SDTM Episode 91: Baywatch Pinball Machine Review

Straight Down the Middle·video·31m 37s·analyzed·May 12, 2019

Analysis

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TL;DR

SDTM reviews Baywatch (Sega 1995): excellent layout/shots but uninspired rules dampen overall appeal.

Summary

Straight Down the Middle reviews Baywatch, a 1995 Sega pinball machine designed by Jon Hey and Joe Kamikow. The hosts discuss the game's excellent playfield layout with numerous shots, solid mechanical design, and large DMD display, but criticize the uninspired code/modes, weak music/callouts, and overall lack of engagement despite acknowledging its technical merit as a well-designed shooter.

Key Claims

Baywatch has one of the best playfield layouts and shot variety for a shooter setup, comparable to or better than other Sega games
high confidence · Hosts extensively praise layout design, with one host calling it 'probably best setup ever made' and comparing it favorably to Oktoberfest in terms of shot density and playability
The game features a large DMD display that was a notable technical feature for its era
high confidence · Hosts repeatedly reference the large DMD display as one of the few standout innovations, discussing how large displays affect gameplay and visibility
The rules and code are uninspired and lack engaging gameplay moments despite being functional for the mid-1990s
high confidence · Host criticizes modes as 'vanilla,' 'white bread,' and lacking engagement: 'there's nothing there' for memorable moments despite acknowledging the shot-based structure works
The music and callouts are weak, with repetitive Baywatch name references typical of Sega's era
high confidence · Host gives D grade to music/callouts, stating 'you hear the same name Baywatch 100 million times' and complaining it's 'typical Sega'
The artist (Marcus Roth Krantz) included anatomically incorrect elements on cabinet artwork (camel toe reference)
medium confidence · Hosts briefly discuss a questionable artistic choice on the cabinet side art, though the discussion is vague and joking in nature

Notable Quotes

“this layout is a little more the [] out there's more to do or to shoot”
Host (Greg Bone or Zach Minney, unclear from transcript)@ 14:13 — Praising Baywatch's shot density compared to other games
“it's loaded before so would back it up with a high grade right is what it was shots toys are a different thing”
Host@ 19:02 — Distinguishing between playfield shots/layout versus mechanical toys/innovations
“there's nothing engaging I understand I know you come from I'm gonna unengaging”
Greg Bone@ 26:14 — Summarizing the core criticism: game lacks emotional/gameplay engagement despite technical competence
“you hear the same name Blackwater 100 million times”
Host giving music review@ 21:14 — Criticizing repetitive voice callouts as typical weak Sega audio design
“if you don't like Baywatch you don't like Sega you don't like the code or anything else you cannot deny that it doesn't have the shots”
Host@ 14:31 — Acknowledging the game's one clear strength: shot variety and playfield design

Entities

Straight Down the Middleorganization Baywatchgame SegacompanyJon HeypersonJoe KamikowpersonMarcus Roth KrantzpersonJeff BushpersonJack LydonpersonJohn CarpenterpersonLarry Dayperson

Signals

~
sentiment_shift: Baywatch maintains minor cult following despite poor rules; secondary market interest supports $2,500-$3,000 pricing for quality examples
medium · Host mentions 'cult classic people really try to bring this game back and make it popular' and cites specific pricing ranges for used examples
?
design_philosophy: Sega's mid-1990s pinball library (Baywatch, Frankenstein, Batman Forever) shared design patterns: large DMD displays, weak/repetitive audio, and uninspired rulesets despite solid mechanical execution
medium · Hosts discuss multiple Sega machines with similar criticisms about music/callouts and note that large displays don't guarantee engaging rules
?
design_philosophy: Joe Kamikow's playfield design prioritizes shot density and variety over deep rule engagement; Baywatch exemplifies accessible shooter layout philosophy with numerous targets and ramps
medium · Hosts repeatedly praise 'loaded' playfield with 'so much to do' and 'lots of shots,' comparing favorably to Kamikow's other designs like Oktoberfest

Topics

Playfield layout and shot designprimaryRules complexity and code engagementprimaryArtwork and cabinet aestheticssecondaryMechanical innovation and toyssecondaryMusic and voice calloutsprimaryTheme integration and enjoyabilitysecondaryComparative analysis with other Sega machinessecondarySecondary market pricing and availabilitymentioned

Sentiment

mixed(0.55)— Hosts acknowledge Baywatch as a technically well-designed shooter with excellent layout and shot variety, but express frustration with uninspired rules, weak audio design, and overall lack of engaging gameplay moments. Consensus is 'solid B' quality—competent but not memorable or recommendable as a must-play. The disconnect between praise for mechanics and criticism of engagement creates a mixed assessment.

Transcript

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[Music] the wait is over a revolution in an LED lighting for your pinball is finally here fully customizable full spectrum lighting from pin stadium lights order yours now at King stadium calm Marko specialties same-day shipping accessible website exceptional customer service and with over 50,000 different pinball parts in stock Marko specialties is a must for every pin Lowell enthusiast and operator treat your pinball machine right by visiting Marco speck calm now let's kick the [ __ ] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] come on how's it going we're gonna review a game for you that was made by Sega back in the 90s yeah yeah what year would you guess Baywatch yeah okay you told him oh [ __ ] sorry sir [Music] you know before 97 okay good later than 93 95 nice job 95 honestly did not know where that was but I know [ __ ] showcases were later no that's the 97 do you know you're Sega's yeah and then you were obviously like you know they had the big display yeah mm-hmm Baywatch that's what we're reviewing today now he's who designed Baywatch clear design Baywatch ball sir ball sir did yes hey cami cow got some credit tube is a bolster design art by Jeff Busch I think that's the same Jeff Busch as Oktoberfest and Houdini American people I think and Marcus Roth Krantz yeah animation by Jack Lydon and Kirti Anderson you know what I Brian Schmidt or dots they're good dots they're good dots just to run their rule not like a generator it's a video they're good dots I don't think somebody produce those oh I think it's like a I don't know regardless it's good dots okay software by the dream team numerous Neil Falconer Lonnie D Rob John Carpenter and yeah boy Oren dizzy the born Orin Day is the one day a dick no does he know talk for a while though so we're gonna review that let's go to me giving you an overview of the game and then we'll come back and we'll start reading this bad boy alright guys don't hassle the hoff let's go through Baywatch by Sega a lot of shots in this game a lot of fun stuff to do it can be kind of tricky this game can be tough from left to right very typical and lanes outlanes here you do have a kickback on the left side with laser kick weird will shoot it back out all right you have stand up targets well first open you're inlanes are gonna light your shark slippers on the left squid pops on the right and orbit lit on the right specials in the outlines okay shark stand up targets you hit those any which way you can also hit those using that little shark flipper big scoop that is basically your jag pop for a lot of shots as well as your you have to hit it with the shark flipper right there as it rolls there it baby - cool that's where you're gonna progress through your awards you first award ten million in a video mode second twenty million in super laser kick and they progressively get better all the way up to the hundred million shot and earthquake there's the cream look at that artwork alright you do have an upper left flipper here that's gonna hit the drop targets which are responsible for lighting your locks or the ramp right there you can hit and it's going to take you up whip you back around and safely back to your left flipper you can also hit the pops from there as well left orbit that's going to start your tidal wave whenever that modes are ready it goes all the way around and controlled gates inside they're gonna put it into the pops it's gonna pass through there come down it's hard to see bear with me here okay or it goes under that gate and there's a there's a plunger that shoots it back out and around so that you can use that top flipper to shoot at you here's your lifeguard stand see that's how you lock balls as well as just a regular regular old ramp that goes up back deck comes around comes yeah meets that boom falls out there Pam shark flipper or inland alright but it also has that like I said it has a flap in there I don't think you can see it yeah you can kind of that's gonna lock bolts physical ball lock cool your Venice Beach shot that's a ramp that goes up and down this way to your left flipper scoop shot are now scooping a saucer if you will that's your extra ball shot as well starting earthquake that's gonna pop it up there come over here and then drop it right down here as you see how dirty it is oops okay typical pops and then you also have your inlanes it spells out SPF right like I said before your side rant with the third flipper okay this is your rant shot look how close this is this is that can be a killer right there alright so you hit that up it either goes up but if it doesn't make it all the way it will fall back down that that side ramp and oftentimes goes right into the scoop but if not it's gonna go up whip around and then it's gonna come down to your left flipper alright still more shots you've got your dolphin spinner well then good old Sega spinners don't do much alright that spinner is gonna take you up and it's gonna loop you back around right back down here to the right it's hard to see but that's certainly what it does okay sorry for the dirt just stand up targets over here you can't really hit that short flip area that's where the ball comes trailing out long times okay so what is the point of the game the point of the game a couple different things you can try to progress through those shark awards to get the third point you can also try to light locks to start your multiball in there but for the most part each of the main shots will have if you see here they're gonna have three inserts below them so this is the left ramp shot the first shot you're gonna like the G the next shot to that ramp you're gonna select the character which in this case is Mitch the next shot is going to start the mode CPR mode so three inserts for each shot see this one the you Matt and top to rescue a CJ and diver trapped back up this ramp here you have the are Caroline and shark Cove this would be the spinner shot you have D Stephanie and tidal wave again you're trying to spell out guard guard you're trying to collect all the characters which is the second shot in each name try to start all the modes which is the third shot to each standard targets are responsible for lighting that laser kick and goon that's pretty much it a lot of shots in this game it's a good bang for the buck if you can stand the theme this is a watch did you do chrome it brass at black nickel a kingly chrome it powder-coated the possibilities are endless at pinball play.com your pinball machine deserves the best at comet pinball you'll find the best variety of LED products with the best quality LEDs and most importantly at the best price your collection is begging for an upgrade order yours now at comic pinball comm check out pin graphics for the latest and greatest in pinball enhancements power blades blade skins pin blades and even more visit ping graphics comm now to see what's available for your pinball machine alright mr. bone let watch this time let's talk about art or art de luxe oh you're starting off like that that's what I'm at Wow let's see ouch what is that the cabinet the back glass the music art honestly second raptures the game though it does capture captures the theme it does well we're Marcus real Roth Krantz but I like the sector Bush he doesn't suck it wasn't terrible I'm just saying compared to you gave it a seat yeah that's not that bad it's there no you're good with it yeah do you like this the cabinet that's ok cameltoe came up though we talked right before this and I said there's no need to mention that oh did you yes I thought you told me not to mention something else no I don't even know what that is no I said the AL toes let's okay let's stop saying it I think it's ballsy - no it's camel toe we okay the pain a camel toe on the side of a cabinet you have to know what you're doing maybe it's the same guy that painted a monkey I mean did Barnes you know maybe no no Josh the Bushmaster I love Baywatch art love it I think yeah I think it's beautiful I think it's a pretty game so much waves and everything oh man and there's a glass with a golf right there I gave it a d-plus because here you're such an [ __ ] like that is not that bad Wow no bikes it's so bad one of the reasons I got rid of it because I didn't look at it anyway like Oh God it's got that typical Sega mush machine is very typically Sega very minor noticed those Sega artists back in the day they always hid the fingers because boy boy it's tough to draw fingers on his fingers I have done pictures where I've left the fingers off I can't draw mittens on I'd have been a perfect Sega artist back in the day no fingers fingers lovely D plus main and things atrocious looking alright so you guys have seen it right into the heart okay chanson layout is this a good shooter - this is Jill bolstered by I think if she's famed quintessential Joe ball so this feels very much like an Oktoberfest I don't think it feels like iced over fast if the layout looks very similar to Oktoberfest that luck right up the or the saucer over strap the middle straight 'litham in uh the shark targets to left I think it's a very reminiscent of October on the side you get the locked ball and I don't think it feels anything but lifting ramp yeah I don't think it's long heels like you get the weird side way ramp that Balcer likes to do does kind of feel like October I do like it how its laid out cuz there's so much to shoot there's a lot to do there's not tons do I like the little kickback out the right the shooter like the kickback this is honestly probably the deck if you wanted to go from a shooting and a code standpoint this is probably best SEC ever made lagina think honestly oh we can go back to one of our last videos that we did a top five on each and I think Baywatch might have been my number one better Godzilla on Sega's I came around far back I might have screwed myself in that but I mean I'm seeing from at least if it is a welcoming a shooter standpoint yep I think it's honestly when a ball sir best layout I think you could say that you could argue that I would go with that even though this is fantastic but this layout is a little more the [ __ ] out there's more to do or to shoot I don't think that luck is hard to shoot it's got a kickback it's loaded yeah it's very loaded shots and layout Wow hey - it is you really like shooting this thing it's packed I think it's getting nice at it I think it's good now it's a B for me if you don't like Baywatch you don't like Sega you don't like the code or anything else you cannot deny that it that it doesn't have the shots okay and it doesn't shoot ramps are fun to hit ramps are fun you call the shots in front of you I'm gonna be I think it's it's good I can take to be furball sir I think you're terrible but except it be for ball sir moving on rules and code now give you this a little credit rules encoded it uh for the for the day 95 mid nineties mode based game but some other tasks to do multi balls a lock with the drop down or the drop targets you physically lock them into the okay there's no but it still kind of has the routines that nineties things shoot the shot light the mode okay you know you shoot each shot three times that's right letter characters mode like the characters yes and that's what shows rewards mode bottom yeah very reminiscent to Lethal Weapon 3 the sharp focus for your million oh yeah but but the modes are unique to their different it is it is that okay to me of analyze shot kind of thing shoot the lid yeah yeah I don't yeah but some of them are the stand ups and so forth okay they're very a little bit you're to be a boot you like it I like it I think it's good what do you get c-plus I'm not saying it's not there Gregg me it's not super deep just enough that's why I didn't go up it's not fun like the code is just not engaging to me I don't have a mode like I got people shark collect the people well I you know what like honestly like I like this game a lot and I can kind of agree with you on that I do agree on something is is is is nicest emotion but yes I think that that's what kills it is the actual moseub shelves really not engage me it's not the shots it's not the code itself it's the bay why but I'm saying it's the modes not the code the modes not the code the mode not the code the mode okay no moments I don't feel like there's any moments in this game I can agree with that I just don't I can feel like it's very vanilla very white bread wheat Greg no no pumpernickel oh is it a meat or is it the brick no it's not a pumpernickel is not a that's a Bologna I think piece of Bologna with the peppers what's that what's the blue on these little peppers in it well you keep talking pumpernickel hello never spill I love that I'm gonna call him out right now on his a wallpaper it's not as family it's not his favorite pinball machine it is Keanu Reeves he is Keanu Reeves as the dark dense German bread made from coarsely ground whole grain all right no you said meat I said it was a bread I started as a brand Bologna Bologna Bologna with person block nut GNA you know I'm gonna I'm gonna go out on the go on a limb and say that you never won the Spelling Bee at school is that fair to say it's mortadella now that's no one thinking of is a product of baloney slices that's known thing including holing ground its mortadella a different name you would know your sausages beef Bologna cracked black pepper hard salami so we're talking about baywatch and we're talking about the Lonnie and beer I'm talking about you have my hard salami so now the code is uninspired it might be good for the time it just didn't I'll give you that there's a little bit of something lacking there's enough there but it's just me it's gonna boy toys and innovation to a lot girlfriend surprise that about you do beautiful it almost came back out might call it that okay toys and innovations this game that we said it's loaded before so would back it up with a high grade right is what it was shots toys are a different thing like to me you're gonna be plus you think is pretty much power okay is decent that's cool like an you had a gigantic display okay that's in a versatile honestly sort of the ship the short flipper shark flippers cool I mean a shark fin on top of flipper but I don't know if I would go so much innovation other than the large DMD okay so that's maybe more stuff because those large team bees do make a difficult ring inside and you like the dots on them I do like that I was Frankenstein dots were awesome oh I vowed never to bring that game up that shitty ass didn't either a stupid game I've died I did an overview of that game I did that we will review that come October this year I thought we're done oh we did not you refuse to Oh cuz I actually did monster bash instead well well good call my producer call her Frankenstein so hopefully all right toys and innovations see mine is I just don't give a [ __ ] about this I don't want to say probably should have went a little lower with toys don't really have anything displays ugly I think you're more accurate but toys innovation alright it's kind of the cult classic people really try to bring this game back and make it popular I don't see it it's not fun try to bring it back another yeah it came back a bit because it's good it's good it's a good panel think it is music and callouts oh man who I can't wait to talk about these wow I'm a c-plus yeah you better be only because I was whole yet if not terrible well I should have bumped it up I do like that song this song is really good when it starts off yeah okay it's so really good oh I do like that music and callouts no because we do the Malaysian but music Oh laughs no we can't you get played for like three seconds I just did a rendition I'm gonna D a bit for dick music call us is d for me because it sucks it's typical Sagar where you hear the same name call out 100 million times I don't adjust its d I don't like it all there I don't like this pin anything give it a D a D damn here because there's nothing there they really mean that I can't think of one call out it's not an F because of the song how about that shark sharks and water multiball like no ii so you just gonna get T's on Sam I just didn't get into second and moment especially the large display you name a large displayed second game that I like I'd rather go older school seconds and I'd like to hang my second you like a giant display would be your favorite game ever it's a good game see that's it could told you I mean there's other good Sega's giant display I like that game I think that Baywatch and Frankenstein utilized the large display better than Batman Forever and better than way better maverick maverick just maverick maverick that mean forever I like that man forever that okay see him oh Jesus hey give it a b-minus she I watched it I don't care if you I've watched all kinds of crap but it's not good you know when it had a lot of morals if you watch this story back it was like a general you say please explain to me Greg bone the morals that Baywatch touch it had a lot of PSAs it was weird she and they were running you know no no somebody would be like littering or there would be like toxic waste being dumped into the ocean that they had to deal with or somebody who was a pickpocket or something there don't do bad things a bomb that lived under the pier beer disappeared did a little charity event for ya see it was a good heartfelt look you don't have shows like that anymore like kill people yeah like that's what everything's about lady watch SVU the worst thing happened on Baywatch was somebody stepped on a crab pie on his face yeah pee on him so you see him say Bob we know why you like this thing let's not kid ourselves but there's no dozen women nowadays getting older creak hey I don't like Emily I like a cougar now Pamela Anderson also she was not that attractive back in the day really I don't think so I mean I had my way with her but how did you impressed myself pretty well ring.this of me you know he's a keep it clean they need to lure me into the rut I'm at a c-minus and it was probably it's probably cuz I had some heartfelt stuff that's why I kept in the C range good harsh hearts big juicy parts man had no hard hard but lengthy hard bodies I like the big juicy heartfelt message buddies and the bouncing that did you catch the bouncing messages the scantily-clad messages that it talked those are all the messages I lost in my thoughts of a watch there's a channel that replays baby well I've watched some last summer i watch the Baywatch like a new Baywatch no no it's redo Baywatch I thought they tried to redo it they did the movie with Rock Zac Efron y'all it was nothing like Baywatch it was actually kind of funny I thought it was pretty good I'd I had low expectations for a booze decent well I like to watch it know yeah no no posture and you're not gonna do that no enjoyability oh my favorite category people us how much do you enjoy it I do enjoy it I think it shoots well it's kind of fun it's quirky you're quirky yeah do not take things too serious could be a little toe it does Syria it can be a little tough okay that's a tough pin I wouldn't know because I you think of it I know I clip playing before it gets tough why I don't care see it's not engaging it didn't pull me in it does nothing and that's why I'm gonna see - see - on enjoyability because it is not enjoyable I'll give Joey B I'll give him some credit he's what makes it a C - and not a D or D - I just don't get it man I don't know absolutely game display sucks I do think it lacks like that enthusiasm like you said like that the totally guys it's pretty good no do you technically maybe technically yes but it's like you said there's nothing gauging I understand I know you come from I'm gonna unengaging so far cause you made me love you Bay watch I like it the shark flipper lift up the they hit it in the hole that's good that's good stuff it's a good shot lift and flip lift and flip lift and flip that's your technique embedded in the lift lift lift didn't flip they'll lift and flip and put me into a situation all right cumulative ly accumulate and remember these are our weighted grades new SDTM weighted grades here's what we had to do yeah typically we go art 10% shots layout 20% rules in code 20% toys and innovation 10% we using call outs 5% theme 10% enjoyability 20% you add all those up and you're going to be missing 5% because that's usually what is displaying animations on our new contemporary ones so we divided that stay with me I know this is hurting your head fix that 5% divided by the seven remaining categories and distributed a point seven point one two something percent into each of them but they are weighted based on our original weighted grades congratulation and with that your cumulative grade comes up to Oh surprise surprise a good old beep in by Greg bone Baywatch second pin ball solid B though it's all be three plus I am at a C and I don't know how I have no clue how it became a seat you think it's worse than a see ya c 2.0 once there's a couple points obviously not that bad - will you be ready what do these people need to know before they show you watch don't don't what we're looking up now you're looking up something Baywatch related right now subscribe to us on YouTube we're close to that 4,000 subscriber mile mark please do that now follow us on Facebook well stop at that [ __ ] watch Chuck work stream on straight down the middle of pinball shows twitch stream channel sttm pinball so check that thing your desert if we're just yeah we'll man how fast see you annoy the piss outta me what else they need to do I don't know what you said I was listen if they want to buy a Baywatch pinball machine call me if flipping out with him I'll talk you out of it do that trying to get a nice one from me forever you can't find him because I don't know why I will buy though I whoever had one in Texas that one was nice it won't you buy that one rock him get home what's the most you spend on Baywatch 2500 you're not gonna find it over 24 is probably 3,000 that's a nice one I wouldn't do it they're heavy I will tell you that oh my god those pins are heavy cuz it's loaded is that a white is now mmm standard standard loaded better forever it's a wide-body is it it is it's wide I know it is [Applause] all right we're gonna surprise Greg bone we're here to film and he loves people just hopping up into this place so let's let's see what it's like to walk into great bones place see our setup alright a little windy here sorry check this out shoes off inside door please shoes off inside door please okay little rat dog barking say hi to the people great [ __ ] truck for 20 goddamn minutes out there I'm working me I rushed home from work he's sitting on this truck the people want to see the set up together set up downstairs yeah okay let's go down just set up here right into the bone pad here you got a gumball machine a dart board oh look at this why looking good Greg here's where the magic happens right here