on internet let me put my let me put it's like a wonderful life can we do it's a wonderful life you know what i got an idea internet how much shit would i get if i did it if i made a spoof of it's a wonderful life where i decided not to stream pinball we'll make it all black and white all all old-timey and this is not a joke I could do this like this is my job like I can make this happen in like no time you know what it would be I think it would be a slap in the face for a lot of people have done a lot of things for this hobby we're like stern pinball while that company went out of business years ago what if only someone had brought it to the forefront inside with lose it shit yeah pinball that old-timer game nah there was a young prospect named Jack danger but I believe he said pinballs for little poopy pants and nobody should put it on the internet do that they think you'd be covered in piss for like some to retreat so far hell yeah guys get on it let's go help me Bill Gates. We're gonna It's a Wonderful Life pinball also. Let's still be smashing tables and dropping them in the ocean. Yeah, right? Mayor Juliana came back from the dead just to destroy more pinball machines. Mail jubilee omelie. Every time a knocker goes off an angel kisses twice. My God. Can we make a terrible movie, please? Internet, we're... Okay. We're doing this. We're doing this. Listen, it's self-serving as hell, and I am in love with the idea. every person on the face of the planet is going to be pissed Destilette for 27 months in a row thank you for maintaining your membership to the league you're amazing, ladies and gentlemen flippers and butts up show some love in chat, I love you buddy thank you so much, 27 months is huge Snowcone, thanks for the host Bitty Body, Christmas Story Lake Lamp Broken What the fuck was that? Throw some jokes in there about other people. Yeah right. You would hope other people would get in there but no. Hold on I got a text. You got that old timey voice down there? Yeah. Heh. Local pinball company goes on it because no one gives a shit. Ticka ticka picka ticka, this just in, ticka ticka picka ticka picka ticka picka. Well I believe pinball might be on its last leg. Stanky leg. How do we have 130... I haven't been paying attention. We're, like, killing it. Oh, baby. Are you guys excited to see who wins the Twippy Awards? I really hope TNA takes it. I hope TNA takes it all. You got people looking at you. Dude, that's my life. If I had a dollar... Actually, I should ask people for dollars. You guys want to learn how to play pinball? X-ray, X-ray, read all about it. X-ray, X-ray, read all about it. Pinball company extinct. JD goes back in time and makes Roger Sharp miss his shot. Pinball's illegal forever. Okay, hold on. Someone write this shit down. That's got to be like the second half of it. Where we resolve everything and accidentally go back in time again and I trip over Roger and he misses his shot. Internet. We're about to make a stupid, terrible movie about how I'm responsible for pinball being huge. Okay? Okay. Dash Rendar with 100 booties, thank you so much, you sexy son of a bitch. Ladies and gentlemen, can I get some hearts in chat? X-Tree, X-Tree, read all about it. The second half is you ruining all forms of gaming. Cool, huh? If pinball remains illegal, prices go down. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. I will say, and I don't want to jinx it the face cam and the mic have been going for a while here's, oh, yo Evil Jack Danger with no mustache oh man, you'd have to, oh I could shave it off, yeah the mustache is fine it's the crumb catcher I can't get rid of because you'll see my face butthole Hey everybody, it's Jack Danger, it's me, I don't have a mustache, I must be a not evil. Illegal things are usually more expensive. Ain't that the truth. Got an operator alert, Jack? Better call Gavin. This is Gavin's machine, by the way. Or they bought it from Gavin. Drill alert. Jack wrote the game. I break games. Oh, you mother father. You know what the problem is? I haven't hit a shot. Somewhere. My evil lair. That's just it. Jack Danger stopped streaming pinball. The pinball industry goes under. Everybody has to stop playing video games. We call them movie talkies. Talkie movies. Slappy movie talkie. Controllies. We call them controllies. The bag of towers back in action. Flippers have been removed from all pinball machines due to their inability to control the ball. Pinball's illegal? Thank you, Jack Danger, you're the best. Please! Motherfucking. Oh, Alice in Wonderland sign. Did you bite your lip as a small child? Oh, you mean my butthole? No, I had a labray piercing. You didn't see my model photos on Twitter, dude? Go look at them. They're terrible. Internet, someone pull up the rude boy photo of me with my septum piercing, my labrae, the tie, my wingtips. Drac Dantle. Pachinko takes over the universe. Get a curse placed on him by a butthole gypsy. Fucking. I curse you, butthole. Roboloco, you didn't see... Listen, someone find that tweet. I'll... You know what? I'll fucking find it. Hold on. You were handsome AF? No, dude. I looked like a dildonk. Then she died. She died. She died? She died? Good luck. Have fun. My phone froze. Thank you, Wolf. Take a look at that photo and tell me you wouldn't make out with that dude when you were I don't know how old I was there, like 17? The pose is the best priority. Listen. Number one. The guy that took those photos I'm having some foggy memories. I think that dude tried to he like approached me at a mall. He's like, hey, as we come back to my house in the suburbs I'm a photographer! I could, uh, you could be a model!" And I'm like, oh, me? Well, let's go back to your house in your basement and take photos. And, um, I ended up storming out of that. So, I ended up storming out of that. But I got the photos. No, the blonde hair photo, that one was real. That one was real. That one was awesome. Did he make you shower beforehand? I was in a well and I had to put some lotion on, but I didn't think anything of it. I was just like, this guy's an artist, you know? Kramer doing George's Christmas card? Yeah, right. Yeah, right, Keg, listen. I've had, I've had, uh, I've had a few moments in my, uh, in my life where I've been in some sketchy freaking situation. You guys want to hear one creepy, listen, here's a creepy story that I've never told anybody. So, I'm like 17, alright, maybe 16, and I am in the middle of like nowhere, because I went to like walk to my friend's house to party, you know, I'm 16, when I was 16, I was getting drunk and smoking cigarettes and being a real shithead, I go to the house, no one's there, I'm like, fuck, like, I walked all the way here, like, took hours, you know, so I'm sitting on the, the corner in front of this, like, closed down, uh, uh, mattress store or something, I don't know what it was, and, uh, a guy pulls up, nice dude, and it started raining, he's like, hey, because I was literally sitting in the dark by myself, and there was no cell phones at the time, you know, there's none of that shit, like, what's up, do you need a ride, and I was like, yeah, man, I'm going to, I'm going to Zion, or something, like, I don't know what neighborhood I was going to, he's like, yeah, man, I can give you a ride, I'm heading that way, and I was like, cool, so I get in his car, right, and I was like, man, thank you, this is really awesome, you know, very, very kind of you, and as we're talking, he's literally driving where I want him to go, which is awesome. But as we're talking, his hand is, like, you know on automatics where you, like, have the shifter and you just leave it? So his hand was on that, and slowly over the conversation, his hand was creeping over to my leg. Until, like, halfway to where I needed to go, his hand was half on my leg and his pinky was rubbing my leg. And I was like, at first I was like, uh, this dude's kind of old, maybe he doesn't realize. but then like the hand starts getting creepier and grabbier and I was like oh this dude knows exactly exactly exactly what he's doing okay so yeah wax exactly so old old guy old guy so we're driving and immediately my first my first instinct was like okay fuck like what do we do I'm stuck in this car this dude's going like 65, uh, I was like, yeah, so my dad's the sheriff of Zion, and he, like, and I just start spewing out this bullshit, like, yeah, you know, he's gonna be waiting for me down the way, you know, whatever, and I'm soaking wet in a white t-shirt, and it's terrible, Right. And, uh, you know, eventually his hand is fully grasping my leg, and we get to, like, three-fourths, we get three-fourths of the way there, and we come to a stop, uh, a stop sign, right? and um i'm just like yo you can let me out here and he's like why don't we go over here and starts turning into like industrial fucking nowhere and as he's turning like i just sort of like karate chop his arm a little bit and he he like gasps and i jump out and i like slam the door and I kick the fucking door in as hard as I could and just took off running into like the woods, you know? Um it was uh it was it was a it was a terrifying moment super fucking terrifying yeah stream just got dark yo welcome me too i just saying shit spooky shit is spooky shit is spooky the thing that kills me is like it's not like maybe I was misleading or whatever I was like a fucking child being picked up by an old man scary indeed yeah mods can we change the title to Jack reveals awful dark secrets of his past Yeah, I'm mellowed. He probably thought I was, like, working a corner. I don't fucking know, dude. But I for sure fucked that dude's car up. The stupid thing is, that isn't the only time that's happened to me. I'm just a little too trusting. I actually get in trouble for that, because, like, I have trouble saying no to people. And my wife can attest to this. Like, that song, you can have whatever you like. You know that song? Laura hates that song. Let me tell you why. I'm at a, and I might have told this to you guys already. this is just like proof that I can't fucking say no um no I didn't tell the cops about that story uh we're at a Halloween party Laura and I this is years ago I think we were dating for like two years something like that and this chick who is like covered head to toe in tattoos right so we go to this Halloween party this chick is there giant throat tattoo she has like tattoos on the side of her face, like, on her head, like, just tattoos everywhere. And she's in this skin-tight, like, onesie leopard print swimsuit thing. Who was she for Halloween? Who knows? Who knows? I don't know. I think I was, like, Freddy Krueger or something. And, um, so we go to this and we're partying for a while and this girl keeps catching my eye and like whatever whatever and she comes up with me and she just grabs me she's like follow me downstairs and drags my ass down the stairs at any point i just be like you get down there she throws me against the wall and that song you could have whatever you like comes on and she just starts grinding on me and i'm just like uh Okay. She was a pin-up model. It was like mega, mega uncomfortable time. And I'm like, yo, I got a girlfriend. And she's like, I'm not trying to put a ring on it. And I'm just like, you literally just said that. I've never heard that in real life ever in my life. So effing uncomfortable. Jaden, why would you question that I'm telling bullshit stories? I haven't told you guys a bullshit story ever. This is terrible too. I know. That's just like a testament to how I get into situations sometimes. I'll tell you, my winking gets me in more trouble than anything else. Where was this party at? It was at a apartment complex in Logan Square. Actually, I think it was the apartment of my now ex-girlfriend's husband. I think it was at Paul Kropelka's apartment. Laura, can you confirm that? Super gay time! Yo, Black and Knight for three months in a row Thank you for maintaining your membership to the league You're amazing, ladies and gentlemen You did tell us you glued your butthole shutters Well, that's not true Like a penthouse party? Nah See, Laura can confirm Don't talk to her about this stuff, guys We're fighting right now Black and Knight, thank you so much, buddy I love you Three months in a row That support is beautiful And you are too. Oh, please! Jack is fighting? Uh-huh. Sure thing, Laura. Laura. Is there a version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but there's like three people instead of two? Jack's fighting a cold. Whose side should we be on? Armored Dead. Hot Soup for two years, man. Holy crap. Two freaking years. Hot Soup, thank you for maintaining your membership to the league. You're amazing, ladies and gentlemen. Flippers and butts up for that new OG. And Jazzy Wazzy for two months in a row. whoop whoop I'm tipsy how's it only been two months Jazzy what the hell how you doing buddy thanks darling for that support flippers and butts up for JazzyWazzy904 um alright internet I think we're gonna kill the stream here in just a moment I'm on team Charlie yeah team Charlie wins Chuck is the best I think Charlie just started saying koala there. Or koala. She says koala. Yo, Goran, what's up, sexy? Goran, what's wrong? Jazzy, wazzy. No, don't go. Okay, fine, I won't. I'm just trying to... I'm not sure what team I'd be on. Yo, team lore is the way to go. If you like assholes. Hey, it's my show. I can say whatever I want. Except for when I get home, I'm going to be in trouble. Give me! Please! Ka-wah-wah. Deadflip, is it cool if I have a Chicago streamer meet you next time you're in Logan? Both her dad and her... Dude, sell. Absolutely, man. Absolutely. You can say whatever you like. Uh-oh. I don't think the lock bar is on this. You better be doing the trick next. Yo, sell. That'd be great, man. I'd love to. Goran's just jealous. Man, come on. What? Jazzy Wazzy gifted a $4.99 sub to Goran. Oh my god. Jazzy, thank you for the support. Goran, welcome to the league. You're amazing, ladies and gentlemen. Flippers and butts up. Holy freaking farts. You're beautiful. Hearts up for everybody. Jazzy, listen. Come to Chicago, you turd. Let's party. What's taking you so long? Groovy. Why did it say groovy? What the hell is taking you so long, dude? Swaggis. Swaggis, I feel like I haven't seen you in a while, man. So what was our biggest achievement on this machine tonight? Being 40 million away from GC, which is not a lot of points. This game is all multiball control, man. Get fat bastard multiball and just control the shit out of it, and you're good to go. Really, all the rest of the multiballs are garbage. Like, this multiball sucks, man. Look at this. Even though the ball save is so good, who knows what the sensitivity of the... I want to call it the ironmonger. Control it, man. Very forgiving ball saves, though. Jesus, how many times do I have to fucking hit this guy? Alright, he's down. If your cam hadn't froze, you'd have gotten GC. I think so, man, because I lost one of my balls. Alright, so we have a beneficial malfunction going on. The ball's stuck in a pop. That's not beneficial. Malfunction. 12 million? Holy shit. That's just a malfunction. I'm getting my mojo back. Alright, go down, idiot. Why is there a baby bottle for... You know what? I gotta watch these movies again. I mean, I don't think I want to, but... That should be Fat Bastard Multiball. Now, here's where you make your money. Fat Bastard is easy cash. Because everything's lit. Everything's lit. Oh my god, I'm hitting nothing. Alright. Poppity pop. Ooh! There we go. Are you hearing the ooze at least? Alright. There you go. That didn't count for some reason. That sucks. God, the smell of marijuana is so strong. I suspect these movies probably didn't age well. Yeah, that's what I'm guessing. Yeah, I'm hearing them. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. Jazzy! Wait, did you answer me? When are you coming to Chicago? Ding dong. Why did... Okay. Looks like Windows updates might have saved your laptop. No, I did something. I unplugged and replugged something in a different place in a different configuration alright time machine time machine is such a dangerous shot when I'm not poor lol listen you're a partnered streamer you make millions of dollars shut up Okay, time machine's good money too. Alright, extra ball's lit, fam. Oh my god, dude, the auto-launcher on this just sucks. Wait, I missed the fact that you gifted me a sub. I walked away and I scored. Jazzy hooked you up, man. She's, uh... That's her New Year's resolution, is to get me as many subs as possible. Very kind of her. Very kind of her. millions holding KU so far. It's true. Jazzy is the best. She's great. I'm subbing, subbing. Back, back to Jazzy. Jazzy. Big slap. I made a deal on my channel. If I hit 150 subs by next SwitchCon, I have to dress up as... Okay. Okay. I think that's doable. Internet I going for GC on this shit Shit, I looked away. Hold on, what's that comment? What's your favorite thing that's happened behind you you've been streaming in public? Oh, man. Do you guys remember... What was that chick's name that took over my stream? What was her name? Brussels? Brattles? Yeah. What was that chick's name? I don't know, man. There's just been way too many great things. Honestly, streaming in public is the coolest shit ever. What? We were one shot away. Screaming Ghostbusters oh dude that that wasn't my favorite that was unfortunate just remember that one time that lady gave birth to a baby behind the table flip mode if only flip mode thank you for maintaining your membership to the league you're amazing ladies and gentlemen flippers and butts up show some love and chat for that four months in a row dude I love you we need 200 million points we're getting it right now flip mode this is for you buddy no no one gave birth behind me but the scream that shit was ridiculous Can he do it? 500 million. Yes, he can. Yes, he can. Come on. Oh, yeah, Jack, I've been compiling a Google Maps list of pinball-related places you mentioned. Oh, damn, Sin. Can you private message me that, my man? Alright, we're back to that one frickin' shot. Am I... Am I blind? Why am I doing this? Did my brain stop farting? Oh my god. Something good just happened. Miss, what did he want me to shoot? Shoot left ramp. Wants me to shoot Austin Powers. Got it. I hope that was a chair behind me that I just kicked. It's just timeout, dude. Jay Huggin. Alright, can I make the shot from across the playfield? Wizard mode baby! Oh my god, that move. I just moved this game like fucking nine feet. Let's go, boys. All right. I totally spaced on that ball being on the flipper. welcome aboard junior yeah thank you yeah yo me etc for 30 months in a row thank you for maintaining your membership to the league you're amazing ladies and gentlemen flippers and butts up for my boy 30 the dirty 30 dude me etc how you doing bud Thanks for your help with the pinball crap I was talking about earlier. So this is paying out really, really, really, really well. I didn't pick up my mail because they were closed today. I was also out of town. I'm getting a lot of super jackpots. Did I win yet? In a minute? I got an idea. I'm going to drain all these. How much are those super jackpots worth? Because I'm getting a lot of them. Did I break the game? I mean, I'll just plunge these. That's fine. The near tilt broke the game. Listen, we'll just put up a world record. You're stuck at infinite jackpot mode? Oh, so I can just do this all day? Is that really a think flip mode? There's no way, dude. There's no way. Is this for real? Pinball is a game with skill? Hey, let's be honest, okay? It took me a while to climb this hill. I deserve these points. Alright. This is why you're the best in the world. I'm number one, baby. I'm number one, baby. We're taking it to a billy. Let's see Keith match this guy. Yeah, screw you, Keith. We're going to shoot around to see what undoes the ball save because something has to do it. I think I've got to shoot this shot on the left here. I think we've got to finish this fat bastard shot on the left. Skill and Skrill. What would they do if this happened in a tournament? this is a complete breakdown. I vote just leave it and go home. Oh, so someone else can do this? No, man, we gotta put our name on here so no one can touch our score. Alright, we're gonna make a few shots here. Because I think if we shoot Fat Bastard... What are we at? I think that... I think that will turn it off. Okay, we're good. We fixed it, Internet C. Listen, I'm a fair man. I'm a fair man. Yo, Big Baller, what's up? I turned it off. You're welcome. Not before we get a billion points, though. Me, etc., I love you, dude. But now I know where the money's at. You gotta shoot that frickin' left orbit, dude. Where the ball is at? Just shoot that over and over again. Welcome aboard, Tex. Frosty thumb. So maybe that wasn't a bug? Okay. Just kidding. Oh man, you're going to make me play pinball now? Come on. Yo, Ms. Zombie, holy crap, for 23 months in a row, you're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, flippers and butts up, show some love and chat for Ms. Zombie. Ms. Zombie, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, girl. How you been? Long time. Long time no see. Thank you for your continued support. You were one month away from the OG two-year status. I don't know if it was a stuck switch, man. I'm feeling pretty good about this. Something was wrong. It had to have been. They're making shots like it came unstuck. Okay, cool. Cool. I mean, that's fair. I will accept that. I will accept that answer. I still have all three balls. Uh, strobing shots are 2x. Okay. The game doesn't expect you to just walk away. I hope this goes up on YouTube. Why? So people can call bullshit? Okay, we gotta shoot fat bass. Shit. I mean, turd. 9 million for that. Okay, so everything should be 3x now. Oh, it's still 2x? Oh, that sucks. Did that guy just dab behind you? Probably. Guys like that. 22 million for one shot on Austin Powers' internet. Something smells like delicious fried something. Nice. The regular jackpots are worth a crap load now instead of the supers. What's the super worth now? 20 Empor... Where you at today? I am at Emporium in... Fulton Market. Come on over here. They got a crazy great selection of games here. Oh, that just smells like delicious Thai food. Oh. bonuses at 33x dude we're by the way all these jackpots are like we're playing for this right now just so you know oh that was almost a goner Shit, there it goes. Well, that's the end of that. Feels good, man. This is the Barry Bonds of pinball scores. I like what you did there. I see what you did. Yeah, we only needed 500 million. I'm using PEDs, yes. Oh, the frickin' mini-me spinner, dude. What's a GC? Grand Champion. That means the highest score on the game. Not in the world, just on that machine. Our fat bastard multiball is lit. And I having the worst time shooting it Grand Champion the person that gets to take the pinball machine home 285 members, oh man. That's what I'm saying. Not being able to stream that week. Kills. Oh shit. Oh good, it came back. Damn it. How did that ball come back? I ain't angry. I'm just curious. Oh, that ball's gone. Okay. Let's strap up. Curious. They're doing a week-long Decades theme event at work. I convinced them to put a pinball machine. Nice, dude! How did that ball come back, says the man who already knows the game is broken. Some of you might know the game isn't broken. It's just paying an homage to me. Fucking damn right I'm going to brag about this score. With an asterisk at the very end. Mojo win. It's on NFL. See, I'm smacking it from the... You have to hit it from the left, which is weird. Table knows who I am, exactly. It's like, oh, Jack deserves these parts. I'll say this, okay? I bet we would have already surpassed the 500 without that bug. We would have surpassed the 500 without that bug. 47x bonus. What did he shoot for? Uh... Time Machine again, maybe? Shit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we would have blasted past that 500. Happy New Year, Pins Rule. How you doing, buddy? Are you guys still in the States? South Park is a good example. No, give me the ball back. Shit. So what do these full lights mean? In Vegas for another five days. Wow, damn, you're in the States for a while, my man. Alright, we're getting sloppy. With our gameplay, not our training. How high can it go? We'll see. But this bonus is going to be didonkulous, man. Groovy! 51. 51. I'm no good at making that freaking left ramp, man. Groovy! How does pinball work exactly? Is it like Pokemon? Yeah. It's like Pokemon or something. You know what sucks, though? This was, like, an amazing ball that got compromised by a bug. You know? Which is kind of a bummer. This was an amazing game that got compromised by a bug. Advance Shag. EBs are not off. I already used two, I think. Actually, I'm not even sure. Don't tilt, idiot. Groovy. 52X. Ruining otherwise great stuff, exactly. Because this is, like, going incredibly well. Yeah, did the snow lose its appeal yet? Emily took home a wad of cash last night at Flipper Spiel. Dude, that's awesome, man. Congrats. Give her a high five for me, my man. Freaking stealing from the states. Trying to get every light on this playfield lit up. I knew that was death. Damn it. Alright, check out this bonus. Put this on YouTube! I'm sorry, what was the GC again? Yeah, Emily was on stream with me, for sure. Welp, that was a good night. See you tomorrow, folks. That bonus alone, dude. Call Jack a florist, because he got them flowers! Only minimal gloating allowed, Mr. Super Jackpot. Here's the thing. Melo. I had 350, okay? Now write this number down. 350 million, alright? Going into that broken Super Jackpot mode, okay? Let's say that whole Super Jackpot thing, up until the point where I got it fixed, was non-existent, alright? So, that's... Take a billion points off of there. okay and I'm being very generous take a billion off of there we still fucking destroyed this pinball machine pantomime's jacking off I still see you, I fucking love you man a lot of your multiplayer came from the glitch however I believe you could yeah yeah yeah Emily was mini assassin absolutely wait Sarah wait I'm having a brain fart yeah we're doing the stickers and all that stuff this week appendigo's highest is 691 we beat that legitimately i wish that bug didn't fucking happen because we would have had the highest score in there that's very frustrating that's very frustrating because we would have destroyed that because if you knock a billion off of there which is being generous, we still have almost a billion points. Shit. World record. Alright, Internet. It's time for me to go. Tune in tomorrow? I think we're going to play... Do you want to see Rescue 911, No Good Gophers, or Soprano? Oh, you know what? I love ending on a note like this. I feel like I just had sex with every person in the room. You know? Every single person. And now we're just putting our clothes back on. We just showered. I just finished a cigarette. like it's, we did it, you know? I consent. SLC, I love you, dude. Emily's waiting for stickers. It's coming. Sarah's yet to earn anything. Very true. Nice score. Nice score. H-N-Y and Sopranos. Sopranos will be good. Covers the B-hole. Mouth hugs, man. Mouth hugs. I think I figured out the problem of the... Uh-oh. I gotta drive home. I should be careful. Where's that fucking cable? Okay, be good! I love you. We got almost two billion on Austin Powers. I'm the greatest pinball player ever. Someone remind me about the movie. The movie. We gotta make the spoof. It's a wonderful life, but the twist is, what happens to pinball if Jack Danger never streamed? I love it. You guys are geniuses. Alright, goodnight. Be good. Thank you to all the subs, the resubs, the donations, the bits. Honestly, like, the support is out of control. I love you guys. First stream of the year. We freaking killed it. Literally. Killed this game. What if? You're not a big fan of what if stories? Well, Lord Squeak, that's why we're making it, because it's going to piss off everybody. It's going to piss off everyone. Alright, kiddos, be good! Everyone, hearts in chat, I love you, goodbye! Bye, baby. Boobie, boobie. Bye, baby, boobie, boobie, baby. What was the bonus? 200 million. It was 200 million points. Fucking God. It was 200. It was like 91 million. Hold bonus. 91 million.