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Kaneda Classic #1: "Top 10 Themes We Need"

Kaneda's Pinball Podcast (Patreon feed)·podcast_episode·1h 2m·analyzed·May 14, 2023
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claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 · $0.030

TL;DR

Kaneda argues pinball industry obsesses over scoring at expense of emotional theme magic; lists 10 dream game themes.

Summary

Kaneda presents a passionate critique of pinball game design, arguing that the industry prioritizes scoring and rule complexity over emotional theme integration and 'magical moments.' He outlines his top 10 dream pinball themes—Fifth Element, The Matrix, Pee-wee's Big Adventure, Die Hard, Akira, Gladiator, and Rocky IV (among others)—emphasizing that great pinball requires themes people deeply love, strong visual worlds, compelling narratives that translate under glass, and iconic music. He praises only two recent machines—Guns N' Roses (Jersey Jack) and Big Lebowski (Dutch Pinball)—as successfully executing perfect theme integration, and argues the industry is creatively stagnant with repetitive superhero and music pins.

Key Claims

  • Only two game launches in the past five years truly integrated theme perfectly: Guns N' Roses (Jersey Jack) and Big Lebowski (Dutch Pinball)

    high confidence · Kaneda's direct statement comparing recent machines he has covered

  • Most pinball games are designed mechanically before theme is decided, resulting in lazy theme integration and mechanisms unrelated to the property

    medium confidence · Kaneda's assertion about the 'dirty little secret' of pinball design practices

  • The pinball industry is controlled by tournament players who prioritize rule sets and scoring over emotional/magical moments

    medium confidence · Kaneda's critique of design philosophy and industry priorities

  • Akira would sell out to at least 1,000 people worldwide and could be licensed affordably compared to major Hollywood properties

    low confidence · Kaneda's prediction about Akira's market potential and licensing costs

  • Theming is more important to pinball enjoyment than high scores and pinball moments are created through emotional connection to theme

    high confidence · Kaneda's core philosophy stated repeatedly throughout the episode

Notable Quotes

  • “There is no point in making a pinball machine unless you're going to make it based on a theme that people emotionally love.”

    Kaneda @ Opening — Sets the foundational philosophy for the entire episode

  • “I care so much more about emotionally feeling something in a pinball machine than I do about my high score.”

    Kaneda @ Mid-episode — Core statement about the critique of current design philosophy

  • “The two games that inspire me, the two games that have raised the bar in pinball, and the two games which every single pinball machine that comes out should strive to be as good as is Guns N' Roses from Jersey Jack Pinball and the Big Lebowski from Dutch Pinball.”

    Kaneda @ Early episode — Identifies the only two machines Kaneda believes achieved perfect theme integration

  • “I would rather pay $15,000 and have one pinball machine that I would never let go because it's based on a theme I love so much versus all of these transient games.”

    Kaneda @ Mid-episode — Challenges industry pricing criticism and reveals willingness to pay premium for authentic theming

  • “There's a dirty little secret in pinball that they don't want you to know about—so many of the games you enjoy are designed before they know what the theme is.”

    Kaneda @ Mid-episode — Alleges common industry practice that undermines theme authenticity

  • “Yippee-ki-yay, Gary Stern. Come on, where is this game? How do we not have a Die Hard pinball machine?”

    Kaneda @ During Die Hard discussion — Direct appeal to Stern Entertainment's leadership about missing licensing opportunity

  • “I'm telling you right now, all of you pinball manufacturers out there who keep complaining you can't afford a license, it's because you're sleeping on licenses like this [Akira]. Akira would sell out to at least 1,000 people around the world.”

    Kaneda @ During Akira discussion — Challenges industry assumption about licensing costs and identifies underexplored market opportunities

Entities

KanedapersonJersey Jack PinballcompanyDutch PinballcompanySterncompanyAmerican PinballcompanyEric MeunierpersonLyman F. Sheats Jr.person

Signals

  • ?

    design_philosophy: Kaneda argues pinball design has become mechanics-first rather than theme-first, with many games designed before theme is chosen, resulting in mechanics unrelated to properties

    high · Kaneda states: 'so many of the games you enjoy are designed before they know what the theme is' and criticizes the industry for prioritizing 'rule sets and scoring and layout and shot geometry' over 'magical moments'

  • ~

    sentiment_shift: Strong critical sentiment toward current industry direction; Kaneda expresses frustration with repetitive themes (superhero, music pins) and lack of emotional resonance in recent releases

    high · Kaneda: 'I'm so tired of theme after theme that I could care less about' and 'something is going on that needs to stop. I think there's a lot of repetitiveness'

  • ?

    gameplay_signal: Kaneda prioritizes 'magical moments' and emotional resonance over scoring depth; argues great pinball creates emotional connection through theme, music, and narrative integration rather than complex rule sets

    high · Kaneda: 'There is too much of an emphasis on scoring' and 'I care so much more about emotionally feeling something in a pinball machine than I do about my high score'

  • $

    market_signal: Kaneda willing to pay premium prices ($15,000+) for authentic theme-driven machines; argues current games suffer from 'shuffling in and out' because they lack emotional resonance, not pricing

    high · Kaneda: 'I would rather pay $15,000 and have one pinball machine that I would never let go' and critiques 'transient games' that players quickly resell

  • ?

Transcript

groq_whisper · $0.188

0:00
There is no point in making a pinball machine unless you're going to make it based on a theme that people emotionally love. On this episode of Canada's Pinball Podcast, we are going to explore the themes that should be made into pinball machines because these are themes that create environments, they create moments, the music, the entire thing would stir us and it would be perfect if it were translated into pinball form. So let's see what those themes are.
0:54
Ah, this is going to be a fun one. So on this episode of Canada's Pinball Podcast, I want to share with you the top 10 themes that would make for amazing pinball games. And these are my top 10. If I could snap my fingers tomorrow and I could play Pinball God, I am so tired of theme after theme that I could care less about. But if these 10 games were made, I would have to buy them. The reason why I wanted to do this show is I think in the pinball world, something is going on that needs to stop. I think there's a lot of repetitiveness. I think we're getting the same themes over and over again. I also think we're going down the same road of just another music pin or just another superhero pin. And I think that trend needs to stop. I also think if I look at the reason why we make pinball machines, think about it. It's a physical world under glass that you want to play. It's almost like a diorama that you can interact with in such an amazing way. And I will say this, since I've been covering this hobby, there really have just been two releases that gave me everything I wanted when it comes to a pinball theme that is just executed perfectly. There's been a lot of themes since I've been covering the pinball hobby. There's been Star Wars, Batman, Jurassic Park, Elvira, Hobbit, Wizard of Oz, Willy Wonka, you name it. I mean, there have been a lot of movies, a lot of musical acts, a lot of machines have come out in the five years Kaneda's been covering the pinball hobby. And I've only experienced two game launches that really, truly took the theme, put a world under glass, and integrated that theme perfectly in pinball form. And the two games that inspire me, the two games that have raised the bar in pinball, and the two games which every single pinball machine that comes out should strive to be as good as is Guns N' Roses from Jersey Jack Pinball and the Big Lebowski from Dutch Pinball. Those are the two machines that just nailed it. They took a theme that so many people love and they brought it to life and brought that world under glass to life in such a magical and meaningful way. And if you ask me, the most important thing in pinball next to theme is creating pinball moments that make us feel something. This is the biggest problem in pinball today. There is too much of an emphasis on scoring, and the people that are making these games are tournament players who love scoring, and so much of the game is designed around the rule set. It's designed around how you're going to get to multipliers and how you're going to get your score up, and not enough of pinball is designed around magical moments. And that is the reason why I love pinball. I want to jump on a machine that is a theme I love. And I want to see that world brought to life under glass. And I want the machine to make me feel something. I care so much more about emotionally feeling something in a pinball machine than I do about my high score. And I think this hobby is under the control of people who would rather focus on rule sets and scoring and layout and shot geometry than they do on magical moments. And you point to 10 games right now that came out over the last three years and tell me where the magical moments are. Now, there is a shortcut to magic. And the shortcut is this. It's theme because there are so many themes out there that we have never made a pinball machine based on that would do this because you're going to see in my top 10 list, this is the criteria for why I think these things would be great pinball machines. Number one, this is a property that so many people love. It's a great property. Number two, it's a story that would be translated perfectly underclass. Like you could tell this narrative in a pinball way that would work, right? When people say like James Bond, I'm like, do you really want to make a pinball machine based on all those James Bond movies? It would start to get really, really messy, really, really fast. No, I would much rather have one story that you can get your arms around and you could translate under the pinball glass in a way that does it justice versus something like James Bond. I also think it needs to be a theme that has things in it that would create great pinball mechanisms. That's really important. There's a reason why I don't have Karate Kid because if you think about the Karate Kid movie, what the hell would the mechs be in a Karate Kid game? You're going to wax on, wax off. You're going to jump in the ring. There's not that much that would be amazing physical things under glass. So you're not going to see Karate Kid here. I also wanted to pick themes that you could easily recognize just by closing your eyes and hearing the music, hearing the different call outs from the property, hearing the sound effects from that world. Right. There's a reason why people love Batman 66 so much, because so much of that world, if you just close your eyes, you're immediately transported into the Batman 66 world. Now you notice that wasn't one of my two that inspire me because it's a reskin. There's nothing about Batman 66 that has to do with a crane. It's just there because it was lazily redesigned. When I think about these dream themes, I want these things to be designed from the ground up to be these themes. And I think the other dirty little secret in pinball that they don't want you to know about is so many of the games you enjoy are designed before they know what the theme is. And you can see it in the designs. You can see it in the laziness. You can see it in the mechanisms themselves. Why are there mechanisms in half of these pins that have nothing to do with the property? And so this is Kaneda's wish list. This is my dream. and I think pinball needs to overhaul itself a little bit and I would rather get just two magical pins a year based on magical themes and I would rather get all of the assets and pay more for each of these games. I mean it. As much as I complain about the high prices in pinball, I would rather pay $15,000 and have one pinball machine that I would never let go because it's based on a theme I love so much versus all of these transient games. And you can see it. There's a reason why. There's so much shuffling of games in and out because they're not based upon things people really love. And those themes, if they are something you love, they're completely butchered like Star Wars, okay? So this is it. This is Kaneda's top 10. This might not be for all of you, but if Kaneda were a pinball god and I could harness the power of Roger Sharp's licensing skills and I could harness the creativity of Eric Minier, this would be my dream. I would get Eric Minier and Lyman Sheets to make all of these games and I would bring them to life in the best possible way. And here's how we're going to do it. I'm going to play a clip from this theme first, about two minutes of the theme, because I really want you to close your eyes and get into this theme's world. I want you to hear the sounds. I want you to understand why this would be so good for pinball. I want you to imagine what this world under glass could look like as you hear this two-minute clip of each theme. Can you do that for me? And then afterwards, I will tell you quickly why I think it's perfect, and we will discuss some of the elements of that theme that would make it such a perfect pinball game. How does that sound? Let's start out with number 10.

  • “Stop chopping up the music. Let it play. Let that iconic theme song play over an iconic scene in the film and give it to us exactly like you just heard it.”

    Kaneda @ During Gladiator discussion — Specific design critique about music composition and emotional pacing in pinball

    • Roger Sharpe
    person
    Guns N' Rosesgame
    Big Lebowskigame
    Fifth Elementgame
    The Matrixgame
    Pee-wee's Big Adventuregame
    Die Hardgame
    Akiragame
    Gladiatorgame
    Rocky IVgame
    Rick and Mortygame
    Batman 66game
    Star Warsgame

    licensing_signal: Kaneda identifies Akira as underexploited anime property with affordable licensing costs and strong global fan base; argues industry mistakenly assumes all quality IPs require expensive Hollywood licensing

    medium · Kaneda: 'you're sleeping on licenses like this... Akira would sell out to at least 1,000 people around the world' and 'it is a theme that wouldn't be super, super expensive to get'

  • ?

    design_innovation: Kaneda envisions innovative theme-aligned mechanics: Fifth Element light beam effect, Matrix slow-motion magnet sequences, Die Hard rooftop topper, Gladiator dual-flipper Colosseum layout, Rocky IV music-video pacing

    medium · Multiple specific mechanical proposals tied directly to film narrative moments (e.g., 'a beam of light actually came out of her mouth and shined through the playfield')

  • ?

    product_concern: Critical concern that licensed properties are poorly integrated into machines; examples include Star Wars being 'butchered,' Batman 66 as 'lazy reskin,' and Karate Kid rejected for lack of mechanical fit

    high · Kaneda critiques existing games and explains why certain properties (e.g., Karate Kid) lack pinball mechanics: 'what the hell would the mechs be in a Karate Kid game?'

  • ?

    rumor_hype: Kaneda presents top 10 list of fan-desired themes; Fifth Element, Matrix, Die Hard, Akira, Gladiator, and Rocky IV positioned as underexploited opportunities with strong emotional appeal

    high · Entire episode structure; Kaneda directly states these are themes 'if I could snap my fingers tomorrow' he would buy immediately

  • ?

    competitive_signal: Eric Minier and Lyman Sheets identified as designers capable of executing thematic vision; Kaneda positions them alongside Roger Sharp (licensing) as ideal creative team for dream projects

    medium · Kaneda repeatedly invokes Eric Minier and Lyman Sheets as ideal designers and references their work on Guns N' Roses and Big Lebowski as gold standard

  • ?

    content_signal: Kaneda's Pinball Podcast positions itself as critical voice advocating for emotional/thematic design philosophy; episode demonstrates media platform influence on industry direction and designer aspirations

    medium · Kaneda uses platform to directly address manufacturers, critique industry trends, and propose alternative design philosophy

  • ?

    industry_signal: Kaneda's criticism implies market saturation with repetitive products from major manufacturers; suggests opportunity for differentiation through authentic theme-first design approach

    medium · Kaneda notes finite buyer base and 'shuffling of games in and out' due to lack of emotional connection; implies consolidation around major players

  • ?

    product_strategy: Kaneda advocates for strategy of fewer, higher-quality thematic releases per year (2-3) at premium pricing rather than high-volume repetitive releases

    high · Kaneda: 'I would rather get just two magical pins a year based on magical themes... I would rather pay $15,000'

    • 9:17
    compositional elements of his dna chain are the same as ours there's simply more of them tightly packed with infinite genetic knowledge almost like this being was engineered lulu dallas multipass yeah multipass she knows it's multipass lulu dallas my wife or newlyweds just met aziz light give it a gas freeze those knees my please the curb is in the place and he's on a case yesterday's frog will be tomorrow's brim of frost on paradise this case is empty what do you mean empty the opposite of whole zero stones zero crates I mean the fifth element is probably one of the coolest movies and I think anyone who's seen this movie agrees now let's think about this game in pinball form and how amazing it would be first and foremost, this story is perfect for pinball in a few ways. First of all, the visual identity of the fifth element in pinball form, 23rd century New York City with the flying taxis and all the interesting cyberpunk look and feel to the fifth element would look so beautiful under glass. Okay, so you've got that. Then you've got the greatest storyline, right? Leeloo, this perfect fifth element being falls into Corbin Dallas's taxi and we're off on the most amazing adventure. The story is so great and you think about all the different modes. You got to collect the multi-pass. You got to get on board the ship to Floston Paradise, right? You've got to collect the four stones and line up all of the four elements so that Leeloo can pop into the middle and the fifth element can rise up and shine her beam of light and destroy the evil Zorg. Like how amazing is this storyline? Now think about this for a mechanism. Think about this for a moment. First and foremost, think about the pinball moment in which you have that opera scene. Think about that. Think about the light show. Think about the constellation of outer space while she's singing that like techno opera and you're hitting the shots and you're defeating the bad guys, that music, just that scene alone, would be one of the most amazing pinball moments ever. Now picture this. You get to the final moment in which the fifth element is ready to shine her beam of light and destroy the evil being, right? How awesome would this be if Leeloo popped up from underneath the playfield in the middle of those other four stones, right? and a beam of light actually came out of her mouth and shined through the playfield, through the playfield glass, and all the way into your ceiling, like just through your room. This incredible beam of light and everything else goes dark and then you win the game and you have some incredible like destroy the ring moment in the fifth element. This game would be a take my money now. Show me the cash. Give me the cash, man. Fifth element. Somebody make this game. All right, I should have mentioned these are not in any particular order. These are just 10 themes that I would buy tomorrow, okay? Let's go to number nine.
    13:28
    It's been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. You are a slave born into a prison for your mind. The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. Try to realize the truth. What truth? There is no truth.
    13:44
    Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague and we are the cure. So you're here to save the world. I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door.
    14:03
    You're the one that has to walk through it. It seems that you've been living two lives. I've seen an agent punch through a concrete wall. Men have emptied entire clips of them and hit nothing but air. Everyone who has fought an agent has died. But where they have failed, you will succeed. So do me. Guns.
    14:22
    Lots of guns. No one has ever done anything like this. That's why it's going to work. Mr. Anders. What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets? No, Lear.
    14:35
    I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to. Whoa. Do I even have to tell you how cool The Matrix would be? Now, I would make this only on the first movie. That is the iconic movie. And there's such a good storyline here. The red pill, the blue pill, hooking up with Morpheus, learning the truth about the real world, learning about the agents, trying to escape from the agents, the machine gun battles in which the walls are exploding. Now here's how I would do something really cool with pinball and the matrix So the whole thing is about neo discovering his powers and that line right are you telling me I can dodge bullets I telling you when the time comes you won have to if I were making the matrix pinball I would have so many magnets underneath that game How cool would this be Throughout the game you are progressing and building Neo's skill set so that when you get to the final part of the pinball machine, are you telling me I can hit any pinball shot I want? How cool would it be to somehow use magnets or somehow get the ball at the end of this experience in which the ball starts to slow motion, roll over the magnets and hits all of the shots on its own because you have figured out your skills as Neo and you have godlike powers on that pinball machine. And the game itself is like you're battling the agents and at the end you basically freaking dominate the machine. So cool. They need to make the Matrix. Okay, let's go to number eight. Warner Brothers is proud to present the story of a guy Good morning. I'm here. and his bike. James Bond kind of stuff. Together for the first time in their first big movie. I meant to do that.
    16:58
    I say we kill him. Yeah! I say we let him go. No! You're out of the way! Merry Christmas! Pee-wee Herman is Pee-wee Herman. Hello! In Pee-wee's Big Adventure. Be sure and call him Large Marge, that's ya.
    17:46
    What? Yes, yes, yes. The Tim Burton classic Pee-wee's Big Adventure would be the greatest pinball machine. I mean, the story is perfect for pinball, right? It's very tight. You have to recover Pee-wee's bike. And you go on the most amazing adventure as Pee-wee Herman on your goal to get back that iconic bike. What I love about the Pee-wee world and I love about Tim Burton's film is it's so visually stimulating. The music is amazing. The visual identity of this game would be so incredible, so bright, so colorful. You can think about the mechs, right? You could have that clown with the chain wrapped around it when Pee-wee's bike gets stolen. You could have the basement of the Alamo be a lower playfield, sort of humorous part of the game, which there is no basement of the Alamo. Like, maybe you can never get down there. How funny would that be if there was some funny element there? You also can have, like, him sort of dancing on the bar and doing the whole tequila thing. It's so freaking perfect. You could have Francis' swimming pool as a mechanism in the game. you have to jump in and go after Francis. I love Pee-wee's Big Adventure. I'm trying to think of other scenes from this. There's so many scenes in this movie that are just so iconic. How about the scene where you're making Pee-wee's breakfast? You have to input the code to open up the secret door that shows you his bike in his garage. I know you are, but what am I? Somebody needs to make Pee-wee's Big Adventure pinball. It just has so much personality. And that's the other thing is These movies with personality and humor and colorful worlds that can be brought to life under glass are just so perfect for pinball. All right, let's go on to number seven.
    19:36
    It's Christmas Eve in L.A. California. Is Daddy coming home with you? Well, we'll see what Santa and Mommy can do, okay? A New York cop, John McClane, has come to see his wife. I missed you. Instead, he's going to have to save her sit down within this skyscraper high above the city 12 terrorists have declared war they're about to be taught a lesson in the real use of power there is brilliant because i am interested in the 640 million dollars in your vault as they are ruthless but i'm telling you you're just gonna have to kill me okay we're doing the hard way now the last thing mclean wants think david think is to be a hero but he doesn't have a choice what does he think he's doing they have already killed one hostage channel is reserved for emergency calls only Hey, do I sound like I'm wearing a pizza?
    20:45
    He's inside? Who is he? Who are you then? You are Floss Troublesome for a security guard. Sorry, wrong guess, huh? Would you like to go for double jeopardy?
    21:01
    Do you really think you have a chance against our simplistic cowboy? Yippee-ki-yay! But you just destroyed a building.
    21:12
    And I am in charge of this situation. I got some bad news for you. From up here, that looks like you're in charge of Jack.
    21:19
    He is alone, he's tired, and he hasn't seen Disney Squad from anybody down here. Hey pal, how you feeling? No things be any more rather be showed off here.
    21:33
    I want life. And you have it. Only John can drive somebody that crazy. He's an easy guy to like. Come out to the coast. We'll get together and have a few laughs. And a hard man to kill.
    21:52
    Bruce Willis. Die Hard. Got invited to the Christmas party by mistake. Who knew? Yippee-ki-yay, Gary Stern. Come on, where is this game? How do we not have a diehard pinball machine? This story of John McClane, the New York cop at the Nakatomi Plaza to visit his ex-wife, to hear gunshots ring out during the holiday party, and he has to climb through the air ducts to take out all of these terrorists. This is a great, great movie for a pinball machine because you get both an action movie and a Christmas movie at the same time. And it's perfect, right? You take on the role of John McClane, and you're going through this game, and you're taking out all of the different terrorists. You could easily create those different rooms. You've got to get up to the rooftop. How awesome would this be? How awesome would it be if in Die Hard Pinball, we actually had a topper that looked like the rooftop of the Nakatomi Plaza? And so one of the things is to actually get up there, and then the topper interacts with the gameplay somehow that perfectly simulates that moment in the movie in which the hostages are on the rooftop. Maybe the helicopter blade starts spinning, but you know what I mean. Why don't we incorporate the entire machine's real estate in this pinball machine? How awesome would it be that instead of like a subway system or maybe the habit trails that pop up over the playfield, it would look like the ventilation system from the Nakatomi Plaza, Like you're John crawling through it. You're flying through those air ducts to get to the next part of the pinball experience. How cool would that be? Die Hard. How do we not have Die Hard, okay? Die Hard would make such a great pinball machine. It would be so much fun. And also like the iconic lines from this game. Everybody knows them. Everybody watches this movie every year. And this is just a classic that needs to be made into a pinball machine. Alright, now number six is one that a lot of you might not agree with. And this is one I had to put on here because it is Canada's Pinball Podcast. Now, I'm going to play this for you and then I'm going to explain why. I think this is the kind of theme, if you were to ask me, this is the kind of theme companies like American Pinball should be pursuing. It's a theme that wouldn't be super, super expensive to get. There are no Hollywood celebrities you'd have to pay, but it is a theme that is culturally timeless. It's something that's been around for 30 plus years, and there's a reason why, to this day, this movie is still held up as a work of art, and it is still completely relevant, because the theme of the movie itself is so relatable to what's going on in the world. and it makes you think. It makes you think, but it also would be the ultimate world to put under glass and let me play it for you right now.
    25:11
    All right. The story is you and your friends went out at night on your bikes to visit your dying mother and then another bunch of other biker hooligans called the Clowns attacked you.
    25:25
    I'm terribly sorry to call you here, but there's something you really must see. Why, you... What'd you do?
    25:40
    You wanna ride it, Tetsuo? Hey! You there! Kiss the ground! Hands on your heads! Tetsuo! Hey, wait! You can't take him away like that! We're returning. Hey!
    26:00
    We've got to get out of here, kid. Are you positive that you are able to control such a power? You mean the power of a god? What the hell? I can do this too?
    26:36
    Stupid idiot. You're talking about Tenzo, right? Shut up already. Why do you have to always be hanging on my arm every minute? What the heck has gotten into you? You've been telling me this since we were kids. You always treat me like a kid. Kaneda!
    26:51
    That's Mr. Kaneda to you, punk! I mean, you just have to hear that energy and imagine that world of Neo-Tokyo under the glass in a pinball machine. You want to talk about one of the most iconic movies of all time, you have to look no further than Akira, Kadeshiro Otomo's masterpiece anime, which came out in 1988. Akira's inspiration on the world to this day remains hyper-relevant. It's really the first Japanese anime ever that crossed over into the American market. And if you are any geek or any nerd, You know about Akira, especially if you are in the age demographic of the pinball buyer. But more than that, this movie is held up as a work of art. As a work of art, it is still studied to this day, and the relevance of the story of Tokyo after an atomic bomb, and man's power to control atomic energy, and how teenage delinquent kids stumble upon the governments of the world trying to meddle with the ultimate power to control civilization. It's more relevant today than ever before. But even just the world of Akira is what inspired all of the cyberpunk stuff you guys see in a lot of the modern video games that you're enjoying. I mean, it is incredible. The Neo-Tokyo landscape, the scene in which Kaneda is on his bike and the lights are trilling. Can you imagine that in pinball? If you took someone like Eric and you had modern light show in a pinball machine and you built a miniature version of Neo Tokyo under the glass and had all of those lights going, the neon signs, Kaneda and his biker gang against the clowns, Tetsuo on his throne in the Olympic Stadium, having Tetsuo transform from being human to mechanical in his arm. And then he starts to like increase into this blob at the end. But just think about all the different parts of this movie that could translate so perfectly, so perfectly into pinball. And Akira has it all. This game would be incredible. I'm just talking from an experiential standpoint. It has everything you need and you would not have to spend a fortune. And you're telling me, if games like Rick and Morty can sell out in four hours, if you made an Akira pinball machine with Katashiro Otomo's artwork and the iconic symphonic songs from that movie, and you brought Neo Tokyo to life. I am telling you right now, all of you pinball manufacturers out there who keep complaining you can't afford a license, it's because you're sleeping on licenses like this. Akira would sell out to at least 1,000 people around the world. This has a global fan base that would eat this thing up. Somebody make Akira. Let's move on to number five.
    30:13
    We're finally going back to where we belong. The Colosseum. Oh, you should see the Colosseum, Spaniard.
    30:25
    It rises. rises up like a storm as if you were the thunder god himself you were a gladiator yes I was win the crowd and you'll win your freedom
    30:47
    are you not entertained is this not why you are here Why doesn't the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name?
    31:08
    You do have a name. My name is Gladiator. How dare you show your back to me Slave You remove your helmet and tell me your name
    31:36
    My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the armies of the north. General of the Felix legions. loyal servant to the true Emperor Marcus Aurelius, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance in this life or the next.
    32:12
    You know, there's a reason why I'm letting this score play out like this, because how beautiful is the music in Gladiator, and how amazing is the movie Gladiator? It is probably Russell Crowe's greatest film. But it also takes us back to a time in history that is iconic, the Roman Colosseum. And this film, it really was a film that made a huge impact on a lot of us. And I remember seeing Gladiator for the first time and just being blown away by it. Such a good story. Now, how amazing would a pinball machine be if you had the Colosseum under the glass? Now, imagine this. imagine you play the role of the gladiator and your mission is to get to the Colosseum. You are the Spaniard and you need to defeat the emperor and you want to get revenge for your murdered wife and son. Imagine starting out in the pinball machine in which you're battling in the lesser battles to get to the Colosseum. And when you finally advance to the Colosseum, the Colosseum walls lift up from underneath the playfield. Or maybe it's always there, but imagine if you had like two-thirds of that pinball machine were inside the Coliseum. And maybe you have a set of flippers that are down by the apron, and then maybe you have a set of flippers inside the Coliseum. But this is a game where, again, if you gave it to someone like Eric Minier and said, give me the Coliseum from Gladiator under glass and bring this movie to life. And you want to talk about pinball moments. All the different battles in Gladiator become the moments. And that musical score, again, I can't get over the emotional impact music has on a pinball game. And there are so many iconic scenes in movies where you need the music that goes along with it. And when I look at so many of these pinball machines and how they're coded, everything is always chopped up. Stop chopping up the music. Let it play. Let that iconic theme song play over an iconic scene in the film and give it to us exactly like you just heard it on my clip. it's how you bring the magic of these worlds to life my god somebody make gladiator all right number four is one that i feel strongly about and i want to tell you why this is number four this is number four because this is a movie from my childhood that i'll never get over i love this movie so much and the other thing i want to say about this movie and why you need to make a pinball machine based on just this film. This comes from a series of films based upon someone you know very well. But it is this version of the movie that I think would make for the most perfect pinball game. And the other element of this, besides the movie, and you're going to recognize it, is the soundtrack to this movie. You need to make this pinball machine based on this movie, but have all of these iconic songs that everyone recognizes, and it would make for pinball magic that would blow away most of the games we've been spending $9,000 to $13,000 on. This is amazing. Now, let me play it for you right now. Number four.
    36:04
    You don't want to believe it, but maybe the show is over. And that's easy for you to say. You're still on top. What happens when you're not on top? Then what? Where do we go, Stanley? Stop the fight! The right-wing tries to step in, and he's thrown the bus away. Throw him down! Throw him down! He dies. He dies.
    36:24
    Two worlds collide, rival nations It's a primitive class, winning is a frustration Before, there were reasons. I could understand, but I don't understand this. Even if you win, what have you won? Apollo's still gone?
    36:42
    Why can't you change your thinking? Everybody else does. Because I'm a fighter. That's the way I'm made, Adrian.
    36:50
    That's what you marry. We can't change what we are. Can't change anything, Adrian. All we can do is just go with what we are. Can't go with what you are. Have you read the papers? Do you know what everybody says? It's suicide.
    37:07
    You've seen, you know how strong he is. You can't win. There's no easy way out There's no shortcut home There's no easy way out Giving in can't be wrong Fire, fire, strong desire, rain is deep within.
    37:58
    Fever's rising, energizing, fire to the end. I mean, it almost makes me want to start crying thinking about how amazing a Rocky IV pinball machine would be. And what I love about Rocky IV, you know, East versus West, the United States versus the USSR, Ivan Drago murders Apollo Creed in the ring. Well, it wasn't murder. He beat some fair and square because Rocky doesn't throw in the towel. Imagine this in pinball. Imagine you get to that scene where Adrian tells Rocky you can't win, and he gets in his Lamborghini, and you have the no easy way out. And imagine this in pinball. You have the light show going with the No Easy Way Out song playing, and your goal is to get through the entire track, a la Guns N' Roses playing a song in the New Jersey Jack pinball game. This movie is designed to be almost like one music video after another. And so you would want to play through all of those memorable moments of Rocky IV. Imagine that. It's like the machine goes dark. It's like, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom. It would be so amazing. And as you're hitting the shots, the flashback scenes that Rocky is thinking about in the rearview mirror as he thinks about everything Drago did and the battle he has to face. And then you've got to go train Rocky in the hillsides of Russia with that incredible workout scene where he's doing the Spartan workout chopping wood. I mean, talk about chopping wood in pinball. This is one moment in which pinball chopping wood would be a good thing. And then imagine you get to the ring, right? the transformation. Maybe the ring is an LCD screen and it goes from being that American ring that Apollo fights in and then it turns into the Russian Soviet ring at the end and you have to battle Ivan Drago. Now the marketer in me would launch this game the best way. Imagine this. Imagine if whoever made this game said they are going to give one version of Rocky IV away for free. And here's how you would win Rocky IV pinball. We would go around to all the different pinball shows and we would have people try to punch and see who has the strongest punch. Whoever can register the strongest punch out in the pinball world wins a Rocky IV pinball machine. Just like that iconic scene where Ivan Drago shows that he has the strongest punch in the world and whatever he hits, he destroys. Now you're telling me if Stern Pinball can license Led Zeppelin, if Jersey Jack can license Guns N' Roses, if Stern can license the Beatles, we can't go get that soundtrack from Rocky IV and get Sylvester Stallone to give permission to make this game? I bet you you could do it. I don't care what it costs. Rocky IV. All right, let's get to number three. Melikilikimaka is a thing to say On a bright Hawaiian Christmas day Isn't it a little big? It's not big, it's just full Dad, that thing wouldn't fit in our yard Not going in our yard, Russ It's going in our living room 250 strands of light 100 individual bulbs per strand for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian football lights. Joy to the world!
    42:05
    Beautiful, Clark. Talk about sitting your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was. We worked really hard, Grandma. So do washing machines.
    42:27
    That thing had nine lives. She just spent them all. Woo! Going for a new amateur recreational sausage-sled land speed record, Clark W. Griswold Jr. Remember, no prejudice at home, kids. I am a professional.
    42:49
    Save the neck for me, Clark. Okay, Eddie. Shitter and bull! Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey? Oh, please.
    43:04
    He doesn't know any better. You ought to know it's illegal. It's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it. It's bigger than you expected?
    43:20
    Smaller? What is it? It's a one-year membership in the Jelly of the Month Club. Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
    43:38
    That it is, Edward. That it is indeed. We're going to press on and we're going to have the happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap dance with Danny fucking K. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that Jimmy Knight, we're going to find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.
    43:59
    I thought long and hard about this one because I thought which vacation movie would make the best pinball machine. And obviously the first vacation movie is incredible. European vacation is also very fun but to me Christmas vacation would translate into the best pinball machine and I want to explain why and I wouldn't want to do all three I always hate it when you take like three movies that are in a trilogy and they each have different characters they have different visual settings they have different everything and then you mash it all together and pinball it doesn't work but here's why Christmas vacation would work so well is because the storyline is just perfect and everything in it would be perfect for pinball moments and modes. I mean, think about it. You have to collect the Griswold family Christmas tree. What a great moment that is. Then you have to apply all the lights to the house and get them to work. Imagine a mod, imagine a mechanism in the game in which all of these little LED lights are on the Griswold Christmas house and your entire pinball machine lights up like that house and you see joy to the world. And then the entire house just beams with lights. That would be so epic. You've got the living room. You could make that part of the pinball real estate. You've got the house, you've got the tree. And here would be my favorite pinball mechanism for Christmas vacation. Can you imagine this? You've got Eddie's RV parked in the driveway. You lock the balls in the RV, and guess what happens? You experience the shitter's full multi-ball. Can you imagine how much fun it would be to have shitter's full multi-ball? I'm just going to stop there. You can get why Christmas vacation would be epic. And it's about time we had one pinball machine in the mix that gave us the Christmas holiday spirit. All right, we got two more to go, two more to go. And you might be guessing because you know me what my two favorites would be. And I'm going to put these in no particular order. But man, I would just love to have either one of these. Let's start with number two. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes, sir. The check is in the mail.
    46:52
    You're out of your mind, Wang. God bless you. It all in the reflexes Wait a minute Wait a minute I a reasonable guy but I just experienced some very unreasonable things It depends on how you look at it The hell it does So somebody, I don't care who, tell me what is going on. The truth? I can take it. This is going to take Cracker Jack timing, Wang. Total concentration. You ready, Jack? I was born ready. You're going to come out no more. What? Huh? What will come out no more? Come on!
    47:28
    Damn it! Are they real? Yeah. Dressed for Lopin's wedding. What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion? Yeah. Thought so. Good. What do we do? Drink it? Yeah. Good. Thought so. Oh, the six demon bag. Terrific. A six demon bag. Sensational. What's in it, Egg? Wind, fire, all that kind of thing. Because of the army and navy and the battles they have won. Because to America's colors, the colors that never run. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather. I feel pretty good.
    48:01
    I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of invincible. Me too. I got a very positive attitude about this. Good, me too. Yeah.
    48:13
    It's getting hot in here. Is it just me? You know what old Jack Burton always says at a time like this? Who? Jack Burton. Me. old jack always says what the hell i mean just listening to those call outs is more fun than most modern pinball i've played and that was just two minutes of some of the greatest kurt russell moments in big trouble in little china John Carpenter's surprise cult classic and I've been saying this for so many years Big Trouble in Little China is probably for me it's probably for me one of the greatest themes that needs to be made into a pinball machine it has everything you want it has personality it has a great storyline you know Jack's got to defeat Lopan you've got all these mystical creatures that he has to battle and then you've got Lopan who grows to being like eight or nine feet tall. Now imagine how cool that would be if you had Lopin in the game who rises up. But just the world of Big Trouble in Little China and the campiness of this movie would make for one of the greatest pinball machines. I really don't understand why we're not pursuing this stuff. And I know maybe Kurt Russell is hard to get. Maybe it's impossible. But I heard that Roger Sharp can make miracles happen. So Roger, go get Big Trouble in Little China and make this. Now my number one greatest pinball machine of all time combines everything that would make for the most magical pinball world under glass. It would also make for the most magical pinball moments. It has everything. It has nostalgia. It has one of the greatest soundtracks in movie history. It has one of the greatest themes in movie history. it's based on a story that has a beginning and an end. It's not the entire series. It's one movie. And it features some of the characters from our childhood. And I mean this from 40 to 60 year old men who buy pinball machines. This is the moment. This is the movie. This movie to this day still holds up. You could watch this today and not be bored. And as kids, I mean this, when you saw this movie as a kid, It was traumatizing because this movie did something that no one ever thought it would do. It completely rewrote one of the universes all of us loved growing up as kids. Now, please do me a favor, ladies and gentlemen. Just close your eyes and listen to this. Imagine this world under glass. Imagine this world coming to life in pinball form. Imagine the clips, the music, the sound, the mechanisms. You're going to be able to just envision these mechs when you hear this. And this is why I love pinball. Because pinball designers and pinball companies should be going after stuff like this. And stop wasting our time with the Munsters or the Eagles, which is rumored to be coming out. Stop with these old curmudgeon themes that nobody cares about anymore. Go after the magic. Recreate it. Go after these properties. These studios will license this stuff if you pay the money. We're all paying too much money not to get magical themes like this. Enjoy, and then I will wrap up this episode. Transformers! Megatron must be stopped. No matter the cost.
    52:31
    I'll rip out your optics! Soon, I shall be one with the Matrix. Hey, let's stop here! Why settle for a peek, Daniel? For you can see everything from Lookout Mountain.
    52:52
    A little to the left. A little bit more. Terrible Robin, young punk. I'll straighten you out yet. First, Prime. Then, Ultra Magnus. And now, you.
    53:16
    It's a pity you Autobots die so easily, or I might have a sense of satisfaction now. You got the touch!
    53:30
    You got the... Arise, Rhinos Prime. Optimus. Yeah! The story of Rodimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Optimus Prime, Megatron turning into Galvatron, the Autobots and the Decepticons working together to defeat Unicron, which was Orson Welles' last movie, if you didn't know that. He was the voice of Unicron. I didn't even play the other amazing songs like Dare to be Stupid with the Juncticons. And what else do you have? You have Instruments of Destruction. I mean, this movie is another one of those classic 80s movies. And this is why I said it was traumatizing because people brought their kids to see Transformers the movie. And in the first 10 minutes, Optimus Prime dies. I mean, this movie is the reason why the G.I. Joe movie never even went into theaters. But that is why it was so amazing. The soundtrack was like for adults. The theme was for adults. And so I think that Transformers 1986, the movie, would make for the greatest pinball machine ever. And I mean that ever. Please make this game somebody. And you can see all the mechanisms. You can see Unicron. You can see Autobot Base. You can see Devastator. You can see everything. Galvatron shooting his purple laser gun. The whole thing is incredible. I mean, imagine Starscream having his coronation and you get to destroy him. Like, it would be great. You play both as Galvatron and as Rodimus Prime or Hot Rod. That would be such a cool way to play this game. And then ultimately, at the end, those two storylines converge to take on Unicron. I mean, I can't. So let me wrap up this podcast by saying one thing. I know that I just took us down a journey of 10 really awesome themes. Many of these might not even be possible. I understand there are contracts with musicians. There are contracts with actors and actresses. It is not as easy as it sounds to make a pinball machine that is based on themes like this. But my point is this. This hobby has become so expensive. And I don't think these companies, especially Stern, and I'm talking directly mostly to Stern. I don't think they're trying to get as many of the assets as they can. I don't think they're going after this stuff because all of you out there keep buying so many pinball machines that hardly have any assets that aren't based on things you really want. They're not going after the Avengers movie or Jurassic Park movie. They're going to start making stuff like the current Jurassic Park with no clips from the movie we love. They're not going to make the Avengers movie we love now. They're going to make the comic book version. And this is the wrong direction for pinball. I would rather Stern Pinball and all the other pinball companies out there, I would rather them go after themes like this and get as many of the assets as they can and make these games and only make one or two games a year based on blockbuster themes that have integrated that theme the right way. Because otherwise, what is the point of pinball? what is the point of making these super expensive games that are basically homages to these great themes if you're not going to integrate the theme right if you're not going to give fans of that property what they want what is the point we're going to keep getting led zeppelins with such mediocre and lackluster stuff in it you're not even going to get stairway to heaven in a led zeppelin pinball machine and people need to stop folding over like lawn chairs and buying every single new game that comes out regardless of how magical it is, regardless if there's any pinball moments in it. I mean, think about it. People are buying pinball machines without even playing them, without even seeing how the theme comes to life, without even seeing if there's any pinball moments that are magical that you're going to want to own. They basically are just buying it because they want to buy anything new. And as long as we continue this behavior of buying every new game, As long as we continue this behavior of just cheerleading everything that goes on in pinball, the product is going to continue to suffer. They're going to continue to take more out. They're going to continue to go after themes that are very spartan and very barren and not go after the things you want. And everybody who's listening to Canada's Pinball Podcast, trust me when I say this, you all have the power to say, no, these aren't the themes we want. This isn't integrating it well enough. This isn't the magical theme that's worthy of a pinball machine. And we need to stop the endless cycle of just keep making game after game after game after game. And one out of every 10 is magical. One out of every 20 is magical. No. I'm tired of that. I want to see more Big Lebowskis. I want to see more games like Guns N' Roses. I want to see Pirates of the Caribbean in which Johnny Depp is in the game. We know that they could have got Johnny Depp. I think he was $250,000 per movie to get his stuff in the game. So guess what? Pay that. Charge everybody another $500 or $1,000. I'd rather spend $1,000 more and get Johnny Depp into every one of those games and get the theme song in than have it the way it is. I don't want to play Willy Wonka and not hear the clips. I don't want to play Willy Wonka and not have the musical songs from a musical movie. I don't want to, and I don't want to be told I need to accept it. I don't want to be told that these games are underrated and I'm not appreciating them. I know what good theme integration looks like, and so do you. I know what magical themes are, and so do you. And we need to put our foot down as consumers and demand that these companies bring these things out. Now, American Pinball has just made a lot of promises they're going to use Roger Sharp to go get the magic, and I hope they do. I hope they don't make a lot of original IPs because there's no way after listening to these 10 things, there is no way any original IP will ever make you feel emotionally, will ever stir you as well as those 10 things you just heard. If you're like me, if you grew up like I did, I think those 10 things made you excited. There is no way that some food truck game will do it. There's no way that Black Knight will do it. There's no way that Yukon Yeti will do it. There's just no way that Dialed In will do it. And so why do we think we're going to create the next Whitewater or the next Roadshow? It's not what people want. And maybe when Roadshow was $2,000, we would be willing to accept stuff like that. But these games are super expensive. and I'm telling you right now, it's 2021 and I don't care if you vote for me or not. I don't care if you think this is toxic or not. I am here trying to get everybody in pinball to demand stuff like this and the easiest way to get it is just stop buying all the other stuff. They don't want you to hear this, the manufacturers. The distributors don't want you to hear this but why do we keep buying these things if they are not bringing themes we love to life in the right way? the Big Lebowski, Guns N' Roses. Those are the two games that I put up on a pedestal. If you gave me these 10 themes built like those two games, I would have no choice but to buy all of them. But this is my list. Now, all of you will have your list and your favorites, but these are just 10 of mine that I think would do super well as pinball machines. And I'm curious what you think. Email me at canadapinball at gmail.com. Let me know what you think about my top 10 themes that should be pinball machines, and let me know what yours are, and I will read your top themes in pinball. Now, please, I can't do everyone's top 10. It would be too long, but please share with me what would be your dream pin or two. Let's do it like that. What would be your one or two dream pinball theme that has not been made yet? And I will do a follow-up in which I will share with everybody what you guys and you gals would love to see in pinball form, okay? Thank you for listening to episode 554 of Canada's Pinball Podcast, proof that you can talk a lot about pinball in just one hour, and then we're off to the races. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll talk to you soon. Peace out.
    62:20
    There's no easy way out