# Episode 89 - Die on this Hill: Star Wars Episode One

**Source:** Wedgehead Pinball Podcast  
**Type:** podcast_episode  
**Published:** 2025-06-30  
**Duration:** 63m 3s  
**Beat:** Pinball

**URL:** Buzzsprout-17404674

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## Analysis

Ian Jacoby from Nudge Magazine defends Star Wars Episode I Pinball (1999) against widespread criticism, arguing it's an underrated game that represents the beautiful twilight of Williams Pinball. The episode explores the game's artistic merit, innovative Pinball 2000 technology, and simple but functional ruleset, while acknowledging legitimate criticisms about limited playfield complexity and repetitive shot sequences. Hosts discuss the game as a cultural time capsule and debate whether contemporary theme licenses versus nostalgia-based designs should drive pinball development.

### Key Claims

- [MEDIUM] Star Wars Episode I was developed concurrently with Revenge from Mars on the Pinball 2000 platform in approximately 6-9 months — _Ian states this timeline 'off the top of my head' and acknowledges uncertainty about exact duration; corroborated by reference to development pressures and licensing challenges_
- [MEDIUM] The Pinball 2000 platform used computer keyboard switches for the action buttons, which George Gomez confirmed were extremely reliable — _Ian recalls conversation with Gomez about Sopranos episode development; cites this as alternative to leaf or opto switches_
- [HIGH] Episode I Pinball ranks #253 on the all-time Pinside list — _Stated as introductory fact in podcast opening_
- [MEDIUM] The center shot rubber band mechanism with a switch behind it was determined to be the best-feeling prototype through testing — _Ian references the 'Tilt: The Battle to Save Pinball' documentary which documents this design decision_
- [MEDIUM] The playfield art style mimics Drew Struzan's vintage movie poster aesthetic — _Ian states 'it's in that style' referencing Struzan's collage-illustration approach, though clarifies this specific artwork may not be by Struzan_
- [HIGH] Episode I was designed by John Papaduke with software by Cameron Silver and Duncan Brown — _Stated in episode introduction as core credit information_
- [LOW] The game is approximately 3 inches shorter than standard pinball cabinets — _Mentioned in passing by host; uncertain whether they're being corrected mid-conversation_
- [HIGH] The Pepper's Ghost effect used in Episode I is difficult to appreciate through photography or video and requires in-person play — _Both hosts repeatedly emphasize this point about the CRT/mirror screen technology's visual impact_

### Notable Quotes

> "This game, it does speak for itself, but I guess not. So I will defend it."
> — **Ian Jacoby**, ~6:30
> _Frames the episode's core premise: defending a universally panned game_

> "It's kind of like a DeLorean. You're like, it's still cool. It's a piece of shit, exactly, but it's cool."
> — **Alan (host)**, ~34:00
> _Captures the contradiction at the heart of the episode: acknowledging flaws while celebrating historical significance_

> "You have to be directly in front of it. It truly feels 3D when you play it."
> — **Ian Jacoby**, ~21:00
> _Emphasizes the Pinball 2000 platform's major strength that doesn't translate to media_

> "What I miss about pinball in this era of pinball in a nutshell is I miss contemporary themes because they do act as time capsules."
> — **Alan (host)**, ~44:00
> _Articulates broader industry shift away from contemporary licenses toward nostalgia IP_

> "If you're chasing, oh, wait, I understand why the manufacturers default to nostalgic games from 30 or 40 years ago because they've proven the test of time type of theory."
> — **Alan (host)**, ~48:00
> _Explains the economic rationality behind safe IP choices versus ambitious contemporary themes_

> "This game was slapped together by the marketing team not a pinball designer."
> — **Caucasian Two-Step (review excerpt)**, ~55:00
> _Represents the harshest criticism: that Episode I prioritized licensing over pinball design_

> "J-pop's worst game."
> — **Caucasian Two-Step (review excerpt)**, ~56:00
> _Definitive negative judgment from a prolific reviewer; suggests designer culpability_

> "The Playfield has so little to do on it other than shoot the center bank. Rules are an afterthought."
> — **Caucasian Two-Step (review excerpt)**, ~54:30
> _Core complaint: ambitious technology masking simplistic ruleset and gameplay_

> "If you want to play pinball you want to play pinball, if you want to watch a Star Wars movie watch Star Wars movie. This deck is a compromise on both aspects."
> — **Caucasian Two-Step (review excerpt)**, ~56:00
> _Articulates the fundamental design identity crisis attributed to Episode I_

> "It is definitely an experience. Both the Pinball 2000 games are just unlike anything else so it's definitely something that if you're new to pinball it's like you've got to go play these things."
> — **Ian Jacoby**, ~40:00
> _Frames Episode I and Revenge from Mars as essential historical/experiential artifacts_

### Entities

| Name | Type | Context |
|------|------|---------|
| Ian Jacoby | person | Editor-in-chief of Nudge Magazine; guest defender of Star Wars Episode I Pinball; pinball enthusiast and design historian |
| Star Wars Episode I Pinball | game | 1999 Williams Pinball release; Pinball 2000 platform; designed by John Papaduke; subject of episode defense |
| Pinball 2000 | product | Modular pinball platform featuring CRT/mirror Pepper's Ghost effect; featured Episode I and Revenge from Mars; last Williams platform before company closure |
| John Papaduke (J-Pop/Papa Duke) | person | Designer of Star Wars Episode I Pinball; criticized by Caucasian Two-Step as responsible for game's design compromises |
| Cameron Silver | person | Software programmer for Star Wars Episode I Pinball |
| Duncan Brown | person | Software programmer for Star Wars Episode I Pinball |
| George Gomez | person | Legendary Stern Pinball designer; confirmed to Ian use of computer keyboard switches in Pinball 2000 action buttons; later designed Sopranos |
| Williams/Bally Williams | company | Pinball manufacturer; Episode I was final game produced before company closure/exit from pinball market |
| Gary Stern | person | Stern Pinball owner; beneficiary of Williams' exit from market; enabled Stern's rise from underdog to market leader |
| Stern Pinball | company | Competitor positioned to dominate market after Williams' Episode I failure and closure |
| Revenge from Mars | game | Pinball 2000 platform predecessor to Episode I; developed concurrently; praised by reviewers as superior execution of platform technology |
| Drew Struzan | person | Legendary movie poster artist; Episode I backglass/art package styled after his vintage painted collage aesthetic |
| Caucasian Two-Step | person | Prolific Pinside reviewer; provided extensive critical review of Episode I; concludes game is designer J-Pop's worst work |
| Kevin O'Connor | person | Credited by Caucasian Two-Step for backglass, playfield, and cabinet art on Episode I |
| Nudge Magazine | organization | Pinball lifestyle publication; Ian Jacoby is editor-in-chief |
| Tilt: The Battle to Save Pinball | product | Pinball documentary covering Pinball 2000 platform development; referenced as source material for Episode I design decisions |
| Spooky Pinball | company | Modern boutique manufacturer mentioned as alternative for players seeking more complex rulesets than Episode I |
| Jersey Jack Pinball (JJP) | company | Premium manufacturer mentioned as alternative to Episode I by reviewers |
| Alan | person | Co-host of Wedgehead Pinball Podcast; pinball operator focused on location placement; skeptical defender of Episode I's position as location game |
| Next Level | organization | Pinball arcade venue where Ian first played Episode I; known for friendly game setup |
| Pinball Brothers | company | Manufacturer mentioned by reviewer as offering Alien remake alternative |

### Topics

- **Primary:** Pinball 2000 Platform Technology, Game Design Philosophy: Rules Complexity vs. Simplicity, Star Wars Episode I IP Execution in Pinball
- **Secondary:** Williams Pinball Factory Closure and Market Consolidation, Contemporary Licensing vs. Nostalgia IP in Pinball, Location Play vs. Home Collector Priorities, Playfield Art and Aesthetic Design, Game Feel: Layout, Shot Flow, and Operator Setup Sensitivity

### Sentiment

**Mixed** (0.55) — Ian Jacoby presents genuine defense of Episode I based on artistic merit, technology innovation, and cultural significance; hosts acknowledge flaws while appreciating historical importance. Community reviews are overwhelmingly negative about gameplay and ruleset, but guest frames these criticisms as missing the point of what the game achieves. Overall tone is respectful debate rather than dismissive; recognition that Episode I's failure had business/market consequences but artistic value as time capsule.

### Signals

- **[business_signal]** Episode I's commercial failure and subsequent Williams market exit consolidated Stern Pinball's market dominance; game's ambitious platform development and licensing costs may have contributed to company financial distress (confidence: medium) — Hosts frame Episode I as 'final nail in coffin' and 'last game ever left the Williams factory'; Ian discusses significant development costs for Pinball 2000 platform
- **[community_signal]** Documentary 'Tilt: The Battle to Save Pinball' serves as authoritative source material for Episode I and Pinball 2000 platform development; suggests growing historical preservation interest in Williams era (confidence: medium) — Ian repeatedly references documentary as detailed source on design decisions (rubber band center shot, keyboard switches); recommends community watch it
- **[sentiment_shift]** Generational pinball audience nostalgia: hosts note this is era they experienced as children; game functions as cultural time capsule of 1999/2000 IP integration peak (confidence: medium) — Alan: 'this is one of the few pins that we get...I was like six when this came out...it's a time capsule game that captures era good and bad'
- **[design_philosophy]** Community consensus: playfield oversimplified (center bank + two ramps primary shots); shot selection and multiball mechanics rely too heavily on luck rather than skill (confidence: high) — Maurice: 'no real nice shots...center and two ramps...multiball almost impossible to start'; Caucasian Two-Step: 'bash center target over and over...snooze'
- **[design_philosophy]** Fundamental conflict between technology showcase (Pinball 2000 visual innovation) and pinball game design priorities (shot variety, ruleset depth); perceived as marketing-driven rather than designer-driven project (confidence: high) — Caucasian Two-Step: 'This game was slapped together by the marketing team not a pinball designer'; design compromise thesis stated explicitly
- **[licensing_signal]** Star Wars licensing negotiation for a movie not yet released (May 1999) created extreme development pressure and approval constraints for designers (confidence: medium) — Ian: 'movie wasn't out yet...had to be approved by Lucas...technology was built from ground up in very short time frame 6-9 months'
- **[market_signal]** Contemporary IP licensing in pinball (1999 Star Wars, Shadow, Dune) now rare; manufacturers default to 40+ year old nostalgia properties (Ghostbusters, Jaws) due to proven market safety over risky contemporary themes (confidence: high) — Alan: 'this sort of harkens back like contemporary themes or licenses are very very rare...I always love it when I get them...they won't make that game now'
- **[personnel_signal]** Kevin O'Connor credited for exceptional backglass/playfield/cabinet art execution; positive artistic execution contrasts sharply with gameplay criticism (confidence: medium) — Caucasian Two-Step: 'Kevin O'Connor did a great job with the team'; Ian: 'amazing art package...just like vintage Star Wars movie posters...beautiful timeless feel'
- **[product_strategy]** Episode I positioned as operator-friendly modular platform machine with innovative technical features (glass lift key, keyboard switches) but ultimately failed on location revenue grounds (confidence: medium) — Ian and Alan discuss operator-friendly features; Maurice's review mentions multiball 'almost impossible to start'; Ian defends as good location game despite limitations
- **[product_concern]** Playfield visibility compromised by CRT screen footprint covering back half of playfield; first-time players disoriented about actual layout, shot mechanics, and target locations (confidence: high) — Ian: 'you don't really know that you're hitting ramps...don't really know what center target looks like...bizarre experience'; Alan played first game by luck, had to use flashlight to understand playfield
- **[sentiment_shift]** Post-release critical consensus remained negative for 25+ years, but recent re-evaluation emerging (Ian's defense) frames game as historical artifact and technology showcase worthy of reconsideration (confidence: medium) — Episode ranks #253 Pinside; Ian explicitly framing this as defense against 'utterly and almost universally hated' reputation; references 'beautiful capstone' and 'twilight of gods' aesthetic
- **[technology_signal]** Pinball 2000 CRT/mirror technology was revolutionary but proved difficult to integrate with meaningful pinball gameplay; playfield layout severely constrained by screen footprint, leading to oversimplified shot sequences (confidence: high) — Multiple reviewers cite 'center target, two ramps, and that's basically it' structure; Ian acknowledges layout simplicity as inherent platform limitation

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## Transcript

 You signed your real name? Of course I did. If you believe in something, you sign your name to it. Alright, I'm gonna tell you right now. I ain't crazy. This is the ground you'll die on. Are you sure? Oh my god, are you serious? Son, people can see you. I don't tell you what to do with your money. Don't fucking tell me what to do with mine, okay? I'm not as dumb as you think I am. I will defend myself. He means it, sweetheart. Well, that's because you're an idiot. I will fight and win because I am the most intelligent. You sure about that? You sure about that? I got something I want to say. Well, all you motherfuckers think you know who Kenny Powers is. Well, I'm here today to tell you all you don't know shit. Oh, I give up. You're going to get yourself killed, and this time I won't be able to save you. I make you laugh. I'm a clown. I amuse you. I'm here to fucking amuse you. Come on. Don't bullshit me. Go ahead and go, but I'm not going to stop yelling because then that'll mean I lost the fight. So please leave a key under the mat. I love you all very much. Peace out. Serenity now! Serenity now! What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Okay, a simple wrong would have done just fine, but this makes no sense. Hello everybody, and welcome back to another episode of the Wedgehead Pinball Podcast, everybody's favorite pinball podcast, right Alan? We're one of many. It's my mom's favorite pinball podcast. It's my mom's favorite pinball podcast as well. So before we get into the actual episode and why we're here today, I have to plug the coffee fundraiser like I always do. Anybody that's been listening to the show knows we're raising some money and, you know, we're always raising money for something. But this is for a trip to go to Colorado, see our friends out there, go visit AJ down in Pueblo, some of the guys in Denver, just all that good stuff. If you're a fan of the show, you want to support us, throw us a few bucks, ko-fi.com slash Wedgehead Podcast. throw us a few bucks you can invite to our discord where we're always you know hanging out and talking with people too anyway with that out of the way what's today's episode about alan we are here to talk about a game that is so reviled so utterly and almost universally hated a game that ended an unbelievable pinball dynasty it was a cutting-edge game with a new augmented reality pinball platform set to reinvent pinball for the new millennium and it was a licensed game based upon one of the biggest franchises of all time with a popular young designer at the helm what could possibly go wrong and yet this would end up being the last game that ever left the williams pinball factory as it hammered the final nail in the coffin of the incredible innovative pinball 2000 platform thus allowing gary stern to go from pinball underdog to pinball juggernaut that game of course is 1999 star wars episode 1 designed by John Papadiuk with software by cameron silver and Duncan Brown. It currently ranks number 253 on the all-time pin side list and joining us on the show this week is Ian Jacoby, the editor-in-chief of Nudge Magazine to defend Star Wars Episode 1. Welcome to the show, Ian. Tell the audience why everything they've ever heard about Star Wars Episode 1, the pinball machine, is wrong. Well, first of all, thank you for having me. It's really a pleasure to be here. Yeah, happy to have you on. Yeah, this game, it does speak for itself, but I guess not. So I will defend it. You just have to look at it. First of all, it is a beautiful machine. When we talk about this being like the end of Williams, it's like the twilight of the gods, right? Like it's this beautiful like capstone of Williams. So you have this like amazing art package. It looks just like the like those vintage Star Wars like movie posters. What is that art style called? I'm not even really sure. It's sort of this like the artist's name is Drew Struzan. he's kind of did all those old movie poster like those collages that are all illustrated and painted word i don't think this is his but clearly you know it's in that style like trying to look like those classic movie posters exactly and it's just like has that even of that era it sort of felt retro right like it was supposed to like harken back and so yeah it just has this like sort of beautiful timeless feel and that to me is is like as an aesthetic piece whenever i see it it's like first ones that like catches my eye i think there's the john williams score right you get a john williams score in this in this game which is like and the actual it's not the actual music because i'll bring this up later but there's this really weird mode where it's like musical chairs but it's the jedi council yeah and it has this really weird like funhouse version of like the star wars theme just an utterly bizarre choice honestly because the rest of it is so like serious and and beautiful so yeah you have the john williams score and it actually sort of integrates star wars into the code in a way that like i don't know that we've had a star this might be the best star wars game whoa there's a lot of star wars games there is so the first like controversial article uh i think that i had was basically like star wars data east kicks star wars stern's ass i think that was like alan probably alan probably agrees i like data east star wars better personally i like how the stern shoots yeah i don't love the rule set of the new one if you ignore the multiplier the game's fun i agree with you i i actually love the stir i i'm a shill for all star wars uh games i think But yes, obviously this one is no exception. Like you get to buy stuff from Watto in it. You're putting together C-3PO. Yeah, you have like story modes that are just, they look awesome. I think that reflective screen, like does it totally work? No, the layout is really simple in this game. I think that hurts it. And I think a lot of the ways in which they were trying to like integrate this screen into it was like, there were some constraints, but also it's a really cool technology. And to me, it's like more compelling even than new stuff like the P3. It's interesting to think that like, I mean, we see with modern releases and we kind of like, you know, everybody scrutinizes everything. We have the internet. We're watching along the way. And you see how hard the licensors can be to work with. And like the fact they were dealing with the Pinball 2000 screen bullshit, trying to figure this out for basically they were working on this concurrently, right? With Revenge from Mars. And you're like, and you have to go get all of that approved by Lucas. Had to be a fuck. the movie wasn't out yet had to be a night when they're developing the game and this technology was built from the ground up in a very very short amount of time like six to nine months i believe i know really yeah like extremely short i'll let i'll tell the listener i'm saying that off the top of my head but it's a very short time frame there's a great pinball documentary called tilt the battle to save pinball that i recommend everyone goes out and finds a copy of and watches if they can because it talks about the pinball 2000 development or just of the whole project it's incredible you know it really is an incredible story the documentary is really well done and i'll link it in the show notes but if you're listening and you want to hear more about pinball 2000 like people you should go check that out you know basically it's a crt mounted in a modified shorter pinball cabinet and it does the old school sort of it projects an image against a mirror so it looks like there's images being projected on a playfield snoop dog hologram style sort of yeah same technology is is that like pikmin's ghost or there's some name for that they did the same shit on uh the ghostbusters premium right yeah for like no reason it looks like a mod every time i see a premium i see that little like ghost view screen i'm like what the fuck is this it's pretty it's a very cool effect there was one game beforehand revenge from mars on this platform for the listener if you've never seen one of these it is a pinball 2000 it was meant to be the first mainstream modular platform for pinball machines so you can like if you're familiar with the modern day p3 like ian was talking about you can swap out the playfields and you could swap out side art it'd be meant for operators you know because home collectors weren't really a big deal yet to swap games in and out as they came out and keep it more cost effective it also had a bunch of really cool technological pieces that we'll have to cover in its own episode about what they tried to do to make it like operator on route friendly which i personally as an operator think is really fucking cool some stuff that we still don't have today that was present in this game which is kind of like what happened man let's come on dude gomez doesn't own the trademark you know he doesn't own the patents yeah so right one of the coolest things just from like a basic operator and i'll explain it to just as a player right like if you go out and play on location right and there's a stuck ball right which happens on a pinball machine all the time the only the operator has the key to the game because that's where the cash box is that's where the money is so you have to open up the coin box to pull the glass out to lift the play field up or whatever to get access to the ball which at a bigger arcade there's probably someone on staff always that has the key but on a normal route sometimes the ball gets stuck somewhere and that's just it until the operator comes by so that game is you know either played with a stuck ball or it's unplayable until the operator comes by this allowed operators to give a separate key to lift the glass off without being able to lift the play field where the coin box was like a valet key for your car yeah you're like okay you can drive the car but you can't get into the glove box and so it's very cool like that's a very cool innovation definitely and there's plenty of others but we want to talk about this game and we want to just sort of hear why you love it so much i don't want to get in the details of the platform that actually is a great segue into what i was going to talk about because there's another kind of technological integration that i think is the best version of this as well which is the use of action buttons integrated into the existing flippers. So anyone who's seen this platform, the buttons are kind of interesting. There's like a normal pinball, you know, like flipper button, but then it kind of, how would you describe this, Alan? Like it sort of fans out. There's basically two buttons right next to each other and they're surrounded. It's sort of like if you're clicking on a computer mouse, how there's two buttons on they're right next to each other and they feel almost like one, but they're separate and they're very easy to access in a way that normal two-button flippers are not and george gomez told us that he used keyboard switches like switches or computer keyboards for this platform and he said that they're super reliable and he was talking about that as another alternative to using leaf switches or opto switches too interesting he told us that when we talked to him about the sopranos episode And I thought that was very interesting. But yeah, it's kind of a lot better than the center lockdown bar. I mean, I guess it doesn't have the flashing light effect. Yeah, which to be fair, I think that's the big reason that they've done the center lockdown bar action buttons is because Gary just wanted a big flashing button that starts the game. And this cabinet art is sick. I know the cabinet art is really good. And I was like, we got to get back to the art because like the play field art is a is a really cool like marriage between that like poster realistic art style along with like heavy outline cartoonish like like colors. It looks like pinball art. It's good. Yes, it's really good. Yeah, absolutely. If we want to get back into the art. Yes, for sure. Because well planned out like you have the good guys on one side, the bad guys on the other. Like it's sort of like the whole machine is sort of like this good versus evil theme to it. And it was cool because, right, Darth Maul was like the most memorable part of that movie. And he's like pretty prominently featured in it. Like they got it right. You know, the fact that they were doing this before the movie came out, they actually hit most of the things that were cool. Like, you know, it's you'll notice like amongst all of the characters prominent on the play field where you're actually looking. Jar Jar Binks is suspiciously missing. Well, he's in the game plenty. He's in the game plenty. Trust me. He is. But I just want to at least point out whoever was doing the play field art was like, nah, fuck that. I am putting Jar Jar on here. But they did put a fucking, they did put the Naboo fighter, right? I don't know if there's a better name for those things. I'm sure there's an actual ship name, but the yellow ships from Naboo or whatever. Yeah, those are sick. The fucking, the coolest ships in Star Wars, in my opinion. I just love. For sure. I love everything on Naboo that has that like art deco futuristic kind of vibe. and the fact that that's like in the center and it's like a screened over giant series of inserts it's cool and i don't know if this is where we include it i kind of think it is but like the screen integration stuff looks good like it yes it looks dated it looks like a video game from you know 1999 or 2000 but it integrates well like it responds instantaneously you know you're seeing it works for me we got to tell the listeners too this is one of those technologies that's really hard to photograph or even videotape you have to play it in person you know like it's it's impressive in person in a way that it'll never be impressive in photographs or streams or whatever or any you know like any other medium like you have to be directly in front of it it truly feels 3d when you play it it's like so there's underwater scenes and it's sort of has this like tiered feel to like how you're how it is projected i don't know it's it's it's a very effective like use of it and then there'll be pod racing scenes where you're just like flying forward you know or fighting ships like they every way that they could sort of like use video in different ways give you different essentially playfields like they did it you know yeah yep that's what i was going to say also is it's weird when you play this like if you play it somewhere in the dark in like in a fairly dark room but it doesn't even have to be that dark because the back half is covered by the screen itself so it's always dark back there you can't really see what the layout looks like which is interesting which is good and bad i remember the first time i played it and you're following inserts they have like those kind of like the big red inserts that lead you to the ramps or whatever but you don't really know that you're hitting ramps you don't really know what the center target looks like or anything so it's kind of a bizarre experience and i remember i played a monster game of this the very first time i saw it was at next level i was like i'm gonna play this episode one and i just absolutely like blew it up because the game's the next level ian if you haven't ever heard us talk about it they're always set up pretty friendly and it was just like one of those days where everything's clicking i played it for probably fucking you know 20 30 minutes or whatever and then i pulled out my phone and i was like i got to see that like and i got the flashlight out because i was like what the fuck is actually going on back there yeah and that's like after just playing it you're like it's really so it's it's a bizarre experience and the center shot's interesting because the center shot is literally just a rubber band stretched across post with a switch behind it and what when you see in the tilt the battle to save pinball documentary they discuss that where you know on a normal play field like this would not work because like we be like what i gonna throw it right into this rubber Like that stupid It doesn look good It doesn have like the kind of like kinetic But that what they talked about is that they tried different targets drops stand tried different things And the thing that felt best was the prototype where they just stretched a rubber band on it and then put a switch back there. And then they were like, oh, this feels the best with the technology over the top of it. Yeah. You know, so as long as you couldn't see it with your eyes, that felt best. Wow. This game, just like Penicillin, like the product of a happy accident that changed the world, you know? Yeah, unfortunately, this one didn't really change. Didn't change it for the better. I think they blew a shit ton of money getting this license. They put a decent amount of money, but mainly a lot of hours in developing Football 2000. And this just did not make much of a splash. I think you bring up a great point, though, which is that a lot of people's problem with this game, that I've heard at least is sort of the rhetoric surrounding it and the closure of Williams and less to do with the game or the platform itself like I think it was probably a bad move for them to design a game like this it seems like a bad business decision but also it's like sort of this like beautiful moment in time where like the dreamers were still in charge and you could do something that was really ambitious and like interesting and like integrated art in a way that hadn't been done yet in pinball and kind of still hasn't been done since so um that that part of it i think is really cool yeah it's kind of like a delorean you're like it's still cool it's it's a piece of shit exactly but it's cool it's still cool yeah exactly and and that's great that is great because obviously there are things about this game that are hard to defend like the layout is we're gonna get to that are you ready to hear yeah we're gonna start reading your reviews and then we'll just take your your reactions to them yeah because i was going to say so if the listener has been playing you know paying close attention we've discussed the art at length and the technology and the vibe but we've stayed a little bit away from from the rules and how it shoots and a lot of what would say you know most would say is the important stuff so uh yeah we'll get into the reviews see what they have to say and then we can uh argue back on what we want to right me and me and alan might sit here on this one a couple more things to empty the clip on my notes here uh one one more positive yoda is in it i just wrote so there's that that's a positive yes yeah that's a i mean i don't know yeah he's not in a lot of other pinball games they got a good yoda on the side art too yeah dude they do that's what i'm saying it's kind of the best the art is undeniable in this game uh wait the end mode is is bad but you get to hear duel of the fates play it whenever i see it so anyway that was those those are good notes dude that's you'll play it whenever you see it is a good sign i mean that's why you're on the show because i only want people that are not you know like just taking the piss it's like you have to like legitimately it's in front of you you have a chance to play it you want to go play it that's like me and nascar where it's like it's not like it is kind of it's kind of a bit at this point on our show how much i love nascar but i'm like every opportunity i have to play nascar i go play and i'm always like that yeah it's kind of rad man yeah it's a good game there's just something about it that clicks and i think like for me yeah it's i don't think there's sort of this well you guys are great to talk about this because you're the biggest on location dudes that i know right like alan your big thing is like put your games on location like let everyone experience them and i i love that and this is a perfect example of a game that is a good location game right like i think so there's not a huge argument to own this unless you love star wars episode one specifically and you want every memorabilia merchandising come i'll show you but dude that's what i mean is like whenever i see it if i see it at an arcade if i see it at a convention which is like a lot of times the places that you'll see these i'll always like try to get to the end you know like i do actually try to like at least play a couple games on it and it is definitely an experience both the pinball pinball 2000 games are just unlike anything else so it's definitely something that if you're new to pinball it's like you've got to go play these things totally and and generationally right guys we're around the same age like this is one of the few pins that we get you know like it's true it's an episode one i was like six or whatever when this came out so it's really early fuzzy memories but i remember my dad being like you guys got to watch all the star wars they're making a new one You guys got to watch this. And he did really, he really enjoyed like the pod racing. He really liked Anakin, the character, but he was just like, and it kind of just made it like a cartoon. But it was interesting because it was just such a big cultural thing. And now we have this time capsule game that captures like that era, good and bad and the movie good and bad. You know, before we get to these bad reviews here, this is what I miss about pinball in this era of pinball in a nutshell is I miss contemporary themes like because they do act as time capsules. What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie? Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now. What happened to then? We passed that. When? Just now. We're at now now. Go back to then. When? Now. Now? Now. I can't. Why? We missed it. When? Just now. When will then be now? Soon. In a way that, like, if you're chasing, oh, wait, I understand why the manufacturers default to nostalgic games from 30 or 40 years ago because they've proven the test of time type of theory yeah you're like oh no ghostbusters is still popular like we should make this or jaws or whatever guys with money like this this era is like you get really cool games like i know ian one of his favorite games is shadow and i'm sure it's not because you love the movie the shadow but it's cool that it exists right because there's no other way it was gonna exist they weren't going to make that game now yeah it's really it's rare to see i'm trying to think of like it's like contemporary games or like licenses are very very rare i always love it when i get them like i love stranger things because i'm like rick and morty like walking dead or when because they made those games stern will still do it sometimes dune dune yeah from barrels yeah yeah dune but it's an established license that one's kind of a cop-out yeah but i mean it's still based on the new movies but yeah it is yeah like exactly like this one is and you're right like this sort of harkens back like when you look at it it makes me think of like those giant pepsi cups you know like that kind of stuff it has that like that era of just like product integration and like us i don't know it it's like so gross to say it but it was like this nice time and right before the bad times you know so it's like it has that feeling my sega godzilla just reminds me of taco bell yeah and you're just like yeah it's like all wrapped up it's like the peak of capitalism being our friends. Such a good era, the end of the 90s. Spaceballs the t-shirt. Spaceballs the coloring book. Spaceballs the lunchbox. Spaceballs the breakfast cereal. Spaceballs the flamethrower. The kids love this one. Unfortunately, though, not everyone has such warm and fuzzy feelings about this game. So we're going to get into some bad reviews. Alan, do you want to kick us off or do you want me to? Maurice says, theme is okay. Sounds good, but this game is so boring and tedious. There are no real nice shots to make. Just the center and two ramps, and that's basically it. Multiball is almost impossible to start since shooting the right lock saucer is almost pure luck. Play one game, maybe two, and move on to a JJP or recent Stern or Spooky, and try a Pinball Brothers Alien remake. The kids love this one. This sounds like it was written by a dealer. I don't know, like a distributor? like what just plugging everything he has in stock he's like yeah maybe abba maybe uh i've got a couple fucking uh queenston back there i was gonna say americans just sitting there like what the fuck did we do like you know like we don't get a rando shout out this guy's review of episode one no he's just just jjp look simplicity isn't a bad thing in a rule set i don't think i don't think so either so to me and like a lot of times really what people view as simple or complex it's a lot more subjective what we're led to believe just by reading like message boards and stuff like that yeah so for me this game is fun does it show you what to do and are there about like it is it's a fan layout so already right there right like there there's a limitation to it but yeah i don't know to say there are no satisfying shots is stupid like that is just straight up not true i think the orbits are fun like doing the c-3po shot and there's a weird because this game is like three inches shorter i think it's three is it three inches right that's about right yeah i knew asking the guys who corrected me on the like lightning flippers or whatever the gap in in the flipper thing they would know yeah okay i think it's like three inches shorter but it does kind of play when they're set up faster they're better and that's true for games in general but that's definitely true for these games if it's rocking and going fast it actually feels sort of exuberant to play a game with like very simple shots like this yeah because you can actually keep it flowing like that's what flow means yeah exactly yeah that's literally what flow means if you're like playing it fast and you're just like having a good time and you're not constantly trapping up and you're not playing a shitty floaty copy it's like this game does rip because it's got like real smooth fast return ramps and stuff right until they get interrupted and that's how they wanted you to play it so yeah like it not like a fucking nerd but okay next review speaking of uh simplicity here one of the most consistent contributors to our dying this hell episodes caucasian two-step he's got an essay for you he's got an essay it's a big one so you don't take notes while i read it uh he says star wars episode one is a prime example of a simple play field that could have been made better with a more comprehensive rule set. The pros. The game looks and sounds great. The animations and theme with the modes is exceptionally well done. Kevin O'Connor did a great job with the team on Backglass, Playfield, and the cabinet on this one. The execution of the theme in the PEN 2000 tech is a testament to what creative people can do. Considering that the entire platform was in development when the game was made makes this title even more impressive. Ambitious would be the best single word to describe this deck. The cons. The Playfield has so little to do on it other than shoot the center bank. Rules are an afterthought. Most modes are bash the same shots that you hit to start the modes. Many wizard modes are gimmies. The best shots on the table are the spinner and ramp shots, but without real spinners. So you get to shoot the spinners and bash the center target, which is in the dead center of the play field. It's nearly half the width of the game. Over and over and over, snooze. The skill shot takes nominal skill to hit. multiball happens more by chance than skill from the saucer locks. lock one lock two lock three the takeaway a great game for star wars fans and the kitties who think jar jar is way cool not so great for the pinball players cute i know these space bums are all alike if you're going to buy pin 2000 get a revenge from mars it's a damn shame that this was the last game ever produced by bally williams the gameplay on this deck blows donkeys she's gone from suck to blow there was so much that could have been done with this game and title it just feels like this game was slapped together by the marketing team not a pinball designer ranks just slightly ahead of champion pub in my book if you want to play pinball you want to play pinball play pinball if you want to watch a star wars movie watch star wars movie this deck is a compromise on both aspects of this game and like most compromises in design lacks the strength of either aspect of the original parts j-pop's worst game well first off let me just say that the vibe of uh caucasian two-step is sort of when i would come home and my parents would sort of like one would start to yell at me and then the other one would kind of like catch the vibe and then like they'd whip each other into a frenzy that was kind of the vibe of that where he actually start he started that totally very positive you know he was like caucasian two-step's a man of nuance he's got he contains multitudes his reviews are very entertaining absolutely no it took it took me for a ride for sure emotionally but i what do you think about without real spinners ian can you speak about that that is fair so yeah he is talking about the spinners are on the screen and are like digital i don't even understand alan you're gonna have to tell me how these work yeah you basically rip a shot and it has like a a digital spinner on the screen it's got to have a couple optos that are judging something right yeah i would imagine the speed of it i would imagine it's too it's just made up like the checkpoint speedometer if you've ever played that it could be gimmicked it could just be like it's either probably a rollover switch or it passes through an opto switch and then it cues the animation but it has literally nothing to do with how hard you hit the shot like a normal spinner i would love if that's the case if it's just made up and it's like every hit is a rip yeah yeah but guys if we're making stuff up for this game let's make it up like positive in my favor not that we're you know that it's shittier like i'm like well yeah it's probably this we're speculating we don't know but we do suspect yeah i i look yeah that is that's fair but you think the center bash whatever target is too big no because in the moment this is what i'm saying it's all about the speed of the game upon which you're playing right like i think speed is key to this like if you have it set up boring, it's gonna play boring. Like, you're right, there is nothing to save this game. This game is not like Kong, where there's like a bunch of like separate areas even to like sort of explore. You have your one area, but you're really just playing through the story. Like, something that he says as a negative, I'd use a positive. Like, I really like the theme integration into this game, and the fact that you can get to the end of it. If you're a good pinball player, honestly, you could probably do it in the first time you play it or the second time you play it. it's fun as fuck to do it you know like it actually is and and and you you get the music like i said you get everything that you want all this stuff that like a lot of people complain about not getting today yeah they're not getting today yeah there there is so much of that in this game there's a we haven't even talked about this that there is a lightsaber in the game that oh you know there's a full lightsaber in the game that's like enough to justify whatever the price you know no i'm not saying that and i'm not trying to even size sidestep this question but when we talk about the center shot is it easy yes but is it easy when you need to hit it and it's a thousand miles an hour and you've spelled out jedi and you're on the last you know it's a dangerous return yeah that's true it's a dangerous center shot and it can be kind of jank but sometimes the jank is is nice actually they're like so yeah all right well candy flip says now i understand why this was the last game manufactured by williams industries it stunk i love pinball and video games but to me this is a marriage made in hell the video totally intrudes on the pinball and i ended up liking neither of the mixed elements equally a great license naturally but i'd rather play empire strikes back than this dud and you you always right he referring to a little known Hankin an Australian company that made an Empire Strikes Back game in the 70s they sold like 200 units of them they very rare it a very plain game but it actually a very cool looking game because it's got look cool it's got cool it's got vader all over it and it's red it's got the infinity mirror on it like it's fucking it's pretty rad like like i'd rather play that than like a lot of games yeah that's what i'm saying is like they didn't end with the sick burn they thought they did it's like i would rather play this super rare sick game yeah this this game do you think that you think the video intrudes upon the pinball no i mean it does if you're asking me does it obscure uh parts of the playfield yes in a way that's cool like in a way that made you curious enough to like explore what was actually going on back there after you shot it you know, like, yeah, I mean, upper playfields obscure play, you know, obscure pinball and lots of companies still do that. Stern puts them on a lot of their premiums. Spooky made a lot of games with upper playfields, you know, like, yeah, there's a lot of well-loved games that have upper playfields and the same can be said, it obscures the shot underneath a lot. Yeah. I just don't think we can both have the criticism really that it's like, oh, this is like so easy to shoot. And it's like, like we got to like make some choices here about what our criticisms of this game are because it can't be both that it's too easy and that you can't see that your shots being returned like you know so what like it seems like it's not hurting anybody you know so yeah i i think it's like it's so funny to me that someone would see that and be like it's obscuring the play field rather than this is a magical tour through star wars that we're getting the pinball version right like yeah wow i'm in a point i am the keeper of a greater imagine i'm in a pod racer right now zooming through and the pinball is me like winning the pod race like oh gross i can't see the ball return like get real next delu says star wars fanboys tend to hate episode one the most maybe williams just wanted fanboys to hate the pin version as well who is he he's an asshole sir i know that what's his name that is his name sir asshole major asshole and his cousin he's an asshole too sir gun is made first class philip asshole that's the review that's the whole review what a what an edge lord uh yeah i i cool yeah williams made a bad game on purpose they were like we don't want anyone to like this that's like a crazy amazing conspiracy in a way drs fmd says i can't stand all the sci-fi theme stuff sometimes i can overlook it if the gameplay is great but in this case it's not if i had a star wars episode one i'd convert it to a revenge from mars how many assholes we got on this ship anyhow which one would say is another science fiction theme right you can't stand the science fiction stuff i just like yeah you're like okay dude imagine being the last guy in the world who doesn't like science fiction that is so wild it is okay the one thing that i'll say is that did make me think i was like oh like we want normal guy games like get up and go to work game but actually i would totally play that yeah go to work guy game would be a good time yeah for sure get up and go to work game that's the title uh but i mean that that again this guy has a problem with society he doesn't have a problem with this game so that you know next reviews from glenn peters i love glenn always puts his legal name on shit very funny to me so at last we meet for the first time for the last time glenn peters says this machine doesn't do any justice to pinball nor video either for that matter just a horrible union of two great but clearly separate genres now keep in mind that i'm not against a pinball machine having a video mode on the display if that's what the case may be. But here you're doing a disservice to both. It's a shame a company like Williams had to go out of the pinball business like this after producing so many timeless classics. Well, boys, it's a very lovely ship. I think you should go down with it. See, don't you feel like a lot of these reviews are written before they ever play the game because they know this was the last game of Williams? I think people's perception of the movie and the fact this was the last game really preemptively sours. And they changed what pinball was. Yeah. So you're doing three things where you're asking, it's the same thing like you brought up with the P3. This was the proto P3. And in the same way that the community at large is slow to adopt the P3 and accept it as real pinball, this is the same thing. Where people are like, there are some people that will just, no matter what they were never gonna like this marriage of the two things i think it's also difficult for i don't i assume most of our listeners are probably as old as me it's hard to understate how angry people were about episode one if you ever go back and look at message boards they're like threatening to fucking like kill the kid in it and everything like yeah people were mad and people carried that resentment for a long time nowadays like zoomers have kind of like reclaimed the the prequel trilogies right and it's kind of become like this fun thing and like even episode one with its jar jar ness is like a little bit you know classic almost at this point the episode three is kind of sick i'll say that forever like episode three is actually good but but like this movie it's like people fucking hated it and i really think it's gonna be it's gonna be kind of like years and years from now reading reviews about like harry potter and you're gonna have a whole bunch of reviews that are mixed in with people's personal feelings about like jk rowling and the license and stuff not the game objectively yeah so that's gonna be yeah it's weird looking back at this one so that's what i mean is like a lot of these reviews like do you have that in there and i don't fault them for it and you're alan that was like a really good point to bring up about like slow to adopt because i think for me if this was like if pinball had changed to only being this of course i would be pissed off as well right like And so maybe in the moment when people are feeling that, they're like, is this what pinball is going to be now? Because fuck that. But we know that it's not. It's just like one flavor of pinball amidst a billion flavors. The thing is, is like two years before this game, they were making Medieval Madness, you know? And so then it's this. And then people are like, what? And then Gary Stern is like, well, but I've got South Park. And pinball fans are like, yeah, but this kind of sucks. Like, you know what I mean? Sorry to Marcus who came on the show. I'm still not sold on South Park as a game, but, you know. It's tough. It's a tough one. But, you know, it's like, it's just a challenge, man. We pinball people are passionate, you know, and not every game is for every person, which is why we do this segment in the first place, is to try to throw some shine on some games that nobody talks about. And if they do talk about, they talk about in a very condescending and shitty way. i i have like fallen victim to that or like i have been the perpetrator of those things for other games as well so like totally like fair is fair but yeah man i think that i i always use that sort of analogy of that pinball taste is like an ice cream taste like some days i want one thing some days i want something else even just me right on top of everyone else has their own palates as well so um yeah i i think that just any any time when we're looking at these reviews that to me just like i just your your critiques would mean more if they didn't mention that it was like this is the reason that you know williams died like yeah yeah so well mr guava says what a waste of pinball parts i tried to be open-minded but this game just did not feel at all like pinball i could not see what to shoot for as it was all obscured by the video screen so what's the point i felt frustrated the whole time it scores okay on art and audio but in games so lacking in gameplay that's really beside the point no no no no no it's not what i want yeah i mean welfare is fair they didn't mention that it was the death of williams so you know yeah it's true he seems lukewarm on it it just you know he's like i don't like the way the game plays but art and audio is good you know i think that's it i think it's a totally fair critique if i'm like being honest like if i'm not just like trying to blindly defend this game is like you know they they didn't like it so that who am i you know fair sorry sorry buddy next next review is from goat dan he says the pinball 2000 series had a lot of potential but i don't think it showed at all with the two games that were released wizard blocks would have been amazing um for the listener quick aside, Wizard Blocks was the unreleased Pat Lawler game. There's a couple prototypes. You can look up pictures if you're curious. Oh, that's cool. Star Wars was not. Not amazing, that is. The video integration was neat, but the action was very, very similar, and to make the video appear right, you could see almost nothing on the upper playfield, which made playing this game tough. Ball strains seemed to happen really easily. Games can be very short. I prefer Revenge from Mars by far over Star Wars, although I don't find either to have used the technology very well at all. Sorry, sir. Doing my best. No, I was just going to say, that's an interesting review because this is the first time I think we've seen someone hype up Pinball 2000 and be like, dude, these games, they didn't deliver on my massive expectations for Pinball 2000. And that's fair, right? Yeah, I agree. I think it's kind of like, like I just told Alex, like for me, the delivery of Insider Connect only happened on Dungeons & Dragons. the rest of it to me as a player myself personally it was inconsequential inconsequential to me i didn't care at all i didn't have an account but dungeons and dragons with the carryover progress was the first time and i know he had done it with some characters in venom and with turtles but not not to a point where i cared dnd where i'm like oh this is the technology like they're using it how you envision they could use it you know totally to its fullest potential and that these look and and that is a valid like there's almost a wistfulness to this review it's not like totally trashing it in a way that's like it's bad it's like damn we see what it could have been right like you see the vision of it and i think that where that is i i think that's a valid criticism but i also see the sweet side of that bittersweet thing right like like playing this thing is you are playing a relic you're playing like what i said at the beginning this was such an ambitious project something so cool and different that they were trying to really revolutionize pinball you know and is it a hundred percent a success no but does that make it a failure i don't think it does no and honestly they sold a lot of units and as much as joe cam and kyle likes to proudly declare that his game south park killed uh you know williams williams was going into the gambling business to make real money it was south park was inconsequential they sold way less south parks than they did star wars episode one and way less than they sold of revenge from mars chrome nightmare says i really hated this pin i don't know what to say other than it wasn't a pin i understand and appreciate the tech but i just couldn't get into the gameplay at all i would only play it if there were no other pins in the establishment i hate yogurt even with strawberries the lowest praise you can give yeah no other pins he said this is the worst that's it i'm not gonna in the spirit of this show i'm not gonna sling mud on any other pins you know no no no you have to now well i'm just saying there there are plenty of pins that i would not want to play look your highness it's not that we're afraid far from it time warp instead of uh that's right time warps a banana flipper one with like a flippers like eight pops but two banana flippers and fucking nothing to do yeah yeah bone busters personally for me i don't you guys might like it i get it but you know i like bone busters yeah i've never played a bone buster yeah i know it's fun all these motherfucking hipsters like bone busters that's what i mean it's a hipster game they're just busting your bones dude well that's what i'm saying it's like it's alan it's jack danger it's kyle spitteri and the thing is it's the same thing as like guys who listen to like a ton of music that's like oh now i want to get into like sonic youth and i want to get into like stuff that almost sounds bad in some ways you know it's like those are the kind of people you're like i'm gonna go this bone busters is the captain beef heart of pins that's what you're saying exactly yes a hundred percent that is what bone busters you're like it's fun because it's shitty we're got leave guys dude that's the thing we're just got leave guys well but that that one to me especially is just like kind of heinous because it has the weird like the returns the return on it i just really don't enjoy but like you can die just not paying attention for a half second you know like it's it's really an unforgiving game that's how pinball should be but okay we're going on we're moving on we're moving on from bone busters we're done busting your okay yeah but anyway bone buster sucks and i would way rather play this game than bone buster so next okay silver ball gamer says this game just sucks, honestly. They could have done so much better with the theme, it just fell apart. I'm not even a fan of episode one. Okay, pros. Artwork and animations are well done, and the theme itself, while still being episode one, could be excellent for a pinball machine. Cons. Dictionary definition of a one-shot game, where the one shot is extremely deadly, yet the only thing to go for. The playfield lighting is poor, it makes the game look extremely dim. Other than the center shot, there are two ramps with strange fake digital spinners, two scoops that have little purpose other than to get multiball, and a left loop. Out of all of those shots, only the ramps seem to have much of a bearing. Goal of the game is to get four modes, wizard mode, advanced rank, repeat, making the game very tedious. The game killed off Bally Williams for good, which is just sad. They should have gone off with a bang. evidently the notorious gangster became locked in his car and ate himself to death overall just a lousy game and not one i have any interest in playing again if you're going to play a pinball 2000 game stick with revenge from mars still isn't that great and it's drastically inferior to attack from mars but it's a much better game than phantom menace geez louise well that was the one that was the true essay but i mean like they should have gone out with a bang i love that line And it's like, like they have this weird, uh, they're keeping, they're keeping bullets in the, in the barrel, dude. They're not keeping up chamber. They're not going to shoot those bullets. They weren't, they weren't Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid just fucking jumping off the cliff. They're like, why didn't you make a good game for your last one? And you're like, do you think they didn't try? Also, this person said, I'm not even a Star Wars fan as like a point. What was that point? Like, I'm not, yeah, okay, so this game is not for you. He not even a fan but he thinks they should have done better with the episode one Oh got it He saying i don even get this license but let me just stick my nose in yeah that doesn sound like someone totally online are you all right sir also like he like oh the scoops you just get a multiball it's like he's like he's just derisively describing how a game plays like you could do that with literally any game right you're like oh godzilla you shoot up one stupid ramp or two stupid rams then you hit a stupid scoop like so fucking boring like yeah if you if you describe a game like that it's gonna sound shitty so the thing about these reviews always is that you can make any game in the world sound shitty if that's like your goal well the other thing too that you got to realize about pinball is like every game is shitty to somebody that totally i mean we're talking about right now where the the theme of the show is every game is good to somebody but conversely we i'm sure we all personally have very personally held strong opinions about extremely popular games you know i know i have them i know waterboy has them i'm sure you have them ian no i like all definitely but it's like we all have them so it's funny but yeah when you feel when you get that moment where you feel it like and then you get online and you start running your mouth dude that was our first this is our ellen this is our like origin story because i was just being a little shit writing about whitewater and you were like yo what the fuck whitewater is actually good i was like who the fuck are you you know like uh that was that's like our origin story it's like it's like this exact thing it was just me being a little shit it was me being this exact guy uh you know we all have those things i'm gonna say i i don't even whitewater raft and even I know they didn't get this right. I've never seen Bigfoot before, but I know he doesn't look like that. Guy Montag 451 says, only John Papadiuk game that I feel really missed the mark. It just doesn't play as a good pinball. It's very impressive from a design aspect, but it feels three steps back from Revenge from Mars when it really needed to elevate the platform by leaps and bounds. play feel is super boring with only one worthwhile shot straight up the middle wide as a house don't worry john and company i still got love for you just not this game that review was written by me 14 years ago dude wow that's i was gonna i was about to compliment that review for sort of having this like sweetness to it so there you go i don't know if i still feel that way i haven't played it a lot since just sporadically but i always keep my reviews the same for the not only this show but just like i like to look back on what i thought about a game back then you know and and really that you made the best point of the night which is you know like i think if this is the worst john papadute game like say what you will about that guy but like he made good games you know you made very interesting games for sure like yeah that's that's what that's what i'm saying is like so like this being the worst of the papaduke lot is like also not the sick burn that maybe you know yeah as you were writing that yeah but i was gonna i was gonna say knowing current alan very well and not this weird 15 year ago alan is there a single fucking papaduke game you like now i like i like the is there i like theater of magic and i like uh tales of the rabian knights a lot okay i think that they you know i've never seen you play any well we don't have a theater of magic anymore because we sold it but we have a we have a we're met for raving nights which i really like there's some scoring exploits on those games which are a little bit disappointing but you know the game itself is super fun and i count his games in particular whether it's dog soccer theater magic probably this especially if you're a star wars fan and uh tales as great gateway games like he made gateway games that are like they give you they make you feel cool you're playing the game you're kind of just slapping a ball around in it. The game will do something cool. Everybody does like hitting shots in World Cup soccer. It feels good. That is that's a very apt way to describe these games. And I think that there is value in those games. Right. And there's even value in playing them as a better player sometimes. Like for me, pinball is a very meditative experience. I love Kong and I love being locked in all the time. But also sometimes it is nice to have something like this where I'm going to just be like totally reacting and not having to like plan a run of shots or thinking about my comboing yeah and stuff like stuff like that so it is just it sort of like scratches that itch and it and that is a beginner's itch as well i would say i doubt anyone has ever gotten mad because they fucked up like a multiball mode stack while they're playing episode one yeah exactly right you know i mean you're like it's a different type of game kid okay moving on from moving on from alan's review though pinball craze says was hoping for drain so i could move on from it absolute turd that's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage wow it's like the first time you hear someone being like i don't like i didn't drain soon enough amazing it's like what do people want anymore my god this this man's experiencing free pinball he's he's out there in the world assuming you know he doesn't own this game he's at an arcade or at a show somewhere and he's getting to play all this pinball one game right feeling amazing like alan just said and he's he goes home to complain about it think about a person like that whether they're right or not like him calling it a turd would you rather live in their world or would you rather live in my world right where it's like like magical where it's magical yeah okay next next one from uh one taste says contender for the worst pinball ever made wise men for sure wise guys you mean what do they know and it has jar jar binks nice one george lucas what's the matter colonel sanders chicken i mean that's a great review nice one george lucas like it was george lucas is fucking george lucas review has an implied like sack tap at the end of it just like whop them dorks you have the ring and i see your schwartz is as big as mine now let's see how well you handle it all right lupin says this is a true disaster the worst pinball in history forget the 3d animation which is boring as hell got good sound quality fun quotes but who cares stay far far away from this turd even worse than revenge from mars also a terrific turd come back you fat bearded bitch also a terrific turd terrific this person's rating system is convoluted uh it doesn't make sense i don't know if a terrific turn what direction that's supposed to go so right there already shaky ground and again like not a very constructive this you know it's it's just pure haterade yeah they're just exactly it's just pure haterade yeah yeah that's it okay mr gone says pin 2000 there was so much that could be done with this platform just see wizard blocks but they made this who dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the everlasting know-it-all subtitle could have been never leave John Papadiuk alone to do anything i've taken it to every wise man in the universe nobody could tell me what it means oh my god uh all on John Papadiuk it's kind of a valid knowing what seeing what we've done since then yeah the guy does seem to be fairly inept yes of course i've heard the same room with myself yeah yeah and that's an yeah i mean that's 10 out of 10 review i will say this has been for me personally this has been a huge advertisement to to see wizard blocks wizard blocks is neat if you go yeah wizard blocks is cool it's a white wood you can but you can find like pictures and videos and stuff and it's it's interesting and so the the video was actually made like the videos integrated into the white wood yeah it was a weird little wacky fucking like jack-in-the-box jumping around cubes and stuff you'll see you'll see it and you'll be like what the fuck is this is that texas pinball fest one year unfortunately i don't think it gets brought to shows every year yes like i think it should is it along with like a bunch of like bally williams prototypes and stuff which he should open a fucking museum put it out on location put this shit out the good news is all these guys are going to be dying of heart disease in the next 10 years so hopefully you know they're starting to drop now and it's only going to get worse so or better depending on how you look at it. So I think they might get out there and at a reasonable price. All right, final review. V. Monroe says, played it once at the pinball office in the UK. Honestly, this is just comically awful. It's got about one shot and way too many modes involving the excreble Jar Jar Binks. Keep firing, assholes! One mode involving Jar Jar Binks would be enough. And a mode about shooting Jar Jar in the foot was more than enough oh no no stupid you got it much too high one play was plenty if you want a video slash pinball combo game revenge for mars is way better oh look at that you fell for that too i can't believe it man in summary absolutely appalling how dare you you insolent peasant damn like that that's what i mean is like the ending is it goes harder than the rest of the combined yeah you're like it sounds like they didn't like you as a writer can appreciate it that's what you're saying you're like you the writer and you you're like damn that's pretty hard okay yeah you know they they they took swings for it so like that that's that's great and also like again revenge from mars is kind of fun revenge from mars is fun yeah it it like has this weird like sense of humor to it that is completely lost in pinball at this point like very uh i mean some of it is like actually quite probably offensive at this point it's amazing so i'll again like you you'll never get me when you're like this game's way better because usually i'm gonna be like i like that game you're like i like it too yeah exactly yeah it's like like cool like you can have both yeah we can like both of these games people gotta stop look dude so alan this is something good about you that i've always appreciated it's like you do have the superpower to see the good in most games and like i think we need to cultivate that as an attitude rather than like like you should see it as a skill that you can see the good in a game where someone else can't you know what i mean like that's actually that's a skill on your end it's not a weakness in your end that you're like a stupid guy who's like easily entertained where this brilliant man who didn't like you know a simple pinball 2000 game so like you know that's that's that's on set oh Oh, shit. There goes the planet. Just what you said, Ian. It's like I choose to see the magic in the world. Like, where it's like, for me, there are definitely games that I don't have fun playing, so I don't. And then I don't want to talk about them. Really? I mean, that's really it, dude. Like, it's like, I don't want to talk about the games I don't like. I'd rather talk about the games I do like. That's why Alan doesn't let us talk about new games on the show. Some new games, but yeah. No, I do like new games. you do and you and and you figure out this is something i brought up in in the article um sort of about y'all but or at least featuring y'all was that you figured out a way to make modern games still work for you you know what i mean like like you guys set up your moderns in interesting fun ways where it's like it's different yeah it just plays totally different i think yeah that's i mean so for me it's just about run time like the biggest thing to me is not i see good in every game i just i have a lot of fun for a set amount of time and then i want to i want to move on or you know like i don't love like being stuck in like a 30 40 minute game but i understand that other people do so you know for me fun when it happens like once and that's the yeah yeah a lot of this stuff is it's like well this game is meant to be on location like ian was saying earlier yeah you're like it's like an experience playing it on location and if you have a good game you feel like lucky like if you were constantly playing this thing you get those shots absolutely dialed you're just hearing fucking jar jar call outs for like 20 minutes straight you're gonna lose your mind yeah but that's not the intention of the game and you kind of have to keep that in a like yeah we live in a weird world now where it's completely flopped where it's like well it's like me with this fucking sega godzilla just sitting right here and it's like i i still like the game a lot i never noticed how dog shit and repetitive the music was until i had it in my house yeah dude i i even got that problem with the shadow that's why i don't have it in my house was it was like i just didn't want to hear this it makes you appreciate how hard they work on sound design now and music and everything for sure because you're like yeah yeah well we want to thank you ian from coming on the episode of the wedgehead pinball podcast for all the listeners out there i'm sure you already know ian jacobi editor-in-chief founder of nudge magazine he also has his own podcast the nudge pinball podcast with his buddy and co-host shane told of the band silverstein that you can check out on all podcast platforms yeah they got some good shit they got some good episodes coming out soon now we don't have to pay him the million we can keep it for ourselves check that out check out nudge magazine buy some magazines follow ian if you do not already for some cool pinball content, cool photography, all analog, no AI artwork anywhere. Yet. Nope. Zero. Never. We'll never, never. Which we will end this episode, but I appreciate the hell out of that because I feel the same fucking way. Like, it's so sick of that shit. But I want to thank the listener for listening to another episode of the Wedgehead Pinball Podcast. I implore everyone to try and use the pinball map and try and find one of these Star Wars Episode 1. Go in, play it. Go and play it with the mindset that it's good, not that it's bad, and see if you can't come around on it. Just a positive attitude is usually all you need to enjoy a game of pinball, because pinball is inherently fun. Well, I'm none of that, mister. So until next time, everybody, good luck. Don't suck. Thank you. Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?

_(Acquisition: groq_whisper, Enrichment: v3)_

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*Exported from Journalist Tool on 2026-04-13 | Item ID: 8c3ac6fb-2754-4a97-bdf9-57449d29bccb*