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Torpedo Alley Pinball

Dead Flip·video·1h 24m·analyzed·Aug 14, 2021
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Analysis

claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 · $0.024

TL;DR

Jack Danger plays Torpedo Alley, praising its chaotic, high-intensity Data East design despite mechanical issues.

Summary

Dead Flip (Jack Danger) plays Torpedo Alley, a 1988 Data East pinball machine borrowed from Keith Elwin's personal collection at Sam Stern Pinball. The video documents extended gameplay with commentary on the machine's intense, over-the-top design featuring wire-form ramps, numerous flashing lights, trough issues, and chaotic multiball sequences. Despite initial confusion about rules and mechanics, Danger enjoys the game immensely and expresses intent to add it to heavy rotation.

Key Claims

  • Torpedo Alley is a Data East game from 1988

    high confidence · Direct statement: '1988, ladies and gentlemen' and game identification throughout

  • Keith Elwin owns the Torpedo Alley machine being played and allowed Dead Flip to borrow it from his office at Sam Stern Pinball

    high confidence · Direct statement: 'Keith Harry Allen...What a nice guy' and 'This is Keith Harry Allen's personal game He let us take it out of his office at Sam Stern'

  • The machine has persistent trough issues causing double ball situations

    high confidence · Repeated mechanical problem identified: 'something's up with the trough', 'gave me two balls again', suggests faulty trough switches

  • Keith Elwin said Torpedo Alley is 'the cheesiest game ever'

    high confidence · Direct quote: 'Did Keith Elwin have an opinion on this game? quote him enjoy the cheesiest game ever! Direct quote.'

  • Sam Stern owns the Data East intellectual property

    high confidence · Direct statement: 'Sam Stern bought the Data East IP, right? Yeah. Well, Sam Stern is Data East for all intents and purposes.'

  • Torpedo Alley is a rare game that was in an office collection

    high confidence · Direct statement: 'This is Keith Harry Allen's personal game' and characterization as rare/collectible

  • Torpedo Alley has a VPX version available

    high confidence · Direct statement: 'I was told earlier in there chat that there's a very good rendition of this on VPX'

  • The game has excessive flashing lights that caused epilepsy concerns

    high confidence · Direct statement: 'Epilepsy warning internet I apologize I did not know this game flashed as much as it did'

Notable Quotes

  • “This thing is wild and over the top, and I don't know how to play it”

    Jack Danger (Dead Flip)@ 0:09 — Establishes the game's chaotic design philosophy and Danger's unfamiliarity

  • “Sam Stern is Data East for all intents and purposes”

    Dead Flip crew member@ 19:26 — Clarifies ownership of Data East IP and current licensing situation

  • “This game is fun, dog...This game is fun.”

    Jack Danger@ 29:07 — Core sentiment about the machine despite mechanical issues and confusion

  • “Everything's flashing. What do you shoot when everything's flashing? You shoot everything.”

    Jack Danger@ 13:18 — Humorous observation about the game's overstimulating design

  • “My forearms hurt...It's a workout?”

    Jack Danger@ 73:07 — Physical intensity of playing the machine; design demands constant flipping and engagement

  • “I i know that i'm enjoying a pinball machine when i look at my phone and realize where the frick did the stream just go”

    Jack Danger@ 50:30 — Meta-commentary on how engaging the game is—lost track of time during stream

  • “You're literally fighting this game the entire time you're playing”

    Jack Danger@ 72:53 — Describes the intense, adversarial gameplay dynamic

Entities

Jack DangerpersonKeith ElwinpersonSam SternpersonTorpedo AlleygameData EastcompanyDead FliporganizationSam Stern Pinballorganization

Signals

  • ?

    community_signal: Keith Elwin's active involvement in pinball community; owns rare machines; quoted directly on game quality assessments

    high · Torpedo Alley owned by Keith Elwin; his quote about game quality solicited and referenced; machine kept at Sam Stern Pinball location

  • ?

    design_philosophy: Data East design approach emphasizes sensory overload—excessive flashing, continuous sound feedback, numerous active switches/targets, chaotic multiball behavior

    high · 'Everything is flashing', 'Epilepsy warning', 'never stop making lights flash', '10-point switch behind' every rubber/target, continuous sound effects

  • ?

    licensing_signal: Sam Stern holds Data East pinball IP; controls availability and potential remakes of legacy Data East titles

    high · Direct statement: 'Sam Stern bought the Data East IP, right? Yeah. Well, Sam Stern is Data East for all intents and purposes'

  • ?

    community_signal: Keith Elwin's involvement with Sam Stern Pinball ecosystem; personal collection housed at business location

    high · Direct statement that Torpedo Alley is 'Keith Harry Allen's personal game' stored in office at Sam Stern Pinball; implies ongoing relationship/sponsorship

  • ?

    product_concern: Persistent mechanical defects on Torpedo Alley including trough switch failures causing unwanted double-ball situations throughout play session

    high · Repeated trough issues: 'gave me two balls again', 'something's up with the trough, ladies and germs', 'I think it's the trough', 'fix this problem we gotta put it up top'

Transcript

youtube_groq_whisper · $0.252

0:00
What's up, YouTube? Today we're going to be playing Torpedo Alley by Data East. I just picked this up from a buddy of mine. I've never seen the game before. We just played a quick test game. This thing is wild and over the top, and I don't know how to play it, so let's just get right into it. Right? Right.
0:17
Balls are missing. How is that even possible? Welcome, Commander. Can you hear that it just said, Welcome, Commander? You can hear all that?
0:30
Okay, let's make it make some noise. Commander danger. That's the first time that hasn't popped in there.
0:44
Okay. What is spelling sub doing? Oh, shards. Okay, so it's a green target ready, which means the green... If we shoot the green sub over here...
1:03
We can kill it? Okay, let's get it. I'm confused. Bonus MP, I believe. Here's what Pintip says. Orange triangle relights kickback.

  • “We're for sure putting this into heavy rotation internet. Absolutely.”

    Jack Danger@ 81:36 — Strong endorsement and intent to regularly feature the machine

    • 1:24
    There's an orange triangle? Collect different colored target banks to qualify Destroy fleet shot I'm going to restart the air Spell torpedo To light jackpot You spell something on this game?
    1:45
    Where do you spell Alright here we go All right. Torpedo tube one ready. I think there's too many balls in this game, honestly.
    2:11
    Because it just spit two out. Torpedo, full speed ahead. Door is locked down. Torpedo of the pancreas. Got it. Spell torpedo.
    2:32
    Is there another ball in here? No. I see one. No, there's three balls in here. Jack cheating already? It has three balls.
    2:52
    Torpedo alley. Thank you, Bingy. I gotta restart because it like gave me two balls accidentally all right bingy what do I shoot for here we go the outfits though I think one of the trough switches is flaky
    3:24
    All right, I found that. All right. I think I got it. Welcome, Commander. Frick. Never knew the C-ball.
    3:59
    Polish the torpedo, Jack. During a multi-ball shoot for the stand-ups, how do you get multi-ball? No!
    4:06
    I started a two-player game, I'm fresh. It's easy to forget that there's a flipper up there. Spelling sub, lights lock. Okay. The fact that that ramp shot works.
    4:42
    Love a good physical kickback. Okay, don't leave your foot, bro. Okay, I want to shoot this orbit. This game is nuts.
    5:32
    All right, that target does not seem to be cooperating. Guess it doesn't need to. Yeah, there's always something flashing in this game. Look at this. Always. and you can only change uh suck my butt tournament strategy for indisc was completing the drop targets there's drop targets? oh yeah uh over and over again the fun part of the game is scoring that jackpot the jackpot is pretty great because it's over the top Go Pro View is needed for this game. I will... I didn't design a Go Pro View for it, but this game's going to be living here for a long time, so it'll happen. Eventually.
    6:40
    That ramp is wild. It's just a wire form jammed into the play field. God damn it. It gave me two balls again.
    6:57
    Yeah, something's up with the trough, ladies and germs. So I gotta I'll bring that up to maybe Mardude Can you stage flip? Yes I'm trying to start the multiball proper so that I don't Okay Damn it, Lonnie, you're programming.
    7:37
    Lonnie, rock programming this. Yeah, shit, something's up here. Okay, we're good. Ronnie Lop Program Pimple Machines 2 Ronnie Lop I love the little boat toy are you really going to double dream me dog what does it want me to do you're blinking
    8:23
    Shit! The main character in Tecmo Super Bowl. My God, this machine is intense. It's a lot. We've got to figure out this double ball problem.
    8:43
    Yellow target. So, is the male captain with an all-female crew? Yes, that's what it looks like. That's what it looks like. All right, I think we solved the problem. Please spit one ball out.
    9:11
    Convoy spotted, sir. You shoot the left orbit to do something or another. Got it, to do something or another. Got it. So sink a ship, shoot the left orbit to do something or another.
    9:31
    Oh yeah, I see the left shot. Okay, that gave me money. Okay, we're doing it. We're figuring stuff out.
    9:49
    I don't know if there's a tilt. Oh. clip it. Alright, here we go. Alright, so yeah, the... It's hard... So here's the thing. It's hard to follow the flashing shots on this game because everything is flashing.
    10:11
    It thinks a ball's missing. What the fuck? Welcome, Commander. Love that plunge. All right, yeah, we got trough issues, ladies and gentlemen. uh wait why are we talking about the sexual preference of the captain on a fake ship no
    11:12
    What wouldn't fly today? What are we talking about? Alright. Yeah, something... Something ain't right here.
    11:28
    Make Gavin fix it? Someone call Gavin immediately. Battleships. Yeah, I have those from time to time. Get around.
    11:46
    Turn on the Gavin signal. Oh, it didn't pop in. And I got belly bricked, too. Or I should say data bricked.
    12:01
    Something ain't right. It's a data east. Nothing is right. You get those actors and tell them, this is going on a pinball machine. Just got here. Never seen this pin. Looks sick. It's wild.
    12:14
    Okay, so our green ship is ready to go. We killed it. 40 years later, streamed on the internet. Yeah. Don't want contact. Damn the Dorbidos.
    12:45
    Every ball? Okay, we're good. I have 2x playfield running? How the hell did that happen? Okay, something... I don't fucking know what's going on in this game.
    13:18
    Everything's flashing. What do you shoot when everything's flashing? You shoot everything. There's like a mosquito in here trying to get my pin blood.
    13:44
    There's a yellow target? Oh, up top. No! Holy frick. Yeah, 1002 Purdue. Serious question. Is this the wildest game of pinball?
    13:58
    No. It's one of the wildest I've played in a very long time. Holy frick. Welcome, Commander. Thank you.
    14:14
    Hi, Internet. Sorry if I'm sort of scatterbrained here. Okay, so the pops don't do anything of interest, really.
    14:26
    Okay. The blue's ready for sinking. Oh, I sunk it. Okay, we sunk blue. Let's hit the ramp. That ramp is tough.
    14:40
    Also, the game's leaning left heavily. I don't understand. Man, sometimes targets give me credit, sometimes they don't. It could just be the age of the game, or I can't tell if it's like a code, but it works that time.
    14:59
    Okay, we got a lot. Okay, we're good. You're making Thai green curry for dinner. Oh my god, that sounds amazing. Did Elwin have an opinion on this game? to quote him enjoy the cheesiest game ever!
    15:20
    Direct quote. Shit, two balls? Damn it. So to fix this problem we gotta put it up top. Or put it in the lock ramp. just everything everything flashes got the thinnest piece of rod stock on the right out lane
    16:07
    And for some reason we're getting 100k a hit How did we get 7 million? Wait, welcome aboard, kid Happy sixth year Sixth year? Hold on
    16:30
    Uh Pinballers, thank you for 72 months in a row, you're amazing Ladies and gentlemen, slivers and buzzards Dude, the jackpot on this is amazing. I don't know what's happening. We've got a jackpot. That's what's happening.
    17:05
    And it just keeps going. All right, all the ships are ready. Shit! Okay. There we go. 1X, 2X, 3X. Okay. Big money, no whammies.
    17:24
    Two million ball one, okay. Is there an extra ball in this game? Let's go. Subletter's got a ship shot to the corresponding color. Nice. I heard this game came with a free piece of leather to bite down on. It needs it. What's it say? Release torpedoes. Okay, so we got to shoot.
    17:47
    Yeah, so the subletters give you the ship, depending on the color that you hit. So this will give me yellow.
    17:57
    And, all right, we got everything lit. The lighting on this game is stellar. That locked the ramp. Not easy to hit.
    18:17
    Also, we just got screwed on the drops. Alright. Okay, noises are happening. Get in there! Okay, we collected a special.
    18:42
    I think we get 2x playfield too. This game is just nuts. Holy frick. What is that? 2X Playfield is a spinner?
    19:23
    Stern bought the Data East IP, right? Yeah. Well, Stern is Data East for all intents and purposes. Sega Pinball and Data East are Stern Pinball.
    19:34
    They should remake this. Oh, God. Okay, green target ready. Also, ramp. Here we go. Shards, that's hard.
    19:55
    The boat! Are you watching the boat? Alright, 2x playfield. Shit. Dude, the spinner noise is even like sick.
    20:16
    Like it builds up in sound. Thank God for the laser. Thank God for the laser kick. See that lean? Okay, I want this ramp.
    20:43
    F. I would also love the kickback. It almost sounds like it's trying to play the Jaws theme song on a foghorn. Da I will go Da da Da da A a A a This is nuts. Internet, I quite enjoy this game. I gotta clean my hands, though.
    21:13
    The lock bar is hurting my fingers. Alright. Let's get that loot. A-wooga, a-wooga. Okay, ball's not missing. There we go.
    21:38
    Come on, baby. Is it you? No. Then the switches would be in line right here. Nope. Welcome, Commander. Got it.
    22:05
    Are we playing DDR tonight? This is more like a game assignment. Alright, it does have a tilt in it, but apparently that wasn't enough. Okay, I just moved the game across the room.
    22:26
    And up the... Really? That ramp is rough. Where the frick is that shop? Don't laser kick. No! My laser!
    22:48
    I can't find it. Let's draw a line. It's right here. Swip! Nailed it. First try. I think his studio leans it does I mean that son of a bitch get in there dum dum that's all we needed alright we're good die die die aye aye is that ball gone That ball's gone. No. Okay.
    23:39
    Okay, now we got to hit yellow. We got them all. We got them all, baby. Jackpot's got to be lit, right? All right.
    23:55
    Blow main belt. Oh, I wanted 2x playfield. I got greedy. Where the fuck? How do you know if the jackpot's lit? Is it this animation?
    24:17
    Oh, I went for 2x. lasers on a submarine duh in what navy do you wear spandex and height they're future sailors okay well done commander that's right I am the commander Oh, the future Yeah, what do you know about the future, right?
    25:07
    This guy makes some weird ass noises, dog Okay, we got yellow and blue. So that's everything. Falling! Oh!
    25:24
    Awooga! I'm starting to think this game's only supposed to have two balls in it. We got 2x playfield? Okay.
    25:48
    Damn the torpedoes. Hell yeah, we got whatever that was. I would love the jackpot with 2x. Laser kick again. Shit! surface surface okay let's get this jackpot half bro well we got to its play field so that's actually huge all right now let's get We did it fast enough that it the ball in the shooter lane we only got one. So that's good. Even though there is a ball in the shooter lane currently we're fine.
    26:42
    That shot is like heck a late. Maybe you're supposed to hit it. I'm just fine. Green target ready Green, got it It's time for the park-a-later A little floaty or just me Listen, maybe a Maybe a skosh I ain't sweating too much
    27:20
    Green target Okay. 2X Shoki. Holy sharts. All right. A VPX has a nice version of it. Oh, nice. Really? We all live in a dangerous submarine.
    27:51
    Did you see that? I was about to brag, Internet. Bounce in. Dookie! Yellow target ready. Blue target ready. We're ready.
    28:25
    For maximum savage. Okay, we kicked the yellow... some yellow ass. We kicked some yellow ass. Let's get some blue butt.
    28:37
    Okay, yellow's lit again. No, it's not. I don't know what I'm talking about. Get the frick up. God, that shot is so hard and dangerous.
    28:51
    4 million? How did I get 7 million when I didn't understand the game? And now I know. This game's fun, dog.
    29:04
    Well, your name is Jack Danger. This game's fun. This game is fun. Shooting into wire forms is so weird. Yeah, I agree.
    29:17
    Yeah, this is a bad switch thing. That's not a... It did it again. So switch number two is probably screwed.
    29:36
    Yeah, shooting into wire forms, man. You dookie. I wasn't supposed to do that. We're getting... I plunged too early.
    30:03
    Live? Donk? Get on! Okay, we're going to hit this wire form. Die! Die! Die! Die! Okay, I would like 2x playfield.
    30:30
    Almost. Almost got it. It's on... Oh, it's left and right. Wait, what lights 2x playfield for a spell?
    30:40
    Something's lighting it for a minute. I think it's when you kill a ship. Okay, never stop making lights flash.
    31:09
    This is nutty. Shit. Got to use a little pace. I got well I got to keep the balls out of the shooter lane little research says that this machine has two or three ball multi-ball not sure if that is the issue or not I don't know I'm wondering if we have too many balls inside yeah shooting up a wire form bro it's like kind of it feels really strange
    31:44
    laser okay oh and it's because it's so late on the flipper it's like the ball has to be traveling like a bug flip like this ready nailed it first try
    32:14
    Bounce in. Ooh, dookie. Release the pitos. The torpedoes. Poop! Drive down. This game's kind of a workout.
    32:37
    Drive down. That was a terrible score. This game will give you a workout. I'm feeling it. That right ramp is just so heckin' hard to shoot.
    32:51
    And this wire form... Welcome aboard, kid. Something like this would never fly at a pinball company. The only use for this whole thing... is the plunge.
    33:08
    Pirate, thank you for 25 months in a row. You're amazing, ladies and gentlemen. Flippers your butts out.
    33:14
    I am the commander what's a skill shot no I don't think those were invented yet got it all right Fall.
    33:47
    Fall in? Oh, come on. All right, all of our ships are lit. Blue target ready. Blue's ready to die. You ready to die for this?
    34:06
    1.5, sir. The music is actually very suspenseful. Alright, so we have to shoot up top to release the different gears. Just watch me now. Move, Steve, ahead!
    34:28
    Okay, we gotta put it up top. Up top. That ain't up top. Okay, we're going to shoot it up and around.
    34:39
    You hear those jams? There goes Yella. All right, now the left orbit is lit for something big. Not good.
    35:02
    You shoot. Shoot. Reminds me of the wire form ramps in Big Guns. A little bit. I can see that. Also, the entrance to... Okay, still in ball two. We're good.
    35:36
    Got it. Okay, let's release the torpedoes. That left orbit is tough too, bro. I don't think there's Navy uniform regulation.
    35:53
    You don't know. This is the future Navy. You from the future, dog? Hey, it's me. It's from the future.
    36:16
    Whoa, we almost biffed. We almost biffed it is what we did. Torpedo 2-1 ready. Woo! Okay. Release the torpedoes, please. Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead.
    36:41
    Okay, blue, green, yellow, they're all lit. Oh, you couldn't have just fallen in there, you dink. Yeah, there's a shot right through there with the upper flipper. It's real tight.
    37:16
    You suck. Or is it I who sucks? This one beat a full speed ahead. Okay, we got our laser kick back. Release torpedoes. Okay, so I guess I could release them with the ramp too, maybe? No, I can't. Yeah, keep hitting that same target that doesn't do anything. Awesome. Awesome work, Jack. Awesome work.
    38:04
    Move target ready. Damn, that was fast. That captain has a five o'clock shadow. Yeah. That five o'clock shadow looks very painted on.
    38:26
    Bounce in. Die! Die! Die! Die! I am! No! Damn it! You dum-dum! Wait, did that say ramp closed?
    39:00
    Okay, all of our ships are liddy again. All right. Yep, I hear you. Thank you, Admiral. Thank you. Your five o'clock shadow looks repainted on. Thank you.
    39:33
    Blue. Got his ass. Did you see the shoot through there? Let's shoot 500. I'm trying to man all the pitos. Oh, you almost fell in. Get the torpedoes in.
    40:25
    Okay. That bot is leaving down fast. God damn it. Oh. My in-laws are here. I'm hiding in the basement drinking beer, watching pitbull. I win. Yo.
    40:40
    What's up, Paul? Sweetie, what are you doing downstairs? Nothing, Mom. Leave me alone. I'm masturbating.
    41:01
    Is it the... Maybe it's the very first switch. That's all flaked out. There we go. Well done, Commander.
    41:27
    UPS, what's up? What up, though? What is up, though? Hello. I bring you love. Okay, listen, calm down. Everyone calm down. They're fake Navy people. Everyone relax.
    41:41
    More ups, please. Okay, we're going to roll it. You ready? We're going to roll this shit. Oh my God It keeps making me think the game crashing when it does that
    42:27
    tricky tricky alright that's all the ships yeah all day keep stones up that's all I wanted we got our 2x ok let's release them torpedo Damn it.
    43:09
    We're just getting free points up here. Oh, you screwed me. Okay, we're doing something. I can't load any torpedo tubes.
    43:47
    Is that torpedo tube? Oh, we got the jackpot. Hell yeah. the light show of this game it celebrates a little too much and I love it this game is just straight up light show and it's fantastic One dollar.
    44:18
    One chip for 500. One chip for 100. And the four-feet-old. Four feet ahead. Okay, I probably shouldn't have shot at that. So let's go up and around. Up and around. I said up and around.
    44:45
    I said up and around. Okay, we got yellow. Hope no one's light sensitive in chat. Oh, everybody? Okay.
    45:16
    Get the frick up there. Oh, my gosh. All the loop. All the frickin' loop. Let's go. Jesus. I'm going to start seizing up I don't know if I can handle all these flashing lights kickback
    46:12
    okay epilepsy warning internet I apologize I did not know this game flashed as much as it did. I'm like, my hands hurt from ripping the freaking machine.
    46:40
    I'm trying to figure out what the hell lights an extra ball or something. Gripping and ripping. Alright, let's see if we can get a... Oh, shit.
    46:57
    Got it. Come on! Boo! I want this to drain. Okay, here we go. We fixed it The music is just so stellar on this pen, man
    47:33
    A million point one for the jackpot? Holy hell. Tell me we got another bomb. Hell yeah. I guess we were supposed to play this ball too.
    48:11
    We're going to have a seizure up in here. Holy shit. Sorry, Internet. I can't control the flashing. It's so much flashing.
    48:29
    And then it flashes to the music. Okay, so that left orbit shot is lit. For shit. Well done, Commander. All right, so we need 400,000 points to roll it, okay?
    49:14
    Let's see if we can do it. Oh, thank you, laser kick. No, no, no. Please. Ten thousand. I'm trash.
    50:01
    That ball spin, though. I'm trash. 10K Lamau. This ramp... is impossible. And I don't... That's wild.
    50:24
    Future subs, too, by the way. Future subs, too. I'm not going to lie. ladies and gentlemen i i know that i'm enjoying a pinball machine when i look at my phone and realize where the frick did the stream just go all right we're gonna keep going because i'm enjoying the crap out of this game but we just streamed for two hours and i don't even understand what the hell just happened but i'm like i'm like anxious an hour is set up true It's the flashing, it is programming you Have you played this before? This is the first time First time And this is Keith Allen's personal game He let us take it out of his office at Stern Just gonna rob a bank and have no memory of it True What a nice guy, that Keith Allen.
    51:40
    What a nice guy. Why can't I go in the... All right, we're going to find this ramp. Elwynn gives till it hurts. Wow.
    52:06
    Wow, dude. First time playing almost rolls the score. True. So this is obviously an example of the three ball.
    52:28
    One more time. Target ready. Lightship 30. One down. Lightship 25. Lightship 100. Woo! Well made balance.
    52:56
    So she says that when your multiball's over. Oh, hold bonus? I want that. With a half a mil jackpot, baby.
    53:22
    This game was in an office? I turned it up. The jackpot celebration of this game is so good. Thank you, Laser Kick.
    54:12
    Get the frick around. There's an extra ball on this game somewhere We're gonna collect it I see the light It might just be turned off Did you fix the trough issue? No We're just working with it
    54:47
    Okay, we got a lot of stuff lit. Oh, thank you. If only that was strong enough to make it all the way over.
    55:07
    I feel like maybe it's supposed to. The special's lit. Sick, bro. Yeah, this is Data East. 1988, ladies and gentlemen.
    55:40
    Stand with one feet up. Full speed ahead. I probably got a lot of money from that spin. I would love to load any torpedo tube.
    56:07
    Oh, torpedo tube two is up top. I get 1.1 million for that jackpot. You bet it says on the instruction card? I don't read instructions, bro.
    56:24
    I'm not a bug. Without that. Okay, that... We're going to get a full speed ahead. Green target ready. Okay, green's ready.
    56:47
    I want that. Get the fool. Oh, my God, we're dead. We're dead. Die! Die! Die! Die! laser kick yeah she says that when you screw up got it I'll be with you in a second, Internet. I can't breathe. My butthole is clenched, and it's sucking all the air out of the room.
    58:02
    All right. That was a power, power inlay. Oh, the creep. Bounce in. Oh, you suck. Almost. quarter mil for that one shot i i love this game internet i'm just gonna put that out there i i'm having a freaking blast with this bit Yellow target. Down the torpedo. Full speed ahead.
    59:07
    Almost saved that. And we got a whole bonus. Well done, Commander. Elwin will not get it back. Eight million ball won.
    59:30
    Yeah, that was the ball going. And we have hold bonus with a 1.5, I think. Don't want to talk to you, sir.
    59:57
    Die, die, die, die. Stand by to take her down fast. Okay, why am I shooting like an idiot? Flight ship sighted, sir. Range, 1,000 feet. Flight ship, 500 feet.
    60:41
    Flight ship, 100 feet. Power cell, up. We got the ball out before the double ball. Hell yeah. Range target ready. General target ready.
    60:59
    Welcome aboard, kid. I can't hear anything, so thank you for your support. We gotta have a jackpot ready soon, right?
    61:46
    Where the hell's my jackpot at? I'm just watching a bulls**t Oh, we rolled it. Naturally. Bron, thank you so much for five months in a row. You're amazing. Ladies and gentlemen, flippers and butts up, please.
    62:27
    Stand by to paper down fast. Laser plane. Oh, laser kick. Laser plane. Team it. Stand by to paper down fast.
    62:50
    Flank ship 500 feet. Flank ship 100 feet. Pass up. The male captain 100 sounds like Keith Elwood No joke Is this Mando
    63:09
    Well done, Commander. Okay. Here comes ball three. Oh, my God. Topside zero, baby. Can we go for the double roll?
    63:28
    Hell yeah. Shit. I mean, poop. Come around. Okay, yellow. We got everything lit. All day. I just killed two.
    63:48
    First one stone. Oh my god, the light show. The light show just doesn't stop. We're fine, we're fine, we're fine, we're fine. We're fine, we're fine.
    64:17
    Mid-air collision. Submarines, you know, for kids. Okay, let's hit green. Swift. Nice and clean, nice and clean, nice and clean.
    64:46
    Hell yeah. How much was that? Not enough. For jackpot? Is that what it said? Wait, which one is two? Is it the right ramp?
    65:06
    Shit. We're fine. Here it comes. God, that shot is nasty hard. Okay, momentum. Momentum. That was tube one.
    65:23
    Awesome stuck ball trick. You like that? Okay, we legitimately got that ball back, so we're good. I want this jackpot. Hot.
    65:57
    Internet, I'm just never going to find the shot. Let it bounce. Late. It's not that late. Late. Jesus Christ, where is that ram?
    66:19
    I... Just keep screwing myself. Yep, that was it. All right, let's see what our score was. Well done, Commander.
    66:30
    14-5? This seems like a game you want to nine out, right? There's no high score? You got to nine it out?
    66:41
    Do we call a double roll a rickroll? Oh, my God, this game is fun. internet if you can find a torpedo alley play it immediately as loud as you can your orders sink ships to advance bonus hold on release torpedoes for multi ball play ball play i got it use depth charges to win jackpot what the fuck are depth charges what where the depth chart oh is that the drop targets no what are the depth charges it's a pretty rare game that's what i'm hearing i mean even okay so listen even places where they just have rubber chilling for a ball to hit and bounce back into play, they have a 10-point switch behind it. Meaning, literally anything this game touches makes a sound or a flash or anything.
    67:57
    It just goes off. Welcome, Commander. The right drum-looking things? Oh, these are depth charges. All right, we have text play field. Well, I can't hit those.
    68:21
    We out here? Die, die, die, die! Oh, yeah! I can't shoot. I just don't get to shoot this ram. is how this game goes. The bomb for this would be insane these days.
    69:10
    Nah. No. Not actually. What do we got? Nine targets. a three bank, three flippers. Oh, there's ten targets.
    69:36
    A vuck, two, three vucks. I mean, it wouldn't be cheap. But it would be cheaper than... I think you're looking at a pro stern. I think you're looking at a stern pro.
    69:58
    this fucking game. Yeah, I think you're looking at a Stern Pro. Imagine this with LEDs. It has LEDs.
    70:09
    The plunge is stupid. That being said, this game is a heck of fun. But you gotta be, like, all in if you're gonna, like, score big on this. Because I'm like trying to play casual and the game's like, nah, dog. Change your stance. Focus up.
    70:33
    Don't be an idiot. The like very subtle interactive toy down here. Cute. That ramp is butt. I don't understand.
    70:56
    Is the designer of this game still alive? Man, take it down fast. Hey, what's up? What's up?
    71:40
    Our jackpot's got to be ready soon, right? We're target ready. We're ready. The backhand! Jackpot! That was stupid. Okay, okay, okay.
    72:20
    Yeah. Play it again. Played a pinball machine with your Twitch name on it last night and had to stop by again with my Twitch name on it? Really?
    72:38
    Was it Total Nuclear Annihilation? Dude, this game is just high-octane gameplay 100% of the time. This game makes you sweat. You're literally fighting this game the entire time you're playing.
    72:59
    Holy balls. Welcome, Commander. Oh, like my forearms hurt. It's a workout? Yeah. Oh, man, my forearms are fricked.
    73:17
    Okay, we screwed up the plunge. We're obviously getting back. Obviously. Okay, we're good now. Poop.
    73:37
    Get in there. High heels on a submarine? Submarine? Abandon ship! Well, now we know what the... Welcome, Commander. Now we know what the tilt does.
    74:09
    This game is like the internet, a bunch of tubes. Hey, more tubes in pinball, please. God, that ramp is not accessible.
    74:29
    Dookie! A submarine is like a 5.1 laptop. Wait, what? The designer of this game made a Spinal Tap homebrew two years ago? Really?
    74:38
    PDFVT, thank you for the $500. Thank you for the 500 bits, my dude. I appreciate it. I can't death save on this. This is Keith Elwin's personal game, and it's a rare game, so I'm not going to be out here trying to beat the snot out of this machine, you know?
    75:02
    Where the fuck is this ramp? Sorry for squinting. I absolutely can't find the ramp. Okay, 2x Just kidding No, the pew, what the what?
    75:39
    Kick it I'm choking. You're welcome. I am the commander. Alright, all the ships are lit. Just kidding.
    75:53
    Okay, we got the green. Laser kick. Okay. It is playing like the Jaws theme song because these are it's only when you go through the end lane and these are sharks That's cute Where the fuck is this? It's actually playing the Jaws. That's awesome. Target ready.
    76:37
    Get the... Oh my god, game. You're killing me, Smalls. Okay, here we go. One try. Nailed it. Here it is again.
    76:57
    Got it. First try. Okay. All the boats are going ba-nay-nay. Put it up top. Let's go. Submarines. Everything is frickin' submarines these days Shoot us up Then all the lights go out And everything makes you epileptic Oh yeah, we hit that.
    77:49
    Okay. Okay, hit the green. Green, hit the green. No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Booty! Damn, dude. We're just going to tell people we rolled it.
    78:10
    Oh, my God. Thank you. Join the Navy. See the world, Internet. Okay, that was trash. The designer of this game is not going to tell me he was able to straight up hit this frickin' right ramp whenever they wanted to.
    78:43
    This shit is tough. Bounce the drain. I was hoping for a bounce bounce. Man, we are sinking them. Okay, yellow wasn't the... Yellow wasn't the... That's why I figured out that.
    79:06
    Go ahead, go ahead. Dink! Why is... There's like a whale and an octopus on the back glass. First try.
    79:23
    Oh, come on. Target ready. Alright, keep it clean. Zero death save attempts. Shoot this fucking ramp, thank you.
    79:45
    Sorry, internet. Pardon my language. I shot that in time. I'm getting ready. Get the fool. Okay, I got that. Can do movie night with McKeel Snape.
    80:19
    Okay. Just let me hit... God damn, that ramp shot is nuts! That ramp shot is nuts! Well done, Commander.
    80:40
    Well, YouTube, we rolled the game tonight, and it was a blast. And cut. Internet, thank you for hanging out tonight. I got to get out of here. I could, I'm not kidding. I could probably play this game all night, but my wife would murder me. It's already nine 30.
    80:59
    Okay. Um, what is it? What is it about this game? I think it's that you're just like on edge the entire fricking time you're playing this game. I don't know. I, when you look, when I first saw this, I'm like, this looks average at best. the sounds and the light show and the, like, I don't even still fully understand what the shit I'm shooting for.
    81:28
    Um, Oh my God. It's good. Great game. We're, we're for sure putting this into heavy rotation internet. Absolutely. Uh, I want to get the direct audio right into your ear balls. Okay. Is this available on VPX? Um, I was told by someone earlier in chat that there's a very good rendition of this on VPX. So go download it. Go jam on it.
    81:59
    Have a great weekend, folks. Go have some fun. Go do some things. Play some games. Come back. Share your scores in Discord.
    82:10
    And let's make some magic happen. Manu, love you, buddy. That's butts on the back glass. Yeah, there's butts.
    82:20
    But here's what really matters. Are you ready? Look at that dude's five o'clock shadow. Wait, hold on.
    82:40
    Wait, hold on. he almost looks like uh who plays wolverine with his nuts you know i'm saying look at him huge ac man got it he looks like huge ac man everyone's surprised all right friends have a good night you're beautiful i love you and i will see you they all look surprised to be doing their jobs oh this young lady's just like she's she's extremely surprised she like it's like someone just farted into her ear comm piece um and i'm pretty sure this is an an old editing station um anyway all right friends this has been torpedo alley i love you Have a wonderful night, and I'll see you tomorrow. I mean Monday. I mean frick. We'll figure it out. I don't want to wait for my Monday.