# HEAVY METAL MELTDOWN! #Pinball **Source:** Dead Flip **Type:** video **Published:** 2017-03-05 **Duration:** 177m 20s **Beat:** Pinball **URL:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5uG4kBAMyQ --- ## Analysis Dead Flip streams gameplay of Heavy Metal Meltdown, a classic Williams pinball machine at Logan Arcade in Chicago. The host (Jack Danger) provides entertaining commentary on the game's unique features, including shot targets and multiball mechanics, while interacting with chat, accepting donations/subscriptions, and discussing upcoming streaming plans including Alien (Heighway) in Madison, Wisconsin and Jetsons at another location. ### Key Claims - [HIGH] Stern AC/DC Premium Vault Edition pinball machine is now four years old — _Direct statement during gameplay: 'Youth of trivia, Stern AC/DC (Premium) pinball machine is now four years old. Holy shit.'_ - [HIGH] Jetsons pinball was produced by Spooky Pinball but is not a Spooky Pinball game; same with Domino's — _Jack states: 'The Jetsons game was produced by Spooky Pinball. It is not a Spooky Pinball game. Same thing with Domino's. Produced by Spooky Pinball, not a Spooky Pinball game.'_ - [HIGH] Spooky Pinball's third pinball machine is yet to be announced — _Jack directly states: 'Spooky Pinball's third pinball machine is yet to be announced.'_ - [MEDIUM] Jetsons pricing was determined by The Pinball Company (not Spooky Pinball) — _Jack states: 'So, the price and all that stuff of Jetsons was determined by Pinball... I forget the name of the company. The Pinball Company, I think is their name.'_ - [HIGH] Jack plans to stream Alien (Heighway Pinball) on Monday in Madison, Wisconsin with the Madison Pinball League — _Repeated multiple times: 'Monday I'm going to be streaming Alien. I'm driving all the way out to Madison, Wisconsin to hang out with the Madison Pinball League.'_ ### Notable Quotes > "There's the lane that feeds to the flippers, but there's chat's targets, which I am Blackwater 100% stealing. You're stealing them. The idea." > — **Jack Danger**, ~mid-stream > _Identifies a unique game mechanic (shot targets) from Heavy Metal Meltdown that he intends to incorporate into his own pinball design work_ > "Spooky Pinball's third pinball machine is yet to be announced." > — **Jack Danger**, ~mid-stream > _Confirms status of Spooky Pinball's unreleased third title_ > "Sketch targets are going on the next pinball machine we design, ladies and gentlemen. Remind me. Someone type that in the design doc right now." > — **Jack Danger**, ~late stream > _Indicates Jack is actively designing a pinball machine and making design decisions based on Heavy Metal Meltdown's features_ > "The Jetsons game was produced by Spooky Pinball. It is not a Spooky Pinball game. Same thing with Domino's. Produced by Spooky Pinball, not a Spooky Pinball game." > — **Jack Danger**, ~mid-stream > _Clarifies manufacturing relationship: Spooky Pinball produced but did not publish these games_ > "I'm driving all the way out to Madison, Wisconsin to hang out with the Madison Pinball League. They're beating them. I know. I'm not going to Arcade Pinball Expo in Louisville because my mom's going to be in Chicago." > — **Jack Danger**, ~late stream > _Announces streaming plans and personal scheduling affecting convention attendance_ ### Entities | Name | Type | Context | |------|------|---------| | Jack Danger | person | Host of Dead Flip stream; pinball designer actively working on custom machines; competitive player; provides entertaining gameplay commentary | | Heavy Metal Meltdown | game | Classic Williams pinball machine; subject of this stream; features shot targets, multiball mechanics, loud sound design; Jack identifies unique features for incorporation into own designs | | Logan Arcade | organization | Chicago-based arcade venue hosting this stream; features multiple pinball machines including Heavy Metal Meltdown, Junkyard, Stargate, Embryon, and others | | Alien | game | Heighway Pinball machine that Jack plans to stream on Monday in Madison, Wisconsin; confirmed upcoming streaming event | | Jetsons | game | Pinball machine produced by Spooky Pinball but published by The Pinball Company; Jack mentions plans to potentially stream this game | | Spooky Pinball | company | Pinball manufacturer that produced Jetsons and Domino's games; third unreleased pinball machine announced status unknown | | Madison Pinball League | organization | Wisconsin-based pinball league/community that Jack will visit to stream Alien on Monday | | The Pinball Company | company | Publisher/distributor that determined pricing for Jetsons pinball machine | | Heighway Pinball | company | Manufacturer of Alien pinball machine | | Arcade Pinball Expo Louisville | event | Major pinball convention that Jack is not attending due to family obligations | | Crystal | person | Arcade staff member who checked/maintained Heavy Metal Meltdown before stream; mentioned throughout for game maintenance and social interaction | | Matt Scott Demasi | person | Custom pinball machine builder; Jack mentions attending to stream his machine on Friday; enthusiastic about his work | | Embryon | game | Pinball machine at Logan Arcade; Jack mentions someone recently purchased one | | Wisemouth | person | Pinside user (Hilton Jones); Jack planning to meet in Madison for Alien streaming | ### Topics - **Primary:** Heavy Metal Meltdown gameplay and mechanics, Upcoming streaming events and location - **Secondary:** Spooky Pinball manufacturing and game status, Custom pinball machine design, Chicago pinball community and venues, Streamer interaction with chat and donation mechanics, Pinball hardware features and modifications - **Mentioned:** Malort (Chicago beverage) culture ### Sentiment **Positive** (0.82) — Host is enthusiastic and entertaining about the game, appreciative of chat donations/subscriptions, excited about upcoming streaming plans. Casual banter with co-host and frequent positive reactions to gameplay moments. Some mild frustration with game difficulty or mechanics (dropped targets) but overall very positive tone. ### Signals - **[event_signal]** Jack planning multi-location streaming tour hitting Madison, Wisconsin and other venues (confidence: high) — Jack confirms: 'Monday I'm going to be streaming Alien. I'm driving all the way out to Madison, Wisconsin to hang out with the Madison Pinball League.' - **[design_philosophy]** Jack Danger is actively designing a pinball machine and incorporating specific mechanics (shot targets/sketch targets) discovered during gameplay (confidence: high) — Jack states: 'Sketch targets are going on the next pinball machine we design, ladies and gentlemen. Remind me. Someone type that in the design doc right now.' - **[leak_detection]** Jack mentions that new code just went on Aerosmith and references Batman as a secret, then immediately self-corrects and asks to keep Batman information confidential (confidence: medium) — Jack states: 'I heard that some new code just went on it and Batman... Actually, the Batman thing I think is a secret. Never mind. Forget what I said about Batman. Are we good? Are we good?' - **[manufacturing_signal]** Clarification on Spooky Pinball's role: produces games for external publishers rather than publishing their own games (confidence: high) — Jack explains: 'The Jetsons game was produced by Spooky Pinball. It is not a Spooky Pinball game. Same thing with Domino's. Produced by Spooky Pinball, not a Spooky Pinball game.' - **[product_strategy]** Spooky Pinball's third pinball machine status is officially unannounced (confidence: high) — Jack directly confirms: 'Spooky Pinball's third pinball machine is yet to be announced.' --- ## Transcript I sure hope not. New York City. New York City. Hey, bud. Yeah, you too, brother. Alright. EWD. Making sure we are on the... Dude, table flipping. What the hell? What the hell? Their health is a disease when people come to see them, they really are a scream to the air. Metal! Heavy Metal Meltdown? Is that a... Is that a moan? Or is that a wailing guitar? We'll never know. Whoa. Oh, I leaned on the start button. Tater, holy sh... Tater, you sexy son of a gun. I love you, buddy. Thank you, brother. There's the rain. You're nuts, dude. Thank you, Tater Salad. How you doing, brother? We're going to be playing Heavy Metal Meltdown, ladies and gentlemen. And this game is unique. We're back at Logan Arcade again today, and we will be also maybe tomorrow. You dirty bird. Flip the butt. Something unique I found on this game that I have not seen before but we're definitely going to steal is this game has Shat's targets. The I farted pin. Dude, I love this pin. I farted good. I'm just going to be pounding some PBRs tonight. Tell PBR to get over here. Thanks again for those 50-bits, Tager Salad. I appreciate it, man. Man, the autohosts are rolling in. Joel Reeves, seven months in a row. Woo-hoo! Love Taser Pinball. Joel, thank you for maintaining your membership to the league. You're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, put some butts up if you could. Show some love, Joel. Let's get that stuff taken care of, man. You know what I'm saying? I'm ready. I'm ready to go. Before I switch the game over and play, I would like to get another beer. I gotta get you some dead flip pins. Wait, I gotta get you some dead flip pins. Oh yeah, scary, totally. You made some. I forgot that. If any of you guys... I guess it's not an open invitation. Never mind. I was going to say, I'm going to be in Madison, Wisconsin on Monday streaming Alien from Highway Pinball. And it's going to be dope. Oh. Crystal's here. So, Crystal was the one that checked this game before we got to play it, So if anything's wrong, she screwed up. The left wing flutters sometimes. I had to replace it with my two minutes. It flutters. She flutters. I'm fluttering right now. That's because I'm here. Because we both look so good on camera. Crustle. Crustle. Yeah, it's Crustle. Grub got Master Jack. What's up, Dark? Good to see you, buddy. Do you want in on this? Yeah. Why don't you start us off? Okay. Let me just say hello. I'm just going to roll this game. I am going to roll this game for sure. Good evening, Pinheads, and welcome back to Deadfoot Pinball. Today is Wednesday. We're spending essentially all week here at Logan Arcade trying to play the random games that no one really gets to see. It's a nice heavy metal meltdown. We're going to play this for a bit, and if all goes well, we're going to switch over and play some Mouse and Around. I love you, and let's play some pinball. Papa TV, thank you for the host. Okay. Soft ones. Too soft. Is there a reason you soft-plunged it? I just lacked the juice. How fast can Jet Flip break this cake? Wait for it. I was trying to open that power amp. Go. So check this out, Internet. There's the in lane that feeds to the flippers, but there's chat's targets, which I am 100% stealing. You're stealing them. The idea. I don't know if you guys can hear that, but it's very loud. I think the game works just fine. That's what those buttons do. They control the words heavy and metal. I'm like, how'd that be my, uh, technical notification? Heavy, heavy, heavy! That's not what I meant! So this game has a six ball multiball. It's crazy. Yeah, you load them up there. Right up the ramp and... You get a momentum hit with the power amp. What the hell was that? Looks like we hit them plastered. The nuisance thing. So what does that power value do? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know much about this game. Internet, you tell me what's going on. Wet butt disease for 21 months in a row. Thank you for maintaining your membership to the league. You're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, flip it some butts up for wet butt disease. Youth of trivia, ACDC pinball machine is now four years old. Holy shit. Shit. I thought it was older, too. But I've only been into pinball for a bit. There you go. Free ball. Keep them going, boys. Lock them up. I love you, wet. I love you, wet. Sorry, that's gross. I love you, wet. Is it a fight ball, molten ball? It might be a pit ball. So, I'm guessing there's lots of wheels. I just got robbed. I just got robbed, boys. Hot System 11. Ah, well, thanks, buddy. Wax coming in hot with his bit bot. So, I was hosting somebody earlier, Mally, the young lady that raided us yesterday, and it looks like the numbered box went over to her. Feels bad, man. Oh, don't you? Yes to the lock steel. Nice, I guess we don't have to worry about it. Okay. Alright. Oh, Crystal, you're going to get another drink. Do you have any PDR? Uh, say it's for Jack Danger. Thank you. Yo, what's up snowboarder? Alright, here we go. Just say it's for Jack Danger. Alright, here it comes. Look at this multiball. It peaked right down the frickin' center. Oh, you can shoot back in there? Whoa! Dude, this game is insane. You see why I said I could roll this game over? I have two million points, you know? I think we can roll this bad boy. This game also has a very impressive I think we can roll this bad boy. This game also has a very impressive chopper. A giant boombox, essentially. Crystal, fix your game. This thing likes to scream. Holy moly. Big ghetto blaster. Wax with the bits. Rex, I'd be curious to know if that is actually automated, how you're doing that. Any particular soundtrack only rivaled by going nuts? Oh, right, right, right. Check how many times Kenny say no. milk. Ooh! There is a... Oh, you can... Wait, you can have a multiball whenever you want? Oh! Wait a second. Okay, so you get to choose when you have the multiball. That's pretty dope, actually. Oh, Bumbleina. Sick. The sounds are insane. The topper is what's producing the sound in general. What's up, B? Oh my god, the screaming. Heavy metal, heavy metal. Heavy metal, heavy. Hello, Spud McKenzie. I think he's on the back last time. Dude, Crystal, stop flirting with dudes and get over here. So a problem we were having, and actually, I think we just solved something. What's up, Kai? Usually there's pinball machines here that we don't stream in this particular area because there's a skylight here, but when it gets dark enough, the skylight's gone. Cheers, buddy. Thank you. Oh, my God, a little bit of a hill to climb. Oh, my God. That's your Swedish name. Oh, my God? Or Hilda Climb. They call me Hildy. Alright, where am I? What am I shooting for? Heavy! What's a G8 pinball? Who? Who dat? Heavy! Heavy! Me melt, melt, melt. So, apparently you can get multiball whenever you want it. Yeah. Oh, it's kind of like with the arrow key. So, you can lock up all the balls and get it that way, or if you have more than one ball locked in there, all you gotta do is smack it hard enough to push it all the way to the back. So that's what the power ramp is. Dude, so good. Oh, goddammit! I need to get a better spring put on this launcher. Hi, internet! No, I mean, are you trying to fast forward? Peanut, please. This sound is so ridiculous, and I love it. Hell yeah, Danny. Danny VVV. Metal! This game has so many weird components. I love the scat targets, and... You also look like a girl I dated. Why are you making me laugh? Oh, scary, scary. Yo, Flip, when you scream in Aerosmith again, keep up the good work. Yossi, probably soon. I heard that some new code just went on it and Batman... Actually, the Batman thing I think is a secret. Never mind. Forget what I said about Batman. Are we good? Are we good? Are we fighting? Are we beefing right now, though? All right, go for it. You'll really love it after another 30 minutes, Penny. Penny Middy Shredder is both really grating and super charming somehow. I agree. Scary beard? Maybe I left you because of your scary beard. Jack with the secrets again. I have too many secrets, guys. You guys fought too much. But when you get that emotional with somebody, maybe it was meant to be. Spruce Zeus! Every single family comes out of this table is absolutely ridiculous. Like this? Go, Kevin! Go, Kevin! Okay, I'm sorry. Here we go. I hit that. I hit that, too. I hit it. What did he do? He put money. Only this one does. Really? Yeah, hit it. Let's try the other one. Nothing. It just yells the word heavy. It does something. I literally don't like Bally midway because of a pin I had from that. Oh, really? Yo, Terramore, what's going on? Oh my god. It's dread. I can tell you one thing. I hate these slippers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're pretty bad. And they're awful to adjust. Shit. Are they the ones that sit on a shoe? A shoe? Shoes? Yeah. The flippers that sit on shoes. You got a motor dome? Nice, dude. Can we get some head and medals and chad? Thanks! This looks quite good. This game is... It doesn't know when to shut up. It's like, how many melts do we want on here? Four. Eh, let's go nine. No! We're paying for them, right? Damn it. Sit on a bitch. Sit on a bitch. Donate to kids. Terramort for half a freaking year, darling. Thank you for maintaining your membership. To the league, your amazing ladies and gentlemen, flippers and butts up in Terramort. If you could, shoot some lube. Flippers and butts. I can't do it because I'm not on Twitter right now. Chappers and bats. Chappers and bats. What is that brownie? What brownie? Bruce. It's like a block of tobacco. Alright, here we go. Box feeling. Don't hate kids. A day off pretty nice, Terry. Don't hate kids. Jammy song. I can't hit anything! Wait, did I do? Brain? No, but like... I don't know. It's Bruce Bell, everybody. Beep, beep. Alright, who's got keys to the Jeep? Who's got keys to the Jeep? Wow. The adult mode and Sopranos, all the heavy and metal. I don't know, adult mode and Sopranos is freaking amazing, though. It's just a lot of swears and moots? It's literally all the F words. Baby Ruth, everybody out of the pool. Yeah, I sort of uh... I think we have 350k. It's been pretty ridiculous. I agree. Good save. Woo! Is that a knocker? I think you just got multiballs. No, especially. I'm really annoyed by this. Yokum's Island Express was announced at GDC. Ooh, what? Dude, what button did he hit? I shared that on my Facebook. That looks awesome. People. It doesn't even have to be... There's no accelerometer. You can literally play like this. like this. You can literally... This game? No, this. That game's not going to last long, don't worry. No, I mean physically, condition-wise. That game's not going to last long the way people are playing it. Free money. Watch the Alien pinball video this morning? I'm going to be streaming Alien. Did you guys know that? Hi, Lonto. We're going to be streaming Alien on Monday. And it's going to be dope. I want to play. I want blow trotters for that. Dude, hell yeah. I think I squeaked it last week. I need to talk to you about getting my cell machine out of here for a minute and into the place where I'm going to put it. Yeah, why not? Let's go. Wait, where are you going to put it? In the American Legion Hall a block from my apartment. Are you going to try to make money off of it? Well, yeah, but no. It's not going to make money. It will make money. What? Alien Monday? Fucking awesome. Yes, Monday I'm going to be streaming Alien. I'm driving all the way out to Madison, Wisconsin to hang out with the Madison Pinball League. They're beating them. I know. I'm not going to Arcade Expo in Louisville because my mom's going to be in Chicago. Oh, your mom's not feeling well? Well, that's... Sorry. Trap first turn. What? What? First turn. Maybe we'll just scare everyone out of here by doing this over and over again. I don't think they can hear it. Will you scream Jetsons? I sure will. I gotta get a hold of Charlie. My daughter. I actually really acquitted him about the nasty ass thing. Oh yeah, Scott Demasi. I want to go to that. Did you call him Scott Demasi? Nancy? No, I just started. Scott, did you hear that? Ah, yeah, it's gonna be dope. His machine is so freakin' rad. I've been watching his updates on the, on the work. Yeah, it's pretty dope. Mip, mip, mip, mip, mip, mip. Yeah, we're hoping to stream Jetsons. Um, I would also like to stream... Wait, what else am I streaming? See, I just started Malky Ball there. I'm trying to think. Wait! Okay. I was going to say, give me my balls. My testicles. Give me my balls. Give me my testicles. Aw, damn it. Keep it alive. I got to pee. I would love it, Jackson. Give me one. Let's go. Well, Internet, did you know that... Yo, Scary Beard, for 10 months in a row, thank you for maintaining your membership. to the league. You're amazing. Good, Crystal, I'll pay him the beer. Take me back. I'll tell her when she gets back. The Jetsons game was produced by Spooky. It is not a Spooky game. Same thing with Domino's. Produced by Spooky, not a Spooky game. Spooky's third pinball machine is yet to be announced. So, the price and all that stuff of Jetsons was determined by Pinball... I forget the name of the company. The Pinball Company, I think is their name. Just go, man. This is the table they play now. Wait, they got pinball in hell? Yeah, but it's heavy metal meltdown. Too spooky. The guy's restoring the Xerox also finally again. Oh nice dude! What game are people in the background apparently punching? No, they're flipping a table. It's just the switch they gotta hit, they don't have to rough it up, but it's happening. I knew you could backhand that! Damn! What, the, uh, Power Booster Shop? The Power- did you say Power Pussy? No, Power Booster! Dirty Man? The Power Pussy Shop? Tell me Dirty Man one more time, I love it. Okay, and then I think it's called multiball. I don't know. Now, you're supposed to be able to shoot... Oh, my God. Good job. Boom. Back in. Hey, Jack, I bought another game. I think you'd like this one. What is it, penis? We're rolling this freaking game, boys and girls. I don't give a fuuuuuck. What is B2C at? Better... Back to the Future. We'll start a remake of Back to the Future, that'd be awesome. But the Tungsten. Yo, donate to kids! What is your problem today? Crystal gets laid and she can't handle herself. So, by the way, ScaryBeard left you a message. You can see it in the top left. I can't see it on the top left of my screen. Sorry. You're smelling my name. That's why you left them. That's why I left them. I'll throw the beard. Chain, thank you so much for the follow, buddy. We're going rolling. So what does hitting meltdown here do? Collect the bonus. Doesn't matter because I missed it. I think that lamp might be out. From here it looks like meat down. Heavy metal meat down. Heavy metal meat down. You hear white water? Yeah, white water's here. I wonder if I can name all of the pens here on the top of my head. Without looking. Sorry. You went to a pinball arcade? Nice, Moose! Wizard of Oz, the Animario World, ugh, I'm sorry dude. The game's weird. Oh, in Stargate. Yeah, there's an Embryon here somewhere. In the back. Game might be a little hot, sorry. I was trying to cool down. Oh, were you? Yeah. I was counting down my bonus, which means I was farting at this scene. Fart, fart, fart. Cindy! What's wrong? Yeah, what's wrong? Embryon is pretty tight. It's a crazy gap. No! Post-pat. You've been to Logan since last September? Get out of here! Yeah! We like you! You're good people, whoever you are. Jet midi guitar. What's up, Maltz? What's up? Maltz. Woo! Baby! Looks like the R's out. Yo, steal my multiball again, see what happens. Oh, I'll do whatever I please. No, I mean you'll score a big score, not do what happens. Shut up. You have a 2x multiplier, go. Of course, it's lit. I can't decide. It is lit. It is! It is! No! Ride the whirlpool! That's the one I bought. Get it sinking. Sorry I missed you, dude. Boobah! I don't know what I was trying to say just then. Nooooooo! You bought an Embryon? Dude! Embryon's such a dope game. It's huge! I bought my next game, Conquest. Wet Butt Disease, you know what's funny? Where I'm going to screen Scott Dinesi's game on Friday, there's two original Big Lebowskis there. Before they pulled the music and took the gun and the pot leaf off the playfield. Alien next week. You know it, buddy. I have a big old crush on Cassidy. He's married, lady. I know, but you can still have crushes on people who are married. Can you? Yeah. And people who are not married. I have a crush on my wife. Oh, that's boring. Yeah. She's pretty cool. I have a crush on her wife. Heavy metal. Okay, guys. Get the idea. Is Bruce just going nuts with those? Is that a person? Yeah, right? Those, uh, those, those emails... I thought it was a, I thought it was a pop-up group. I don't know. They are what they are. Heavy! Most people have not counted. So I'm spilling heavy, and metal. Oh, it lights the extra ball timer. Oh! Shit. Shit. They should rename them Multiball Meltdown. It's like you could keep shooting the same shot all day, but it gets boring. So I'm like trying to shoot other things. Oh, man. I dropped my toolbox on my life. It just keeps going nuts and doesn't stop going nuts. Dude, it's crazy. Jack, where are you seeing Alien Pinball from? I don't know. It's in Madison, Wisconsin somewhere. I don't know where I'm going or who I'm talking to. But I'm going to be hanging out with Wisemouth from Pinside, or Hilton as he was named by his parents. Okay. Okay. A lot of string to go. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. Happy people, right? I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. Is that really happiness? Yeah, right? Yeah, right? Nice. Love that. Drop it. Drop it to the floor, girl. I dropped my toolbox on my leg today. Why? Oh, you didn't do it on purpose? I like her. Is the fight about to break out? Uh, yeah. Oh, sorry about that. You have demand or no demand? Oh, wait, we're... Oh, boy. Okay, I can do this, guys. You're good. I believe you. Here we go. Oh, wow. That is yelling at only brown liquor, Timmy. Oh, come on! Kevin! Kevin! I think we're going to stream on this for another 35 minutes, and then we're going to play Mousin' Around, alright? Because I think we've exhausted the, uh... It's not... Milton? Milton? Milton. Do you want to start off? I don't care. Excuse me. If it's brown yellow bun, what do I do with my poop? If it's yellow, let him know. Quit mouthin'! Oh my god, my life. Hey, good job! It's a turk-mortar! Play mouse it now, we'll get to it bro! TURK-MORTAR! Here's a quick overview of your, uh, who cares, I'm gonna... Oh yeah, those are my controls. Hey, what's up, Andy? What's up? What's up? I want that 50k! Your games while making me long for perfect pathetic make me want to be slightly dead, I hear you. Shut your mouth, I'm just so dumb. I'll be back in 35 minutes, Cindy, I love you. What is Ocean Pacific? Ocean, man. What's a boda, then? Take me by the... I think it's like a bean bag for your scrotum. Let's flip it. What's wrong? Do you mean the left fling shot? The fling shot is definitely electric. Listen to those slapsticks. That ain't me boys. I'm not an old turkey. What the heck is going on? I am the new hotness. You're the old hotness. No I'm not. I'm the new hotness. Oh, I'm sorry. That's what I said. There's something about being the old Hymas too that's good. Distortedly conduct is going on. Goddamn slamming. Yeah, slamming. What's up fellas? Someone's recording their complaints about having to kiss Cody's sideburns. And ladies. Oh! I don't yell and climb the hell out of the side of the machine every flip. They're playing a table-clipping game, but they're doing it wrong. They're being far too elvired with what's happening. Yep, melt, melt, melt. I want to get that 50k. Keep talking. I'm getting genuinely worried. Yes, climb up the cockpit. And a full-position cockpit, and an Atari Star Wars cockpit. Oh, damn. Ah, I blew it. Dang it. Isn't tomorrow table flipping kill, though? Well, I don't... I didn't intend on streaming on location tomorrow. But maybe we will. I'm going to be here again. Maybe we'll stream table flipping. Just to stop other people complaining about me. Or a Mario Kart. I love Mario Kart! I like the racing Mario Kart. Hey, we're old! MADAM! We're taking the anger out of the machine. How do you do that metal thing? Yeah, sure. Are you bringing Charlie to Logan? Am I allowed to? Little children are not allowed at this park. Well, he lives here. This is his living room. Kiss. Lucky so-and-so. Mario Kart. Wait, did you backhand that power ramp before? No. No? Do you think it's possible? I don't think there's enough power in the flipper to push a ball all the way up. You're right. All right, why not? Mario Kart. Mario. Mario. How do you chat the in lane again? You have to try it. You know what? I will give you a dollar bill if you can hit one of those cats. It has to be this one. I'm going to be here all night, folks. What about this one? I'm an animal. Oh, okay. That's a cool thing I did. For a Canadian, how can you tell a chasm? I said Mario. And I'm eating ketchup chips right now. In my dream. No! Alright. So it's like 101 for Ken, right? Yeah. Damn. That is tough. Oh, well now this is lit too. My shoes are tied. Uh oh. Don't trip and fall on the... Why are you taking your hand off the game? Right? How much is a shot in... in a can at Logan? How much is a... So how much is this? Well, one thing is, uh, Chicago's good taste. Six dollars for a shot in a Tallboy? Damn! Alright, we're going to try to sketch this bad boy. Sketch targets are going on the next pinball machine we design, ladies and gentlemen. Remind me. Someone type that in the design doc right now. Alright, thanks for your bits, buddy. Let's go for multi-mall first. Oh, $5 for a Tallboy and a shot? Holy crap. Oh, did I turn the design thing off? Shit. Sorry guys, I turned it off. I got robbed the first time. I like this homey piece of plastic. You don't need them. Oh, the clipper got stuck. You guys have any cups on your side now? Yeah. Help, help, help! So heavy. You're such a help. Very down. Here we go. here we go middle of the middle of the middle of the middle so good Oh, we just got Rob-a-roni'd. Oh, I got an extra ball. Here we go. The $5 is for a PBR and a Malort. It's really... Oh, it's a Malort? It's not that. You're not winning anything. That's why it's called the Chicago Handshake. You're not winning anything. You know what's less pricey? drinking your own urine. Oh, subscribing, yeah. Matt, you're so kind. Then, uh, fix it. Then fix it. It's your charm. It's your charm. Hold Boners, that's right. I'm going to get that. Woo! What did you do it? Uh, Intimum. Ah! I tried it when I was doing a practice game. I couldn't hit it. It's like an accidental target, for sure. C.W. Harper for two months in a row. Thank you for maintaining your membership. This league, you're amazing. And Wet Puts is easy with $6 for a shot and a can money. I will go get that. I will take a shot of Malort for you guys. If you don't know what Malort is, Google M-A-L-O-R-T. Alright, and look at what everyone says about that beverage. What bunch of these, L.L.B.? Can I get some hearts of chaff for wet? Clippers and butts up for C.W. C.W., love you, buddy. Thanks for the hundred vids, man. Wet butt didn't bite me, Andrea. I guess you're the host. I'll just drink water. Google Mallworth? Fucking guys. I hate them. Hey, don't take my balls. Oh, wait, the game's over for me. Matt and Fred just subscribed. You are not kidding, Fred. Matt, welcome to the league. You're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, clips and bucks. Clips and love. Look at that new sub hype. Matt. Clips and bucks. You won't regret it, buddy. I love your stud. Thank you. Crystal said she'll send you some dirty Snapchats later. Ow. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Um. Yeah, okay. I'd buy you. Wait, hold on. I buy you a drink, but I can't spell your name. Oh, pickle. Rude. Dude, thank you so much, guys. I appreciate it. Fire it up, babe. It doesn't even give you the chance to see that you put in a second player. Right, you haven't yet. It's like all... I don't think... Uh-oh, we need a third person. Third person, or third person. They're eating food. Dude, that smells incredible. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. going to pinball this weekend, I'll send you some juicy photos on Twitter, hell yeah. Internet, join my Discord, and there is a section in Discord called Scores. Put some freaking foot... Ew, shit. That was you. Yeah, I know. I'm a gross human with no manners. Oh, well, thanks, dude. Ooh, that's special. Everybody out. Finally in on this shit. Not everybody. Matt, hit refresh, and then where you usually type, where it says send a message down below, there's a smiley face. Click that, and those are all the emotes right there. That thing smells real good. Smells like fried chicken. It smells like fried chicken. It's amazing. Oh, yeah. Art of Chicken Art of Pizza Art of Chicken Art of French Fries Art of Spaghetti Wonko just bought you a Chicago Handshake Thank you Wonko Wonko I miss you Pinball and actually learned that there's a festival 15 minutes from where I live in 3 weeks Damn Dude Pinball Dad I agree I'm going to throw a Pinball Festival at the American Legion where my one pinball machine will be. You mean a pinball crucible. Yeah. No. No! Internet, I'm sorry. I'm yelling. Shit, I lost it. I lost them both. You're still the bulk of it. I do? Five bucks says nothing happens. All right, cool. So here's what we're going to do. I scoot over here for a second. I'm going to give you this. And what I want you to do is go get two Chicago handshakes. Just pay for them. Yeah, I don't want them to buy that. This is on chat. Chat, you're amazing. I love you. Two Chicago handshakes. Talk to Elena. What did you call me? Wax, thanks for the bits. Matt, that's Brett. What happened to Borrow? Registered that pinball info, yay, yeah. Awesome, didn't register pinball info. What the hell's pinball info? Am I missing something? There's going to be some 400 machines there. Holy crap, Dad, that's nuts. Here we go How many heavies would you like and how many medals would you like Here heavy And here metal Alright Tater Salad, thank you for the 50 bits. You're amazing. You hear Junkyard? Yeah, Junkyard's two machines over. I never stream to that game because it's underneath the skylight here, but I keep forgetting that I don't stream until it's dark when I go on location, so... Hell yeah. Yeah, the alcohol we're about to take a shot of, you can't get unless you're in Chicago. And it's freaking awful. White Airballs, come on. My boot. Yeah, Malort is like a Chicago institution. It's sort of a rite of passage to take your first shot when you move here, or at least visit. Many people have different descriptions of what it tastes like. My description, it tastes, my taste description is it tastes like when you were younger in the 80s and you sprayed too much Aquanet and a lot of it gets in your mouth. That's what it tastes like to me. Any chatters in San Diego headed down there in March? Nice, dude. Website says a bar near me, have it? Hell yeah. They are in Tallboy. What does he say? Six freaking dollars and I just read it again. Thank you. for some reason it just refreshed all of a sudden. Sounds like vodka. It's um, it looks like, a fun game I like to play is get a tray of shots of Jim Beam, make one of those shots Malort, cause they're all the same color, and then it's a game of roulette, and everyone cheers, and you take a shot, and you know who got the shot of Malort when they're like, Hating their lives. It's absence without the anus in it? Yeah. You gotta have the anus, dude. That's fine. Oh, they're tiny little old-styles. They're little babies! Little babies! Thanks, Mom. You're welcome, son. Um... Split flipper? Yeah. Let's split chop. Or have a shot, even though it's whipped. Let's have a shot, even though it's whipped. Hold on, let's go full screen for the shot. Are we allowed to drink on the internet? Are you fucking kidding me? It's my job. Cheers? I didn't want cilantro. It's good. It's not so bad. So floral. It's so floral. Very amazing. That's funny. Are you ready? Okay. Flip flipper. Here we go. Thank you, Internet, for that. Yes, thank you, Internet. That is tough to shoot, let me tell you. It's not that bad. Oh, you're one of those fucking people. I'll drink that shit over. I'll drink that. I put my teeth with Malort. Get up from Chicago and let you lube your dick up with Malort. I can't even do that when I'm playing on my own. You ready? Yeah. We got, there was one little buffer bump there, but we're good. It was just one little crunch. We'll be okay. Yeah, we got one little, there's one little frame bump. We'll be all right. I bought a bottle of Malort. A bottle. A bottle. You bob a bobble? I bought a bottle of Malort for, uh... Ugh. All right, you were first? Yes. Yeah. For a New Year's party? On a whim, and I didn't think anybody was going to drink it, and it was gone before 11 o'clock. It was just a tiny little baby buffer, Internet. We're back. We're back. Are they freaking out? Everyone gets shot and a can of whippadoo. Whippadoo. Um, internet, if you can see us and the internet is cleared up, say, spell the word... Check. ...in chat. But make it, make it offensive. Yeah. Check. It's like the most least romantic word for... No, it's like I want to correct your chest. I want to fondle your chest. It's kind of gender neutral. Yeah. Because men really don't want to. I mean, we do. See, someone said breast. Motherfucker. Thank you, Ravioli. You did it. I'm into it. That was hard to catch. I don't know why that was the first thing that came to my brain. Are you ready? Give me some balls! I want to play! Beautiful. multiball, here we go! Chesticles! God damn it! Wait, why were we asking for chesticles? I just wanted to know if the screen was caught up. Ta-ta, yes. Give me one of those. Thank you, buddy. Fucking Don. Shit, come on. Well, we know that target work. Alright. Tiny town. That should do it. Oh, that's cheating. Sorry. No, it's not cheating. No, it's not cheating. What time do you have planned for alien? We're guessing six or seven. Why is it metal, huh? The score is banana. Oh, we got dunked. You got dunked. I'm working on it. Oh, I'm too. It's a weak fit. All right. Whatever you want, man. Oh, okay. Okay. Shit. Too much bounce. Let it bounce. Oh, sorry. It's all good. Uh, my bad. Dude. Great job. Played Aerosmith last night. It was fun. The lock is easier. Bouncing. Yeah, the bounce for the lock is way easier. Oh, my God. J0, J15. Love you, buddy. Is the rubber too big? That's what she said. Uh. Nobody has ever said that. I watched it before. I watched it before. I watched it before. I watched it before. I watched it before. I watched it before. I watched it before. I watched it before. I watched episode 2 of roleplay animated good job people Yachty I think we're doing it at 6 or 7 p.m.. Central time He looks great Why he's fluttering like I hate it No one's ever said that to me? Eat my dick. No one's ever said that to me. Actually, people say that to me a lot. Eat my dick. And then I'm like, okay, Mom. Thanks for nothing, Mom. All right, we're catching up right now. I'm tired of this shit. Screw that up. Come on baby. Alright, screw that up too. A solid bit. Spence it is! Freakin' Spence it. Whoo! I don't know what I'm streaming Thursday or tomorrow. Guys, what should I stream tomorrow? Probably not Dude Bro game. Crazy? I think I want a game that doesn't see the light of day often. Like, what's the least played game here at ETH? I know, because it's the coin counter, I would say. Is that for me? Really? Um, shit. Junkyard would be fun. Junkyard would be fun. Yeah, you know what, let's do Junkyard. Let's do Junkyard. Hey, wait. Easy mama, we good, we good. Don't get sad. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Well, we locked them both up. Oh wow. Ooooooh! What? So the Volkswagen's better be locked? You locked the Volkswagen's better. It's 100k every time you hit that fucking race. I have 5 million points. I didn't have a million when I started this. Man, this game. Oh, Jaded, yeah, the TPA thing was fun. I think we're gonna save that for next week, because we're sort of blowing our load on the location stuff this week. Wax the playfield and junkyard and remove the ball fave. Guaranteed rage. Okay! Can we get the rollover here? That was close. That was close. That was close, Internet. Um, they get some XZs, please! Holy crap. Betpeace TA, what's up, buddy? Brian, my man. Nice to see you, dude. Oh, frick! Looking forward to Monday. You know I'll be there. Gonna spread the word. Hell yeah. Thanks, Yossi. I appreciate it, man. X the Skrillex is Crystal. Crystal is Skrillex. It's true. Junkyard is one major X. Wait. Ugh. Gross. I'm ready. I'm ready. For what? I don't know. Whatever. But is your body ready? My body is ready for anything. Why? Yo, Brian! You just said why. Brian, with that entire freaking year, to TCA, thank you for maintaining your membership to the league. You're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, flippers and butts up, if you could, please, show some love. Have you screened Star Trek Next Gen? My buddy Lethal Frag streams that constantly, so I try to show stuff that isn't on the reg, you know what I'm saying? I would rather hang myself than scream at him. My water's always fine. But that's my go-to when I'm at other parties. How's texting? I don't think texting could... I mean, texting's fun. I still think it could hold my attention for hours. Oh, it's like 3 a.m. And heavy metal meltdown. We're not streaming this for freaking ever. Get off the goddamn ramp, you dick! Thank you. Play fish tails maybe? Ah, they don't have one here. The Addams Family is a two-shot game. Thank you. Yep. Yeah, you should take a boomerang. To the face. Oh! Oh! Have you taken a boomerang to the face? I'm your friend, I'm your friend. I'm your friend, why would I take a boomerang to your face? Me and my friend doesn't stop you from getting a boomerang to your face. I mean, I'm not gonna do it. Oh, it's so cute, I love it. You'd like to see Centaur? Ooh! Uh, Centaur's in storage. They have a Centaur here. She's not in my game. Well, storage. I mean, I'm sorry, they own one. Shit, I was coming for that, dude. We hit 7 million. Look at those bonus, too. Holy shit. Oh, that was good. I loved it. That was... You know what's great? How's that 8 million feel? Shit, we almost rolled this goddamn game. That wasn't ball three, was it? We were 1.7 million away from rolling it over. I don't want a good score. No, it's great. A lot of things are really great. Let's go, man. I see that dick pic you just got. I don't get dick pics. Why don't you make me take a shot of Malort? Jesus. Brian, I love you. Dodge Caravan. That's a really great description. Where's your hat? I'll just find you a hat. I'm just about to get picked. Internet, uh, can I get some dick pics please? Can I get some dick pics? Can I get a dick pic too? Hey, who has my Snapchat handle? Oh, sorry, let me just put my initials in. Because I'm awful? Aw, don't be awful. Gee. Why is anyone complaining? Yeah, more, talk that fast, it's okay. I'm not doing DGR. It's a possible decease. We're done with this game, Internet. We're switching over. Crystal, do you want to assist me with this? Do I what? Do you want to assist me? I'll try. Okay. Here's what we're going to do. Turn off this light and put it where in between Let me unplug it first I don't want to yank on anything. I mean, I do. Oh, no! What happened? Nothing. Just thinking about dirty stuff. That's all. Okay, this is going to take some snaggling. So I'm going to turn this off. The labia umbrella. The labia umbrella? The labia umbrella. The labia umbrella. Oh my. Please. You ever had bachelor vodka? Have you ever, uh, got, no, stage or, uh, broken? Oh, a baklava, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard baklava. Yeah, I've heard baklava. Baklava, it's incredible. I've never had a check over to my house. I used to have checks over all the time, you know what I'm saying? Internet on drinking. Somebody will touch it, or somebody will put me in for a bad time. What? Nice to see you, Machine Change Halfway. Hell yeah, Keele. We're gonna try. It's so dark. Hi, Payton! So... When did Jameis get here? He didn't even say hello. Did you throw all your switches around? Yeah. Alright, Keele's up. Thanks for the follow, though. Perfect. Now we gotta flip this over. Alright, this is gonna take some connection here. I gotta make sure I don't drop my laptop. Jack got by it last night? No, no. There we go. Now we're gonna do that. There we go. Now we're gonna do that. Now we're gonna do that. Now we're gonna do that. Now we're gonna do that. You got to clean some wickets for me. We almost lost the laptop. We almost lost our laptop. This is a lot easier when I'm using webcams. Alright, we gotta get this closer, sorry. You have a... No, sir! We're almost there. Almost there. Ooooo, I'm burning out! Where's that? Uh-oh. That's not good. Hold on. Wack the lift, you wog! Something fell. Yeah, it was. And they're flying straight there. That's the group we wanted to find. Excellent. Get that out of the way, guys. Get it out. Ba-boom. Two, things are not supposed to fall. Typically we don't want things to fall over. Typically we don't want things to fall over. Uh, we'll scream. Ah, boop. Hey, Internet. Internet. Yes, you probably did hear pole position. Okay folks, how does that look? Good? I think that looks okay. I'll pull the position straight. I'll pull your position. I already had my position pulled. Oh my god. Alright. By your mom. Oh, nailed it. Okay, I'll put some money in since Crystal's too lazy to get her fucking keys. I'll get some quarters from the thing. No, it's fine. I mean, Zespi's giving me free beers tonight, so I can't control it. Can we tell Crystal to turn it down? Oh, am I too loud? Sorry. Oh, no, the thing is cold today. I know, I'm joking. That's mine. I haven't tried mine yet. I think mine would kill over there. Maybe one of these. I don't know. Let's see. So that's the restaurant? That's the one. Yeah, thanks mom. You're welcome son. What a waste of a quarter! Don't you want to mouse around? Um, Why don't you start us off there buddy? Don't you want to mouse around? Let's go. How do I blow this game up? Uh, you can shoot the ramp until your face turns. Or you can go the Twitchel route, which is open the middle gate and just shoot that all day. I love the middle gate. It reminds me of a lot of Zachariah games. Still getting the Bot Follows? Nah, we got rid of those. Oh, skill shot, baby! By the way, Trouble for Maw, thank you for maintaining your membership to the league for nine freaking months. You're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, flip this and bust up for that stub baby. I have a question. Hold on. I may not get here as often as I would like, but I still love your titties and I love your beer. Our Twitch baby has finally gestated. Love you, Jack. Love you, Chat. What is our baby's name? Kitty. Yeah. Isn't that a great word? Kitty. Kitty. Better than Chat. Yeah. Crystal, how'd you get into pinball since the oxy? Ex-boyfriend. Sexing boyfriend. No, terrible. Bad man. Bad man. Is he, uh, do I know him? No. I like titties. Glad I came into this. Um. Shaggy, what's up, dude? I love titties. New York City pubes. Can you do the, uh, that post-pass in that room? That looks a little deep, but I will try it. I will try it. Let me, uh, let me take some stupid shots first. You know what, let's try it right now. You ready? Yep. What she's talking about is, on some of the earlier sterns and such, um, you're allowed to drop the flipper and let the ball bounce off the center post to the other flipper. It looks a little down, but we'll see what we can do. I'll name our Twitch baby after the world's greatest dolphin flipper. Aww. That's stupid. Derek with the 100 bits, get those flip bits out of that cup. Thanks, dude. Alright, here we go. Nah. Nah. That shit ain't working. Yassi, what field's bad, man? Hey, we switched games. I... I got some... I'm also glad that we're not playing this. Great. This was a lot faster than Heavy Metal Level. I'm gonna take a photo of Mountain now. Am I in it? Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, you don't have to make it about way too fast. I'm gonna take a photo of Mountain now. Am I in it? I mean you don't have to make it about me. Holy shit. It's so fast. Thanks buddy. This is like when you're... So playing Heavy Metal Meltdown and then playing Mousing Around is like you're driving a Fiat and then you start driving a Volkswagen. Yo, are you calling out Fiat's, man? Fiat's are great, but they're not as fast as Volkswagen's. Did you just call me a Fiat? Yeah. Fiat. I got a new Prime. Hey, dude! That's a crazy looking Jurassic Park machine across the street. Oh yeah, it's Raw Thrills. Yo, the people at Raw Thrills are the shit. And what's cool is Josh Sharpe, one of the best pinball players in the world, whose father saved pinball, works for Raw Thrills. So you wanna mouse around? Girl, I wanna mouse around. Take them kiddies out. I feel like we should have started with this turnaround. It's so fast. I like the speed on this. It feels refreshing. And shallow as hell. And there's so much grass. Got it. Gate's open, boys. Oh shit! It's leaning. It's like switching from a Chardonnay to a Pinot Grigio. More like a shard-a-nay. Ha ha ha! Wait, that's what you say. Like a shark? Shark-a-nay. Oh, hit that gate! Oh! Shrubster! Manson! Yo, what's up, Yancy? Hey, Yancy! Yancy! What's up, Yance? Do a dance with us, pull up the Yancy. Good job. I'm a, I'm a rhymer. Justin Timer. Oh, these slippers need to be tightened. Somebody tell a text. He learns how to fix one thing. It's really, it's actually kind of a curse. You shit on a bitch. No audio for you. There's audio, Dylan Chubb. No audio for you. Well, it's a shame that you can't hear me say that. Crystal is a metaphoric wet butt vaccine. Thank you. That's... Wait, what? What does that mean? Crystal is a metaphoric wet butt vaccine. I don't understand what that means. I think that's an incredible description of your personality. Like I keep you from getting wet butt? Yeah, because, you know, we're just friends. You don't get my butt. As a man, you don't get my butt. Unmute your brain. I forgot this has a fucking kickback. Amazing. Go to the hall! Baboosh. Double scoring. Here we go. It's because I waxed it. That's what's up. Waxing the biscuit. I gotta tighten those flippers. Yes. We'll do that tomorrow. I saw... Make- Make- It's a letter. Nice-o! First of all, it is a metaphor for wet butt. That's it. You have the cure for wet butt disease. No! Wait, why? What's in the hole? Where is the hole? Is that the... In the back right there. I've never had the... Oh, I got the cheesy boner! Go for the hole, she waxed it! What's that comedy? He went lion! Comedy good to see you, bud. Go for the hole, she waxed it! The hole she waxed it! Shit! Is that three balls? Holy crap, this game is quick! Pinball is so suggestive. Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, I got an extra ball. Oh, no big deal. Internet, how are you feeling today? If the answer is not, uh, garbage... Foul chess. Foul chess? If the answer is garbage, I want you to write testicles, please. If the answer is fantastic, I want you to write... whatever you want. Oh, whatever you want. Stealer's choice. This is a weird little game. I quite enjoy the shots on this machine. It's so fast. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. Cleveland Steamers. Oh, baby. Chesticles are the besticles. Oh, the million shot's lit. What am I wasting my time on this crap for? It's not on a timer, is it? Yeah. One million points. I already forgot what the prompt was. If you're feeling great, take whatever you want. Right? That's what I want, right? Yep. Come on. Take with it, buddy. You got this. If you're gonna spin nonsense, you gotta remember what it is. Damn, Kate, you're in the way. I'm sure her memory is... Oh, darn. Oh, darn. Yo! What's that, five mils? Oh, is that five-vale? Oh, 4.9. No big deal. Alright, trust the bullets. Let's see what you got. That has to be Crystal. It is. Cheers. Who's that? Renclaw. Renclaw. It is me. I met Renclaw at Pinball Pete's in Ann Arbor. Is he hot? He's hot. He's a hot guy. Ow. There you go, dude. See? You know what's funny? Our viewership skyrocketed past the 50 we were stuck at because we're not playing Heavy Metal Meltz. Not in this piece. Jesus fucking name. Skyrocketed! Skyrocketed! It definitely increased. People just didn't want to hear MIDI guitar all day. I said I'm gonna name my first child as MIDI. You're silly. It's pinball, not chess. No! Comedy-loving, bud. Midi, middle name, guitar. This is my daughter. Midi, guitar. Midi, guitar. No, you mother trucker. Thank you for censoring yourself. But also, thank you for censoring yourself. No censorship. Don ate two kids. FNA. I enjoyed your Robocop stream last night. Thanks, FNA. I appreciate it. I enjoy the 69 in your name. You silly. This pinball, not just. Bum-dye heavy metal meltdown. Midi, guitar forever. Yancy. It was pretty bad. Heavy! Heavy! Maybe it's heel pass because there's ricochet sounds. Pew pew! Maybe. Mother trucked out. You got it, baby. All I can see is that giraffe, of course. Yeah, because there's a light right here. And if I move the camera further, it's like... I like the use of batteries. Yeah, so that you can see the batteries. All eight of them. It takes a lot of batteries. Or it takes a camera battery, which I don't want to deal with. Because I... Oh! Fuck you. Eat a bag. Eat a bag. Wait, that one's yours. Yeah, I'm in the bag. Tall guy's in the bag. Is that empty? I'm drinking this fast because I can't... I thought it was empty. I thought you were drinking from an empty can. I'm drinking, you deadass. You're drinking, deadass. A dead pin cast to the drink. That's because it's thirsty. I'm just passing the ball so I can get it again. C.W. Harper, thank you for the bitch wax. Thank you, bitch. There is a radical here right to the left of heavy metal meltdown, actually. I cleaned that today, too! I'm going to go get some chicken. I'm not going to get you some chicken. I would love to meet you. Hell yeah Dylan, let's go buddy. Radical is pretty gnarly, I love Radical dude. Oh! Maybe. Do you tend to stomp when I'm standing? No, that's Crystal. She's really stomping like a mother. I always stomp when I play pinball. Oh, shoot, yes. If I've been drinking. Good clap save. Thank you? Thank you. That's what's been in. Here's how I play. So, this is me standing straight up and down. But I'm like this. Yeah. It's like a substantial height difference. and then I'm like punched over. Don't tell Crystal she's doing good. It's going to fucking go to her head. No, tell Crystal she's doing well. Because that's proper grandma. Proper grandma. Pardon me, internet. I'm going to unplug the mic so I can punch her in the face. Beat me. Someone beat me to it. What is my dad watching? How do you get... Uh, oh my god, comedy, whoop. Whoop. What? Whoop. I don't get it. Oh, I get it. No, you don't. I don't get it. Oh, I get it. Jeff, you doing MCC or Papa this year? I haven't decided yet. I think I'm leaning towards MCC. He's still plugged in. This is my thing. Sometimes I'll do this. What are you saying? Not if I do this, actually. Okay. Because all of the energy. I will hold this foot right here. Okay. Oh, boy. Oh, fucking. Nailed it. Bad luck. Don't touch me. You just cost me 50 cents, woman. Dylan, you're sexy. Shut up. Have you been Uncle Tilly? Can we see the stance? I will definitely show you guys the stance. Uncle Tilly? Huh, my man. It's funny because poop comes from there. Oh yeah, the boot. Have you been Uncle... I'm Uncle Titty. Titty. They call me Uncle Titty because I got an Uncle Titty. Action ball! You son of a gun. I'm going to need it. Is that almost? Almost. Check. The Gaming Hooded Crow. Hey buddy, what's going on Gaming? How are ya? This machine reminds me of ketchup and mustard. Heck yeah. This machine, yeah, this thing's covered in ketchup and mustard. And blue milk! No, blue milk. Blue milk, he said. Please! Please! Please! Please! Nailed it. Nailed it. What? Alright! Shitty! Sybil needs more vacuum form. What is a vacuum form ramp? So, the way that they make plastic ramps is a vacuum form way of like stealing plastic to mold it into place. I feel like the Malort's hitting them straight. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good, yeah. Jack wants to look like he's 5'5". Yeah, line is bent. I'm not driving. Nope. You can only get three hours of sleep. I'm going to let a rideshare take care of that. I was going to take my gear home tonight, but because my Thursday is open now, I can stream from here tomorrow too. Oh, where, are you going to let you keep it? In the office? I've been keeping it in the back room. I've been here for like, since Monday. Oh, I'll fuck with it then. Wait, are you trying to be hood by saying that? Or are you telling me you're going to... Oh, no, because I mean like, because like I fuck with you, you know? It's like, you're my girl. I fuck with you. But not like I fuck with you, but I do fuck with you too. Like I fuck with you. Yeah, the back room. Bye Jared, have a good night. It's another name for my butthole. The back room. But I fuck with you, you know. I'm in a good mood. I'm happy. It was the shot. No, it wasn't the shot. It was part of it. Yeah, the meat injection. That's what I was talking about. Oh, yeah. The meat injection. Crap set. Oh, crap set. Oh, man. Look at that score. Fuck my dick. Sorry. Did I get an extra ball? Right now I'm king. This is getting awkward. Bill, I love you, buddy. Listen, Kyle, tail, heel. Heel. Heel? Key lol. Key lol. Can we get some key lols in chat, please? Key lol? How do you pronounce your name? I'll start us off. Can we get some key lols in chat? Woo! Woo! Please! Holy hell. Booby-doo! It's too bad that you can't stream on Hercules and then move over to Ghostbusters. Let me tell you this. I've streamed on Hercules before. It looks like a regular pinball machine on stream. But, no, I mean, because it's so far away from Ghostbusters. Oh. Well, I don't care about that. But I heard that it's like a good warm-up for Ghostbusters because of the reactions. Okay. It's like when a batter goes and swings a heavy bat before he goes up the bat. I like it. It's like running with weights on. Yeah. I want to play pinball now. What do you mean? Oh. I'm tired of you winning all the time. I'm not winning. I'm flicking. Anything goes, but not everywhere. Ugh, boring. Because I'm incredible at pinball. Heel. Okay, so heel. Give me the... Oh my God. Get... You know what? Drain. I don't even want to deal with you right now. I'm not so tired of playing pinball. You're pissing me off. I'm doing too well. It's like hurting my feelings. Suck my dick. I didn't mean to drain for real, man. Donate to K and suck my dick. I'm sorry. Internet, thank you for coming. If you're new to the stream, I apologize for talking about children and my penis in the same sentence. Click that follow button. And let's keep drinking. Oh, I'm off screen. Nobody can see me. Do they have the feminist Ghostbusters? No, that's not a thing. What's a feminist Ghostbuster? Don ate two kids. Don ate two children. Don't need to disown that movie. So hard. Oh, a pinball machine for the lady version? I just want to see a Beetlejuice pinball machine involved. They're remaking Beetlejuice too. Why? Because people are fucking wrong. You can relay my childhood. And watch the goddamn movie again. And talk about it with your friends, which is what normal people do! You don't need to see it again. You know what they remade? Uh, everything. Okay, I'm going to be honest. excited for Power Rangers. Yeah. But that's a brand that still exists and gets revamped with every new show. I'm really excited for new Power Rangers. That's fine. But, like, oh my God. Remember when I lived in New York? No. Doing stand-up, and you lived across the hall, you'd come over and eat my cereal, and George got that job for the Yankees, remember that? What's the deal with... I do, Joe, and I love you. I live with Dumb Ball. Beetlejuice pinball would be great. Hey, a Ghostbusters stream would be fun too. Ghostbusters is fun. Would you rather have the opportunity to buy a Magic Girl for $6,000 and not be allowed to resell it or be given a free Zizzle machine? Free Zizzle. A little baby pinball machine. But with real pinball parts. Uh, Magic Girl. No, you have to buy the Magic Girl. Oh, but Zizzle's free. Yeah. As a person Who watches the Google Machine Cop? No, it's free, it doesn't matter. Also, they're not made anymore. So, there's a whole nother thing they're doing. Who knows some lines from the Olympics I don know I do So there that line it like uh sandworms right Yeah okay Guys. I don't know what happened. I'm intoxicated. You're still, I thought you walked away! I thought you walked away, buddy. I did that on purpose. I heard the Robocop remake was kind of whatever. And remember they remade Judge Dredd? They did the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the Mars one, where Arnold goes to Mars. Oh yeah, Mars Town. Mars Town? Mars Town? I, my knee had barely hit the going door, but we didn't flamethrower, so we did. That really great... Also, I think we flayed out of order. Total Reckle. Oh, Total Reckle. I thought it was Mars Town. That's a little weird, dude. The far one. I thought, you called me from the back. Call dudes from the back? Like at rock and roll shows? And sex and all the stuff. Call dudes from the back? Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know, you tell me. No, I want to know. You'll find out later. No, I won't. I'm taller. Laura, are you here? I'm taller than you. You're the one that had sex with me. No, I wanted to have sex with the person that I had sex with the other day. No, the other day. You look like somebody who's boring. No, it's great the second time. What a creep. I'm sorry. I keep talking about sex because I like it. This stream's already going off the rails. What's up, Kaz? I'm sorry, buddy. Great thing. Kaz, why aren't you here right now, dude? Let's play some house and around. What? I got a hair in my mouth. Are you starting drinking my beer? Yeah. You just have, like, hair everywhere? Yeah. Like the dashboard technicals. Your hair is everywhere Screaming in for Gerbil Dave Mr. Danger is always off the rails Motherfucker, didn't you? This was a mistake Screaming wouldn't have changed I'm leaving I give up Take care of this I quit Simon, no escape, I love you buddy, what's going on? I'm gonna get control Control! You work non-stop? Shit, man, that sucks. Who? Cassidy. At what? I don't know what he works. I try not to ask what people's jobs are. Why? That's personal. Not when people are going by handles. If your name is HornyGrammar69, and... I work at Walmart! Yeah, and then someone's like, Shit, I know a guy that has a lot of pictures of, like, naked grandmas in his locker room that works at Walmart. Fuck, you're Jerry, aren't you? And then, like, you just called out so bad. But I mean, you can always ask, and if they don't want to tell, they don't have to tell. George said a data center. I'm asking. Oh, data center. Data. Data. Data is how Canadians say it. One more time. Do you live in Canada? No. Yes. Oh, fuck, still alive. Is it data center or data center? Data. So you live in Canada. In Ontario. Oh! They throw you so many questions. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, did I just see you? Yeah, I think so. I don't know, I don't care. Party Grandma 69? I beat my coach. Canada? Party Grandma 69. Wait, are you talking about... Cannabis? Is that a parody? You don't have to talk so loud. Sorry, is that a parody? Data Center. Huh? Is that a parody? Canada? It's a parody, right? Canada. No. It's like a parody. Why do you keep saying the word parody? Because I'm talking about parodies not. Please yell into the mic for us. Comedy, I promise you, you'll get a job. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Guys, I beat my coach. That's like a cool thing that never happens, ever. Stop screaming at us. I'm going to go pee. Okay, I'll go first. Yes. I guess I'll go first. Night two of tears starting now. Send Posse vibes. Gonna stick it out. Love you. Did the student just become the teacher? Was the teacher a janitor? Dude, hit pause. I love you, dude. Just play alone. She'll be a minute. Crystal always has to take a shit in the middle of streaming, dude. I don't even know why I even bother inviting her on the show. Dude, go. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Give a year of high school left? Dude, comedy. No. Comedy, if you're still in high school, can I give you a word of advice? The iron bladder jack is... I honestly can go all night without having a beer. This one! Oh, I left my beer in the bathroom. She left her beer in the bathroom. Here's the advice I would like to give you, Comedy Logic, as someone in high school. Okay? because this has helped me immensely in my day-to-day life, my business life, my entertainment career, my everything, okay? Get a job as a waiter or a waitress. My apologies. You know what? Fucking teleport. You know what's the worst? Because the ability to... You're the worst. The ability to sell yourself, strike up a conversation when people don't want it, make people laugh when they're not in the mood, so that you can make money. Like, be a waiter. If you fucking touch anything. I want to see what's up there. Crystal's got a small penis. Aw, that's cute. Thanks, Ren. Are you talking about me? Ren, stop hitting me on my girlfriend. You know what's worse? What? When you go to a back room and you get told that the person is pooping, it's hungover and smokes too much. She's like farting tobacco smell. Like yesterday's PBR. Ugh, it's disgusting. I'm just covering all of my bases, talking about that and poop. And like hangovers. I'm a gross human. I'm terrible. Oh, Witty! Comedy. I was a waiter for most of my, like, early working career, and that... The knowledge I gained from that has turned into... I don't even know. Fuck. I wouldn't be half the person I am right now, or as... I don't know that the word successful is the word to use, but... Woo! Beautiful. Nope. What is... I don't know. What's that? Woo! Cool Dead Crystal! Oh, Cool Dick. I thought it said dead. Cool Dead Crystal. I don't have a dick. I have a lady part. Jack walks over just so he doesn't play darts. I have lady tits. Me too. Stick sticks. We prefer bruh. I don't Here we go. Ladybits are disgusting. Amen to that. Did you see the... the... that research that was finally, uh... Yeah. I did see that. I didn't need to have it proved to me. It's like ladies, you're not squirting, you're peeing. Wait, what? God damn it, you made me You're gross! Yeah, I don't want hairball, but... And if you get women alone, all we'll do is talk about, like, gross shit, like farting. Oh, gosh. Poops and periods and all that stuff. Oh, yeah. This is not something I'll be uploading to YouTube later. Yeah, you will. Yeah, you will. For the best of 2017. Why don't you take a picture of your hands? I'm taking pictures of cool dick crystals. I got big hands, boys. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. I got big hands. Center post live. We need to put that on my denim jacket and a poster. Zero fire, how you doing darling? There you go. Extra ball. Oh, I got one of the toys again. What do you mean? Uh, comedy, yes. Google it. That was just debunked. The Facts of Life brought to you by JetFlip and Blue Continental. Can I just get some fucking points, please? Oh, oh, oh! Point! Look at this! Up high, oh... Oh, come on! You did so well! You completed your mission! Offline! Why did you go offline? Hey, can you... I'm not fucking offline. You just don't know how to use Twitch. You're looking at your own channel, you dickhead! No, I clicked on Deadflip and I saw the chat. No, here, do this. Go to following. That's what I did. Deadflip. Baboosh. We're live. Baboosh. No, look. Can you thank Shaggy Scoots? Internet, you see this? See how it says Deadflip went offline? I'm not offline, dog. What did you do to my stream on your phone? I broke I need you to thank Shaggy Scoops for me. Thanks Shaggy Scoops. Why? Shaggy Scoops, welcome to the league. You're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, flip or the buzz up if you could for my buddy Shaggy Scoops. Show me what you got, little mama. Show me what you're working on. Oh, Max the buzzer. extra buckler. Can I have some of that guy's food back there? Again, there's more people with food? What life extra buckler? I think those are cyber bullies behind us, Internet. Flip it and bust up if you could for Shaggy. Shaggy, I freaking love you, man. I love you too, Shaggy. I think, I don't know. Why did you say JetFlip went offline? I don't know, Are you? Hold on, let me check your text messages. No, don't look at my private messages. Wait, was the last message you checked from me? Yeah. I don't text very many people. Guys. I don't even text my mom. I text my dad. Yeah, fuck pinball. What's that dude eating? Chinese food? Yeah, they're cappuccinos. Why is it they have wine? It's totally offline, bro. Give me that 20. Here we go. Double. No, it didn't work. It did work. No, it didn't work. Yeah, no, look. 20, 20. No, but it didn't pick 20. Dude, are you sexting? Why is it not working? Crystal. Whose internet are you using? Oh, you're on Sprint. Sprint and I are having a tip right now. Guys, by the way, Chrisley used a sprint. If you're trying to hack her personality. You can hack my personality. It's too original. Can't hack it. Fucking sprint. I'm cute. Internet, ban yourselves. There's people behind you, so now you have to talk about dicks, tits, and squirting even louder. Okay. It's just this? Did you know that? Cool, babe. It's just all this. Sprint. Sprint and iron. Oh, I mean Comcast. Deadlift shows offline can be seen on my phone. Really? Okay, here we go. I'm going to kill the mouse. I'm going to kill the mouse in a round. I just want to hit that ramp. I'm very upset. I would like to leave tonight hitting that ramp. No, it's a golf line on my phone too. What the fuck? I'm going to look up quick and see if I can get a quick report. Okay. So what is the percentage for that ramp? Nope! Guys, two minutes ago they just announced that there's a problem. Thanks. No, it's not this liquid. It's the rainbow liquid. I think it's racist. Hold on. Let's send a text message from Crystal's phone. No, let's send a text message to nobody. That's my fault. I'm not showing you my password. You know what? I don't need it. Hold on. Text Mom, I want a hump. Text Mom. Oh, you... Have you ever updated this phone? I just had Siri disabled. What? What? Bye, Bob. I used too much garlic. Your mom used too much garlic in her butt. Oh! Garlic boot. Text me a 312 pinball. Yancy. Is that really your phone number? Because that would be... It's too fast! No, it'll pass. It's still beating me. It's still gonna beat you. Let's go. Let's go. Are you serious? Are you serious? Oh my god. Can someone ban Crystal from chat right now, please? No! There's a profile going on in the background. No! No! You son of a... Oh boy. Hey Siri, what's my name? Call me Daddy. But you have to call me Daddy. Get those guys doing their thing. Their fingers are fucking gross with Chinese food slime. No. That guy's lips were the wettest lips I've ever seen in my life. There's no possible way of letting that dude touch this pinball machine. Give me that phone. Your phone? No, yours. Oh, come on, you trying to fuck with me? I'm not allowed to fuck with you? No, you're not allowed to fuck with me. That's not cool. What the fuck is Chopstick? He's using this goddamn thing. Stegie, you're the best. Stegie, I love you, buddy. Extra ball. You're a bad coach. You didn't tell me the percentage of memory. Oh, you want to know? I don't even know it. Nickelodeon slime out? Text mom I want to hug you and take your truck. Listen, you don't want to text my mom because she will respond with some dirty photos. Woo! Cool mom. Cool mom. More like...butthole. Where is that? It's like halfway down. But from a cradle, it's so different from a cradle. Suck my dip. You want to get one? No. I lost the pinball. Get thrown full of baby mamas. Baby mamas? He's only got one baby. Well, okay. Okay, we'll go with the Christmas thing. Oh, and here's the rant! Alright, 16-year-old, an 8-year-old, and then Charlie. She gets it. Who is 9-1-1. Beat that danger again. Cheers, buddy. Laura's terrible. We're divorced. No, just a lie. I saw him FaceTiming earlier. They're great. They're called pathetic. Who was that face to me? A baby! Yeah, not my wife. Oh. You go first. I'm going to get another drink. You want a drink? What do you want? Tell him that game is saying it's... Old style, what is it? PBR? Yeah, PBR. I don't want to drink old style anymore. Not expensive. It's like Old Man? I saw a kid on another channel sneeze during a pinball game and he continued to play. Polar Bear, if someone's like squeezing into their hand and then playing, I would then ask them to clean off the flipper buttons with their mouth as I am fisting, punching, um, a pillow. What am I talking about? Here we go. High score. Don't even. Give me the ball! My god. I still have to tear all this gear down. I'm getting I think you should drink this. In what fucking universe? The Chinese look super good! Internet, someone just walked by, a gentleman, wearing a bandana around his neck. Now, that was the style of choice for all people at parties in 2006. There he is again. Um, good, good job. Why are you doing this? You're definitely not listening to Sugar We're Going Down by Fall Out Boy. Paul, I love you. I can't say I recommend that Chinese place next door, Kazza, my man. He's looking for fight, wait, which guy? Behind me? No, there's some munching some pierogies or some shit, dude. Look at that bro's wet fish. What's going on, buddy? How you doing? The guy with the bandana? Yeah, he, uh... It's either he either wanted a fight or, like, a shirtless dance party. Both of which I'm happy to oblige. Yeah. You see that dude that walked in with a bandana around his neck? Hello 2006, am I right? How do you feel? Yeah, I know, you're trying to f every dude walking in here. No, I don't want to f anybody, I just want to remember. Look, I swear, calm down with the monogamy stuff, okay? For now, for now! This one person nonsense is bullshit. You know what isn't natural? One person. Listen. With one person. It's not natural. I'm not going to overshare. I'm not going to overshare. No, but you know what? He's got that good dick. I got that good dick. What? It's that one person for now. Shirtless fight party? Oh my god, let's go! Crystal, you are not allowed to do worse than me. Good. We're tied, essentially. Jack made me drunk. No, Jack's not drunk. Crystal's drunk. Jack, you're not drunk. I'm feeling pretty drunk. You know what it is? It's we're at the same level. Usually you're more than I am. All women have that good D. I know I do. No, uh-uh. This is the first time I've ever had good D. Woo! Because that's what we all love. Yes, you said that in front of me, which hurts my feelings. Um, I'm sorry, finish that sentence. The only GF I've had from you is your dickish attitude. I'm the biggest dick you've had. Attitude what? The only GF I've had from you is your damn good pinball coaching. Aww, gross. I'll find out. Oh, I gave up on that. Oh my god, it's 8 o'clock. Twitch is having an issue right now with going live. It's okay. Nice trapping. You've got the trappings of a good player. I'm a pro trapper. Can we get Nick Campbell to come back to Chicago and be a guest? Why? Nick's a fucking asshole. I hate that kid. JK, he's a skier now. No, not now. He was great. Nick Campbell, if you're watching, here's what I've got to say to you. Right? Typical white dude. Skiing. Instagramming. Get out of here. Every day. All the time. Can someone write a bunch of hearts for Comedy Logic and tell them that you won my heart. Aww. This is how Nick Campbell plays pinball. Here's the deal. Nick Campbell plays pinball like this. He's playing the table flip game correct. He's pushing it lightly and flipping it lightly. Like that. Oh, my God. No. This is all about choking and slapping. Oh, my God. Oh, shut up. Oh, my God. and get greedy. That's what happens. Yeah, I hit that ramp. Am I more than you? Forget for yet. I've been trying to tell you anything. Whatever happened to rollerblading? I don't know, man. Does that step into my... Do you remember rollerblading? No. Skiing Instagramming here in Michigan. Please don't like sex. No. Absolutely. Shaggy, I'm just... I'm resting on my laurels. right now. Whatever that means. I don't know what that means. Remember Laurel and Hardy? I'm just a lesson in Memphis that you're just a learning lesson. Fuck my butt. Come on, buddy. Oh, Jack! What? I'm not into pegging and I will not do it. No, no, no. That's not what I'm going to ask. You like emo music, right? I'm in front of my greasy lips for undressing. Do you want to go to emo night? Where? Uhh... Cooke? In Dubai? No. In Paris? Bata Manos. Bata Manos? Tonight? No, no, not tonight, in April. That's from like four years. Four years. So melodramatic. So melon. So... You know, for Coulon, more often she has a certain... Melon dramatic. ...insert French word. It's only because I got laid and I'm drunk. Yeah. She really seems like a massive bitch. I'm so, I'm so worried. I'm like a full-on, like, I'm like a full-on drunk. I'm like a full-on drunk. I'm like a full-on drunk. That's a word. I'm like a feminazi. Insert French words, please do. I heard emu night, not emo. Do you like emu? April equals four years from now. She just told us this is the first time in her life she's had the good to eat, and then she tells us she's resting on her laurels. I've seen those old JD photos where he could have been in Fall Out Boy. He wore a bandana around his neck. And shirtless. And a fedora. Now you look like a grown-up. Sayin' I'm old, bitch. I farted. Where'd you get that? You want it? Where? Do you have a quarter? Uh, I can get one. Gonna get that whompy hair. Oh, spoopy, I'm sorry. Yeah, comedy, what's up? There is more than you thought before, yeah Internet, thanks for hanging out. I'm, like, I am three freaking sheets right now. That is for sure. Oh, God. I guess we can play a night game sometime. No, we're good. Oh, you just need to go home? It just, um, we started losing a lot of people because it's kind of a one-trick pony after the one. I think the most fun you'll have on it is when you hit start and don't plunge, that you get to make it scream heavy in the middle. And that's where it stays. Is there room for another column? Absolutely, let's go. I'll even let you start a song. Oh, we have great. This is, uh, Zephie, ladies and gentlemen. Nice. Proprietor of said establishment. Hi, Yancey. You fixed the lights. Oh, oh! Don't you... Hey, Yancey, I can blame, usually, but I'm not. Wow! Oh, who put this light around my neck? You're right. Blame, blame... Okay, Christmas, Christmas, you got it. I would love to hit something. You gonna hit on that? Crystal? No, that's my boss. That's rude. You gonna hit him? Hiya, fella. Dylan says you're cute. Thanks, Dylan. He's not talking about you. Oh, thank you. You're welcome, Dylan. Sorry about it. You're welcome, Isbe. I think you're welcome works incredibly well. Ah! Go for the hole. What's the hole? The ramp to the right. I hate that ramp. I hate it. You can't backhand. I know I can't. You've been whacking poetic. I have been whacking poetic. I have been last thing. Okay, stop yelling at me. I mean, keep hitting it. It's getting money. If you shoot the ramp, I think it makes that wall come back up. Ramp, ramp, ramp. Ramp, ramp, ramp. Ramp, ramp, ramp. Ramp, ramp, ramp. Oh, no. Remember when a pinball machine came out called dialed in? You know what? Just on Steve Malone, it felt like out of touch. Cellular phones! Everybody's driving around with their car phone. It was fun to shoot on, yeah. I had a really good time shooting on it. The theme was the biggest miss I've seen in a very long time. It's actually fun to shoot. Alright dude, yeah you get to play in the... That game's been in existence for a very long time. Yeah. Homebrew P-Run. That's been, I think, at every pinball thing I've gone to since I've been into pinball. Motherfather! You know, is he there in future papa? With the change of the papa, I think he's the retention speaker. They're not in the same facility anymore? This is the last year in that facility. Oh, really? Alright, well, I would go. Who's that dude? This guy owns the place. Oh, the bankers own the place. Yep! Dialed in is awesome. Okay. I liked it. I mean, I didn't play it hardly at all, but I played one whole game at Expo, and then I played a whole game using my cell phone. Wait, what? Yeah. That's great. I thought the cell phone was just for AP. You can pull out your cell phone and Bluetooth connect to the machine and use it. It's left-foot for right-foot for it. Really? And it immediately responds. That's almost terrifying how like, when you hit it, it goes, you know, really following it. When you're doing this, though, sometimes it's a kick, moving it. I think that's why you're playing it to your own success. Now, the guys are there, and they've put through the points, and they have the time. That all fits. So, I'm trying to get every one of the ones that came through it, as a big file says, it's not how hard you plan it. There you go. There you go. Go around the corner. There you go. Go around the corner. Go around the corner. Monitory. There you go. Monitory? Monitory. It's like hands at 3 and 9. Rangfaw, welcome back. Here's the duck. Hi, Rangfaw. What do I need to do? Make the money. No whammies. No. No. No. No. No. No. So you might be watching and I'm going to be streaming also. What should you stream on? I'm streaming Junkyard. A lot of people were asking that. And I've never been able to stream because it's not streamed in this area. So the highlight is that. But now that I'm streaming like an hour later, it's not streamed. Take a break. I promise he's flipping it for you though. Yeah, you know what? I'll flip you. Oh no! I lost my... All that time! Ah! Scooby-Dooby-Doo! Crystal, stop sending me gross photos. It's really strange to flip on... Oh, Mario Kart. Mario Kart. Oh, baby! That was a waste of time. Do you ever stream old school Bally's... wait, do you ever stream old school Bally AS? SS? Polar Bear, I stream absolutely everything. If you want an EM from the frickin' 50s, if I have access to it, I'll scream the shit out of it. There's no discrepancies. Is this a new computer? Your mom's a new com- ahhhh! That's so rude! I didn't even finish my sentence, asshole! Calm down! Oh no, I'm sorry, this is me blowing it. We were doing a selfie. We were doing a selfie. Are you fucking 40? That was a really stupid picture. So un-Pretty-O-Genic. Me? Yeah. Look at the work. I'm so un-Pretty-O-Genic. I'm so un-Pretty-O-Genic. I'm so un-Pretty-O-Genic. I'm so un-Pretty-O-Genic. I'm the most genic. Oh my god. Wow! Hit that trap! Hit that trap, queen! It's gonna hit this ramp 30 times. What?! Don't... Ah! Ah! Oh my god, fuck it! Goddammit. Holy shit! No! Why didn't I put on it you garbage human? Teller... Valiant. That right there disqualifies me from this. Look at how close that door is. Oh, is this where I'm going? Okay, you have one danger warning for some reason. Oh yeah. That probably appears right. The tilt of the machine is a little tender. It is not. We've been roughing this up. I'm gonna pull the garbage. You're a band in my head. I'm quite fond of how close this score is. I'm half-genic. I actually need to take a picture of that. Aw, I get it. Capgenic? Belly made some great machines back in the day, I agree. Alright, you are not allowed to document a score that is not fucking done, ya ding dong. I'm just happy that it's ball three and that's how close I am. Like, look at how close it is, it's really cool! Look, I'm winning! No, I'm saying no, I'm really close to the person who taught me a lot of shit about pinball and I just lost my ball. Take a photo right now. It's gotta work up. It's gotta work up. Me etc. What's going on dude? You have too many tilky notes. Did you know? You said no. I did not know that. Did you know you can connect your Amazon Prime to your Twitch account and get a free sub every 30 days to your favorite streamer, aka Jack Danger? You wanna take a photo now? I don't wanna take any photos. Crystal, you're the shit. I get cocky. Crystal, you smell like shit. Excuse me? It smells delicious. Ram. Almond cake. What the fuck is an almond cake in LA? It's an almond. And cake. Gotcha. All right, one more, baby. Here we go. Give me the ball. Valley FMG. Well, that's a loaded statement. What have I done? I wanted to backhand that so bad. What? You backhanded that? It's called a backflip. You gotta let it out onto the flip. Random hoodie guy. Jack Hinder sounds like a spy movie franchise. It should. International Man of Green. A pinball? Soon? I'm going to answer that. I'm gonna... Whoever said I'm going to Amsterdam? I'm going to Australia. Your shit comment just made me drain my multiball. Yeah, deal with it. I love your fucking teacher. I love your teacher. Wait, did you say teacher? I love your teacher. I love your teacher. How do you do that? What? Split? Let me mansplain something to you. Motherfather! Jacksplained? Damn. I'm sorry. Goddammit. He's asked if he let us win because that's how cool of a guy he is. Do you have a Logan Arnett t-shirt? No. You should get one. They exist? Yeah. They sell them at the bar, you dum-dum. How much are they? 80, no. What the fuck was this? Yeah, where did that go? It's in the shooter lane. I'm going to check in a minute. It, like, uh, it jumped. Timbal Undesirables, thank you for the hook. I am headed to Portland this month. Did you guys know that if you live in Seattle or Portland, you can probably hang out with them? You live in Portland? Oh my god. I'm sure all of them know they can smoke Mar-a-rana. Dance lady. Yeah, it's a real thing. Did you just mansplain marijuana to me? Hey! Comedy! Thanks for hosting this. Comedy is the best, buddy. Singer. Meow meow meow! Where the hell did 60 million come out of my buckle? 70. 270. Do it. Give up. Give us. Get the keys. He gets the keys. I spent... I know, I know. Five American dollars. I prefer the edibles. Me too, Wonko. I don't do marijuanas, but... Edibles. Let me tell you something. Entertain the internet. I'm gonna go get some coins. Here, wait, wait, wait. Let me give you money. I'm gonna split your face. I'll take my money. I can't entertain anybody. I'm a garbage human. You can't mansplain if you're a woman, though. I mansplain all the time. I tell dudes how to play pinball. It's funny. There's three credits on this game. Why'd they all work out? Ma'am, don't... There's three credits on here. You're a stupid jackass. You're a hot chick. Maybe half a second. What if I said, don't punch that, there's a bomb attached to it? And you just punch. You didn't want to wait. You're like, I'm just going to do this. I can only wait a little bit, baby. Do not let these guys tell you that you're entertaining or attractive or that you smell good. They don't know how I smell. I smell like beer. Euphemism. Simon, what did you say? I'm hollow. Oh, comedy. aww what's a suppository nothing what's a suppository with you cut the fuck off hey can we stream on my pinball machine next week I gotta fix that reel um we can but we'll have to do like individual or three player and skip player too but no that's what I'm saying I have to do the reel do you want to stream fixing it no I'll fix it and then we'll stream I'm sorry All right, don't be a tad. Choose it. Jaded, I am not an old, turny fart eater. I am the new smell hotness Eh old hotness Smells like fart No it smell like fart Oh now I feel bad about myself Oh no Don't do that. That's terrible. Now I feel bad about myself. Laughing my ass off. Yeah, me too. Can I get a la-mow in chat, please? Can I get a la-mow and some butts? I can't take it anymore! Barn finds are full of moose. You know what I missed? I missed Iron Man. There's a moose loose in the hoose. Iron Man is a great pinball machine. I love that pinball machine so much, and I miss it. Um, by the way, Wax, thank you for the bits, dude. You're freaking nuts. Can I get a Lamau in my butt? Yes. One Lamau coming up. Here you go. Woo! Guys, did you know that I live two blocks away from the old William Pinball facility? Oh! Okay. Can I call you a story? Uh, more like five. Like a short story. I started frequenting a, an American Legion that's a block away from my house. So, do they do a lot of karaoke and dance parties there? Nope. Then why are you going there? Because it's cheap drinks. Awful people. Old dudes pinching your ass. Nobody pinches my ass. It's telling you. Nobody pinches my ass. If they did, I would kick them in the mouth. But, I started talking to Listen, I wouldn't be angry if you pinched my ass right now. Yawn? Oh, comedy. You said comedy, I liked it. Internet, thank you for pissing me off. Thank you for pissing me off. Mike Tori already has too many fucking twists. Ah, Crystal. Yawn. LaMou. Great story, bro. Internet, if you're having trouble with this story, give me a cool story, Bob. Alright? Look for the emotes if you can't type it out. Give me a cool story, Bob. Punk! Crystal is a pistol. You done skittin'? Alright, tell me a story. There's a cliffhanger. So this fella, this old fella, and I start talking to him about pitfalls. The guy that you were talking about who you just had sex with. No, no, no, no, no. He's got a crystal, that's who, He's like, oh, I used to work for Bally Midway back in the day, probably like 80. I don't know. And he said, yeah, you know, I worked with Mark Ritchie. And he was a quality assurance. Like, he tested a lot of machines. And he told me the story about how when Mark Ritchie was working there, he had a girlfriend who also worked there. and there was something that happened that they broke up and she went over the loudspeaker and just started spit-talking him, like over... 70s and 80s, man, let me tell ya. Bucks giving it a zero. There's a person called the Crystal Pistols. I watched her hanging out with Ed Ed Robertson all night. He did not seem to think she smelled bad or was uninteresting. What is .357? Sorry. Um, I don't know. I'm on a look. Careful. Careful. You're making Crystal touch my computer, guys. Calm down with your crazy messages. The opposite. Cliffhanger! What did you do? What's a .357 mean? It's like an alcohol thing, man, I don't know. How's it gone? Dirty Harry. A bullet caliber. You ain't that gone, are you? Someone set you as a pistol. Boys! Bonham House Rams! Man. That's a good one. What's that? What's that? A good one. I'm going to show you. Oh, man. That's a good one. I'm going to show you. That's a good one. Oh, man. That's a good one. Oh, man. Oh, man. That's a good one. Oh, man. Oh, man. I want you to guess the age and And a number of sexual offenses of the gentleman behind the box. Damage Inc., what's going on, dude? Stream needs more Malort. Chasm, no effing way, man. Hit pause. I'm sorry. It wasn't a great story. It was just cool to meet an old dude who used to work for Williams. Cool story, Bob. He had a money button that had the Williams logo on it. Bullshit. It means you use a freaking poser. Huh. Listen, old people can be posers, too. Pokers? I said pokers. Pokers. How many pokers? I don't know. Yeah, we had one of those. Pinpops, I'm sorry. I went to the bathroom. It is cool to need all two. I agree. I guess he had to be there. Don't you dare talk while I'm playing pinball. It's distracting. Okay. Story of my life. Fifteen and three, my man. Go see a man. I like drinking. I like draining. Is your birthday coming up? My birthday was the 19th of February, and I had to work through it. Sorry, Pickle. Happy birthday. Thank you, buddy. Happy birthday. Thanks for not acknowledging it. I did hide it from Facebook, which means not a lot of people knew to say happy birthday, and Phil's fucking birthday, man. Saddest dude on the internet right now. Oh, that's it. That wasn't the end. Oh wait, we're about through. Alright, now's my chance! Gotta... I just got my shopping bag of food. Well, he's gone now, but he did have a lot of food. No! You son of a bitch! Thanks, Comedy, I appreciate it. Happy birthday. Who's Jeffrey Jones Jr.? Not me. Hold on, check this out. Um... Marketing, branding, market research and graphic design, smartass, devil's advocate, runner, pepperoni pizza eater and zombie movie aficionado. That's a lot of stuff. You use every character, my man. Thank you for the follow. Who is that? Monthly triangle pinball player, stealthy league, explorer, deck... wait, what? Which guy is that on the chat? Is that comedy? No, I don't think that's anybody. Wait, you guys aren't streaming me right now, are you? Oh my god, don't do that. Guys. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bad news bears. So remember we were talking about all that squirting stuff? Hi, don't birthday on Facebook. Who does that? I don't. Dude. If you want to know what my Facebook is, then you need to follow me on MySpace. MySpace? No. You're kind of monster. MySpace. My foot call me monster one more time I will unplug you Same shooters shoot again Yeah, check out that my space link Or that YouTube link God I am wrong I'm 40 freaking 8 and I broadcast my birthday like a man! Well funny, because I'm not a man. I'm an attack helicopter. Wow, I'm a spoon! Oh, you're doing great, Jack! Thanks, Dad. I mean spoon. Good job, son! Cheese overloaded. I ate too many cheese. Oh, that's my last. Oh, God. Shrill and fake. It's not fake. It's genuine. Genuine. That's a virgin laughing right there. Nuh-uh. No, sir. Finally, not after last night. And Friday. I don't... Nobody cares. I certainly do not care to know. Wait a minute. It sure is fun to joke about that. Wait a minute. I know it was me. Calm down. If you had a buddy. A butt-dy. If you had a buddy. I do not do the kitchen tell-tale. Oh, really? Not with any of you? I don't give a fuck. Some dude's like, man, I was railing this chick. I'm like, dude, calm the fuck down. Great. I'm glad that you learned how to pick a thing in a thing. What if it's in a year? I'm proud of you. Why would it ever be a year for any human being? I guess it's difficult for some people. Oh my God. It happens. Or it doesn't happen. I don't laugh at all. Internet, welcome to the best pinball stream on the Internet. I have a sex talk all the time. But... This is Love Line with Dr. Danger and Adam Carolla. I'm just going to stop laughing. He's never going to laugh again. Good job, Jack. You beat me. Thanks, Dad. Let's go. I would love to mouser around some more. Cheers, friend. Boop. Are you supposed to drink? Oh, yeah. Oh, no, you did bad luck. Oh, I should go home. For real, my dad got taken away because he was abusive and I didn't help him. Oh, come on. Deep talk. Crystal sounds like Kathy Griffin. Ugh. That is so mean. So, just look, I looked you up on IMDB last night. Your profile is perfect. perfect. Do not, okay, iBlue, here's the thing. I was not a baby in fucking 1994. That is so rude. I love you too, iBlue. My IMDB profile picture is my life, okay? I was not an infant in 1994. In 1994, I was spitting on infants while I was smoking cigarettes and getting drunk off of... You were smoking cigarettes in 1994? Let's see. How old was I in 1994? I was looking to eighth and eighth in 1994. So you... Yes. I was actually a full-time smoker by then. Yes. I don't want a jack-o'-lantern picture. Excuse me, boys. I'm right here. No, I said I don't want it. Oh, right. Peter Griffin's wife. You ever seen the TV show Family Guy? Yeah, and he's obnoxious. Peter? I'd rather be compared to other attractive women. You remind me of like a very astute Helen Keller. No, she doesn't talk. I talk a lot. I talk a lot! Oh, why do I play pinball? Let me count the waves. Pinball is terrible. Oh, it's the worst. Because men ruin everything. Oh, yeah, they do. Rude! I'm here to make sure everyone's having a good time. Why do I even play pinball? Why? Just saying, now you make me feel bad. Aww. I love you. Thank you, Z3R0F5R3. First off, you're in fucking America. There is no Z-E-V in that name. Yeah, it's Z-E-R... Zero fire? Zero fire. Zed3R0FIR3Z He came out of the room with a cigarette in his mouth. Zed. Wee wee wee! Wee wee wee! She said Zed. Unbelievable. Zed said Zod. Yes. I looked up Kathy Griffin and you do sound like her. Oh. Oh, my God. It's like the most American-sounding woman of all time. I do. I'm not an American. I'm not an American. Oh, God. That's fucking... I'm chicken. Yeah. Put it in your belly. Zed Leplin. Yes. Hi, Blue. Thank you for the 50 bucks. All right. Here's where we get... A what? A butt-fucking? A bottom... A bottom score. Here, start us off. Really? Here's the deal. How are you feeling? Great. Are you... If you had to leave, when would you leave? 30 minutes. From now? Yeah, 9 o'clock. 9 o'clock. Okay. Are we going to have another drink? I think we'll drink another one. Oh, you don't smoke, you. I don't want to see you smoke. Yeah, me either. Yeah. I like fun. I want to turn over. You can, on your next call. There's more than one ball. Did you know that you get more than one ball when you play Crystal? Really? Listen, I'm not sure if you're familiar with Ping Pong, but you get three balls. So... That's safe, though. But, like, when do you play? Well, I always play because I'm a guy and I know what the fuck I'm doing. Please! So if I aggressively hit the flip-flops, like, all the time, I'll win, right? Yeah, just hit both of them at the same time. Uh, they're pro-skill. Oh, yay! You'll never lose. That's a rant. Y'all. Pumps in a bump! Let's talk about rude. I'm rude. Do you remember that song, Pumps in a Bump? I don't know what you're talking about. Pumps in a bump. Pumps in a bump. We like the girls with the pumps in a bump. So, it's, I think it was MC Hammer, thinking about, uh, thinking about, girls wearing pumps, on their feet. Do you know what a pump is? It's like a shoe. I don't know if you call those like... What is that in Canadian? You have two pairs. You have two pairs, so you have four pumps. I'm also a four-pump person. Also a four-pump person. So, pumps and bumps all about having problems this year. The players are getting wet. Wait, so you stick your shoes in someone's bottom? Not pumps in a bump, pumps and a bump. That's what said Spider said. It's not pumps in a bump. Why would someone put their pump... I mean, listen. I watch some... I watch... What's a pump? I watch some stuff. I'm a two pump chump. What's a two pump chump? It only takes you two pumps. You know what I'm saying? I can't figure out if that's really sexy or really boring. Two pumps?! Why does that seem sexy? That's why you're a chump. Two pump chumps. Gotcha. Oh, that's embarrassing. Ball three, are you kidding me? What have we been doing? Playing ping pong over here? Yo, uh, all my two pump chumps out there, here's something that's gonna make me... No, it's not a... You have an extra ball with you, Gillen. I know! You're a... you're a... you're a telltale! Have you been on the glider? Yeah, probably. Sure. Two good punks. Wait, are they... are they... are they... never mind. They're the two best punks you've ever had! Oh no! They're terrible! Girl... I heard there's a really attractive, handsome owner of this place who blows pinball. Maybe I'll take a spin, yo. Okay. What's up? Yeah. I heard that guy's totally handsome, but he's doing pinball. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Handsome men can't play pinball. It's a fact out there, cunt. He's still good looking. It like blinds him. He can't do it. It's the glare. My man. Oh, there's my man. Eskabal is lit! No, I already got Eskabal. Oh. Eskabal is still lit. Where? Just lit. Wax, thank you very much. He's just being a good guy over here. Ren Klaue, love you buddy. Aw, sweet pie. I think the last time you saw me naked was like 1999. No, the last time that I was this John Jacob Dingle Hammered. I like that. On your screen. It was on my birthday two years ago. One year ago. One and a half, one and... Are you telling me you're feeling pretty lit right now? Yeah. Your birthday is in March? March, yes. I am a... Pythies. A... Pythies. A Leo. You're a Leo? No, I'm a Virgo. Oh, Virgos like to fucking party, dude. Why is there white stuff on the top? Look up. On the screen. Oh, it's the lyrics. I know. Lousy Smarts Carl Weathers? That's a Thin Sins thing. You wouldn't know. Calm down. I wouldn't know because everyone talks about the Thin Sins all the time. You know who sucks? Tracy Ullman. Oh! Are you angry? So angry right now? No. I don't care. I like Tracy Ullman though. Isn't that like a job? Did you? What? I like it. I like it. Both of them. Did you know that Pimpy's got their start on my fucking dick? Yeah. You guys hear, like, some really attractive guys playing pinball earlier? I heard a couple of them were over here. You know, I don't know. One of them was a thief who stole my heart, right? That's embarrassing. That is an embarrassing score. I'm going to win. Good luck. Cheer me on it. Garbage friend. Garbage friend that hates you. Mazda, the right, the ramp on this game, the upper ramp, is not where you think it would be. Are you talking about... It's like halfway up the clicker from a crane. Taco Pizza! For eight months in a row. Much rapido. Thank you for maintaining your membership to the league. You're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, flippers and butts up for El Taco Le Pizza. I want Taco. I want a Taco Pizza. I want Taco. Have you had... Taco Pizza sounds like a heart attack. It sounds like a literal... Girl, you ain't fat enough. Flippers and butts up. Oh! That was a compliment. Shut your mouth. Why doesn't it show that I'm subscribed? Because you stopped paying me money, fool. I'm not paying you money. I took the money out of my bank account. Oh, then type something. What do I type? Hello. Type lowercase. Yeah, you're subscribed. I just want a call out on the screen. So, blue continental there in chat, that's Crystal. What's this toast? I want pizza taco. Oh my god, a fucking pizza taco? Dude. That sounds incredible. Nude. Nude, that sounds incredible. Put on my nudes. Goodbye, NH Polar Bear. See ya, Polar. You're a lovely human, I guess. Oh, hit it again! Hit it again! I'm not an old 34-eater. But... Played by the kickback. You know what, it's actually not worth going for the hole. Why? Because it brings the gate back up on the ramp, and the ramp for 100,000 a shot. Did you see that? No. I can play him over there. I can play Huma when I'm in the game. No, you do. So when you knock down the ramp... No, I don't have an extra ball. When you knock down the wall, every time you shoot that, it's 100,000 points. That's huge. Yeah. You can do that all day. Yeah. But if you do it enough times, it says go for the ramp or the hole. Yeah. If you shoot up there, it gives you like a fucking award, but it brings the wall back up. And this is dangerous to knock down. Oh. Yeah. So just shoot that until you're fucking finished. Yeah. And the safest thing to do is obviously not on the fly, but if you shoot that from the right flipper to get it started, when it comes over it, you hold that flipper up, the ball will pop over here, and it's an easy shot back up there. Hold it up, pop over, $100,000 all day, all day. Oh, baby. Oh, baby, I love it. Internet. If I had to ask you what your favorite color is, what would it be? Going for the hole is what living is all about. Blue. I mean, I'm in. Blue. Listen. All they are. Blue. Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue. As a strict cis male, I'll tell you, holes are disgusting. Really? Wait, what? I mean, I love holes. Actually, I think no matter what you are, holes are amazing. Oh, yeah. Always, but I'm black. Holes all day. Green is my favorite color. It's got, like, money. and problematic cuts that turn into must-build wounds. Listen, I like blue when I'm feeling cool, and I like red when I'm feeling sexy. You're feeling sexy? Yeah. What if you're feeling like shit? Sam offers 22 months in a row, dude. Thank you for maintaining your interest to the league. You're amazing, ladies and gentlemen. Flubber the bus! Thank you for the air. Pew pew pew. Pew pew pew. No! I don't want those! Brown of course. Brown? Wait, what's the color of poop? That's the color that I like. Whatever poop it is. What just happened? I heard a knocking sound. Which one is poop? Which one is poop? Which is poop? Yeah, all that. No, I know. Remember to hold that skid up though, because it will save your life. God damn. Slow and safe is boring, but it will get you all the points. No! Hold it. Phew. Hazel. Phew, phew, phew. Hazel is what I call my butt hole. Hazel? Sounds like a name for a motorcycle. You know what? I've never, I did not give my new motorcycle a name. Sam Law, by the way, I love you. Thank you so much. Yeah? I've had her for a while. Wow, that's great. She's a 2004 Harley Road King. 16 inch 8 pants. It is a bit of a dresser. Oh. I will fucking make out with you all day mouthing around. Puzzletop. Puzzletop. Puzzletop. I fuck with that. I can't do that! That's like, that's too grisky! Nothing grisky! Please! That's too much! You're too much strong! I'll never go for the hold! I hate holds! No, shut your mouth! Wait, is it still giving me 100,000, though? I don't know. I'm at 2.5. Am I at 2.6 now? That's so... no, that's just your encryption. Yeah, I'm still at 2.6. Sister, sister, you're the proudest of all And you know that you're the only one I will never shoot the hole The traps are ready though, which I will shoot for No, I fucked up! Ow! Not good. Motorhead! Dude, Chad, thank you so much. I love you. Jack him up and around. How about baby pins? This is how baby pins are made. You know where this one's come from? You're about to find out. Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you. Who do you think you're looking for? What are you fucking doing? Alright, we're going to try to backflip this. Are you ready? Here we go. I fucked up. Here we go. Nope, a little more. Too much! Alright, now what? I'm trying to backflip it. Like this. this. Your mama's so fat. How fat is she? Your mama is so big and fat that she can get busy. Which one of the two burritos is behind this double pata in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs? Your mama's fat. Your mama smokes crack. She's got a burn in the ear and there's no turning back. Listen, your mama's got an afro with a chin strap. Your Mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand. Listen, comedy, I don't know what your problem is. I will fight you. Shit! I mean, poop. I have the voice of an angel, too. You sure do, Dad. Thanks, Mama. You sure do. I mean, Dad. Come on! Thank you, gender-neutral parents. No! Right there! My god, that didn't work. Your mama's got an eyeball with a fish on it. Yes, dude! Someone knows their far side. Bravo! Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama. Get the f- Oh my god. Can you stop murdering me? My ability to save the ball. Jack Daddy has the best voice. I appreciate it. I will fucking unplug this game right now. Million! I'm a big fan of the band. I'm a big fan of the band. I'm a big fan of the band. Saster Crastian, ZZ Top, that's my favorite band. Woo! I have nothing to say to you. Prove it. Prove it? It's hot, hold on. I proved nothing. Put your hand right here, then put your hand right here. in the middle and then feel right here. So? But, these are poppy. Uh huh. Cool. You know I put all my gear over by those, uh, um, um, um, freakin' uh, Killer Queen kids. Those guys are out of control. You're terrible. Oh, it was great. I had a great time. CBJ fan says hi Chris. Hi, CBJ fans! I'm glad you don't think that I sound like Patty. CBJ! That's the, uh, the Carolina Blue Jays. No, the Cincinnati Blue Jays, right? What's your favorite part of the year in the overall? Please don't talk to the health, ladies and gentlemen. It's very distracting for her. The Columbus Blue Jays. I know it's Hockey Dog. They call me Hockey Dog because I listen to Hockey Dog. He's up on the P.J. South there. Man, is anyone going to Apache East? Because there's some big shit happening with Ted Flint. and I need you to be there. Courtney, tune in. I only got six minutes. I'll play one more game, and then I gotta go. Alright, we'll play one more game, and then we gotta go. He's up on the PJ Salt. What is PJ Salt? Type PJ Salt in chat. It's the fucking salt in here. Alright. I'm always salty. This is the last game of the night. The winner gets to punch the other one in the testicles. I don't have those. Are you admitting defeat right now? No, I just don't have testicles. Then here we go. That's not fair. That's not fair. That's so mean. I'm a person. I don't have testicles, you stupid asshole. Can we get a quote on that please? I don't have testicles you stupid asshole. Crystal2017 Love you too Dylan. Well you do now. Rude. I'm going to eat so much garbage when I get home. I'm going to have a bowl of cereal. Make some mental notes if I have time to go to sleep. This is for physical... you're going to get punched in the nutsack. No I'm not. She's spicy as... Arté. No. Franz Kaka. No. This is a dildo. She's as spicy as red capers. Name one book he's written. What? Name one book he's written. Metamorphosis. Alright, I didn't say name the only book he's written. Name another book that he's written. The Apple. Okay, bravo. Suck my dick and touch my dick. And you know that you're my dick. My dick. My dick. No! I'm so easy. Internet, if you like what you see, please donate $500 for the person to the stream. Or don't. You're super amazing. Super content. And I will take out $500 from my bank account and make a brain on Gristlehead live on stream. And I get to keep all of that bra on. I just need to take off her shirt and leave some of her bra on. Because she's a respectful lady. And I got good bra on. See, she wears them good bras. I wear them, uh, Marona bras. Marona? Yeah! We got that Target fan here. Yes. No! I'm sorry for that. Please donate $500, it's free to do and I'll love you forever. No, don't call it that ever. See, I want you to start this next screening. Can't happen man. I will get banned so quick. You can wear that tight little number. I got a lot of tight little numbers. Oh, nice shot! Got a hot mic here, boys. Sorry. Sorry. If you had to say something deep and flow and sexy into the microphone, what would it be? I don't even want to hear it, so let them know. They can't see you, so they don't know who it is. Hey, random, strange girl, say something sexy into the microphone right now. Throw him right down. No, man! Nothing. I got nothing. Does Jack Clats stay lit? Oh, it does! Ball two? Get in the fucking hall you jerk! I'm coming! You mother... Night Sprinter, how dare you host me? I guess I'll entertain you. Hey everybody, my name's Jack Danger, I like long walks on your... No. Here's the thing. I enjoy long flights in Azeroth from waypoint to waypoint. Pony nudes and smoking dudes. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to have to pack up all this gear. Hey, who wants to come here and help me pack up all my gear? Crystal, I think, wins the take of shit. She has a tiny bladder. Kiel, I think what it is, I just, uh, I think it's in, it's relational, you know? Like, I don't pee unless I drink, like, 900 beers. I'll get it on the next plane. Let's go, Air Travolta. Swipe right, baby, let's go. Tonda Gosta. Alright. What would be 1,079,050 plus 309,580 together times 2 multiplied by green. That's easy to do. Green is alphanumeric. So whatever G is, whatever R is, E, E, those are numbers. Here comes Krusty. Oh, hey! I just got my stuff! Oh, baby! Shut up. Where did you go? It's so cool. I don't have a Fitbit. Yeah, what are you, like a 70-year-old grandma? Got to record how many times you step in. Crystal's back from the... Did you wash your hands? Yeah. Smells bad. Yo, the EP Express, what's going on? Crystal just came back from taking a shit. Did not wash her hands. I cannot find that damn shot. You know what? We're going to go with middle ramp. Here we go. One. Two. Breathe. Breathe. And then shoot the center ramp all day long. The story with Alien? Ghost, I will be streaming it on Monday, so tune in then and you can see first hand what the deal is with it. I'm pretty excited, honestly, to be able to stream that game. Did you wash your hands again? I washed them the first time. Like right now? As in the first time? Not being the time that you came out here with your dirty shit hands? Alright guys, we gotta kill the stream. Invited to suck an ass. Have a wonderful night, Internet. Crystal, do you have anything you want to say? What's in the sand? Well, you're all great. Really? What did I say? What? I said you're all great. Good night, Internet. All right, Internet, have a wonderful evening. I love you, and I'm in love with you. I will see you tomorrow. We will be streaming here again, probably on Junkyard. You guys want to see Junkyard and then maybe slip over and play some Wonelly? And hear some fart noises? I'm guessing. Joe's Thrusters, thank you for the call, buddy. You're all amazing and I want to make out with you. Yay! Alright, folks. Have a great night and don't beat each other up. Get some fried chicken. Oh my god, we're going to get fried chicken right now. Be good. and be good to each other. There you go. Bye, guys. What about straight guys, too? All of them. _(Acquisition: youtube_groq_whisper, Enrichment: v3)_ --- *Exported from Journalist Tool on 2026-04-13 | Item ID: ee3fda04-0af7-4f80-88fd-96f1f8ce9c3d*