You signed your real name? Of course I did. If you believe in something, you sign your name to it. Alright, I'm gonna tell you right now. I ain't crazy. This is the ground you'll die on. Are you sure? Oh my god, are you serious? Son, people can see you. I don't tell you what to do with your money. Don't fucking tell me what to do with mine, okay? I'm not as dumb as you think I am. I will defend myself. He means it, sweetheart. Well, that's because you're an idiot. I will fight and win because I am the most intelligent. You sure about that? You sure about that? I got something I want to say. Well, all you motherfuckers think you know who Kenny Powers is. Well, I'm here today to tell you all you don't know shit. Oh, I give up. You're going to get yourself killed, and this time I won't be able to save you. I make you laugh. I'm a clown. I amuse you. I'm here to fucking amuse you. Come on. Don't bullshit me. Go ahead and go, but I'm not going to stop yelling because then that'll mean I lost the fight. So please leave a key under the mat. I love you all very much. Peace out. Serenity now! Serenity now! What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. Okay, a simple wrong would have done just fine, but... This makes no sense. Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of the Wedgehead Pinball Podcast, doing another edition of our Die on the Hill series, where we invite a guest onto the show to defend a poorly rated game from all the online haters. But as always, I'm your host, Alan, one of the owners of Wedgehead, for which the podcast is named, a pinball bar in Portland, Oregon, joined in my basement studio, Alex's basement studio, The Waterboy. I don't own this basement studio. I just feel like it's mine. We're my co-host, Alex, The Waterboy's basement studio. How are you doing? I'm doing great. I'm doing particularly great today, because I'm drinking a Molson's Old Style Pilsner, which our Canadian listeners will know is some good shit. It's a good time to say that we are not sponsored by anybody on this show. No free ads, Waterboy. I would take a Molson sponsorship. No free pub, dude. Nor coconut. If we could do coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo on the pod, sick. Come on, Molson. Is it my turn to plug the coffee fundraiser? It's always your turn to plug the coffee fundraiser. Well, for anybody unaware, we're raising money so we can go visit our friends in Colorado, check out the pinball scene there get inspired to make some more content for you guys the listeners it's a good time checking out other places to play pinball i recommend you all do it and i recommend you give us money so we can do it too more you get to go to coffee.com slash wedgehead podcast throw us a few bucks and that will get you in in top of just making you a good person you know a proud fan of the podcast you can walk down the street with your head held high it will also get you an invite to our private discord where you can come chop it up with me and alan and our special guest today ty palmer i'm in the chat he's in the chat i'm in the chat you guys are the best you guys give me words of encouragement you laugh at my silly jokes i appreciate all of you thank you so much there's a good energy in the gym that may change after today's episode yeah we'll see if ty has any fans left bring the heat i welcome the fucking judgment he gets oh yeah Now, Ty is here. He is here to discuss Future Spot, made by Bally, designed by George Christian, who we just did an episode on, the great George Christian. This is a super wide body. I earned this body, and I built this temple. But currently, it is ranked number 257 on the Pinside All-Time list. All caps, fuck that. Okay, count. One, two, three, all the way to 256. Are you fucking kidding me? Like how many games with stupid ass fucking modes, shitty ramps, easy returns, and I don't know, like an hour long ball save are ahead of this game? How many? Way too many, Ty. Yeah. 256 are ahead of them. Bunch of dog shit up there. Before we get into the bad reviews, do we want Ty to kind of pitch this game a little bit? Yeah. Tell us about why Future Spa is great. Future Spa rule. Why is it better than 257? Okay, so normal pinball, you know, slender body, all pretty standard. This is thick. Thick. Why drive a fucking golf cart when you can have a Cadillac? White as hell. It's luxury. Yeah, it's a luxury. And also, you know what's painted on it? Lots of ladies. All right, ladies, buckle up. Lots of fucking ladies. You're in a day spa. Also men. Lots of naked men and lots of naked women. Only one. Two. Let's see. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Well, that's the play field. What about the back glass? Back glass, I think there is... There's too many dudes. There's three dudes, three women. It's good representation on the back. Equal ratio, yeah. Yeah, a guy ripping curls with a bar of laser that's not cutting his hands. You got Brian in the hot tub. Brian in the hot tub, you can't see Brian's hands. Right now it feels a little bit like shame. You don't know what Brian's getting up to. And then you got Larry the Chaser. Larry the Chaser is chasing what looks like... Larry the Chaser? Larry the Chaser chasing Bo Derek, you know, from Perfect Ten. This might just be me, but does Larry kind of look like Ryan Gosling to you guys? Gosling's dad, for sure. Yeah, right? It's like a bizarre... Brian Gosling. He's like Ryan adjacent. Like he's literally me. Yeah, and then in the background, you have the Legion of Doom from League of Super Best Friends. It's the future, and it's also self-care. Crazy how they actually made a Rick and Morty episode where they go to like a future spa thing. Yeah, based off this game. everybody knows that anyone that hasn't seen this game it is basically horny future gym spa globo gym is a beacon of human physical perfection the back glass is like gym spa the fucking play field is more just like slip and slide teases you of a future you're a rob like she's doing some kind of like weight yeah it's aerobics you know exercising nearly nude as one does you know one does yeah in the 80s future there's two slip and slides two girls are coming down and then yeah it's aerobics posing off all the hard work's paid off here at globo gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders much like baldness or necrophilia truly one of the most insane art packages of this bally era i mean this bally era i've always said is the nipple era because of the visible nipples. Damn. Consistent through all this artwork. This is actually two different artists. This is Paul Faris and Dave Christensen. Dave Christensen did the play field. Paul Faris did the back glass. I always figured the game was so wide they needed two people to draw on it. That actually tracks. They're like one man simply cannot draw this much art. I'm left-handed, you're right-handed. We'll just work toward the middle. And both of these artists definitely went full bore and they were part of this era and why the games are so horny because of these two guys, and they're working on the game together, and this has got it. I can't imagine there's a hornier game than this. No, not even. It's like, it's insane. The next step is they're just fully naked. Yeah. Which some of the European games, full nudity in the European games. Different rules, different rules. As far as a widespread American-made game, this is probably it. They sold well. I mean, they sold 6,400 of them. Sex sells, baby. Pretty good, dude. Yeah. And it's a pretty good game, despite what the fucking reviews might have you convinced of. It's a great game. So how do you play Future Spy? So on the left-hand side of the play field down below, there's three outlanes. Avoid all those. It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him. And that's it, period. No, the right side's fucking gnarly too. You have those two pop bumpers, and there a little slot that the ball can trickle down the glory hole the spa hole you want to surpass that There ways to nudge around that But what I like to do specifically right off the bat capture the ball with left flipper and backhand those drops. The inline drops. Inline drops. Yeah. So you get your bonus both player up and then you get extra ball. And then I just start trying to rip spinner or getting the ball up there to spell future. Not in order, however it comes. And then there are targets that will spot all those letters and then also spell spa. Once you spell the combination of letters, you'll get 18,000 points spotted to you towards your bonus. You do that again, you'll get 36. Okay. And that value usually retains ball to ball. And you just want to keep tacking onto those bonus multipliers and try to roll this bad boy. That's the way to do it. That's the way you fucking do it. It's fairly simple for a George Christian game. Playfield kind of makes up for the simplicity of the rules here. So much to look at. And there's a lot of danger. And it's interesting because it's like they gave him a wide body. and in our last episode we talked a lot about his design hallmarks and stuff that you kind of see across his games and this has a lot of those in it but it also has like that spa the glory hole, the spa hole is what I would say most people call that but the spa hole and the lower pops you don't see lower pops in another George Christian game and they're fucking, it's insane it's way different than his other games, like this is the biggest departure from all his other games they might have looked at Paragon and been like okay those drops are there that causes a lot of danger, if those weren't there this game would be a long player. So let's just chuck these in here so kids just spend millions of quarters. And like, I need everybody to remember the first time they lost a hundred dollars really, really in a dumb fashion. Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought I was once. I easily lost a hundred dollars in quarters the first week I played this when Chris Rhodes had it at Blackbird. I just kept jamming. And like, I know that's nothing in our lifespan as pinball players, you know, it's a drop in the bucket. But first time you realize you're like, I just went through 10 rules quarters and goddamn future spa in like under a week i'm like i got pills to pay yeah that i mean i know i'm not on cricket wireless but i mean i gotta pay fucking cell phone bill that all went out pocket the future spa future spa it's so good you're only 40 years later still just stealing ty's lunch money and roads will still to this day go that game earns really well on location i was like no ty single-handedly played that game and your bills over and over and over and over again so the coin box was heavy. I wanted to learn her secrets. I wanted to unlock these gems. I wanted fitness from the future that I was promised. Yeah, you wanted to get ripped, dude. Get fucking shredded with Lonnie Anderson, all five of them. It also has a kickback on the left lane too, which is interesting. And the mech's kind of interesting. It's different than the normal piston kickback. It is kind of lever-based. Yeah. Also will give you points if it goes through there. So it's on the far left-hand side of those lanes. I think it's a slingshot mech that just isn't behind a sling. See, this is the innovation this game is bringing you. It's even got the swinging gates that will close off. So yeah, there's four lanes on the left, which looks insane when you see this fucking thing, but it's also seven feet wide. So you've got lots of space to do shit like that. Some people's madness is my art. Yeah, by default, two of those four gates or four lanes will drain, but you can open it up. So only one of the four, which somehow you're like, okay, so a quarter of the time it's going to be danger, three quarters of the time it's safe. You're like, no, somehow it's like 100% of the time it's still danger. Like, it just like, I don't know how. It feels dangerous. Just any time the ball is going over there, you're like, fuck, fuck, fuck. It's because, like George Christian, there's no rubber post on the ends of any of those to bounce them off of. No. No training wheels. No easy returns. You know, no shin guards. It's a unique layout. It's jam-packed with cool shit. George Christian, widely loved designer from this era. Insane art package. You know, good rules, build bonus, multiplier. Nothing anybody could hate, right? No. No one has any reason to say anything bad about this machine. Unfortunately, you're in the hot seat here, Ty, because people have bad things to say about this game. It doesn't feel warm to me. I'm not sweaty like these dorks. We will start with something good, though, it looks like. I'm going to go put on the thong song and we'll tear this place apart. A rare thing on a Die in this Hell episode. Ehex9 says, this game is one of the few ballet titles that was good from this time period. Few? Fun to play for some reason. For some reason. Get a load of this guy. I included that because it's technically a good review for Future Spa, but I knew it would trigger Ty and get him angry enough for the rest of this episode. That's only, he only wrote a sentence. One of the few good ballets. No, two. Okay, he terminated this thought with two periods. It's fun to play for some reason. Yeah, it is. One of the few ballet titles that was good from this time period. Yeah. Well, yeah. Which is just a crazy thing to be like. Take another rip of crack. Like, who's like, ah, yeah, ballet's kind of a piece of shit. You're like, wait, what? You're like. I mean, it's no Jersey Jack. Smoke more crack. The fuck? The man, the myth, the legend, Caucasian two-step. Does he have a track history, a track record in poor history on this podcast? He leaves a lot of reviews. He's written almost 1,200 reviews on Pinside for 1,200 different pinball machines. They're all long. They're all very long. Cool life. He backs his shit up, which I, you know, like he likes. You can tell he's actually played every game that he's like reviewing. Yeah, it's interesting. He's an interesting person. He says, the pros, a different layout with two of my favorite artists, Mr. Christensen and Mr. Ferris doing the honors. Different artistic styles, but I never really noticed the discrepancy until it was pointed out to me. I always thought it was just another Ferris package. When I had an idea of what to do, this game was alright. Plays much better than I remembered. Upper rollovers to open the gate are your skill shot, and once the spinners are lit, you have to go for them. Well, I'll simply have to woo Kate a bit sooner than nature intended. The sparkle vision back glass is a nice touch. I don't remember seeing it in any other games. Inline drops are always a plus. The cons. This game must be fresh, waxy, and steep, or it will feel deader than Osama bin Laden's bodyguards. Pop bumpers on the lower right must be active. Standard issue death shot stand-up target is in full effect. Do not shoot for it ever. The rollover and saucer on the upper right only score a few points. These are really cool shots, especially the U-turn rollover shot. But because their value is so low in the big picture of this game, makes the whole middle of the playfield rather worthless. The takeaway, boy, this game feels wider than it is longer. I mean, it's got a badonkadonk. Your shots are the inline drops and the spinners once you get this game up and running. To make these shots, you were shooting all the way across the playfield, and if you miss, the ball starts bouncing back and forth towards the sides. Now, every shot you make can be a real risk. This game is all about the inline drops to multiply that bonus. Once you build your bonus, it carries over. in this sense it has a semi-paragon strategy to it. Ball one is crucial to score the 18 or 36K bonus and keep it for every ball. The outer left lane is incredibly important to building bonus and makes any ball in that area of the playfield a risk-reward consideration. Very different and the only game I can think of with a lane like this one. An interesting game that plays better than expected if it's properly maintained. Yeah, I actually agree with a lot of his takes. I was going to say, this is like... This is not bad. We liked a lot of the shit he has to say. steep clean and mean yep that's fucking smart that's actually constructive criticism and i do like that a lot however you can backhand those drops so it's not always that shot you can work the so if you have the ball trap on the left hand side you make a slight movement and let that ball creep up the lane a little bit let it trickle down let it bounce and then whap it right at the right moment at the apex where it bounces and you'll start working those drops down and it is a catch you can hit it with both you want but it's a little safer when you figure out how to backhand it and it opens it up a little bit more as far as like having the middle of the playfield dead sure there's pop bumpers there but there's ways to weasel into those future lanes and sneaking through so you just kind of have the pops using the pops or even like taking from your right hand shot and shooting to the left of the pops you can get up through there and manipulate it that way so it's not entirely dead there some sneaky shots but you have to come through those through moments of discovery by playing this game and it sounds like he does So I actually I feel like that was actually a completely valid review Yeah no I gotta say, I'm like, that was like, I'm like, yeah, because these Bally wide bodies play like shit if they're too flat. Yeah. They feel, this is why, this is the generation that makes people convinced wide bodies are all floaty because if you play like a flat one of these, you're just sitting there watching the ball go back and forth. It's side to side. And especially with these pop bumpers and the configuration of the slings, it's going to work its way side to side if it's super flat, and that sucks. Steeper the better. I also think the candy cane shot here, which is just kind of like a tweaked version of the eight ball shot. Eight ball shot, yeah. With a saucer instead of a drop or whatever at the hook of the cane. That's a really rad shot, and it does suck that it's not worth very, it's not really a consequential one. No, I wish that paid off more or at least that saucer was a bonus collect. That could have been cool. Occasion two steps kind of nailed this one. Yeah, I'm not in disagreement. because it is also funny the way he's like, yeah, I didn't notice it was two different artists. I'm like, I didn't notice either. And then once you do, you're like, oh yeah, they are totally, it's a different approach. But that's also a good collaboration. It's a good critique from him. I'm just, you started us with two positive reviews. Yeah, not too bad. Next one is from Fodderfold and he says, played it a few times at a recent tournament. Afterwards, chose to wait for F14, a game I'm not in love with, rather than try this one again. Theme, playability, art, just not my thing. Sounds like he lost early to in both games, in both games were it. Both games do rip. Both games really just sounds like you weren't easy out. How would you like to take a break from that fine lead-based paint? Yeah. Trying to insult this by saying you'd like went to play an F-14, then you also don't like that. You're like, what? Wait, so you're stupid. You went from George Christian to a banger Steve Ritchie. Banger Steve Ritchie game. You're like, okay. And I know these aren't their most popular titles, but like those are, these are ripper games. These are ripper games. These are also two of the greatest pinball designers of all time. Yeah, you just got swept in the first round. He's just mad. Yeah, congratulations. Go back to the regular season. I bet he's a Toronto Leafs fan. Yeah. This is major Toronto Leafs energy. Yeah, he just perpetually sweeps in the first round. Toronto has two seasons where the Leafs get swept. Spring and... Fun. All right, Seal Clubber says, I bought this non-working. The PCB was hacked, but the rest of the game was in pretty good shape. Backglass and playfield art are great, but they were done by two different artists who apparently didn't coordinate. Cabinet art is crappy and has nothing to do with the rest of the game. Why not a chick in the bikini? Bally's first game with continuous background noise. It's very annoying. Luckily, you can turn it off. Slow wide body design, bunch of shots to make, but there still could have been better use of space. Would have been nice if you could flip or select the top lanes. rather difficult to get a high score which is the only reason i play it it's not much fun to me and i can't wait to sell it hang on a second there's what why else do you play a game if not yeah not to get the high score what i mean you're gonna i'm only playing it for the score i don't you know well ty type in the modern era i know you haven't been tuned in since i think what 1991 was the last time you played a new pinball machine truth they all have these modes now and they have these wizard modes, like these storytelling modes on modes on modes that you get to wizard modes. And you can even log into games now and track your personal achievements outside of high scores. That's great. I remember when I was young and you could bring your D&D to school in your little backpack and go learn lessons from other people that knew better. That's all well and good. But again, if it's slow, make it steep. Yeah, make it fast. Wax it up and clean it. And like this one, it's like it's his game, dude. That's up to you. And also, too, we also just mentioned how they kind of the two artists worked in collaboration pretty damn well. Yeah, I think I think they're both properly horny. Yeah. I would also say you're like if your complaint is that the game needs more women in bikinis on it. I'm like, OK, this has the most. There's enough. There's plenty. The cabinet already sick. It's like the stencil of a cool planet like Saturn or whatever, like a ringed planet. Looks very cool. futuresque when i think of the future spas i think of space it's implied that the spa is takes place in outer space everybody fucking knows that yeah and then it's this game's from 1980 like it's a mechanism of time this stencil artwork on the side of the machine they're doing their fucking best it's just two color whatever who gives a shit it's about playing the game and being immersed in this fucking magical world hopefully he sold it and got it to somebody that appreciates him more On to the next. G Donovan says, played it once. Turgid comes to mind. Are you reading the dictionary? The back glass animation is one of the coolest ever done on a pen. But aside from that, it bored me to tears. It lumbers. The back glass, it lumbers. Dude, what a review. The back glass animation, that's something we haven't talked on. It has its own little PCB control board just for the little Future Spa letters to be sequenced. And it's so cool. It's so unnecessary, but it's so cool. I never viewed that as an animation. And when he says back animation, I'm like, the people aren't running. It's a still fucking photo. It's just a light show. Yeah, I know. The light show behind the typography. Yeah, I get that. And it's recessed, so it looks like kind of an infinity mirror type of thing. Yeah, the mirror effect for, yeah. But I wouldn't say it's animated. I'd just call it an advanced light show. Bored me to tears. Sound like he played it twice. It lumbers. It lumbers. It lumbers. I like how he says, Turgeon comes to mind. Turgeon comes to mind, yeah. So he probably lumbered to the bathroom to take care of it. No old number three. Turgeon. And then played something else that didn't get him nearly excited. Okay, Mario Argento says, an operator's delight. If you like not to play. Listen up, Crotch Dave. This is your game. Everything's made to lose. There will be many balls that you will not even touch with the flippers. Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Shame on Bally for this. Welcome to solid states, bud. Yeah, like you're going to have fast games. That's all there is to it. Learn how to plunge better. Yeah, it doesn't have a ball save. So yeah, you're just going to have to keep playing until you get better. Just don't go crying to mama when I spank you in front of all these people. More people need to respect the plunge. This has been my thing. More plunge is more pinball. I've been saying that for years. Everybody knows more plunge is more pinball. dude born to born to plunge forced to flip born to plunge dude but that's one thing is it's like it wasn't just a gimme until very recently it wasn't just a gimme that you're gonna play a ball just because you plunged it like the fucking burden wasn't on the game to deliver the ball safely to your flipper now it is now it's expected we get ball saves you get multiple ball saves on some games if they accidentally made it a little too hard for these babies oh my god the babies will cry incessantly about the x-men plunge i don't know how they can play in diapers cotton i never could yeah and it's like yeah oh dude ty don't get on the internet but yeah yeah keep living in 1981 it's better i'm still struggling with the fax machine i don't like the feedback you know you're like like learn how to plunge better that used to be all pinball was you have to respect the plunge hence the name or term skill shot exactly dude that's the whole thing just grip it and rip it it's very frustrating to me when people are like why is the full plunge like it goes right off of this and then it bounces and sometimes it goes in the out lane and you're like then quit doing that yeah hey stupid stop here's a quick lesson in tensile strength you know how springs work it hurts my hand when i put it on the stove you're like quit touching the snow see how there's always a cutout on the spring on the shooter plunge and it has little lines so you can even measure how far you pull back and adjust your plunge over time to play with skill i'd recommend an 82 plunge on a future spot assuming default spring rates but anyway that's always my gripe when people are like the plunge is too dangerous it's like well that's on you but remember dodgeball is a sport of violence exclusion and degradation okay next review though to get back into my review side of things Bally King the king himself Looks Mr Jokey Joke maker Oh Bally King says an abysmal wide game from Bally Disliked it in my youth played a decent example in my early 50s, still disliked it intensely. Cramming up your cram hole to the floor. Horrid artwork, bad colors, and a fragmented and confused play field leave me really cold on this game. Who crowned you fucking king, bud? Where did you get this fucking tinfoil hat you call a crown for these dumbass takes? Right in the testicles. Ouch, town population, you, bro. You're 50, which means you got to play these games in your youth, and you sucked at them then, and then you played them again in your 50s, and you suck at them now. That's on you, dude. Patches, are you sure that this is completely necessary? Uh, necessary. Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? Probably not. No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste. That's on you. Come at me, belly king. I don't give a shit. I think it's got nice colors. It does. They're soothing, you know, to spoil the future. It says horrid artwork. I would say by today's standards, poor taste artwork. Yeah, that's fine. But not bad artwork. Yeah. We're looking at rendering techniques or the ability to draw the human form. These guys do a good job, you know, as far as like the graphic nature of the lines that represent the water. It's done really nice and actually operates within the flow of your shots in the game. And it just has an allure to it. You know, is it the greatest piece of art on a pinball machine? No. Yeah, it's not frontier. No. And you're also not a king. The fucking jester. There's no resistance when White Goodman puts on his shiny shoes. All right. Final review. You're going to love this one, Ty. Hell yeah. R81FK says, Okay, so who wants to own one of the most off-tempo games ever? I do. Imagine this. You have your pinball collection all lit up. Some colleagues come over after work on a Friday to play some pinball. Colleagues who doesn't have friends? Big friggin' surprise. And you fire this thing up. All you need to say now is, Anyone want a Harvey Wallbanger to drink? Seriously? What the heck is this thing? Everyone is in tip-top shape except for the dude on the back glass who they forgot to give a neck. Why is his head like all the way in his collarbone? Nothing like chasing a scantily clad lady around the gym, am I right? In 2019, this would make the news. In the 1970s, nah, just make it a pinball machine. Throw in some muscle dudes and chicks making weird non-workout poses and you have a pinball. This thing plays like a bowl of soup. ever sit on the floor of a 1970 tornado it's like that you roll around because there's a ton of space but you can't go anywhere i always feel like the ball wants to jump into the game next to it just to get out of the future hell son you're about as useful as a cock flavored lolly pop drop targets can be a challenge but it has to be waxed to perfection no pun intended this thing is not a game I would want in my collection. I've tried it more times than I care to admit, but this thing is a bloated cow of 70's sappy bodybuilding. Usually you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton. Who green-lighted this? Hit the guy with a tack hammer. Topper for this game should be a big bottle of Brute, a bag of chest hair, and a low-grade beaver tranquilizer, and a bottle of East German steroids. Creepy. This guy's in love with his own writing. You can just tell. he wrote this for himself and he loves reading it again and again and again it's this well-baked take that just actually has no legs at a loss really you know i think he just wants to talk he needs somebody to talk to i'm not going to defend the game anymore i think this guy just needs a hug because he's like oh bring your colleagues over you have friends dude maybe you don't you're like hey uh remember when we went to college together we are colleagues right or people I work with, you're going to invite people over for some force fun to your house and make your favorite drink and force it upon them. And they love you. Do they love you? Yeah, I do. Well, you spend a lot of time sitting on the floor of a 1907 Toronado, Ty. Does this feel similar to the ball in this game? Anybody who's spent a lot of time on the floor of a 1970s Toronado has a bunch of kids they don't know about. I love the assumption that you're like, we've all said. We've all that. Waller v. Wallbangers on the bottom of a car that's no longer around. Yeah, I don't. Like, why a Toronado? Where did that poll come from? It's such a specific thing to come, you know, here. It has to be waxed to perfection. No pun intended. Clean your fucking machines. Yeah, clean them. I mean, these games do need to be waxed. They do need to be steep. Yeah. A lot of these old solid states and old EMs, not only do they need to be as steep as possible, you need to put a fucking 2x4 under the back. legs. You need a little bit of extra help. A little extra help sometimes. Rebuild the flippers. Make it snappy. High tap your ENs. Make it fast, dude. Get the flippers as strong as they can and then make the game as steep as it can where you can still get the ball to the top. Yeah, and as slick as possible. And all these games are fun. They don't have to be floaty. Fix it. Yeah, fix it. Clean, steep, and mean. three words to live by in this era any era really any era come to Wedgehead these are how the games are supposed to be played at Globo Gym we're better than you and we know it this is a PSA come to our dojo and learn our karate and I will change your fucking mind Sensei Tai is there twice a week and you can come and learn from the master it's true I'm here for you people yeah well you know does that wrap up our future spot is there anything else you'd like to end on Ty just go out and just I'm gonna just come to Wedgehead play the games play the games we're gonna have this future spa on the floor at Wedgehead you're gonna get to play it there you're gonna get to make up your own mind you'll probably meet Ty playing it himself and you could fight for a high score against Ty Darren's put in countless hours and exploded many a yopsical getting this thing uh in tip-top shape for us yeah shout out Darren my first pin turn he graduated from the Wedgehead Apprentice Program. Congrats, Darren. Now he's out there doing play field swaps on some of these old games so we could bring him inside Wedgehead and for y'all to enjoy. He went and spruced this game up for everyone in the Portland area to come down and play the fastest, most ripping version of this game that you will ever find on location. And you can play it here at Wedgehead. Unbelievable! Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China. I have seen the pyramids of Egypt. I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible as what we've witnessed here today. The little team that could average Joe's gymnasium underdogs throughout stand before us and glow as true dodgeball champions. For everyone else outside of the Portland area, use the pinball map. Try to find this game and go play it. And until next time, good luck. Don't stop. could never cause pain. Years go by, I'm looking through a girl's magazine. There's my home angel on the pages in between. My blood runs cold. My memory has just been sold. My angel is the centerfold. Angel is the centerfold. My blood runs cold. My memory has just been sold. Angel is the centerfold.