I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love, love's going to leave. Ah, welcome to Kaneda's Pinball Podcast. You know, I got so much positive feedback on my like top toys and pinball episode that I wanted to do another episode in which I celebrate things I love in pinball. And this episode is all going to be about my top five sexiest pinball playfields over the last All these are the machines that I think when you stand over them you will say wow like this is just a beautiful a gorgeous a sexy pinball machine and then the five machines when you stand over them you're like oh they could have done much better than this okay look I'm gonna give Haggis a break I've been in the thread I just want to say this real quick I thought it was very I'm just here to tell you this is the difference between Canadian SpinballPodcast and other shows that selectively bury information and don't go after companies when they should. We're going to have more episodes about Haggis and best believe it, I went back and I listened to Jeff Teolis' interview of Damien like from a year ago and get ready till I grab those sound bites and you hear all the promises that were made and all the incredible shilling that was going on. But this is not that episode. This is all about sexy pinball art. Now here's the thing. This was really fun to go back and look at games from over the last five years and just Put them all side by side and look at them from a little bit of a bird's eye view and say, hey, which one of these games is beautiful? Which one is sexy? Which one uses colors in an interesting way? Which one has laid out the theme in an interesting way? Which ones are cohesive and which ones seem a little discombobulated, right? And that's what I love about artwork. It's so subjective. Now, before I tell you my top five favorite and my top five ugliest pinball playfield of the last five years, I want to say this in general. Pinball machines are beautiful right now. These machines over the last five years are the best looking pinball machines in pinball history. And I mean that. These machines and this artwork is better than anything we got in the 90s, in the 80s, in the 2000 era when Stern was just Photoshopped, These games are beautiful. They are colorful. They pop. They jump off of the playfield. These companies have realized it's a lot cheaper to get a good artist than to make mechanical toys. And that's another reason why modern pinball looks so damn good because these companies know that they can make money with just artwork. They don't need to make the games mechanically as complex as they used to, right? A BallyWilliams game has much more magic mechanically in their games, but these games have much better artwork and they really are stunning. And it's one of the reasons why Stern Pinball is so successful because I must say, When you put most of these Stern machines side by side by side, for the most part, they look so good. They're so colorful. There's a reason why Stern loves this sort of super bright, super vibrant sort of color palette because it just makes you smile. I mean, these are toys. Like sometimes we forget that, that these are toys. They should pull you in. They should attract you. They should have some sort of magnetic quality so when you see it from across the room, all lit up and you see This week's topic is Pinball. Pinball is a game that you can play with your hands, but you can't play with your hands. Pinball is a game that you can play with your hands, but you can't play with your hands. When you see the artwork, it makes you want to play. Like, that's what a pinball machine is supposed to communicate. Now, some just do it better than others. And this was hard to get it down to just like five of my favorite because there are more than five great art packages in pinball, okay? Now, when it came to the worst five, that's where I had to be like, oh, does this deserve to be in the bottom five or should this be out of the bottom five? This is the criteria by which I judge these games. How well is the art laid out? Right? How well is it laid out? Does it make sense where the characters are on the playfield? Is the art cohesive with the shots in the game? Does the art line up with the inserts of the game? That's important. Like, there's some machines that have a lot of detail, a lot going on. And if you ask me, sometimes it's just all over the place. I like art packages that also connect with the layout of the game. I also looked at each of these and just said aesthetically, is this pleasing to look at? Is it too busy? And I know this is the hardest part is just covering a machine with detail with every little inch of the playfield does not make it better. And sometimes what makes art beautiful is also the empty spaces and how they are utilized because you want something to focus on. Sometimes you can have too much going on and it's hard to know where to focus. This week's topic is, what is the most difficult thing to look at in a game? Is it fun? Is it fun to look down at this game? And does this art package make you smile? Does it relate to the theme? Does it just feel right? And I know that's like the hardest thing to sort of pinpoint. But does this art package feel right for the game? For the layout? For the theme? For the toys? For the action in the machine? Or is it trying too hard? This week is barely released there you had last Friday in this channel the last patch thataldo cleansing where if you wanted when everyone bet ok all games that worked in contention for my top 5 and bottom 5 ok then I'm going to do it like this back is forth between eight bottomed five kind of top five and i'm going to start from the bottom up so we will start Let's start with the bottom fifth game and then we will go to the top fifth game and then I will work my way up. Number one in the bottom is the ugliest. Number one in the top is the prettiest. Okay, so that is how we're going to do it. Now here are the games that I've been looking at. Are you ready for the sheer number of games that were in contention? We've got Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We've got Willy Wonka. We've got the Munsters. We've got Guns N' Roses, we've got Deadpool, we've got Jurassic Park, we've got Elvira, we've got The Mandalorian, we've got Led Zeppelin, we've got Rush, we've got The Avengers, we've got Godzilla, we've got Stranger Things, we've got Guardians of the Galaxy, we've got Iron Maiden, Rick and Morty, we've got Houdini, we've got Star Wars, we've got Oktoberfest, Legends of Valhalla, Beatles, Pirates of the Caribbean, yes Pirates of the Caribbean was revealed 5 years ago. Halloween, Ultraman, TNA, Hot Wheels, Kelts. I don't think I missed anything there. I hope not. So now, bottom 5. Also one of my criteria was what is the subject matter and what did you have to work with and did you make it work Okay Alright so drum roll Kaneda let start at the bottom of the list This is the fifth worst art package I've seen over the last five years and it is no other than Stern's most recent release Rush Pinball. Now I'm looking at it right now and this thing is just, I don't know, like there's nothing special about the playfield. I'm going to be talking about the three Rush characters in the middle of the playfield. I don't have a problem with the space gradient, time travel theme to this whole thing. The color palette is fine, but these three characters that represent the Rush musicians just look like they're from a lunchbox that a kid drew. There's just very little detail to them. They look more like Spinal Tap than Rush. I just don't like it. And then after that, there really is nothing else. Like look at this game. All you've got is those three characters and then you've got the owl down by Hoot again and then nothing else. So this was a really, really lazy art package by Stern and Stern's done some amazing art packages as we're going to see. So when this This game came out. It's like this would have been good like 15 years ago from Stern, but this game in 2021 was really, really embarrassing. And so it is the fifth worst pinball playfield art package in the last five years. All right, let's go to the fifth best. You know, instead of going back and forth, let's just go through the five worst art packages together. I know I'm changing my mind, but trust me, it'll make more sense This week's topic is pinball. So what is the fourth worst art package over the last five years? This is also a stern pinball game. It is also a music pin by stern pinball. Can you guess what it is? I almost want to flip the order of these two, but Led Zeppelin by Stern Pinball is really, really lazy. It's really, really boring. At least they tried to illustrate stuff on the Rush Machine albeit I don't like it. But on Led Zeppelin, this art package is so stale. It is so boring. You've got this like black and white Zeppelin that's burning up. Then you've got the Icarus down by the flippers and you've got this ornate sort of thing surrounding the Icarus. And then it's just this lazy gradient. But this is really where they gave up. Look at the slingshot plastics WPPR It's like they decided to put absolutely no art on any of the plastics on this game. And then you go up the playfield and it's just drag and drop imagery of the band. Really, really lazy. Nothing makes the inserts pop. Nothing makes this game special to look at. It is such a mailed in effort by Stern Pinball. If you ask me, one of the reasons why this Stern LE is not going up in value It's because it's ugly and there's nothing interesting to shoot at in the game. I get that it has flow. What an ugly way to pay homage to one of the greatest bands of all time. Stern should be so embarrassed that they immortalize Led Zeppelin with this lazy ass art package. You're like, Kaneda, I thought this was a positive show and you're just ragging on pinball. Well, I'm just going through the worst first. Don't worry everybody. We're gonna get to the best pretty soon. Alright, so what comes in at number three when we're thinking about the bottom five worst art packages of all time? Now this is another game that recently came out and it's another game when you look at the detail of the characters They're really bad It almost looks like this game was drawn by two different artists because some of the characters Have more detail than other characters on the playfield The other thing about this playfield artwork that I just don't like is the entire middle section of it is like something I don't even know what it is supposed to be. I don't think there's any worse art decision to make than make this central thing happening confusing. And the game I'm talking about here is Legends of Vahalla. Alright, look over this game right now and I think, what is that, Odin with the eyepatch and then you've got, I mean there is this female viking to his left over the shoulder They obvioulsy busy making pics and consuming the clips and queuing for pics. But with it, it's normal. amount of works on every broom cuts having مت Pure Style Do Fall Out Day finishes These two are really really broken and I think both of these companies should be really really embarrassed that this is what they went with artwork. And it was hard to pick between these two because they're both just terrible. They are just terrible, but here's how I decided which one was the worst and which one was the second worse. This week's topic is which one is just a little bit more cohesive at least like which one is easier to look at on the eyes, you know, which one is just easier to look at and then which one just makes you want to stab your eyes out because there is so much going on. And so coming in as the second worst playfield art package over the last five years is no other than Haggis Pinball's Kelts. I mean, I'm looking at the game right now and this art package, it's her, I mean, the drawings are horrendous. I mean, there's no way around it. These characters, this looks like one of Killian's books, right? I don't want the illustrations on a six to $7,000 pinball machine to be worse than what's in my son's like one year old reading level books. Okay, this is bad. The characters look bad. The drawings are bad. There's not even like gradient really, it's just purple. And then you've got these two characters. And then you've got like some grass and you've I don't know weird troll looking guys. It's just bad. It's really bad, but it's not the worst the one thing I do like about this at least there's some like cohesiveness to where the characters are I do like how there's like a character that's like standing on the slingshot and everything seems to be arranged you know where they wanted it I mean it's not funny to say like I feel like this is where they wanted this stuff to go because the worst one of all All seems like someone just tripped and vomited all over the playfield. All right, so taking the cake for the ugliest and the worst pinball playfield art package over the last five years, you know what it is if you've been listening to my show, is no other than also the worst theme choice in the history of pinball, Joe Balser and American Pinball Oktoberfest a game in which they sold it in the summertime But when I look at this machine it literally looks like the art director tripped on his way to the machine and just vomited all his ideas over the playfield and wherever stuff landed when it spewed out of his mouth is where they drew stuff I don even know what to look at I don know what going on There a combination of what looks like a Where Waldo book in the middle of this playfield This week's topic is the most popular topic in the world. And then you've got what looks like Photoshop artwork of people. It's like eight different art styles colliding. It looks so bad. And every time I see this, like, there's this big beer mug that looks like clip art. And then you've got like illustrated Waldo characters walking around this Oktoberfest. And then you've got just like Photoshop images of women with mustaches. And the whole thing is just hideous. It is hideous. This game needs to be put on the roof of TNT Amusements and Todd Tuckey should push all of these games off the roof. I don't care if the Poor Man's Pinball Podcast likes this game. This game is just hideous and that is one of the reasons why nobody wants the game. Alright, I'm done being negative. I'm done being negative. Now look, there were some like honorable bad mentions as well. Like I think Stern Star Wars is terrible. I think Houdini is too dark. I think Stranger Things is just like an insert Nightmare. Have you ever seen Stranger Things? I mean look at this game. It's just like 80,000 inserts just like interrupting the entire art package. It is one of the worst insert layouts in pinball history. How about you guys use the LCD or the callouts to communicate some of this. This is the hardest game to put art on because of all of the insert chaos going on. What's going on? Alright, enough of the negativity Kaneda. Let's go to Kaneda's top five best playfield art packages, the top five sexiest pinball machines I've seen over the last five years. And these are five machines. When you stand over them, when you look down at these machines, to me these are the prettiest, the most cohesive, the best examples of what beautiful pinball should be. I think each of these takes the theme, it takes the layout, it takes the inserts, and all of these art packages complement the game in every single way. I think the easiest way to describe these five is they're beautiful on the eyes. When you stand over these games, they are just beautiful to look at. Again, this is the playfield artwork. I'm not talking about translites or cabinets. But these to me are the top five most beautiful games that when you stand over them, they just make you say, yeah, like that's a great looking game. Number five was the hardest for me because I went back and forth and I'm going to tell you what the two were. And I went back and forth between these two. I'm going to tell you which one didn't make it. And that's Ultraman because I do think the Ultraman artwork is beautiful. But where Ultraman fell down for me was the artwork doesn't really connect with the inserts at all. And those inserts were made for a John Wick game. You know, I'll give you an example. Like, look at Ultraman, right? You've got him beautifully drawn by the flippers and he's punching towards the sky. And he's got these big two yellow eyes, right? Do those eyes light up? No, they don't! And then you look at a game like Guardians of the Galaxy and Starlord, his eyes light up. And that's what I mean. It's like this art was put down but they didn't integrate the art with the inserts in any way, shape or form. A very cringy title especially related to things like Laughs bar appreciate Moon to even similar to not curd Sky sad eng ones but it it cause a bastard make and any 900 people in her getting rickshea nearly three periods in the game i gays under the gesture Racies bacon py