# Episode 81 - Die on this Hill: South Park

**Source:** Wedgehead Pinball Podcast  
**Type:** podcast_episode  
**Published:** 2025-05-05  
**Duration:** 43m 39s  
**Beat:** Pinball

**URL:** Buzzsprout-17057403

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## Analysis

The Wedgehead Pinball Podcast's "Die on This Hill" series defends the 1999 Sega South Park pinball machine, widely ranked near the bottom of PinSide's all-time list. Guest Marcus argues the game is a location and casual-player powerhouse despite poor tournament reception, driven by strong theme integration and audio. The hosts and guest respond to negative PinSide reviews, debating playfield design, rules depth, difficulty balance, and the tension between casual accessibility and competitive pinball values.

### Key Claims

- [HIGH] South Park is the best-earning DMD pinball machine in Marcus's location portfolio, at least doubling the earnings of Whitewater. — _Marcus (guest operator), early in episode: 'By far my best earning DMD... sits right next to a decent Whitewater with a topper, and it at least doubles it every week. At least.'_
- [MEDIUM] South Park sold 2,200 units compared to Pinball 2000 games selling 9,000 units, but South Park was played more and earned more quarters. — _Marcus: 'Those two games sold 9,000 compared to South Park's paltry 2,200... There's way more quarters that have gone into South Park than those two games combined. Guaranteed.'_
- [HIGH] South Park performs well in locations with casual/non-serious pinball players but poorly among experienced/tournament pinball players. — _Waterboy: 'I think the difference is... how casual or how pinball-oriented is your local player base... South Park does well in a place where people are new to pinball, you know, and they recognize the theme.'_
- [HIGH] The game has five main shots that must be hit four times each (without carrying progress to the next ball) to qualify characters, requiring skill and work. — _Marcus: 'You got five different main shots, right? You got to hit a shot four times with the same ball, by the way, to qualify the character. Like, you don't get to carry over your progress to your next ball.'_
- [HIGH] Marcus has not completed the wizard mode on his own legally despite frequent play. — _Marcus: 'And honestly, I have not even done it on my own legally yet.'_
- [HIGH] South Park was the final game Sega pinball produced before being bought and repackaged as Stern. — _Alan (host): 'this week's game is the final game that Sega pinball produced before they were bought and repackaged as Stern.'_
- [MEDIUM] The game has 13 total stand-ups: 10 for character call-outs and 3 for multiball. — _Marcus: 'There's a total of 13 stand-ups... The other 10 stand-ups are all characters from the show. When you hit one of those stand-ups, you get a call-out from one of the characters in the show.'_
- [HIGH] Serious pinball players avoid or dislike South Park, viewing it as a 'guilty pleasure' if they admit to liking it. — _Waterboy: 'everybody knows you're not supposed to like it when you're like good at pinball. But like, there were people that were like, "I still kind of like it." ... It's very much like a guilty pleasure game for anybody.'_
- [HIGH] The 1999 South Park game is based on the first season of South Park, which features lowbrow toilet humor rather than the later show's sharp satire. — _Alan: 'came out in '99. It was based on the first season of South Park. The first season of South Park, if you're a fan of South Park, is not the best version of the show... Nothing but foul language and toilet humor. The show then morphed into... cutting like satire... That's not in this game.'_
- [HIGH] The Kenny scoop and Cartman hole are comically oversized (4-5 pinballs wide), making them easy to hit but thematically appropriate to the show's comedy style. — _Alan: 'Kenny scoop and... Cartman hole on the right are just massive. They're like comically oversized holes... Marcus: 'It's theme. It's a comic. It's supposed to be that.' Alan: 'It's certainly different.' Marcus: 'That's comedy. Comedy makes you laugh.'_

### Notable Quotes

> "By far my best earning DMD. Themes get plays. This is true. Everybody knows that it's true."
> — **Marcus (guest operator)**, ~8:30
> _Core argument for the episode: South Park's theme-driven appeal translates to superior real-world earnings despite poor critical ranking._

> "People just want to hear the characters talk. They see them. They know they want to hear them talk."
> — **Marcus**, ~13:00
> _Identifies why casual players value South Park: immersive audio/theme experience over mechanical depth._

> "Everybody knows you're not supposed to like it when you're like good at pinball. But like, there were people that were like, 'I still kind of like it.'"
> — **Waterboy (co-host)**, ~20:00
> _Captures the social stigma around liking South Park in competitive pinball circles—a guilty pleasure dynamic._

> "I think this game is what killed Pinball 2000. And by the way, everybody, you're welcome. Because those two games are terrible."
> — **Marcus**, ~15:00
> _Provocative claim that South Park's success (despite poor design reputation) ended the Pinball 2000 platform._

> "The right flipper goes through the pops on the left. You have to have the right flipper to hit the Stan shot, and it's the toughest shot on the table. By far the toughest shot on the table."
> — **Marcus**, ~50:00
> _Responds to criticism of oversized holes by highlighting hidden difficulty and playfield design nuance._

> "It's comically oversized. Hello? It's theme. It's a comic. It's supposed to be that. Like, it's certainly different. We're laughing right now. That's comedy."
> — **Marcus**, ~42:00
> _Defends controversial playfield design as intentional thematic choice aligned with show's comedic tone._

> "South Park is a game where the theme is king."
> — **Caucasian Two-Step (PinSide reviewer)**, ~53:00
> _Summarizes the fundamental split in game perception: theme drives casual/location play; mechanical design disappoints serious players._

> "Quit taking life so serious. Just enjoy."
> — **Marcus (responding to Quickie Mart review)**, ~48:00
> _Encapsulates the episode's philosophy: South Park prioritizes joy/entertainment over mechanical rigor._

> "I used to be a South Park pin snob. I have to just start there. I used to think, 'Oh, what a dumb game.'"
> — **Marcus**, ~6:00
> _Establishes Marcus's credibility: he converted from skeptic to defender through operator experience, not blind fandom._

> "If you don't like the show, you know, you're not gonna like the game."
> — **Marcus (discussing Matt CyberScott review)**, ~59:00
> _Acknowledges the game's fundamental dependency on South Park fandom—a weakness that can't be overcome by gameplay alone._

### Entities

| Name | Type | Context |
|------|------|---------|
| Wedgehead Pinball Podcast | organization | Portland, Oregon-based pinball podcast; hosts "Die on This Hill" series defending low-ranked games |
| Alan | person | Host and co-owner of Wedgehead Pinball Podcast |
| Alex | person | Co-host of Wedgehead Pinball Podcast, goes by 'Alex the Waterboy' and 'El Chico de Agua' |
| Marcus | person | Guest operator from Northern California who started a pinball route/scene; defender of South Park in this episode |
| South Park (1999 Sega) | product | Pinball machine released 1999 by Sega, based on first season of South Park cartoon; ranks #251 on PinSide all-time list |
| Joe Balser | person | One of the Twin Joes designers of South Park pinball (also called Big Joes or Big Jay) |
| Cam | person | Designer (Cam and Cow team) on South Park pinball mechanical design |
| Neil Falconer | person | Software programmer on South Park pinball |
| Oran Day | person | Software programmer on South Park pinball |
| Lonnie Rob Hurtado | person | Mechanics designer on South Park pinball |
| Kyle Johnson | person | Sound designer on South Park pinball |
| PinSide | organization | Pinball database and community site with all-time game rankings; South Park ranks #251 |
| Sega Pinball | company | Manufacturer that produced South Park before being bought and repackaged as Stern |
| Stern Pinball | company | Acquired Sega Pinball operations; continues as dominant manufacturer |
| Whitewater | product | Pinball machine Marcus uses as earnings comparison baseline; South Park earns at least 2x its revenue |
| Pinball 2000 | product | Sega platform featuring two games; sold 9,000 units but earned fewer quarters than South Park's 2,200 units |
| The Simpsons Pinball Party | product | Referenced as evolved design from South Park era; used as comparison point for rule depth |
| Austin Powers | product | Sega pinball game; reused Mr. Hankey (poop) animation; mentioned as worse than South Park by reviewers |
| Star Wars Episode I | product | Pinball machine mentioned by Pinballer1 reviewer as another regretted purchase |
| Next Level | venue | Pinball venue where Alan recently re-played South Park before this episode |
| Family Guy | product | Pinball game released ~decade after South Park; referenced for superior audio/quotes by Caucasian Two-Step |
| Godzilla | product | Pinball game mentioned as hypothetical choice versus Dead in single-game collection scenario |
| Dead | product | Pinball game mentioned as hypothetical choice versus Godzilla in single-game collection scenario |
| Ko-fi | organization | Crowdfunding platform where Wedgehead Podcast solicits donations for Colorado trip |

### Topics

- **Primary:** Location vs. tournament pinball split, Theme-driven vs. mechanical-depth game design, Casual vs. serious player preferences, South Park (1999 Sega) playfield design and mechanics, Audio/voice acting value in pinball games
- **Secondary:** PinSide ranking credibility and methodology, Guilty pleasure gaming and social stigma, Operator earnings vs. critical reception

### Sentiment

**Mixed** (0.55) — Marcus and the hosts mount an entertaining defense of South Park, reframing its 'bad' design as intentional theme integration and location-focused gameplay. However, the episode is structured around reading overwhelmingly negative PinSide reviews, creating a tone of defending the indefensible. Alan himself dislikes the game. The sentiment is fundamentally pro-South Park within the episode's argument, but the broader community context (rank #251, universal critical dismissal) anchors the tone as 'fighting uphill.' The humor and engagement are genuine, but the material being defended remains contentious.

### Signals

- **[market_signal]** South Park pinball exhibits stark performance split: strong earnings at casual/location venues but near-bottom PinSide ranking. Marcus reports it as his best-earning DMD despite its 2,200 unit sales (vs. 9,000 for Pinball 2000 platform), indicating market segmentation between location operators and home collectors/tournament players. (confidence: high) — Marcus: 'By far my best earning DMD... doubles Whitewater weekly.' Alan: 'That game won't even get looked at [in some locations]... how casual or how pinball-oriented is your local player base.' PinSide rank #251.
- **[gameplay_signal]** Playfield design deliberately favors casual play: oversized holes (Kenny scoop, Cartman hole 4-5 pinballs wide), easy shot access, generous replay scoring. Marcus defends this as thematic/comedic; critics see it as lacking mechanical challenge. Hidden difficulty exists (Stan shot via right flipper through pops is tough), but overshadowed by easy modes. (confidence: high) — Marcus: 'comically oversized holes... It's theme... That's comedy.' Jar155: 'there isn't a single difficult shot... Most shots are very wide open, far too forgiving.' Alan notes the Kenny/Cartman holes are '4-5 pinballs wide.'
- **[product_concern]** Multiple reviewers cite cheap build quality and maintenance issues. Marcus acknowledges the game is 'not easy to work on' but claims can be 'dialed in' and 'holding up real nice once fixed.' King Daddy review criticizes thin, simplistic construction, though Marcus counters with toy count (Kenny falling mech, toilet bowl, Mr. Hankey pop-up, multiball lid). (confidence: medium) — King Daddy: 'Cheap build quality... thin, overly simplistic.' Marcus: 'I've had to work on a couple different things... not easy to work on. But you can dial them in.'
- **[design_philosophy]** South Park represents philosophy of theme-driven accessibility over mechanical depth. Designers prioritized audio clips, character integration, and visual comedy over rule complexity. Game succeeds at entertaining non-pinball fans and casual location players; fails to engage serious/competitive players. (confidence: high) — Marcus: 'People just want to hear the characters talk... themes are what draw people to play it.' Caucasian Two-Step: 'South Park is a game where the theme is king.' Waterboy: 'South Park does well... where people are new to pinball, you know, and they recognize the theme.'
- **[collector_signal]** South Park exhibits high secondary market turnover despite critical disdain. Pinballer1 bought cheap, tired of it in a week, resold quickly ('was gone in a matter of days'). Strong demand from casual/theme buyers despite low game rankings creates liquidity for flippers. (confidence: high) — Pinballer1: 'got this game really cheap... played the crap out of it for about a week... put it back up for sale. Luckily, it's a very easy game to sell and was gone in a matter of days.'
- **[industry_signal]** South Park was Sega's final pinball game before acquisition by Stern. Despite 2,200 unit sales (vs. 9,000 for Pinball 2000 platform), South Park's location earnings reportedly exceeded P2000 combined. Marcus claims game 'killed Pinball 2000,' suggesting theme/accessibility success over technical innovation. (confidence: medium) — Alan: 'final game that Sega pinball produced before they were bought and repackaged as Stern.' Marcus: 'Those two games sold 9,000 compared to South Park's paltry 2,200... There's way more quarters that have gone into South Park than those two games combined.'
- **[content_signal]** Wedgehead's 'Die on This Hill' series generates engagement by inviting passionate advocates to defend critically low-ranked games. South Park episode represents first instance where host (Alan) actively dislikes the game being defended, creating tension between host skepticism and guest advocacy. (confidence: high) — Alan told Waterboy: 'This is the first time we're doing one where he's like, "I just fucking hate this thing. I do not like South Park."' Alan: 'I want to remember what it's like to play South Park' (replayed to prepare for episode).
- **[community_signal]** Serious pinball players view South Park as guilty pleasure—acceptable to enjoy casually but socially risky to admit in competitive circles. Waterboy: 'everybody knows you're not supposed to like it when you're like good at pinball.' Theme-driven accessibility games carry reputational cost in hardcore community. (confidence: high) — Waterboy: 'everybody knows you're not supposed to like it when you're like good at pinball. But like, there were people that were like, "I still kind of like it."' Caucasian Two-Step: 'serious pinheads may be left with something to desire... Humorless twits need not apply.'
- **[gameplay_signal]** Game features five-character qualification loop (hit each shot 4x per ball to light character, then complete character mode to light solid). Multiball requires all five characters lit. Marcus has not completed wizard mode legally in regular play, suggesting hidden difficulty outweighs apparent ease. (confidence: high) — Marcus: 'You got five different main shots... You got to hit a shot four times with the same ball... to qualify the character... Then you do it... get a little mini wizard... Finally... get all five characters lit up solid. And then that's the final wizard mode... I have not even done it on my own legally yet.'
- **[product_strategy]** South Park's success (despite low mechanical ranking) validates theme licensing as powerful market driver for location operators. Game based on first-season South Park (lowest-rated era of show), yet theme alone sustained location earnings. Relevant to manufacturer strategy around IP acquisition. (confidence: medium) — Marcus: 'themes are what draw people to play it. It's consistently my best, best earning DMD.' Alan: 'You signed your real name?' suggests theme/IP cultural power.
- **[design_innovation]** South Park deliberately employs oversized/forgiving scoop and hole design (Kenny 4-5 balls wide, Cartman hole on far right) as thematic callback to show's cartoon proportions. Marcus frames as intentional comedy; critics frame as lazy design. Represents tension between cartoon aesthetics and pinball mechanical tradition. (confidence: high) — Marcus: 'It's a comic. It's supposed to be that... That's comedy. Comedy makes you laugh.' Alan: 'why is that a good design decision?' Jester: 'Main shots are too easy... Feels lazily designed.'
- **[operational_signal]** Marcus's operational data shows South Park as highest-earning DMD on his route despite low critical ranking, performing at least 2x better than Whitewater. This venue-level insight conflicts with PinSide collective ranking, suggesting discrepancy between enthusiast evaluation and casual player behavior. (confidence: high) — Marcus: 'By far my best earning DMD... sits right next to a decent Whitewater with a topper, and it at least doubles it every week. At least.' Re-confirmed later: 'I'm here for the unspoken masses who drop quarters in South Park.'

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## Transcript

 This movie might not be appropriate for your little ones. You signed your real name? Of course I did. If you believe in something, you sign your name to it. Alright, I'm gonna tell you right now. I ain't crazy. This is the ground you'll die on. Are you sure? Oh my god, are you serious? Son, people can see you. I don't tell you what to do with your money. Don't fucking tell me what to do with mine, okay? I'm not as dumb as you think I am. I will defend myself. He means it, sweetheart. Well, that's because you're an idiot. I will fight and win because I am the most intelligent. You sure about that? You sure about that? I got something I want to say. Well, all you motherfuckers think you know who Kenny Powers is. Well, I'm here today to tell you all you don't know shit. Oh, I give up. You're going to get yourself killed, and this time I won't be able to save you. I make you laugh. I'm a clown. I amuse you. I'm here to fucking amuse you. Come on, don't bullshit me. Go ahead and go, but I'm not going to stop yelling, because then that'll mean I lost the fight. So, please leave a T under the mat. I love you all very much. Peace out. Serenity now! Serenity now! What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Okay, a simple wrong would have done just fine, but this makes no sense. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to another special edition of the Wedgehead Pinball Podcast. As always, I am Alan, your host of the show, one of the owners of Wedgehead in Portland, Oregon. joined today by my good friend and co-host of the show, Alex the Waterboy, aka El Chico de Agua. How you doing, Alex? I'm doing pretty good, but I'd be doing better if our listeners went to coffee.com slash Wedgehead Podcast and gave us some money to help support a trip to Colorado to go see our friends, play some pinball, check out some spots there. Again, that's ko-fi.com slash Wedgehead Podcast. But it's not just me today. We're joined by our friend Marcus. He started a scene down in Northern California. We had him on a previous episode, and today we got a special episode, right? Yeah, in case you're a new listener, Die on this Hill is a special series we do on this show where we invite a guest on to come and speak with us about why they passionately love a game that many other pinball players do not. These games are ranked in the bottom third of pinsides all time game ranking list and this week's game is the final game that sega pinball produced before they were bought and repackaged as stern which you know today that game of course is 1999 south park designed by the twin joes balser and cam and cow oh the big jays big jays software by the trio of neil falconer oran day and lonnie rob rob hurtado on mechanics and kyle johnson on sound it's obviously licensed based upon the hugely popular adult cartoon and was a reported killer earner back in the day on location but it currently sits at number 251 on the pin side list and that's what our guest marcus is here with us to discuss marcus why does everyone hate the south park pinball machine and why are they wrong i used to be a south park pin snob i have to just start there i used to think oh what a dumb game look at the big scoops, the big holes, you know, what am I doing here? You know, I'm trying to play pinball. So when I started a route, a guy offered me the game in a nice deal. So I'm like, you know what? I got this location now. I hear these stories about everybody loves South Park. It's a great location game. That's what it was called. A location game. Terrible for players or tournaments, but great for location. So I'm like, okay, I'll get the South Park. I'll eat my pride. I'll take the game i'll put it out by far my best earning dmd wow themes get plays this is true everybody knows that it's true in pinball themes are what draw people to play it's consistently my best best earning dmd it sits right next to a decent whitewater with a topper and it at least doubles it every week at least that doesn't surprise me as a big fan of whitewater that doesn't surprise me that's still crazy though because you're coming to like a small community where it's like you're not like getting like tons of like casual traffic it's like most of the people coming into your spot and playing pinball have probably played this thing before they should know better right there are people in my league say this is my favorite game all time hands down oh my god so they're gonna love this episode yeah oh yeah i'm here for them i'm here for the people alan yeah and water boy i'm here for the people the unspoken masses who drop quarters in south market have no idea what they're doing okay because they just see south park and they put quarters in it they go oh okay that's pinball i'm a man of the people today all right i have become one of the people okay i don't like doctor who WHO dunnit road show pinball magic fish tails is the only one that comes close to what south park does fish tail the only one interesting people just want to hear the characters talk they see them they know they want to hear them talk like even if If you hit the start, I have people that go in and just hit the start button with no credits yet because they got to hear Cartman say, come on, even Kenny's family has a quarter. You can go get the real audio clip. It's probably way better than my voice. But people just want to hear it, right? This game, and I totally agree with that opening statement. I think this game is what killed Pinball 2000. and by the way everybody you're welcome because those two games are terrible oh wow okay well i mean not if you own one then this must be wonderful but sure so yeah those games sold 9 000 compared to south park's paltry 2200 yeah yeah i'd bring that up what got played more south park hands down there's way more that quarters have gone into south park than those two games combined guaranteed put my house on it right actually i'd believe that honestly so here's the weird part is like i hear such conflicting reports about south park and its earnings i have no reason to doubt that in its day like upon release it did very well i think that's awesome that it still does really well for you in your scene but i've heard from other people that like that game won't even get looked at because but i think what the difference is is like how casual or how pinball oriented is your local player base going into a location i think we touched on this but it was like south park does well in a place where people are new to pinball you know and they recognize the theme like you're saying marcus but like pinball players have a strong dislike for this game right like like more experience you said you started off as a hater and you've come around probably because you've seen the joy it's brought to your local player base and that's warmed your little grinch heart and it grew you know two times the size but like for other operators come to embrace the gameplay i have come to embrace the game itself that's how far i've come so it's possible for everybody i know it earned really well for my buddy my buddy's arcade it did really well there as well yeah but that was like a fairly casual player base but there were definitely people in that like league that played that like just would always be like i still kind of like south park like everybody knows you're not supposed to like it when you're like good at pinball but like there were people that were like i still kind of like it Yeah. If I could change, you could change. Everybody could change. It's very much like a guilty pleasure game for anybody. Anybody that knows pinball knows they're not supposed to like it, but sometimes they do. And so it's like it gets at you. Yeah, which is interesting. So we're going to start. We do have quite a few of these reviews. believe it or not i don't neither this was it was funny alan told me we're doing an episode on this and he said normally he's like normally we do a die on this hill and he's like i kind of like the game like at least a bit and he's like this is the first time we're doing one where he's like i just fucking hate this thing i do not like south park oh welcome welcome my son to the light i've not played one probably since the first you know year i was playing pinball in the last time we were at next level i was playing it because i had already talked to you marcus and i was like i need to play this again fresh and i need to have this in my brain and you walked up to me water boy and you're like you're playing south park and i was like hey man i'm gonna i want to know i want to remember what it's like you know i want to remember what it's like to play south park so i went out and did that i will say especially when i was younger like i'm a big south park fan like i i love the show i love the movie and i used to watch it a lot before we're spoiling any of the reviews here this game came out in 99 it was based on the first season of south park the first season of south park if you're a fan of south park is not the best version of the show it's a little rough around the edges it's just the jokes are what the critics would get very lowbrow very toilet humor and that kind of stuff nothing but foul language and toilet humor the show then morphed into a show that was cutting like satire and was like razor sharp that's not in this game the game is like that's the thing to me is it's like this cartoonish representation because i i grew up watching south park but it would have been much later than after this game you know the first time i ever saw an episode of south park was probably 15 years after this game came out and no not that long but 10 years after it or whatever and so it's very weird for me and like jarring to go back to this era that's one of my biggest gripes about it lay out aside is it's just like man this is really something so i i think that there's you know like i'm a big fan of the theme in theory i do think though that like i do think though that like this is well theme integrated despite it being just the first season like this is a south park game the giant kenny that you hit and he falls over when he dies. You know, like, that's a big recurring joke that, oh my god, they killed Kenny. The Central Mech being a toilet with Mr Hankey like Mr Hankey was in the first season and the second season of South Park He not really a big character in South Park Again this is the literal toilet humor of this game which is fine No, this is about more than fart jokes. But like the show gets a lot better, I think. And I think, you know, maybe pinball machines have gotten the games that Sega now Stern is making. Maybe they've gotten a lot better over the years. Maybe. But Marcus is here to say. The thing about the show is you have to be able to laugh at yourself because it pokes fun at everybody. For sure. Yeah. No matter where you're from, what religion, gender, ethnicity, social class, whatever. It's just everything's open season. And so you got to be able to laugh at yourself if you watch the show because at some point they're going to make a joke about something you think. About you. Yeah. And your beliefs being dumb. Yeah, exactly. That is the brilliant of the especially the later part of that show is like at first it was kind of shock jock humor. and then at some point in south park it became fighting social commentary it must be because he's political and stuff i bet i could be political too you know that's like what i really love and so i love pinball i love south park i'm the market for this game yet it's never really done it's never really gotten to me but i want to hear we want to start reading you some of these reviews and want to have you react to them and just sort of like explain more about why this game is good. Okay. We're going to start with the first one. The first two of these are pretty short. But the first one says, Combo Man says, the fart jokes get old really fast. And it also gives out free games way too easily. Okay. Yeah, I mean, gives out free games way too easily. I think that one's interesting because that's like something I would say now. and not even just as like an operator on coin drop but just like as a location player i'm like when i get into a game that's too easy it will upset me yeah but it's got indexing you know this is a reflection of this guy because it's got indexing like or whatever a score index yeah you're like but that is a reflection of who's playing south park is probably driving the replay score way down way down yeah well come to susanville bro you won't get a free play that sounds like a challenge okay guaranteed mr w464 says south park is the worst game there is when it's all said and done the gameplay is bad the sounds are bad the art is lackluster and the theme is squandered ah what are you talking about like okay so the rules the rules are simple to explain but it's just like any other bally williams of the era simple to explain is not a bad thing Simple to explain is not bad. But it's not that easy to do. You got five different main shot, right? You got to hit a shot four times with the same ball, by the way, to qualify the character. Like you don't get to carry over your progress to your next ball. It takes some skill and you got to work hard at it. And so you got to hit a shot to qualify. You got to qualify all five characters. That's the first goal. Then you do it. Get a little mini wizard. Every mode, when you qualify a character, you start a little mode for the character and you got to complete that mode to make that character light up solid and you got to get all five characters lit up solid and then that's the final wizard mode and honestly i have not even done it on my own legally yet whoa whoa yeah wow okay it's a little different maybe yours is set up a little different than the ones i've played i mean i am gonna say i am gonna say like there's a little wood choppy element of like a lot of the modes are like hit the one shot over and over to start it and then hit that shot again over and over and over to finish it that's what i remember yeah kinda fair not all of them but yes i mean when you when you start the chef mode you got to hit all five different shots well i like the chef mode oh well that's good you're telling me there's five shots in this game that's a four main shots huh and then but then there's also the multiball stand-ups where they're in front of the toilet totally and so you got it uh i think it's a stand on the on the left through the pops you got to hit the shot through the pops everybody loves a shot through the pops come on say you don't want a shot yeah that is probably the most interesting shot of the game playing adam's family no it's south park i could i could have sworn i was playing adam's family right here it's the same game when you turn the stand mode your stand has to kiss his girlfriend three times well of course it's it's an equal thing if you hit the shot stan makes the move and gets the kiss but if you hit enough pops the girl makes the move and makes the kiss why thematic egalitarian it's a women's empowerment a pinball machine that's good i love this okay next next review alan i close wolsky said arg this machine is everywhere in the milwaukee area establishments keep this dud around because amateurs and kids fill this turd with their germ ridden quarters an absolute mess the theme is underutilized and has zero replay value seems like for every good pin on route there are two south parks kill south park not kenny i hate you kenny bro if a baby smiles at you are you the you feel like cold inside like what what is wrong what what is south park doing to you that's a good hater review right there review i like that one because he didn't give us anything to defend he just hates it he's just like man they're everywhere and kids fill this turd with their germ written quarters okay we'll get to an objective review so we have something to refute hopefully king daddy says when people say sterns have a cheap build quality this is the first game that comes to mind it just looks and feels sort of crappy what the fuck are you talking about the The game itself is thin, overly simplistic, gimmicky. But just like a lousy Adam Sandler summer movie, it's a crowd pleaser. Go figure. It's not easy to work on. Okay. I'll be the first to admit that. I've had to work on a couple different things, different mechs, and they're not easy to work on. But you can dial them in. It's been holding up real nice once you get it fixed up. That's good. But, yeah, cheap. dude there's more toys in this between kenny and that toilet bowl that got mr hanky popping out of it and then the lid pops up for the multiball to start i mean that's got more toys than most games these days doesn't it yeah that's not wrong there yeah right there's some mechs on the game and there's actually lots of like little characters in the game you know like like little figurines i don't i think those are mods that you're looking at in this picture I don't think they always have little figures. I think they're pretty much there. Do they actually have figures? Yeah. Oh, okay. My bad. That came factory. Wow. Yeah. This thing's loaded, dude. Loaded, bro. Jester says, main shots are too easy. Feels lazily designed and is a giant disappointment. This pin is an abomination. All right, man. So how many times have you saved South Park from the volcano erupting? That's all I want to know. just say yep uh wizard mode every time i play it okay let's hear you say that i'd say this is the one this is my gripe is that a lot of these shots not necessarily all of them because it's like the pop shot is a normal like width in a pop cluster in the shot the chef shot at the very top of the playfield or whatever is way back there but my big what i remember from playing this game is that the kenny scoop and then i think it's the cartman hole on the right are just massive they're like comically oversized holes don't call me fat you butt fucking son of a bitch they're like four pinballs wide or five even yeah it's if you're playing with somebody that doesn't know what they're doing they'll just keep hitting those and it just then you have to wait for the ball to kickback out and it's just like you just keep falling into these like massive gaping like holes on the play field why is that a good design decision yes thank you alan water boy brought up a good point it's comically oversized hello it's theme it's a comic it's supposed to be that like it's certainly different we're laughing right now that's comedy comedy makes you laugh thank you thank you south park you've achieved your your objective everybody's smiling about these huge holes and cartman's got one hey don't call me fat and kenny's got one and if you just want to hit those big holes all day eat your heart out you know and that's what makes you joyful that brings you happiness go for it but i tell you what the cartman hole is not as easy as it looks it's very far on the right and it's hard to get in there every time hey some little fat kid saved us kenny that's a different story that's a little easier but it's fun it's harder to not hit kenny than it is to hit him you know what i mean like harder to not yeah okay perhaps perhaps but you ain't you ain't gonna save south park from the volcano just hitting kenny all day that's true that's true that's true that's true you do have to hit the other four shots yes five whole shot quickie mart says great theme but a bad pin the butt pipe call outs are extremely annoying and unfunny the cartman hole looks like sega ran out of money to put a toy in there i know the show at the time was juvenile and vulgar but i never knew the day would come when i would see feces that spell out the word multiball i hate this pin and it's too bad because sega got a great theme and flushed it down like mr hanky i just love that they reused that they reused a little poop multiball animation for uh austin powers so this guy he just had to relive that hell twice oh man what's his name what's his handle quickie mark quickie mark you need to relax a little bit pal okay quit taking life so serious just enjoy well he's quickie mark he might just be a simpsons fan which is why there's all this south park slander dude yeah he could just be trying to drive yeah yeah you know what i mean yeah south park was originally trying to try to go to fox but uh they didn't they wouldn't take them they had to go to comedy central it's too hot for fox okay next next review is from a regular writer someone that comes up often on our show not a while though it's been a while since we had one of these that's true it's caucasian two-step he says south park is a game where the theme is king the good it's a south park pinball game multiball start is nicely done even though it's shit literally. I mean, Mr. Hankey. Killing Killing never gets old. When he survives, it's even funnier. Quotes on this game are spot on Not as good as Family Guy but that game came out a decade later The artwork is true to the paper cut graphics of the show The bad useless right flipper and left side of the playfield How this design ever evolved into The Simpsons Pinball Party is beyond me. Still, that's what I see on this deck. Rules are uninspired and not worth getting into other than stacking your shots for multiball. Points are points in a tournament. You probably will not see this game in a serious tourney ever. This is another game that has a designer that is embarrassed to list their name on the credits of this table, rightly so. Finally, to whomever made the decision to take out the swearing audio in the video mode, damn you, damn you to hell. Now I want to know where you heard these horrific obscenities, okay? This is the point of the show, and it should be for the pinball game. Humor through irreverence. Note to self, get to the proto-roms. The takeaway? Lots of people played this game because it was entertaining to the South Park viewer. Serious pinheads may be left with something to desire. Humorless twits need not apply. It could be worse, though. It could be Austin Powers. That's foreshadowing, Waterboy. Well, I can't disagree with that last statement personally. Austin Powers is great. What are you guys talking about? Austin Powers is kind of hard. It's been a while since I played it, but I kind of liked it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm kind of curious, too, about Awesome Powers. Yeah, we're all looking. It's kind of fun. It's kind of fun. You know, there's somebody out there that's got to be putting together a collection, a Die on That Hill collection. Oh, dude, that'd be fun. I've been inspired. It would be cool to have every Die on That Hill game at one place and just go to town. You know what we need to do is we probably need to do that at a big show. That'd be pretty funny. Oh, yeah. That would be the way to do it, and then what we could do is organize a tournament or some event where people – like a pin golf probably where you play each one all the way through. Yeah. And then you come out, and then you have to rank the Die on the Hill games from best to worst. Like I think that would be fun. That would be fun. But the right flipper goes through the pops on the left. You have to have the right flipper to hit the stand shot, and it's the toughest shot on the table. By far the toughest shot on the table. Yep. All right. Matt Cyberscott says the South Park phenomenon is completely lost on me. This is one of the worst pinball machines I've ever played. The sounds of speech are annoying and the game isn't very exciting to play. The game was very successful, so I'm probably in the minority. But I guess if it liked the show, my rating might reflect that. He is the biggest bitch of them all. So he's like, maybe I just don't like it because of the theme. Wow. Yeah, I guess not everybody's doesn't flip everybody's pancakes, I guess. I love that. yeah if you don't like the show you know you're not gonna like the game i feel like that might be accurate yeah i can't argue with that one i mean dude but go see that one episode where everybody in san francisco is like so into being down to you know yeah they're all sniffing their own farts yeah it's like the highlight of their day you know and it's like dude i used to live just north you know in san rafael just across the bridge and it's like these guys they know people in San Francisco. Because this is like so incredibly accurate. Like you have to know the people to know how funny this is. Otherwise, you're not going to laugh. Yeah. Okay, Pinballer1 says, got this game really cheap and I was extremely excited to get it. I got it home, played the crap out of it for about a week and then I was so sick of it, I put it back up for sale. Luckily, it's a very easy game to sell and was gone in a matter of days. The audio is funny at first, but then becomes extremely annoying and repetitive. The play field is really nice to look at, but it has no hard shots at all, and there are just not enough modes to keep a serious player coming back. I didn't listen to the ratings on here again, and I should have. I bought a Star Wars Episode I and regretted it, and now I regret owning this turd. Damn, shit, we respect my fucking authority! Pinballer out. Oh, so you happen to run into the same problem every single pinball owner ever faces. because yes you buy a machine and you get tired of it oh i'm so sorry yeah it doesn't mean the game is bad necessarily it just means you got tired of it in a week i agree with marcus on that where it's like we try to say that on the show like everyone's like i have room for one game you're like game should i buy am i getting godzilla or am i getting dead because i'm only getting one of those two south park is a little rich though you know i feel like it would be a lot to be your one game at home any game that you don't already love is a lot to have at home that's true like you should start off loving a game if you're going to buy it especially if it's going to be your only one and then you'll still get sick at exactly even your favorite game you'll get sick of but tilt says when i first saw the playfield it looked like it was designed for little kids which seemed funny seeing that the show is so rude and crude even a south park fan will get bored quickly with this game the audio might keep them interested for a while then they'll kick the step stool back under it and wander over to the big boy machines let's go so how many what spooky vision okay so you got the mini get the mini wizard every time you walked up to it there's a little pin wizard like without without your store did you need your stool to get to spooky vision i bet you had to stand on the stool to get your spooky vision right that almost said that last sentence almost said like that sounded like water boy wrote that review that sounds like something water boy would say like are you that short water wander over to the big boy machines like come on over here to the big boy machines we're playing simpsons pinball party i like how he did say the audio might keep him interested for a while though because you specifically said the audio is one of the best parts and what everybody loves comes back for well it's great and it's got 10 stand-ups on there that are not the stand-ups for the multiball. So there's a total of 13 stand-ups. And the other 10 stand-ups are all characters from the show. When you hit one of those stand-ups, you get a call-out from one of the characters in the show. Oh, that's actually kind of cool. Dude, there's way more in this than you think. Okay, Jar. Next review is from Jar155. He says, I'm really not into this game at all. This is one of the most boring machines that has been put out in the last 20 years. Come on, rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy. Sure, if you love South Park, the theme is going to carry the game for you a little while. but the gameplay is extremely shallow and there isn't a single difficult shot on the playfield. The first time I played it, I spent over 20 minutes on the game and I was still on my second ball with an extra ball in hand. Scoring the bonuses was far too easy. Most shots are very wide open, far too forgiving. The progressions to complete modes is pretty weak. Games last so long that you hear pretty much each audio clip several times per ball. By my third ball, I just asked a kid in the arcade if he wanted to finish my game. Unless you're just playing for a high score, this one won't appeal to you for too long fun for south park fanatics but a dud for pinball players okay so what's his name jar 155 like jar jar binks like could be jar jar is throwing shade at south park like south park killed jar jar binks episode one like that game that this is the reason jar jar didn't make it in life is probably South Park pinball. But so I'm just real curious about this. Was he just trying to kill Kenny over and over? Like, is that what took so long? Okay, fine. You want to sit there all day and kill Kenny? Because it's funny. He falls over. Right. And you might want to do that. But did you get I heard nothing of spooky vision, mini wizard. I heard nothing of saving the town of South Park from a volcano eruption. That's a good point. You didn't say anything. Because that is not easy to do, son. You cannot just step up to it and do it. And like, oh, you know, without knowing what you're doing and trying to do it. And it's not easy. Now I'm like, I got to save this volcano explosion so I can stop ever playing this game ever again. Yeah, I got to go do it. There you go. Now you know what your job is there, Alan. All right. Pin Detective says, I love the South Park cartoon and the odd sense of humor that revolves around that. This game is junk. It did a good job getting the stray kid in the arcade to plop a few quarters into it to hear some of the sounds. But otherwise, it does nothing for a lover of classic and modern pinballs. And we think that sucks ass. Wow. Okay. Okay. But you do like classics, huh? And classics are so much deeper than what South Park has to offer. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's no deep. Because, you know, in classics, if you hit a shot four times, you hit a shot four times. In South Park, you hit a shot four times, you start a romance between Stan and his girlfriend. okay so don't tell me you like classics and then you don't like south park yeah south park is a classic that's so much more it's got so much more chef talking about his no no's i mean you got it all no show me a classic where you got a chef talking about his no no's that's a very specific requirement there but i think i think this is the only game that would qualify i think it's the only one i'd have to go play austin powers again see if i copied that audio in there okay cats and bugs says if i got up at 4 30 in the morning the first thing i said was boring and if i said boring for the next 24 hours i could not say enough borings to say how boring this one shot boring play school game is it has scented my vocabulary no wonder people lost interest in pinball when games of this stature were produced to me it has the feel of a whiteboard pre-production game hit kenny is neat the extra large kick out hole that's just like added in there as a side but then he goes on the extra large kick out hole made extra large for the preschool crowd is just plain dumb was happy as if i had just won a game when i got all five balls stuck there at once and the machine could not reset i was happy that no other hapless fool like me would be putting in quarters to help promote the further playing of this kid's game eat penguin shit you ass be lunker well he does bring up a valid point is that if the game which is what my experience was prior and honestly i might have written that review earlier in my life right because you go to a machine this just goes back to our subject at hand of running good machines on location that all work properly. Like my machine has never had five balls stuck in it, you know? So it's not like a common problem, number one. But number two, he brings up a good subject because South Park's got played so much. There's so many of them are just roached. Yeah And if they don play right what does it do It doesn play right Switch doesn work Balls don kick out It like oh pinball is terrible I don ever want to play pinball And so we want to avoid that. Right. That's the whole point of our little podcast we got here. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to if you got a South Park on a location pinball for everyone, you need that. You need that South Park playing nice to really convince people about how good this game is per Marcus. yeah that's it and clearly the dude was only hitting the kenny shot because that's the only shot he had a comment on because he didn't get a spooky vision mini wizard he didn't get the save south part from the erupting volcano did he no he did not i haven't seen a single review mention any of the wizard or mini wizard they might be in the good reviews see that's the thing dude it's like we were talking about like we're looking for confirmation confirmation bias here Yeah, all we're seeing is these haters. No one's mentioned the rules and know what you're trying to do. Now we have a pinball challenge. Nobody's saying that the spooky vision mini wizard mode is boring or something because none of these guys are getting there. Okay, next review, Alan. Dr. Junior says South Park is one of the worst playing games of the modern era. The art package is obviously cartoonish and not bad for fans of the show. Well, yeah, I mean, it is just art from the show. yeah um the theme is strictly the standard juvenile humor of the show and the pin did pretty well on location because of the popularity of the show when it came out however there's almost nothing to shoot at the left side especially has the typical lawler style through the pop-up or shot and a bunch of stand-ups that add little to the play the right side has three shots so i guess it's a little better the game is essentially an endless multiball flail fest with a bunch of inconsequential jackpots it is pretty easy it has that appeal for newcomers skilled players should find something else to do or risk lapsing into a coma i did times i learned that you are a boner biting dick fight fuck thing all right there skilled player so you when you hit when you complete a mode on a character and then start multiball that shot is now worth more during multiball fyi that's good to know okay so you want to complete your modes before you start a multiball At least one or two of them, yeah. So that you at least have some extra shots that are going to give you extra points. Yeah, probably like Kenny, I would guess. Right, at least get Kenny out of the way. But during multiball, it's a fun multiball. It's got five ball, not six like these modern games. That's too many. Six is too many. Please, let's cap it at five. That's a reasonable five. It is plenty, right? Five is plenty. That's all you can want. And guess what South Park has? Five. Yeah, that's the right amount. Thank you. one for every shot on the game trying to hit you're trying to hit the toilet again you're trying to hit all the different one of the other five shots okay for double jackpots go back to the stand-up and once you get that done well guess what lights up the right ramp with all these beautiful arrows and guess what that is super jackpot dude hey super jackpots are good yeah and then you got to go do it again then you got to do the other jackpot and then you got to go back to super jackpot how many super jackpots you got bro four five i think it's how many can you do oh there's a limit you do how long can you go we'll see we'll see next time i'm gonna run into a south park dude i'm going to seek one of these out after this i'm going to make it to the wizard mode i guarantee but so i can have an opinion on this and then we're definitely gonna do it Oh, yeah. Next time I see a South Park. Get your little finger tips ready. Okay, last review. It's from our buddy Glenn Peters. Puts his full fucking legal name on his reviews. Always cracks me up. But Glenn Peters says, This hunk of junk is nothing more than a waste of Earth's natural resources. Ah, don't get all pissy. Who made this thing? Sega? Are you sure it wasn't Play School? Hey, stop crowding us, you shit-faced cockmasters. Fisher Price? The show itself does have some merit, but I don't think even that could carry this abomination in Pinball's clothing, trying to ride the cartoon's coattails. The only possible solution for these mechanical menaces would be to take the whole lot of them, ship them to the Middle East. There we could use them for strategic and psychological warfare by boring all the terrorists to death. How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Gacy? I didn't read this. I don't want to review that. Jesus, man. I don't want that one. I feel bad putting his name on it. I'm like, that's not all that's aged, Stuberger. He put his own name on that. He gets to stand on that comment. Well, if the worst thing we're doing is shipping a bunch of PlaySchool and Fisher-Price games to the Middle East, we've done worse. Yeah, we have done worse. Yeah, we have done worse than that. What a review. I don't even – I should have pre-read that one. I know. Waterboy always goes in cold. See, I collect all these, so I know what's coming. Waterboy always goes in cold. I just was not expecting that. That's why it's the best one to end on because it's such an unhinged, like, irrational review. You're just like, my God, playing a game of pinball causes you to write that paragraph? Like, think about that. I got to say, it's pretty funny. It is pretty funny. It's a machine based on a cartoon is supposed to appeal to old pervs, like not a younger audience. like who else is supposed to appeal to i'm trying to scratch my head here it's some people this is why we do the show dude people hate south park they it's just an abomination as multiple reviews called it and they don't think it should exist and that we got to ship them all to the middle east i guess i think it's just funny it's why we do the die on the hill segments is because there's two sides to every story and some people really like these games and you were a hater and you were converted so you know marcus before we wrap this though how do we get to the mini wizard mode and the wizard mode that you keep mentioning okay so mini wizard you have to qualify all five characters okay you have to hit each shot four times and you got to do it on the same ball if you do it on the same ball that flashing character will stay flashing if even even if you don't finish their mode and that will carry to the next ball okay so once you qualify a character it will carry over to the next ball but your shot progress to to qualify that character does not carry over gotcha start a mode but then you have to follow the directions and finish that you have to complete the mode to make him go solid so you got to complete you got to complete all five modes get the light solid to get to the actual wizard mode correct so it's start all five start all five to get to the mini wizard spooky vision and then complete all five modes to get into the volcano save south park correct okay that's what me and alan are doing next time we see one of these things all right we're gonna go find one of these and i recommend all listeners you if you're lucky you live in milwaukee and i hear there's two of these for every one other pinball machine in that city i'm sure that i think that review was written like 15 years ago so that might not be the case any longer but yeah use the pinball map and go find one of these things yeah use the map find one of these things get to the wizard mode so you can write a valid negative review if you feel negatively about it or just write this was awesome all i had to do was save the town of south park from the volcano and now i get it yeah it might all click suddenly but we want to thank you uh marcus for joining us on the show i almost called you glenn i was like i was like i don't want to i don't want to confuse the both of you here that's mr peters if you're nasty yeah i don't want to you have diametrically opposed opinions on the quality of sound park pinball machine here we want to thank you for joining us on the show once again this is great one of what is a really bad game dude people yeah this is considered by most pinheads as a punching bag so i right you understood the assignment and you came prepared and that's what we do on die on the hill for any listeners if you have a game that you want to die on the for send us an email uh wetshedinfo at gmail.com and we'll put you in the queue we do have kind of a lot that we're still kind of rolling through we have a lot of people wanting to come on the show and we will get you on the show eventually yeah eventually we're doing our best we're doing our best we do a show every week we try our best like that's all i could tell everyone when they reach out uh marcus i think reached out i don't know what like four months ago something like that so takes a little bit of time for all the listeners, but we will get you on the show to defend one of these games. And we want to thank everyone for listening. And until next time, good luck. Don't suck. Don't suck. Was in the Olympic skating for the goal He did two south cows and a triple That's why wearing a blindfold When Brineboy Tonto was in the house Fighting Grizzly Bear He used his magical fire breath And saved the major's face What was Brineboy Tonto doing? He were here today I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two That's what Brineboy Tonto did I want to speech him out of me It has stunted my vocabulary And I just want my mom To stop fighting everyone Or will they all be an activist too? Cause that's what Brian Boitano do That's what Brian Boitano do He call the kids in town And tell them to unite for truth That's what Brian Boitano do And Brian Boitano trapped him Back to the year 2010 He fought the evil robots He can take the human race again And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids He beat up publican Cause Brian Boitano doesn't make shit from men Welcome to the home for the pinball enthusiast, Wedgehead Pinball Podcast. Welcome to the home for the pinball enthusiast, Wedgehead Pinball Podcast.

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*Exported from Journalist Tool on 2026-04-13 | Item ID: 6c15cff6-d443-4719-a787-0196c15fd9d0*