Wii Suck @ Video Games - Episode 29 - The Secret Saturdays: Beast Of The 5th Sun

Poor Man's Pinball Podcast·podcast_episode·analyzed·Aug 7, 2024

Analysis

claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 · $0.020

TL;DR

Video game podcast reviews mediocre Wii platformer; announces format shift away from randomization.

Summary

A video game podcast episode reviewing "The Secret Saturdays: Beast of the 5th Sun" for Nintendo Wii. The hosts discuss their lack of familiarity with the source material, the game's middling quality (rated around 5/10), and announce a format change moving away from random game selection to curated picks to break out of a creative rut.

Key Claims

The Secret Saturdays was a Cartoon Network show that ran for approximately one and a half seasons with 36 episodes total
medium confidence · Host mentions researching the show while preparing for the game review
High Voltage Software developed the game and D3 published it
high confidence · Host states this as factual information about the game credits
The game was released on October 20th, 2009
high confidence · Host explicitly states release date
Metacritic user score for the game is 60
high confidence · Host cites Metacritic score directly
The show has hit a creative rut with episode scores consistently falling between 4.5 and 6.5
high confidence · Host reflects on recent episodes and identifies pattern

Notable Quotes

“the ones that crash and burn are funnier that's the problem we're running into with this kind of game they passable”
Malin (Host) @ ~45:00 — Core criticism of mediocre games—they lack entertainment value from either being great or hilariously bad
“when we leave it up to fate and these kind of things pop up there's no like we have no love for them no nostalgia for them no anything so you're literally just playing a game and if you don't care and it's just a meh game it's hard to like get excited about it”
Malin (Host) @ ~40:00 — Host identifies the core issue with their randomization format—lack of personal investment
“29 shows in you should not be hitting a lull so we're going to every now and then well we might go back to just picking out random ones every now and then we're gonna pull next couple shows we're gonna pull stuff off the shelf that we want to play”
Malin (Host) @ ~52:00 — Announcement of major format change for the podcast
“fans of the secret saturdays will be thrilled to play beasts of the fifth sun”
GameZone (Review cited) @ ~48:00 — Professional review quote illustrating the game's niche appeal to franchise fans only
“easily forgettable an easily forgettable game that is sure to get lost among the holiday season's high profile games”
GameSpot (Review cited) @ ~49:00 — Professional review characterizing the game as forgettable and commercially doomed

Entities

MalinpersonCrafter SallypersonHigh Voltage SoftwarecompanyD3 PublishercompanyThe Secret Saturdays: Beast of the 5th SungameCartoon NetworkcompanyWe Suck at Video GamesorganizationMetacriticorganizationSpongeBob SquarePants: Truth or SquaregamePuzzle Quest: Challenge of the WarlordsgameThe ConduitgameLEGO RacersgameHunter: The Reckoninggame

Signals

?
content_signal: Hosts announcing intentional shift from randomized game selection to curated picks starting with next episode, citing audience engagement concerns and creative stagnation
high · We're going to every now and then pull stuff off the shelf that we want to play... next couple shows we're gonna pull stuff off the shelf that we want to play you know there's some real games that i just love
~
sentiment_shift: Hosts recognize they've hit a creative rut with middling game scores (4.5-6.5 range) that lack excitement for listeners and creators
high · we're kind of just like in a rut where it's just like you know like we're hitting between four and a half and six and a half
?
gameplay_signal: The Secret Saturdays uses Wii nunchuck motion controls adequately but without adding meaningful value; not detrimental but not essential
high · It uses the nunchuck and you're playing around with it. Now, there was nothing that really made it stand out that you needed motion controls but there was nothing that detracted from it too
?
game_design_philosophy: Game designed to be playable without prior knowledge of The Secret Saturdays franchise, standard for licensed platformers
high · they always make these games that you don't really have to know the property to understand what you're doing this is just a platformer kind of a puzzle thing
?
product_concern: Grappling hook controls occasionally feel loose or imprecise, causing frustration during platforming sections
medium · there was some frustrating parts where you're doing stuff and you're falling around a little bit

Transcript

groq_whisper · $0.040

0:00

and we're back it's time for the one and only we suck at video games big show 29 the only video game podcast dedicated to the audio form of game review I know My name is Malin With me as always Uh oh No For all of you Craftrew Sally heads She had to take a week off With the whatnot And the things And stuff Anyway You're stuck with me And I hope that's okay I'll try my best to Keep the show moving along Don't worry folks She'll be back next time I promise Well I shouldn't promise What I can't Sure promise But I'm pretty sure She'll be back That's just the way she is uh this week i'm trying to think of the games we grabbed we did get a couple wii games yeah this year this week we ended up getting um the spongebob's truth or square wii game that was a weird that was one i saw in marketplace and it was it was listed for four dollars in appleton wisconsin fairly close but never you know it's not right next door and i watched it for a while and it didn't sell it didn't sell and finally i reached out it was like a on a thursday i was like you know if you're gonna be around on the weekend i'll swing by and pick it up if you're cool with that and he said sure no problem and this one actually worked out although it was a very awkward uh handoff i almost would have preferred the uh the no contact to uh leave it on the porch kind of thing he just uh i don't know didn't want me there which is okay i didn't i'm not real chatty it just was like uh here's your four dollars here's your game and then just slowly closed the door and I ended up buying another one at a used video game store now this wasn't my usual game store that I have linked to in the show notes this is just one that's around it's a little bit more expensive so I don't get stuff there much but this one piqued my interest a little bit it was a it's called Puzzle Quest Challenge of the Warlords oh spooky so that one um it's just another one of those dumb uh puzzler games but it does look like it has like some a story mode to it i'm not sure i like the the the wii is very good at wacky puzzle games you know peggle and that kind of stuff was that magnetica there was one with like the magnet balls and so that it's just fun very simple and then they some of them use the uh motion controls pretty nice but that's not what we're here for today we are here to talk about the secret saturday's beast of the fifth sun all right now that was of course on that was released uh the high voltage was the developer they've done a lot of stuff they did lego racers hunter the reckoning uh the conduit i think i have both of those if not i had both of those it's hard to remember anymore and uh and then it was d3 was the publisher Both of those are still in existence I believe They might have been absorbed but whatever So this was released on October 20th of 2009 Now we always like to set the mood Top song was I Got a Feeling from the Black Eyed Peas, and this is where I say, never heard of them. And then the top movie was Where the Wild Things Are.

5:13

Rick and Morty and what was that one that was the funny one back then? Ren and Stimpy, Futurama. I guess those are more adult, but there's some crossover. you know and I had just never heard of it whatsoever so that was pretty interesting I did learn a little bit about it I was like then when you're playing the game your life is like okay you know they always make these games that you don't really have to know the the uh property to understand what you're doing this is just a platformer kind of a puzzle thing a little bit here and there nothing nothing crazy so we had no history with this game whatsoever and we you know we put it in and it it kind of goes through stuff it's a quick tutorial which is i like that it shows okay this is how you jump this is how you swing you know most of the stuff is all standard fair so you go through it pretty quickly and you and off to the game you know and then there's some chatty chat and it's like that cartoonish it's not cell shaded but it looks kind of almost like faux cell shade uh so it's has a nice style to it it was a it was a nice looking game the controls weren't offensive. They were fine. It uses the nunchuck and you're playing around with it. Now, there was nothing that really made it stand out that you needed motion controls but there was nothing that detracted from it too And in the Wii world that kind of just as good if it doesn if it isn terrible well that kind of a win some of those motion controls not so good this one was not terrible there was some frustrating parts where you're doing stuff and you're falling around a little bit but that might have been just if I would have played through it longer I'm sure it would have just been more natural you know it felt natural because it uses the grappling hook that's your main thing for this kid so so mainly with this game you know you're running around and you play as as the kid i can't oh they said his name a million times i can't believe i can't remember it but you just kind of like it's like a platformer but it's not really i didn't find it super engaging like you go to a room you do a thing the battles are really inconsequential kind of they're just there it was nothing like nothing really stood out as good that was the problem with this game and that's been the problem with a lot of these games when you play them they're not comically horrible so that sucks and then they're not like super awesome like wow what a gem these they're just a tweener you know and and that's we're kind of hitting one thing we realized because we had struggled getting through this one and last week's our last shows was not a picnic either and i'm kind of like what's going on here you know why why is this why is it so difficult to like sit down and play these wii games they're fun we love the wii and kind of came to a realization that like when we leave it up to fate and these kind of things pop up there's no like we have no love for them no nostalgia for them no anything so you're literally just playing a game and if you don't care and it's just a meh game it's hard to like get excited about it and that's where this one fell again and it's going to be we're doing something don't worry at the end of the show i'm going to give a big reveal we're going to fix a few things because we're kind of just like in a rut where it's just like you know like we're hitting between four and a half and six and a half and it's just like okay whatever it's just a game you know and that's what this one is just a game metacritic has it at 60 you And I'm going to be just straight up middle of the road like usual for this kind of game. I don't hate it. So I can't really knock it. But there's nothing to talk about. There's nothing to say, oh, this is fun or this is exciting. There was things like the whole goal is to collect cryptids. So you do this. You are scanning them in as you're going along and playing the game. So that's kind of cool. And there's a couple different kinds in there, whatever. And then his power is to control. like there's like this big beast guy who like can climb better than you so sometimes you'll take over that guy and he throws you over to the next level and then there's also like these gargoyles and you you bring them down strategically and that's where you swing off of those to get up higher so there there is some engaging things it's not like it's a total just nothing game you know again the ones that crash and burn are funnier that's the that this is the problem we're running into with this kind of game they passable you know so where i gonna go like five five or just a five i didn care didn love it didn hate it you know so let but like i like to do is I like to go see what does the user say What are some user reviews So I went to Metacritic and this is another one where there wasn even enough user reviews So I'm going to be reading, which I, you know, I like the user reviews better because they're funnier. So GameZone says a 7.8 out of 10 for the Wii. And that's pretty, pretty high, right? fans of the secret saturdays will be thrilled to play beasts of the fifth sun okay so now that was the highest one what is the lowest one saying game note gamer node says a 4.5 out of 10 and easily forgettable an easily forgettable game that is sure to get lost among the holiday season's high profile games. And that is probably correct. It was lost because no one has ever mentioned this game or cares about this game. Maybe even people that worked on it. I'm sure the people that worked on it were like, yay, this is a good game. So there you go.

10:54

As a final wrap up, if you did, if you love this game because you were a big Secret Saturdays fan, don't, it's okay. It's okay to love a game. You know, I love some truly terrible games, but that's okay. and then it's okay to hate a game too so we're gonna leave it at that now as my exciting revelation we're gonna stray away from the let random take its choice because we're finding i believe even the the viewers or the listeners are kind of like if you're hitting this strength stride there's no excitement there's no anything it's it's a real lull and 29 shows in you should not be hitting a lull so we're going to every now and then well we might go back to just picking out random ones every now and then we're gonna pull next couple shows we're gonna pull stuff off the shelf that we want to play you know there's some real games that i just love and there's some real games that i have not gotten to experience yet that i've been looking forward to so the next few weeks or the next few shows i should say are going to be a bit more we're going to pick them out so uh love them or i sometimes i am a glutton for punishment i have a lot of i've watched b movies my entire life i love bad so there might be a few that i pick up because i know they're a train wreck and that's that's okay too because sometimes it's funnier to make fun of something that is to love on something uh-huh look at the internet so there you have it folks uh we will uh i'm gonna be a surprise for next week we'll pick it out and then we're gonna hit you with something awesome, I believe so. I'm kind of thinking Mad World. I liked Mad World. It was gruesome and crazy and off the charts. That's fun, but you never know. So thanks for listening, everyone. This has been We Suck at Video Games Show 29. Crafter Sally will be with us again next week, I promise. And drop us a line. There is a email in the show notes. Click on it, send us something. And if there's a game you totally love and want to hear us talk about, send us that too we take requests i promise that's gonna do it thanks for listening one and all out that's it man game over man game over