes on game design and market dynamics. |
| Elliot Eisman | person | Designer of John Wick pinball at Stern; Kaneda notes he is a new designer and suggests his work lacks the mechanical innovation expected. |
| Randy Martinez | person | Artist credited with artwork on John Wick; Kaneda praises the artwork quality but notes it cannot compensate for mechanical and design shortcomings. |
| Seth Davis | person | Leadership figure at Stern Pinball; Kaneda attributes the company's strategic direction (pricing, FOMO removal, software-focus) to his decisions. |
| Elton John | game | Pinball machine by a competitor (not Stern) cited as example of superior modern lighting design and mechanical innovation; used as benchmark for what Stern should be achieving. |
| Lord of the Rings | game | Past Stern pinball machine referenced as example of a game with more impressive and dramatic mechanical toys (Balrog) than John Wick's bash toy. |
| Pulp Fiction | game | Stern pinball machine by Mark Ritchie (implied in KB) that features prominent gun imagery (Samuel L. Jackson sculpture, large gun playfield element), used as direct comparison to John Wick's gun-less design. |
| Venom | game | Recent Stern pinball release that Kaneda predicts will parallel John Wick in poor secondary market performance and low community demand. |
| Insider Connected | product | Stern's internet-connected platform for badges and achievements; Kaneda argues Stern is relying on this to justify premium pricing instead of mechanical innovation. |

### Topics

- **Primary:** John Wick gun imagery absence / thematic inconsistency, Mechanical design depth and innovation in modern Stern games, Pricing strategy and perceived overvaluation of LE editions, Stern's lighting technology compared to competitors, Secondary market depreciation predictions and collector FOMO
- **Secondary:** Seth Davis's leadership direction and strategic decisions, Shift from mechanical innovation to software/digital badges as value justification, Comparison with competing manufacturers (Elton John example)

### Sentiment

**Negative** (-0.85) — Kaneda is highly critical and dismissive of John Wick, though he explicitly states he doesn't hate the game itself. His tone is frustrated and resigned rather than angry. He views the game as symptomatic of larger systemic problems at Stern (pricing, strategy, removal of mechanical innovation). The negativity extends to Stern's direction broadly, not just this title.

### Signals

- **[product_concern]** John Wick pinball lacks gun imagery in artwork and playfield despite guns being central to the film's identity and action sequences. The empty chest mechanism contradicts the iconic scene from the movie. (confidence: high) — Kaneda's repeated emphasis on the absence of guns and direct comparison to Pulp Fiction, which prominently features guns.
- **[product_concern]** Primary mechanical feature (bash toy opening a ball pathway) is perceived as underwhelming for a $13,000 machine, lacking the engineering drama and wow-factor of past Stern designs. (confidence: high) — Direct analysis of gameplay videos; comparison to Lord of the Rings Balrog toy; statement about underutilized playfield when lifted.
- **[product_concern]** John Wick's lighting system appears dated and fails to capture modern neo-noir NYC aesthetic. Stern's 2024 lighting capabilities lag behind competitors (Elton John cited as benchmark). (confidence: high) — Kaneda's direct visual critique comparing Stern's 'tic-tac lights' to modern lighting standards; competitive positioning issue.
- **[market_signal]** Kaneda predicts John Wick LE will depreciate from $13,000 to ~$9,000 by end of 2024, driven by lack of demand and Stern's apparent willingness to produce full allocation regardless of sales velocity. (confidence: medium) — Explicit market prediction with specific price targets; comparison to other poorly-performing recent releases (Venom); broader pattern of LE inventory gluts.
- **[business_signal]** Stern's $13,000 LE pricing is perceived as disconnected from mechanical/design innovation justification. Kaneda argues the company is overpricing games and destroying its business model. (confidence: high) — Repeated pricing criticism; rhetorical framing of $13K as unjustifiable for non-essential toy; comparison of value propositions across recent releases.
- **[sentiment_shift]** Kaneda reports a significant shift in community sentiment around Stern LE releases from excitement (FOMO) to dread/punishment. Buying an LE is now framed as a financial risk rather than a reward or collectible opportunity. (confidence: high) — Direct statement about removal of FOMO under Seth Davis; characterization of LE list as 'detention list'; comparison of past vs. current emotional response to launches.
- **[industry_signal]** Stern appears to be shifting away from mechanical innovation and toward software/digital features (Insider Connected badges) as justification for premium pricing, relying on persistent revenue rather than physical engineering. (confidence: medium) — Kaneda's critique of Stern replacing 'mechanical magic' with 'artwork, software, and internet-connected badges'; characterization of these features as low-cost for manufacturer but presented as value-add.
- **[design_philosophy]** John Wick's lack of gun imagery is framed by Kaneda as a licensing/content sensitivity issue (woke Disney-ification) that fundamentally undermines the game's thematic authenticity and player expectations. (confidence: medium) — Kaneda's inference based on visual evidence (no guns in artwork, empty chest) and comparison to Pulp Fiction; KB context confirms licensing restrictions on gun imagery were a known constraint.
- **[competitive_signal]** Stern's John Wick highlights a visible technology/design gap versus competing manufacturers. Elton John (competitor) is cited as exemplar of modern pinball lighting and innovation that Stern cannot match. (confidence: medium) — Direct comparison of Stern lighting to Elton John; broader framing of Stern as falling behind in modern design innovation.
- **[rumor_hype]** Kaneda predicts John Wick will experience poor community reception and weak secondary market demand, comparable to Venom. He anticipates some vocal defenders but broader consensus that it's a poor investment. (confidence: medium) — Explicit comparison to Venom; statement about some buying and claiming 'amazing' despite underlying truth; prediction of fortune loss for buyers.
- **[product_strategy]** Kaneda observes that Stern is aware LE sales are declining (no longer moving 1,000 units) and is attempting to push buyers toward LE variants by making Premium art packages less attractive. (confidence: medium) — Observation about Premium art packages being intentionally 'sandbagged' on Jaws and John Wick to nudge buyers toward LE; inference that LE market saturation is prompting strategy change.
- **[content_signal]** Kaneda leverages his Patreon podcast platform to deliver a high-confidence critical market take on a major Stern release, positioning himself as consumer advocate warning against poor investments. (confidence: high) — Episode framing and directness of consumer advice; explicit addressing of listeners as 'members of the Canada Club'; tone of insider industry analysis.

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## Transcript

 Wake up! Time to die! Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Canadian Pinball Podcast. I'm just here to tell you this right now. I'm just watching the John Wick videos. I'm seeing the gameplay. I'm seeing the features. I'm seeing the artwork. And here's my thing. I can't get over one simple thing. Stern Pinball made a John Wick game. with no guns in it. There are no guns on the artwork. When you open up that chest underneath John Wick's floor, there's no guns in it. I remember the movie. I remember when he uses that sledgehammer and he opens up that chest. One side are the gold coins and the other side are his guns. How can you make a John Wick pinball machine with no guns in it? What is this, like the woke Disney version of John Wick? Thank you. No, thank you, Stern Pinball. Hard stop there. Look, let's get serious though. Like this game looks fine. You know, there's not a lot to hate about this game, but there's also not a ton to love in this game. When the main feature of a Stern pinball machine that they want you to buy for $13,000, when the main feature is a bash toy that swings out, that opens up a ball pathway, that's the main mechanism in this game. Think about a game like Lord of the Rings, right? Would they start as the Balrog being the main highlight of that game? Even that toy has way more drama and excitement in it. But no, you get the bash toy, you get the upper play field, you get the ring that magnetically freezes the ball in midair. That's my thing about this game. It's like, it's fine. There's just nothing about it that screams take my money now. There's nothing about it that screams we had to stay up late at night to figure out how to engineer this into the game And I sorry ladies and gentlemen but the Stern lighting system is looking so poor right now Like these games just don look modern They don bring that like Neo Tokyo New York City Skyline, World of John Wick to life. I'm sorry, but how can Stern Pinball in 2024 walk up to an Elton John machine and see what's possible from a modern lighting standpoint in pinball and then try to sell us this like bag of like tic-tac lights for like $13,000. It's just not there. And I know what you're saying. You're like, Kaneda, take a deep breath. And believe me, I'm not offended by this game. I was never going to buy this game. I didn't want to hate this game. I don't even hate this game. I love John Wick as a movie, but you can't make a stern pinball machine based on John Wick and have no guns in the artwork. Look at Pulp Fiction. Did they remove the guns from that pinball machine? John Wick fires more guns in like 10 minutes than the entire three hours of Pulp Fiction the movie. And when you look at Pulp Fiction pinball, you've got the big gun smack dab in the middle of the playfield. You got Samuel L. Jackson pointing a gun at you as a sculpt in the game. And then you look at John Wick and it's like Stern wants him to just use nunchucks and pencils and other things like samurai swords, but where are the guns? I think this game is going to have a very mediocre response, and it's just proving my fear that none of these Stern games can be designed to be worth what they want us to pay for these games. When you lift the playfield on John Wick, trust me, ladies and gentlemen, when you lift the playfield on this game, it's going to be empty underneath. Like, empty. I mean, think about it. Like, where is the engineering? I know this is like a new designer in Elliot Elliot Eismin, but like I was expecting more WoW toys in this game. And they're just not there. They're all right. The artwork by Randy Martinez is nice I think the artwork looks good I like the Ellie art package on the game I think for some reason the premium art packages both on Jaws and this Stern is really sandbagging the premiums I think they know that they're not moving a thousand LEs anymore. They're really trying to push people towards these LEs because the premiums just don't look good. And when I'm looking at this game and I'm thinking about the features of the Pro, I just feel like the Pro might be the way to go on John Wick. But deep down, ladies and gentlemen, deep down in your pinball souls, you know you're not going to buy this game. You almost have to be a moron. And I mean this, and I don't want to insult any of you, but you almost have to be a moron to buy a John Wick LE new in box for $13,000. Stern is going to make every one of these games. By the end of this year, It's not even going to take 12 months. By the end of this year, trust me, new in box, John Wick LEs will be selling for $9,000. So you could save $4,000 if you wait, or you could be a moron and buy it today because money is no object to you. I'm trying to look out for each and every one of you. This just isn't going to work. Stern's just not going to be able to do this. They don't have enough Elwynn bangers in the portfolio coming out. They just don't. And I really feel bad for all the designers and all the Stern fans, because when you think about the direction that Seth Davis has taken this company, he's removed all of our enthusiasm. He's removed all of the FOMO. It used to be so much fun to get that giddy FOMO on the eve of a pinball launch. And now if you're on an LE list, it feels like you're on a detention list. It feels like you're being punished. Like if you had to buy an LE for $13,000, that feels like punishment. It doesn't feel like a reward. And until Stern fixes this, every single game they come out with now is going to be looked at like this. And I think they're destroying this hobby. I think they destroying their very own business model And it just not going to work It just not going to work There no way these games even fit the bill for this much money and they overpriced and they making games like Elton John look even more attractive because at least games like that feel like modern pinball experiences where there's more innovation. And you know what Stern wants? They want to push us into this world where like insider connected and achievements are where we're going to get the value. You know why they want to push us there because that's cheap for them to do, to make these silly badges on Insider Connected. It doesn't cost them much. Those things never break. And so they want to take this highly physical kinetic game, take out most of the mechanical magic, the physical kinetic magic, and they want to replace it with artwork and software and internet connected badges as a way to justify these prices. It's not going to work, ladies and gentlemen. I saw this game. I didn't have high hopes. It's not pissing me off. It's just such an easy pass. It's like, okay, this feels like it's going to be Venom all over again. Some people are going to buy it and say it's amazing and so much fun. But the truth is this, if you buy this game, you're going to lose a fortune because the demand is never going to be there for it. I'm going to go have lunch. It's sunny outside. Everybody, thank you for being a member of the Canada Club. Obviously, we will be talking more about this game this week, but that's my initial impressions of John Wick. Nothing majorly magical in it. And a John Wick game with no guns in the artwork shows me that Stern is the new Disney. They went woke. And when you go woke on something like John Wick, you're gonna go broke, Stern. We're not buying this. We're grown men. Stop treating us like kids, especially if you want us to spend $13,000 on a non-essential toy. Kaneda out. Peace. He did it again It's gonna bring you down It's making me revolt

_(Acquisition: groq_whisper, Enrichment: v3)_

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*Exported from Journalist Tool on 2026-04-13 | Item ID: 5bb427ea-d8ce-47dc-8021-82ec78bc429b*
