Journalist Tool

Kineticist

  • HDashboard
  • IItems
  • ↓Ingest
  • SSources
  • KBeats
  • BBriefs
  • RIntel
  • QSearch
  • NName Review
  • +Health

v0.1.0

← Back to items

F*@kit Friday! Star Wars

Poor Man's Pinball Podcast·podcast_episode·analyzed·Jan 17, 2020
View original
Export .md

Analysis

claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 · $0.024

TL;DR

Drew and Scott critique The Mandalorian's character shift from badass bounty hunter to caring father figure.

Summary

Drew and Scott Ian discuss their experience watching Star Wars: The Mandalorian (Pro season), critiquing the show's tonal shift from a gritty bounty hunter narrative in early episodes to a more family-friendly, emotional story centered on the protagonist becoming a father figure to Baby Yoda. They praise Jon Favreau's direction and original trilogy callbacks but lament Disney's perceived influence toward cutesy characters and broader appeal over character consistency. The conversation tangentially covers the prequel trilogy and discusses hypothetical improvements to The Phantom Menace.

Key Claims

  • Jon Favreau convinced Disney to make Baby Yoda a physical puppet rather than CGI.

    medium confidence · Scott Ian reports reading this; specific source not cited in podcast

  • The Mandalorian's main character weapon (disintegration rifle) disappears after episode 4 and is not used in episodes 5-8.

    high confidence · Drew observes this directly while watching the show

  • The show exhibits a major character arc shift between episodes 4 and 5, transitioning from ruthless bounty hunter to caring father.

    high confidence · Both hosts agree on observing this shift

  • Stormtrooper appearance changes dramatically from battered/gritty in early episodes to clean/pristine in episodes 7-8.

    high confidence · Drew documents this visual inconsistency

  • Disney's Star Wars films use cute characters (BB-8, Porgs, Baby Yoda) as a deliberate strategy to drive toy sales.

    medium confidence · Scott Ian's opinion based on industry observation

  • The original Phantom Menace featured a Frank Oz puppet Yoda that was later replaced with CGI in re-releases.

    high confidence · Both hosts discuss this confirmed filmmaking history

Notable Quotes

  • “I like odes to the old stuff. I think Jon Favreau just peppered in enough of it to make it good without ruining the story.”

    Drew @ early in episode — Establishes initial positive take on Favreau's direction and nostalgia callbacks

  • “He's kind of like the last one. It's this secret kind of little tribe that they have, but it's not a lot of people.”

    Scott Ian @ mid-episode — Compares Mandalorian arc to Jedi decimation narrative parallels

  • “See, you know, like Clint Eastwood, right? A lot of those old Westerns that he did... he started as a rough, badass outlaw... But he still had an honorable side to him. By the end of the movie, he was still a tough dude.”

    Drew @ late episode — Articulates preferred character arc model that maintains core identity while showing growth

  • “You know what was everyone talking about on social media for the last two months? Baby Yoda, right? That's part of the Disney ploy.”

    Scott Ian @ late episode — Connects merchandising strategy to viral marketing success

  • “These droids get littler and cuter... You could see where they were going with it because it was a little cute droid.”

    Scott Ian @ late episode — Documents Disney's pattern of introducing cute mascot characters across trilogy

Entities

DrewpersonScott IanpersonJon FavreaupersonGeorge LucaspersonFrank OzpersonStar Wars: The Mandalorian (Pro)gameWhitewatergameThe Mandalorianproduct

Signals

  • ~

    sentiment_shift: Community perception of The Mandalorian divided between casual viewers who embraced Baby Yoda as viral phenomenon versus critical fans who perceived character consistency problems.

    medium · Scott Ian: 'Star Wars fans on YouTube just thought everything was great. For Star Wars The Mandalorian (Pro)? Yeah. And Baby Yoda was amazing.' vs. hosts' detailed critique of character arc shift

  • ?

    design_philosophy: Tension between creator intent (Favreau's gritty bounty hunter narrative) and corporate/platform mandates (Disney requiring emotional family appeal).

    medium · Drew: 'So do you think maybe Jon Favreau had something else in mind and Disney's like, nope, we need to have a heart?'... 'I think Jon Favreau's take, he I think he wrote it... each episode was directed by someone different'

  • ?

    product_strategy: Disney's deliberate character design strategy to create viral, toy-sellable mascots across Star Wars properties.

    high · Scott Ian: 'You could see where they were going with it because it was a little cute droid... These droids get littler and cuter... They're purposely coming up with these characters to sell toys. You know, that's what it is.'

  • ?

    industry_signal: Broader criticism of contemporary blockbuster filmmaking prioritizing broad appeal and 'wokeness' over character authenticity.

    medium · Drew: 'We have to have these guys step out of character to be more woke in a way. They have to be super sensitive, and they have to appeal to everybody.'

  • ?

    gameplay_signal: Drew's completion and high score achievement on Star Wars: The Mandalorian (Pro) pinball machine indicating game stability and extended playability.

Transcript

groq_whisper · $0.124

0:00
Cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do. You're just in time for the after party that is Bucket Friday, starring Drew and Ian.
0:18
Welcome to Bucket Friday, episode 10. Fuck it. Episode 10. We're here. Weekend is here. 10. 10 weekends. We're all sauced up. It's been a hell of a night, hell of a Monday. I just grand championed Ian's Whitewater. But it's Friday. He did. Like literally two seconds ago, I grand championed his Whitewater. Oh, did he kill it? What was your final?
0:42
633 million. Woo-hoo! I'm not in that billion club yet, but I'll move up the ranks on Pindigo for sure. That's some serious fucking shit, dude. Yeah, I was making shots. That's for sure. Love it. Feel good. Yeah, dude. That's fucking amazing. Awesome. Thanks, man. I'm very proud of you. Thank you, sir. See, I wouldn't be proud if this happened last week because during the week, my white water reset and all the scores we lost. So somehow it doesn't matter because you didn't beat any of my stuff.
1:16
Ian's like, you got the grand champion, but last week I had like three billion on there and you didn't see it. But you know what? This isn't a podcast show or a pinball show. This is a fucking Friday show. It is, but it just happened and I was so excited about it. I don't care. We can talk about whatever you want, Ian. Well, it's a joke because we always go off on tangents and you're always like steering us back to the pinball talk. I love pinball. I know you do. Let's talk about, I like pop culture stuff. You know that. Yeah. So what do we got going on? I finished Mandalorian finally. How'd you like that? Guys, spoiler alert. We're going to talk Mandalorian. So turn it off now. I forgot about that. If you haven't seen it, episode eight. It's too late. It's been on forever. Yeah. Yeah, I just finished last night, but yeah, it's been out for a few weeks now, right? Yeah. So, I will say this. I like odes to the old stuff. Yeah. I think Jon Favreau just peppered in enough of it to make it good without ruining the story. Yeah. No, I agree. He put in the TIE fighter at the end there, which is kind of cool.
Disney
company
Baby Yodaproduct
Darth Maulperson
Anakin Skywalkerperson
The Phantom Menaceproduct
Boba Fettperson
Clint Eastwoodperson

high · Drew: 'I just grand championed Scott Ian's Whitewater... I just finished Star Wars The Mandalorian (Pro) finally.'

  • ?

    content_signal: Social media dominance of Baby Yoda as merchandise and meme phenomenon during The Mandalorian season 1 run.

    high · Scott Ian: 'You know what was everyone talking about on social media for the last two months? Baby Yoda, right?'

  • ?

    design_innovation: Jon Favreau's successful advocacy for practical puppet Baby Yoda over CGI, seen as superior creative choice.

    medium · Scott Ian: 'I read that Disney wanted to make him CG, and Jon Favreau was like, no, it's going to be a puppet. I'm not doing this unless it's a puppet.'

    • 2:21
    Because this is supposed to take place just after Return of the Jedi. Yeah. It kind of just follows the original saga. Yeah. And they just started talking about the Jedi. Yeah. In like the last episode or two. And if you haven't seen it, you know, like I said, we're not going to talk in great detail about it. But it's good. I like his storytelling. I wish he did the trilogy. Yeah. The final trilogy. Because I still haven't seen Rise of Skywalker yet. I watched Rise of Skywalker. I can give you a synopsis if you want. That's fine. Go ahead. I don't know. I'm one of those people I always forget shit. I'll hold off. That's fine. Yeah, there's still people that need to see it. But I just think Jon Favreau. It's a mess. Yeah. He's done so well with everything. The newest Star Wars is a goddamn mess. Everything he touches does so well. Favreau, yeah, Favreau. And I started watching that Aladdin last night after The Mandalorian, and I was getting a little drunk. So I was like, yeah, I got to go to bed because I had to get up this morning. But I'm like, holy shit. Even like Aladdin, I know he's following the same script, but i'm like do a land oh he didn't no he did lion king i thought he did all those no who did aladdin uh laden was uh guy ritchie the guy who did like oh that's right i did see that okay i take it back it sucks five rolls the king aladdin's great no no i i literally watched the first like 10 minutes no i was good i was i was getting into aladdin's my favorite live action cool did you see the jungle book i did not see the jungle yeah i did okay yeah but i never really dug that as a story. No, I didn't like the animated one. I mean, I did not like it. It just didn't call to mind. Out of all the Disney stories, that was probably the weakest one for me. Agreed. No, it wasn't a great story. But back to Mandalorian. Mandalorian, I think they did a good job. See, they're going to be doing this a lot though. They did a good job, like you said, sprinkling in a little bit of the original trilogy stuff, but they're going to do more and more odes to the Disney shit. So like all the animated series. So at the end, spoiler alert, turn it off. Last warning.
    4:28
    3, 2, 1. Spoiler alert. 3, 2, 1. Spoil it. Well, they showed the Darksaber. And that's a total cartoon thing from the Clone Wars.
    4:42
    Oh, see, I never watched the cartoon stuff. So it was, yeah, the Clone Wars. okay the cartoon clone wars so the dark saber is that black and white lightsaber that was created by a mandalorian jedi and that was the history of this dark saber thing and let's back up what exactly is a mandalorian all right so mandalorian is from the planet mandalore okay so that's just like the people from and they're a tribal society and they're very warlike yep but there's two different factions the mandalore if i'm see it this is all that disney shit it's it's because of the cartoon they're doing different they're adding a lot more to it because when we were kids boba fett was a mandalorian and the mandalorians were just like badass warriors and his story was told through like graphic novels and stuff right yeah and like character biography books that i used but but all those like the star wars dictionary yes and then i remember when i was a kid mandalorians were essentially um they they were the ones that were cloned and turned into the clones and clone wars and all the clones had mandalorian armor yeah because that was like the jango fett story from yeah and then they kind of changed in the movies and it's not just different now they're not mandalorians they're stormtroopers Well, yeah, because in Attack from the Clones, the movie, it was like Jango Fett and those clones became the Stormtroopers. Yeah. And that isn't it at all. It sounds like some Mandalorian army, which... Yes, would be more badass. What I thought it was, and I thought it was the Mandalorian army clones versus the Jedi. That's what it was when we were kids. Sure. That was in, like, not the graphic novels, but, like, I had a Star Wars dictionary that had, like, the whole story about each character and shit. And Boba Fett's was pretty long. But, like, the Clone Wars part was also. But they got, Disney bought it and scrapped it and said, no, we're doing it over. Even George Lucas scrapped it. I shouldn't even say that because this was all before George Lucas bought it. Anyway, so Mandalorians are from Mandalore. There's two tribes. There's the warlike guys, and then there's the ones that are like, listen, this isn't fucking helping. You know, stop fighting each other. Let's be strong together. So they were kind of, I wouldn't say, yeah, they're like Republicans and Democrats. Sure. They're more liberal in their views. Like, hey, listen, we band together and not be this tribal dickheaded society. We could rule this galaxy. We could be strong. and so i think the story goes there was a civil war some shit happened they were a mess and they continued to be a mess uh and then the empire came by and wiped them all out but the the show doesn't do a great job of fleshing that part out no you're just all of a sudden you kind of think they're a small group well that's after the empire wiped them all out that's why they're it's kind of the same story of the jedi if you think seriously right yeah because that man that the jedi in um like phantom menace they were like big and powerful and then you know they get disbanded and like you know they're kind of spread out yeah yeah and the big uh where was the big massacre was that an attack from the clones yeah yeah no revenge of the sith was that revenge yeah where he destroys all the little kids and stuff anakin goes around yeah i'm I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about when they had that big battle in the arena. Oh, that's the attack from close. Yeah. That's the second one. All those Jedi just got massacred. Yeah. But anyways, but it's the same kind of thing. And then there's only a few left, and that's how you get Luke Skywalker and whatever, because there's very few Jedi left in the world. Yeah, that's a good point. I never thought of that. Yeah. So the Mandalorian is like the Luke Skywalker. Kind of the same thing. Yeah. He's kind of like the last one. It's this secret kind of little tribe that they have, but it's not a lot of people. Yeah. Because there's like what? they showed like six or seven of them kind of getting together and um but the other part that i kind of like they don't really talk about you know you assume that he's just like this bounty hunter which he is but he's not like the other bounty hunters you know because like all the bounty hunters like just give me money i'll do my shit you know go about my business he's like i have a heart and you know i care about people and things and it's like it doesn't really fit you know yeah no i get it i mean it's a cool story and he's a nice guy and that's fine yeah but it just it didn't fit the bounty hunter role that you thought yeah he turned he turned like he was i liked him better in the beginning he was he was like real badass yeah he's just like nope i'm making yeah i'm doing my thing yep give me my money but then all of a sudden he meets baby yoda and he's like i'm a dad now yeah totally bugged me too and and star wars fans on youtube just thought everything was great. For Mandalorian? Yeah, and Baby Yoda was amazing. And I'm just sitting there, I'm like, yeah, I get it. Baby Yoda's cute.
    9:54
    But Baby Yoda, like, the Mandalorian had, like, this lifelong creed, and all of a sudden, what, he looks at Baby Yoda, and he's like, like he said, I'm a dad now. No, and maybe that's a story. No and I not kidding Maybe that a story Oh my god that such a good take dude I know I don usually have good takes like that That a great take Ian you a new dad right Yeah I have a new dad You know Ian daughter is going on two years old this year So he's a really new dad. So you can attest that when you have a baby, your life changes dramatically, right? Maybe that's the story they're going for. I guess, man. You know, I don't know. I didn't find her, though. I'm a dad, too. I didn't find my baby. Yeah, that's true. You didn't see it and be like, oh. And I wasn't a badass bounty hunter before I found this baby. Yeah, that's very true. You know what I'm saying? But you know what I mean? But that part of it was sloppy. Yeah. The second part of it that I thought was very sloppy was he established. So hang on, hang on. I just want to flesh this out just a little bit further. Oh, sure. So do you think maybe Jon Favreau had something else in mind and Disney's like, nope, we need to have a heart?
    11:07
    That's possible. because like you said it started off kind of gritty i think john favreau's take he i think he wrote it right i think he wrote the whole thing the basic yeah i basic outlines for each episode but i still feel like each episode was directed by someone different and i think they brought their own little sure to have the disney okay so so he had this idea they probably gotten a few arguments about hey i want to do this or that yeah and they're like no no fabro was like well this is the story but it's it's an outline you know as long as you get these key points you can kind of play with you good this here's a great point so episode one episode two episode three and episode four the bounty hunter's like main weapon is that rifle yeah and fork a big blaster that disintegrates things and it's a fucking badass it disappears after episode four it's not in five six seven or eight it's gone yeah where did that go that was yeah it was it's just it's it's things like that where they they made him in the first four episodes they establish how badass he is now don't get me wrong i love the fact that he it's an action, but he's not all powerful, right? Like he gets his ass kicked. He's very Indiana Jones in that way. I love that part about him. Brings it more of a human element to it. But yeah, 5, 6, 7, and 8. He he changes. His character completely changes. And he doesn't use... Like, I almost feel like episode five, he was almost tempted to take off his fucking helmet right away. He was. Like, it was almost instantly. He was almost. He changed from four to, there was a huge shift. Like, four to five.
    13:14
    And five, six, seven, eight. They went down this path where, okay, I'm not using my cool disintegration rifle because it sounds like that would be something for bad guys to use. Now he's a good guy. and he's going down this good guy path, you know, and he, yeah, dad stuff all day long. And, yeah, it's just one of those things where you feel like. It almost seems like almost two separate characters. Yeah. No, I agree. And I wouldn't even say four, but I would say at least the first two or three episodes, he was like full in bounty hunter. Right. I mean, he was a little less bloodthirsty, if you will, but he was still, like you said, he was just all bounty hunter. Yeah. I'm just doing my job. Yeah. Like I'm supposed to. Yeah. Throwing the baby in the closet. Yeah. Don't fucking touch my shit, baby. Yeah. I'm a bounty hunter. Yeah. And then episode five goes on, he's like changing diapers and shit. Maybe I love you. Yeah. Maybe I love my baby. Are you hungry? Yeah. I'm hungry. Fuck me. Yeah. We just ruined Mandalorian for everyone. No, it's not. It's a good story. It is. And they did a good job with the original trilogy stuff, and they did. That's the other thing I liked about the first four episodes.
    14:31
    The Stormtroopers, when you first see them, what do they look like? They're all, like, beat to shit. They're bloody. Their armor looks like crap. They're, like, they look like they've been through some shit, right? Yeah, they look gritty, which I really liked. I really liked it. They weren't white. They weren't just whitewashed and clean. And what happened in episodes seven and eight? All of a sudden, you got a whole town of stormtroopers. They're all bright white. You even have the death troopers, the black guys, the black armored dudes. You even had two guys on the speeder bikes. The biker scouts. That was hilarious. I didn't think it didn't fit the story just because of how they were so comedic. but I really enjoyed it because it was just so funny watching it and when the dude hit the satchel he's like shut up whack I like the target practice they just looked at each other I don't know so that was funny enough and then sure as shit a minute later he smacks the satchel even harder he's like fuck you baby Yoda whack it was awesome the target practice was And that's one of those things. Didn't I just tell you? He wiped out an entire store trooper platoon. Yeah. We're not calling him. If I'm watching that with my wife, I'll be laughing my ass off, and she'll be like, I don't get it. Yeah. When they're missing the, yeah. Yeah. It's like, I don't get it. Yeah. No, I get it. That was a true Star Wars joke, which is just fantastic. Yeah, absolutely. No, and there was a lot in there, but they changed it again, though. From a battered, they just lost the war to the rebels, and all of a sudden, oh yeah, there's a lot of us and we're powerful.
    16:19
    Don't give me that shit. I like the battered looking Star Trek troopers. I would have liked some more comedic moments like that, and that would have been fine. But I think, yeah, the story needed to... You know, the other thing, kind of like we're saying, whitewashing this and making it heaven and heart, like IG-88. Same thing, at the end, he's like, oh, I'm a nurse. Okay, fine.
    16:39
    I'm going to sacrifice myself for you or whatever. I'm like, come on. IG-11, I think it was. Oh, that droid was pretty cool, though, that had legs. Yeah, it was fucking weird.
    16:51
    Was that off-putting? That was a little off-putting for me. Yeah, you know what? Because he stands up and you're like, whoa, I've never seen this before. IG-11, yeah, that was so dumb when they turned him into a nurse. I hated that. That was another one. Just make him a badass. Yeah. Why can't he be a badass? Because it's Disney. Why can't he think about this other short? We're making this show seem terrible. But you know what a bounty hunter droid would do? He'd take that fucking nuclear detonator he has, attach it to that stupid R2 unit with the legs, and tell him to walk out there. Yeah, just be like, go. Check it out. Go for it. Yeah. Oh, you don't want to? Hold on. Let me reprogram you real quick. Now walk out there. Yeah. Beep. Boom. They're all dead. Now they can all go off. Now you have an IG unit fighting with the Mandalorian. I'm not programmed for that anymore. I'm programmed. I'm here to love. Yeah.
    17:36
    Hugs. It's a great show. Yeah, watch it. It's awesome. It's a great show. No, it is because, once again, I mean. It's easy to pick apart shit like that. Did we really think that they weren't going to do any of that stuff? I mean, you know, you've got to have some humor. You've got to have the stuff in there. Because, once again, they're not much like anything else in this world. They can't just cater to the hardcore Star Wars audience. Right. They've got to cater to a large, widespread audience. I just wish they would have followed. See, you know, like Clint Eastwood, right? A lot of those old westerns that he did.
    18:14
    You know, the good, the bad, the ugly. Oh, God, there's so many. But in those movies, he started as, you know, a rough, badass outlaw or whatever. Sure. He was just a tough dude. Yep. But he still had an honorable side to him. Yeah. By the end of the movie, he was still a tough dude, and he had an honorable side to him. Like, his character doesn't change. However, that honorable side affects people. And I felt like Mandalorian could have done more of that and less of the Disney-like treatment. Well, like, Gran Torino is another example. Oh, yeah. Like I said, he's this crotchety old man, this war vet. but he doesn't want to see injustice being done in his neighborhood.
    19:05
    And yeah. For a few dollars more. All those old Westerns, that's a great reference to what they were going with in the beginning to what you got at the end versus any of those great Westerns where Clint Eastwood, he wasn't dad stuff at the end of it. He was just like he understood. He wanted what's best for Yoda.
    19:29
    and he would a baby yoda we don't even know what this fucking thing's name exactly doesn't even have a name he would have been better off just like handing it off to somebody who did care and that's what clevis would would have done yeah said hey whoa you know he's safe you're actually a good person yeah he's safe you know please take this baby and take care of that i'm gonna i'm gonna bottle feed this baby for the rest of exactly yeah he's like i don't want this baby to get in my shit Yeah, I got shit to do. I have dangerous shit to do. I can't have a baby hanging out. Like another Star Wars character named Han Solo. What would Han Solo have done? He would have been like, get the fuck out of here, baby. Later, kid. Yeah, but he would have made sure he was safe. Exactly. But he would have been like, yeah, get out of here. But Disney's Han Solo wouldn't have done that. No. That's the difference. He would have breastfed him. Yeah, Disney's Han Solo. That's the thing. And that's the disappointment of the treatment of movies. And not just Star Wars. I'm just saying movies in general. Oh, Marvel's the same way. Yeah we have to have these guys step out of character to be more woke in a way They have to be super sensitive and they have to appeal to everybody But I'm just saying, when is it so wrong for a tough guy with a heart of gold to end the show, tough guy, heart of gold, without... Yeah.
    20:54
    No, I get it. Shit, but... Yeah, the shit just... It's not ending. It's going to be there. Disney, when they bought it, we should have seen this coming a mile away. And like I said, again, not a bad show. But it was going one direction, and then it ended in another direction. And then there was a couple filler episodes that were bullshit.
    21:18
    But I would have liked to have seen a progression, maybe not so much with the Mandalorian himself, but I would have liked to have seen characters see his honorable side, and maybe they change a bit. Their money machine. And that's what I like about those old Clint Eastwood movies. Their money machine. That's all I wanted to say. Disney's money machine prints more money when they have heartfelt stuff that the greater audience watches. That's all. Yeah. You know, what was everyone talking about on social media for the last two months? Baby Yoda, right? Yeah. Baby Yoda is, it's a viral sensation. Well, that's part of that, that's part of that, that's also part of the Disney ploy, right? Yeah, no, absolutely. First Star Wars Disney movie, who's the cute little thing? Oh, the BB-8. BB-8, yeah. And then it went to those little P-Woggies. Porgs. Porgs, yep. I was thinking Pierogies. Porgs. Pierogies.
    22:13
    The Polish potato pockets. And then, so that hit. Yeah, Porgs. The Porgs hit. Yep. And then the third movie, it was that fucking little, there's a little droid in it, that BB-8 friends. Oh, okay. It didn't land. Oh, okay. It didn't land as well. It wasn't as big as BB-8 or the Porgs. But you could see where they were going with it because it was a little cute droid. Yeah. These droids get littler and cuter. Yeah, sure. And then there was another character in the newest Star Wars movie that was, he had a scene where he was like this underground hacker or any reprogrammed C-3PO or whatever. Sure. Put him just in factory default settings, basically. And he was a little thing, and he was pretty damn funny. Sure. I really, actually, probably one of the best Star Wars characters in a long time. Sure. But that's where Disney goes. Sure. They have to have a cute little thing. They're purposely coming up with these characters to sell toys.
    23:11
    You know, that's what it is. Give it up for Jon Favreau, though, because I read that Disney wanted to make him CG, and Jon Favreau was like, no, it's got to be a puppet. I'm not doing this unless it's a puppet. What, Baby Yoda? Yeah, Baby Yoda. So props to him. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's awesome. It had to be a physical thing.
    23:28
    I mean, I guess it's cost at that point. No, I get what you're saying. I know what you're going to say. Yeah, it's such a stupid thing to make CG. It's a little... Yeah, I'm wondering. Exactly. Does it really cost more to do a little puppet? because this isn't like a whole man-sized puppet. This is a little hand puppet, literally. Someone's hand's in there. So wait, no.
    23:54
    Now I need to talk to Disney and be like, you couldn't afford, I know they can afford it, obviously, but you think it's less money to have a bunch of programmers make CGI than to put a fucking hand puppet in there?
    24:08
    They make a hand puppet in a couple hours. It's weird. I get it. Hand puppets. I mean, you know, what's jarring is looking at, you know, Yoda from... Oh, Phantom Menace. He still gives me nightmares. That's a weird-looking Yoda. I know he's younger. They changed him up. I know, but... He's CGI now in Phantom Menace. But that whole prequel trilogy in CGI Yoda... Yeah, I know. It just... It was jarring. Yeah. Now, when they reintroduced him in Brian Johnson's... Hang on, let me just get this straight. so the original phantom menace was a puppet was a puppet that was high yoda that's what we call yeah that was the stoner yeah yeah he had red eyes yeah it was weird and then later they went back and yeah remember they were released in 3d yeah we watched that shit oh yeah that was terrible guys funny story true story drew and i we went back to the theater to watch the fans this is like 2010 2011 like 10 years when it got re-released in 3d drew was like we gotta go right i was like Fuck yeah, we do. We're Star Wars fans. Even though neither one of us liked The Phantom Menace. We went and we saw it in 3D and we left going, George got us again. And that was right around the time that South Park episode aired with George Lucas and Spielberg raping people. Yeah. Actually raping people. George did it again. Yeah, George did it again. He got us for, at that time, it was like 10 bucks. That movie sucks in 3D. Yeah, that's right. That was the big joke. because the only kind of cool thing was when they were underwater.
    25:42
    And you could put a 3D effect. But other than that, it was still the Phantom Menace. The pod racing was okay in 3D, but the whole movie was just like, what are we doing here? We got Jar Jar Binks in our face, like, no, this is terrible. Let's go to Phantom Menace. Let's talk about Phantom Menace, shall we? Let's do it. What would you change in that, besides everything?
    26:04
    Like I said... Let's make a solid top five list. Everyone. Top five things you could do to Phantom Menace to let it become better. Number one.
    26:17
    Okay, Anakin in that movie was kind of like a loner kid. I'll give him that. Okay? Yeah. Like kind of an outcast almost. Because, you know, he grew up with his mom or whatever. But everyone knew that kid in school, especially like grade school. That one kid that was like always kind of getting in trouble. Maybe he came from the house. that was broken. You know, whatever it is. That's the kid you want in there. Yeah. If you're going to do a kid, that's fine. You don't want yippies. Yeah. No, you don't want that. You want this kid that's like... Resourceful. Yeah. But he's... Yeah, he's smart. He's smart. Street smart. But he gets... Yeah, he gets into trouble. Maybe he doesn't have parents. You know, that would be my take. Like, he just doesn't have parents. He's living on his own.
    26:58
    You know, because he's kind of got this shitty life. And that's what I would... That's number one. Yeah. Just Anakin's personality. See, I would have gone, yeah, my whole idea at the start of episode one should have been, you should have just, right off the gate, Anakin and his mom running from sand people in the desert. Oh, there you go. In Tatooine. Sure. Sand people get his mom. He freaks out. And some force power, right? That's a good backstory. Like, he kills all the. He just gets angry and just explodes. He doesn't understand. And, like, it's a mushroom cloud of sand. Yeah. And you're like, what the hell? and then somebody some ruffian some han solo figure sees that and comes and grabs him and now he now he spends his formidable years with a ruffian like han solo and no and so therefore now he can't a be a pilot right uh b um he can be more of like the swashbuckling rogue not like The Jedi Order is not going to want those kind of guys.
    28:01
    And see, we know he's all-powerful. He knows there's something there. The guy who takes him in knows there's something there, but they have no idea what they have until the Jedi get involved. But I would have liked to see my number two. I agree with your number one. Number two is I'd make Anakin a little bit older, too. Yeah, right before a teenager, maybe like 12, maybe 13, something like that. So, number one, make him kind of a problem child, but like a smart street smart kid. Yeah. Two, make him slightly older. Yeah. And, all right, what do you think for number three?
    28:39
    I'd say keep Darth Maul alive and expand his role as more of a... He'd be the mentor. He would have been the Dooku General Grievous character all wrapped in one. Yeah. Because he was so good. Yeah. Oh, he was awesome. He popped on screen, and he could have kept popping on screen, and it would have been Nice to have that as your villain for the new franchise. Mm-hmm. Dooku, yeah. Yeah, Dooku's... He's okay, but it's not threatening enough. Well, and Dooku... In general, Grievous is CG, so again, it's jarring to the eye. Yeah, Grievous wasn't. You can do anything with him. And the whole thing, like having Grievous' lightsabers, that's cool. That was a neat use. That he collected them because he killed a bunch of people. Yeah, well, that's a cool backstory, and the way he uses the lightsabers is pretty neat. But the fact that he's, like, a droid with a bad heart.
    29:38
    Like, you know what I mean? He's like an old man in a droid's body. It's just weird. I'll even challenge you like the shit he did with the lightsabers. You mean to tell me you couldn't make a robot that did that? No, that's my point. You could have a whole droid army that just spins their arms around. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You'd have like a hundred of them coming at you. Yeah. You wouldn't. No, that is a good point. I didn't think of that. It's fucking ridiculous. But the whole thing, like, he's coughing. He doesn't do anything special. And he's dying. And he's a robot. But he has a heart. Well, he was. He's like crusty and old. Well, I guess he was a creature. No, I know. And he's probably being re- Yeah, rebuilt. Rebuilt with machine parts. I know. But he's like, you're a fucking robot. I'm a genius. You know what? We can make robot geniuses. It doesn't have to be you, bro. And you're right. You're fucking replaceable. I studied with the Jedi. Yep, we just taught this robot to do it. Watch.
    30:33
    He didn't study with the Jedi, but he learned. Yeah, he learned the Jedi moves. He would learn every time he defeated a Jedi. Yeah, something like that. I don't remember. Yeah, take that memory bank and put it in a bunch of droids. Yeah so like I said that was a good attempt at a villain and it not bad but it could have been done better But it was just their attempt because they killed maul off they didn realize maul was yeah key to being well sure because you you basically have darth vader but uh younger more agile yeah you know there nothing that says you can't make him smart yeah yeah just just make him like the most powerful yeah and make him hilariously smart yeah like sure this guy gets it he can lead sure and nobody's gonna challenge him because he's scary as shit. He looks like the devil. Yeah. No, it's the whole thing just kind of... So that's three. Keeps him all alive. Yeah. And he's got to be older. He's got to be a little bit of a rebel. Get rid of Jar Jar Binks. You just have to change him up. You have to turn him into more of like a Wookiee. It doesn't have to be so goddamn goofy. Because he's like a prince or like a... No, he's just an outcast from the...
    31:44
    No, but didn't he have some role with him or something? I don't know. He brought them all together so they promoted him to general or something. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Gungans don't give a shit. They don't promote anyone to general. Yeah, that's my point. It could have been okay if he was more serious. He fits with the Rebel Alliance because they're like, what's your name? Lando Calrissian. You're a general now. Yeah, no shit. Whatever. It doesn't matter. But they could have either done one of two things. They could have made him something a bit stronger but with a sense of humor and some humor there. Like a Wookiee type, you know? Yeah. Or they could have shrunk him down into a little thing that makes him cute and funny. And that would... That Yusa in Stepping in Poop would be a little... That would play a little better. Oh, I never thought of that. It's like a little baby Yoda type. Like a small kid. People would be like, oh, he's so cute. Yeah, instead of large and annoying. But making him like five and a half, you know, six feet. Oh, he was huge. He was like seven feet tall. I mean, he was a big dude. Seven feet and goofy, gangly thing. Yeah. Ooh, Misa don't want this. Ooh. You know, you were talking about not killing off Darth Maul. The other one, which you could have probably kept alive for another episode.
    32:55
    Well, two things, and one's from episode two. But don't kill off Qui-Gon so quickly. He died in episode one. Yeah, and don't kill off Mace Windu so quickly. He died in the third one.
    33:11
    Emperor killed him. Yeah, but that was... In the third one. Yeah, it was, but it was like halfway through the movie. I'd like to see more of him I like him as he was in all three movies though yeah I know he was in plenty yeah that's true but Qui-Gon you know I think you have to kill Qui-Gon to kind of solidify that storyline you have to make sure that Obi-Wan's the shit now moving forward yeah cause I guess he was young too at that point you can't have his master like hovering around anyway regardless this is getting really technical but yeah I would have left that you know what would have changed yeah number four would be uh that whole jango fett thing i would have just gotten rid of that shit just well like i said it and the you know it's cloning boba fett the ruins boba fett yes the idea of jango fett was actually pretty cool yeah but the way they executed it was terrible yeah the more we know about our characters that we love yep the less you're going to get right because we have ideas in our head where a character comes from and when you want to like explain shit like solo did so bad for a reason nobody wants to know han solo's backstory because we all have a version in our heads that's way better than anything you're going to put in the screen so with that being said i don't want to know where boba fett came from i don't care about jango fett well and if you put him in blue armor and silver armor it doesn't But if Jango would have just been Boba's dad and he taught him to be a mercenary, that would have been cool. That would have been an alright side plot. Right? Like they hired Jango Fett for something. Yeah, he wasn't a clone. He was just Jango Fett. Yeah, Jango Fett was his dad. Yep, and he just taught Boba to be Boba. And Boba was fucking a little violent shit. Yeah, and maybe... And he liked it. And then maybe Jango does get killed in front of him, which I think he did. Which is fine, yeah. Yeah. Mace Windu chopped his head off. Yeah. Spoiler alert. Was Boba there? I don't remember. Yeah, he said that. So that kind of cements what Boba is. Yeah, you could have kept that. That would have been a good story. Yeah, but the whole clone thing was dumb as far as, you know, Jango and Boba.
    35:24
    So, yeah, that would be a good number four would be to leave that kind of Boba Fett story alone. And you're making me think of specifics here. The reason I don't have them is because I'm like I would just change everything. Yeah, I know. It's tough, but you can improve what you have there.
    35:39
    I guess one more big sweeping thing I do is the droid army bugs me because it gives the Jedi just easy fodder. We talked about this last week. Yeah. Bruce Lee's kicking 2,000 people in the face. And they're not a big threat. And that's the reason why it's not as scary. Well, those things are just so rooted in all pop culture. You think about like the Foot Clan and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You think about... I get it. You know, a lot of these... But I still think the Foot Clan can still be done in a menacing way if you're not a trained person. But I feel like even you and I could beat up a battle droid and we are not Jedi. Sure. You know what I'm saying? They miss too, yeah. They look as silly and stupid as they were. But there again, it was about cute... Cute battle droids? Yeah. The whole goddamn movie was about... That's what I'm saying. But these cute little voices. You know. ow yeah no yeah that's what i'm saying roger roger yes there you go that was the phrase yeah roger they would say ow when they got hit by a lightsaber yeah i just drove me nuts yeah give me they have general grievous's heart oh god they yeah well i just you know destroy the command ship and they all die and it's like well what's the point i don't get it yeah the whole thing with with i would just like a better villain better army something scarier something that shows that hey all right these guys are serious they're freaky and and and you know the the one thing too is let the bad guys win it's okay to have a movie where the bad guys come out on top especially if you know you're doing a trilogy yeah because yeah you have them win in like episode one or episode two yeah empire strikes back the empire won yeah that's true they got the upper hand that's true you gotta have a an episode where things don't go great for our heroes have you met a disney movie well ryan johnson tried right i mean he tried to throw a bunch out there that said hey it's okay to fail you know and don't worry we'll get it at the end of the day but do you think people hated it was too much change do you think and this could be this could be 20 years from now because you know they redoing movies is stuff that's been going on since the beginning of time yeah do you think we'll ever see another episode one two or three i don't think so why not i just don't think so if the money's there what would stop them why because they can hype up they can hype up episode what are they on 10 zero well no i know that but i'm just saying you know because they can make over the whole new trilogy and make more money when i know but over the years i mean we've watched a lot of things get rebooted. Even like Turtles. Star Wars is never going to die. You're never going to see the last Star Wars movie. No, none of us will. Our great great grandkids will be watching. They'll always make money. They'll keep making these Star Wars movies.
    38:47
    They'll just make another trilogy. It'll sell and people will buy it. You have a whole new choice. What do you think? To buy new toys. What timeline do you think the next new trilogy is? Well, they had it. Didn't they announce it? I know they announced that there's a Kenobi Disney Plus series coming up with Ewan McGregor. But I'm talking about the movies. I get it.
    39:10
    And then I thought they said that the next trilogy was going to be based on the Old Republic. Which is before the prequels, yeah.
    39:22
    So. That's what I thought I heard. Maybe I should watch Rise of Skywalker first. Skywalker. Rise of Skywalker.
    39:39
    Episode 9 ends the entire Skywalker saga, but that doesn't rule out further episodic adventures in a galaxy far, far away. Disney and Lucasfilm kicked off a sequel trilogy in 2015.
    39:51
    Blah, blah, blah. Bringing back its characters. Rey's parents in real name. Revealed. followed by Rian Johnson. It's totally shaggy.
    40:00
    The final entry in the sequel trilogy also happens to be the last movie for Star Wars main saga, which was confirmed long before Star Wars was revealed. So Rian Johnson's got a trilogy and I feel like there's another trilogy floating out there. But do you think that's going to be kind of unrelated? One of the two is going to be the Clone Wars or sorry, the Old Republic and I think one of them is going to continue on in the future. Okay, so Old Republic's going to be before New Hope. Yes, and prequels. Kind of like when the Republic's kind of getting big. Yeah, when the Jedi were becoming pretty badass. They were running. I don't know. That might be kind of neat, though. Yeah, I'll take it. Yeah. If it's done well. Well. They're all dads. Then you're not going to take it. They all have baby Yodas and little knapsacks. Yeah, they're all like, hey, guys, break from fighting. We've got to take a nap. Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Let's wrap it here. All right. That's it. Angry with Star Wars now. I haven't even seen the last movie. Thanks for ruining Star Wars for me. Have a great weekend, everybody. We love you guys. Thanks for listening to Friday, episode 10. Don't forget to email us, poormanspinball at gmail.com. Like us on Facebook. Poor Man Spinball Podcast. Thank you.