Cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do. You're just in time for the after party that is Bucket Friday, starring Drew and Ian. Welcome everybody to Bucket Friday, episode number four. Number four? This week, we'll be talking about heartbeats again. Oh, wait a minute. No, we're definitely not because I did the research and realized that nobody gives a shit. So we're kind of done with that. Plus our fucking friendships on the line. Man, it was so contentious the last couple of weeks because we got medical professionals and non-medical professionals. That argument went all week long. Yes, and it's still kind of going on. So we just said we're definitely not talking about it today. We're just going to get away from the heartbeats. Does that sound cool? That sounds great. Oh, I love it. So what is on tap today? We didn't even talk about a subject today. I mean, normally we at least say, oh, let's do this, let's do that. But, you know, it's fucking Friday, so who gives a shit? No, I'm all torn up right now. I'm feeling great. We had a couple people ask us to share maybe our favorite drunken stories. Ooh, we got a lot of those. God, there's a lot. I mean, where do we start? We drink a lot. I don't know. We should start there. I'll just give a short little tidbit. It's not even necessarily about drinking. Well, I guess it is, but we had a Fourth of July party and a pig roast once, and Ian and I ate the eyeballs of a pig because they do that in Mexico, apparently. Yeah, they have their soul. Yeah, and we were like, oh, we can do that, and we had them both on a spoon. Yeah. And then we ate eyeballs. So does the worst. Yeah, because it's like, it's as slimy as you can imagine. You should have just swallowed it instead of tried to chew it. And that's what I did, because, yeah, chewing it, no good. you just use it's like an oyster i pick fail yeah oysters are good man i love oysters that eyeball was nasty as shit the thing was crunchy nobody needs to know any of this this is terrible drunk story you asked yeah it's terrible it's terrible no you know what's funny about that fucking party no the only story out of that party was the fact that drew had a pool set up above ground pool that's how poor man we are yeah it's one of those like walmart like fucking you know you know the drill we're all swimming in it because it was like 100 fucking degrees july 100 fucking literally over 100 degrees the pig was roasting with like no charcoal we're not joking barely any charcoal that thing was done anyway and i'm fucking in this pool or whatever you know i'm just in the pool i'm having a great time i'm swimming like i would normally swim in a pool and it was like the next day we you know we looked at the pool after we were trying to clean up it was green and i was like why is this pool green drew's like i don't know i've been pissing in this pool all day well we had we had like i don't know 30 40 it was this huge party all you idiots are just pissing in the pool it's a small pool to piss yeah if this pool is like i don't know you know whatever 10 feet across 12 feet across and yeah there's like you know at any given time there's literally 10 or 12 of us in this pool, so you can only imagine what was going on in there. I didn't pee in the pool. I was being respectful. You rented a port-a-potty, for fuck's sake. And you were like, nah, fuck it, I'll just pee in my own pool. You don't know what I was doing. I know you were peeing in that pool. You were laughing the whole time now that I think about it. Just a little giggle. Whatever. That was 4th of July. That was like, what, 10 years ago? Yeah, that was a while. I don't know if it was that long, but... I don't know. It was a bit ago. So, what else? Well, drunken stories, yeah. I mean, I have quite a few. We could always talk about Drew's reaction to alcohol in any kind of drunken scenario. I know we've talked a lot about he turning into a klepto. Yeah. I don't know if we need to revisit that again. No, just stealing stupid shit. That's the thing. Nothing's generally worthwhile. Yeah. Just stupid signs and stupid shit. When they put you on the spot, like, what's your best drunken story? Oh, it's tough. It's so tough. It's very hard. Organically, when you're talking about stuff, you're like, oh, I remember that time. Remember when we did that? Yeah. That was dope. It is tough. We'll come up with some. We'll share a few more maybe on a different episode. I don't have any right now. Yeah, it's hard to say right now. We do this thing, what we call our death march, where we do it. Oh, yes. I'll say this. We do this death march thing where we just go to where I live. There are no less than 12 taverns within walking distance. Just to set the scene, several years ago it was named the most bars per capita in the world. And it's changed over the years. Right. But South Milwaukee is a little town outside of Milwaukee that has 22,000 people. Does that sound about right? something like that yeah okay it's a smaller town it's a small town by the lake and um lake michigan yes there is literally a bar in almost every duplex on every corner like no and i'm not even exaggerating you go you go one street multiple bars yes then you go literally a block over it there's another bar and they're not like bar bars they're just like little there's like five seats in most of these. Your corner taverns, man. And there's, what, 50, 100? Yeah, with like 21,000 people and there's 100. It's crazy. And they stay open. Yes. Well, the wrench cheap here and all that kind of stuff, so it's like they can do it, but it's just nutty. Right. We walked and we hit every single bar up multiple times and it was... We just have like one drink. We just go in, have a drink. Yeah, have a drink. Shoot the shit with the bartender. go to the next bar go to the next one but when you have a bar in every corner you can only do that for so many drinks oh my god yeah you get so tore up so quickly because you're having so much fun yeah because we're what's the next adventure we're not we're not sitting at these bars like having multiple drinks we're having like a drink we're like okay we gotta go and then go to the next place go to the next bar go to the next bar it gets nutty after a while yeah no i remember I remember one time we hit up about four or five different bars, and then we found ourselves in, like, a collectible store. Oh, yes. That was fun. It was a little store that had all these, like, horror collectibles. So it had, like, anything from Nightmare on the Elm Street. Nightmare on the Elm Street, they had Jason, Vori's, Friday the 13th. Yeah all those cool like sculpted like super cool stuff All action figures all these horror action figures They had some other stuff but a lot of it was just horror Creature from the Black Lagoon Frankenstein all that old stuff So me and my drunken state, I love Creature from the Black Lagoon. I know I've said it before in the past, but love it. So what I did was I just started grabbing. I grabbed, like, two or three of these Creature from the Black Lagoon figures. He thought they were going to be, like, $20 a piece or something. Well, I grabbed him, and then some guy recognized that we were completely inebriated. Smart employee. He shows up, and he's like, hey. Because I was like bear pawing him, like crutching him. Bear hugging, just, yeah. Check it out. I grabbed him, and I was crinkling him in my little arms, and I'm just like, this is mine now. And the guy goes, he kind of jumped over a counter. He goes, you know how much that figure is? I was like, what? I don't know. It doesn't matter. You know, they're toys, right? They're toys. He's like, well, that one you're crushing up. It's like 50 bucks. I was like, no. You know, and Drew was like, wait, what? And we were both sitting there looking at the guy like, are you kidding me right now? And yeah, long story short, I put them back. Well, he grabbed them from me. He said, these are going back now. And the even shorter story is they went out of business like two months later. Well, the owner died, unfortunately. Rest in peace, owner. but I ended up coming back and getting a bunch of the Gooch Food Black Lagoon. Yeah, they had those big, tall, like, three-foot statues. I mean, it was a really neat place. Very cool store. Much better when you're sober. It was. I spent way more when I was sober than if I was when I was drunk, but that's another thing. Yeah, no, no, no, that was pretty cool. I don't know. I couldn't wait to go back when sober to show them that I'm still interesting and interested in the Creature from the Black Lagoon things, but it took a year. And then there's this other place on the main drag here that has these awesome wings. They're huge. What do they have, like 50 cent wings or whatever they were? Yeah, they're cheap as shit. They're cheap, but they're like the big, they look like actual buffaloes. I mean, they're that big. And they're good, too. Buffaloes had wings. They just come out with this whole carousel full of sauces and all the sauces are great. It's everything you can imagine, garlic parm and teriyaki. And, yeah, so you're just like, hey, we want like 30 wings, and you just order all these wings, and it's like, yeah, that'll be $20. Tear that shit up. Yeah. Oh, man. So good. Yeah. So good. Yeah, these are not like frozen wings. These are like the real deal. Yeah. Recently we did a little death march, and one of our buddies, Josh, who we mentioned in previous podcasts, spent, how much did he spend? We were doing those pull tabs. If you don't have pull tabs in your area. Explain to Paul, because we have to tell this story. You guys are going to love this one. So, pull tabs are, like, basically the cheapest form of gambling you could possibly do. They're, like, the most low-class. Think scratch-off without scratching. Yeah, you pull, and you just got to match three cherries or three lemons. You just rip a little piece of paper, and it'll tell you, you know, it'll be, like, cherry, you know, lemon. Not a win. They're made of cardboard. Yeah. And there's like literally 1,000 of them in this machine, and you put in your money, and then you push the button for – they're a dollar apiece. They're a dollar apiece. Yeah. Pull tab. The top prize is usually $250. $250. $250. Yep. Yep. Because these are like a local thing. Like someone just stocks them, and then the bar takes the – and they share the profits with the company or however it works. Pull tabs. Yep. So in every – Such a Southside Milwaukee thing too. Exactly. So in every batch – If you don't have them, feel honored. In every batch of these, like, thousand, like, you're going to have one that's, like, $250. You're going to have a couple of 50s, a couple of 25s, a bunch of 1s. A bunch of 1s. And then what everybody does is, you know, you buy $20 worth and you take your winnings. And what do you do? You buy more. You buy more pull tabs. It doesn't matter if you're a gambler or not. It's just what you do. It's what you do. You sit at the bar, you drink, and you just get these things open. It's mindless entertainment, right? Yes. So anyway, our buddy Josh, he goes up, and we're at the bar, and we look over, and he has a wad. I'm not even joking. It probably started with like $50. $50 worth of pull tabs. Yeah. And we went through them. So now remember, the top prize is $250. That's all you can win. $250 is all you can win. Yeah. So he gets these, and he starts distributing them. Go ahead. No. It was me, you, Josh, and Eric. Yeah. Eric was at this. Yeah. Yeah, we were the only four people. Episode four, Eric, from the Poor Man's Pinball Podcast. We were the only four people in this bar. He was going to close. He was closing as we walked in. He's the owner. He's like, come on in. Have a pint. Yeah, he's Irish. He was English. English. But he's from Ireland. Parents are Irish. I don't know. He's got that cool accent. Go ahead. Very cool accent. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. The moral of the story is our buddy Josh ended up pulling or buying what? He's ended up spending about $400. Yeah, and we're not exaggerating. A legitimate $400. $400. So 400 of these little pieces of cardboard. And we're sitting there pulling these tabs, you know, and trying to find a fucking winner. We didn't get one winner. No, we had like, I don't know, we probably won 50 bucks maybe. Yeah. It was a painful 50. It was like a one here, a one there. Yeah, a couple of fives, and that was it. And he went to the ATM. you know this guy he doesn't have a ton of money he goes to the atm and he pulls out like 200 and then he comes with a stack that's six inches thick oh he couldn't stop you know after a while he was trying to win his money back like still josh bro 250 oh man oh my god 50 is your bag so yeah a legitimate 400 to win 250 so like a month later you know I'm at the local coffee shop and I see the owner there. And he goes, oh, hey, how you doing? I was like, oh, hey, how you been? He's like, I'm doing good. He's like, I've seen you before. Have you been to my bar? I was like, I've been to your bar. And he goes, are you the pinball guys? Because Drew and I have been forever trying to get pinball in this bar. And I go, yeah, great memory, great memory. I was like, most recently we're the pull tab guys. And he's like, you're the fuckers that spent $400 on it, because he gets a commission on what we spend. I think he was going to close, but he ended up scoring $200. The best part about that night was he even said, he goes, yeah, I have the most to gain from this, but even I think it's, how do you say, sad or something. He just kind of shook his head. He goes, I don't want to make my money this way. And we're just kind of looking at it. We shrug our shoulders, because this is how Josh is. We just like yeah Yeah enjoy the fucking ride kids Oh my God Dude that was so funny That was fucking crazy Yeah for some shitty Oh my God Because, yeah, we'll go into any place. There's a lot. Even, like, restaurants here in the south side of Milwaukee have them, these pull tabs. Yeah. Like, they're commonplace everywhere. Yeah. So that's not even the thing. It's like you put five bucks in, you know, you win. Sometimes you're like, oh, I won 100 bucks. And it's like, cool, you know. But you're not going to spend, like, 50 to try to win that 100. Fuck no. Fuck no. What you do is the average person will drop 20 bucks. Yeah, 20 is usually the number. And then you win five. Yeah. And then you come back and you get five more and then you lose that. And then you, or you give the $5 to the bartender as a tip. And you enjoy it. Yeah. You enjoy the process. Yeah. Fuck no. Not Josh. The fucker's like, I need to spend another $300 and $380 because this is crazy. I can't believe I didn't win. Oh, just awful. Yeah, no, that dude, yeah, he's on a whole other level. But, yeah, so that was a good night, too. Yeah, we have lots of, like, most of our nights we're not out just getting hammered. We just have these fun, like, little just goofy friends. Stupid things. Dumb things. Dumb things. And some of the stuff, yeah, you can't really experience on the south side of Milwaukee. Yeah. It's so true. Got to be there. Milwaukee fans. Yep. Hey, you want south side dives. Oh, let's tell them about Roman's Pub. Oh, shit. Roman's. Another Milwaukee. See, we're going to try it. This is going to be the travel channel. We're going to get people to come to Milwaukee. Close your eyes. Hold your breath. Make a wish. Count to three. Get ready for the story about Mike Roman. Mike Roman. Yeah, I don't know if that's really it. All right, well, we'll talk about it. Mike Roman is about as grumpy and shitty to his customers as anyone else is. He's probably 55, 60-ish? Probably 60. And he is all of 60 years of just bullshit and hate and just anger. I think he has legitimately, what, four ex-wives? Oh, easily. Yeah. Easily. This fucker, yeah, this dude is horrible. But he's the owner of this bar. For 30 years? Yeah, a long time. Mike Roman, actually, his claim to fame is he actually was years, years, years, years, I'm talking 10, 20 years ahead of the curve when it came to microbrews in bars. Before craft beer was like a household term. Right. Every bar now, I should say, has freaking 40 tappers, right? But back in the day, really what you would get, and when I say back in the day, I'm talking about, I don't know. early 2000s maybe yeah at the at the at the bare minimum but yeah it was it was you had you had few options you had at least here in wisconsin you had miller light no sorry you had high life miller light mgd bud light bud light and you had our local beer spotted cow which was a the first like local local micro brew outside of madison a very small town they're strictly yeah the spotted cow folks are strictly in wisconsin um so but the story's not about them the story's about mike roman because you go to romans and it was a cigar bar at the time and it's basically like a house that was converted into a bar that was actually a bar like they have pictures up on the wall that are like from like the prohibition era sure but just picture like a duplex yeah it's an old ass It's an old-ass tavern. Anyway, Mike Roman, he ended up, yeah, he had like, I don't know how many tappers he has. I'm assuming he had four pedestals with about five per. So, yeah, about 20 or 30 beers, and he had a beer menu. He was way ahead of the game. He had a big chalkboard up on the ceiling. Yes, yes. And he also sold cigars. So it was kind of cool. You can go there, smoke, drink beer. We need to still smoke inside, too. Yeah, locally we passed No Smoking Man back in 2009. Ten years ago, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, long story short, though, yeah, this curmudgeon of a dude had the only bar in town that sold the best beer in town. He was nationally recognized multiple times. And you go there, he just gives you shit. And if you order anything other than the finest brew. And it's not a shtick. He's just like, he'll stick it to you. So let me tell you this. That area is very hipster. And for those of you who are like, what the fuck's a hipster? I'm just talking about hipsters, that guy that drinks a lot of PBR because nobody else is drinking it because they think they're cool. The millennials that kind of let Sean do it. So he's in this area that is chock full of hipsters. So what you do is, as a normal-ass dude, you go to Mike Roman, you order a good beer, you sit back, and you just watch the hipsters come in. Oh, it's so fun. And talk. It's so fun. To Mike Roman. Yeah. And it's hilarious because this is how the scenario will break down. So it'll be a fun little bar atmosphere. Everyone who's in the bar knows what Mike Roman is. He is not a man. He is a machine. and you sit back because John Youssi somebody pull up on his unicycle because he's a hipster and you go all right motherfucker let's see what you got and he walks in uh bearded all with his knit cap in the middle of august and he goes yeah bro i'll take a pbr please and mike roman will go all right 12 ounce 16 ounce what do you want he goes i'll take a 12 ounce for right now and mike roman will be like yeah no problem that'll be ten dollars and he's like what it's like uh it's like three dollars everywhere else why is it ten dollars and mike's like because that's fucking ball wash and this is when the place goes silent and you all watch mike roman in his natural habitat take down a gazelle because that's what is that's what exactly what happens because he just demolishes these poor kids that come in. It's awful. Yeah. And fun. It is hilarious. There's an article you guys can see recently from, what was that, a couple months ago. This year, yeah. Yeah, a few months ago. I forgot what it was. I'll repost it. Yeah, Google Mike Roman. We'll put it up on the Facebook page. But he used the term ball wash in there because, yeah, he serves Miller like because he knows he has to because he's a business too. Yeah. But he calls it ball wash. He upcharges the shit out of it. He goes it not real beer He goes you know if you want water I just give you water It free yeah right exactly and like i said this isn like a stick or like ed de bevix or something no he just an old curmudgeon you know he's he's a cool guy you talk to him he's got stories and stuff but like if he doesn't like what you have to say or whatever he's just like yeah yeah he's pretty much the most un-pc guy yeah yeah which is great yeah he's he's old school yeah my dad goes there every once in a while my dad will be like comes in there and michael yell at my dad for something and my dad will yell back and he's like and then mike's like jesus christ george why do you even come here my dad my dad's famous line is well it feels like home the way you yell at me you know so we uh we love it oh no but he's he's a good dude but like i said just the way yeah he just tells you like it is yeah so you know we always talk about things you should see if you come to milwaukee when once again mgc guys if you guys are here or you know you're just here visiting whatever it's just look it up it's called roman's pub it's you know it's not too far no it's by the lake it's just in the heart of milwaukee and and uh it's just this cool place and uh you know you get you get a trip yeah yeah the whole experience because like it's a fucking trip if you don't see him one night and you go there the next night he'll be there yeah i mean he he's one of these guys he's been working i think he lives upstairs yeah he's there yeah he takes off a night or two a week but he's he's there most nights he's there and he's pissed yeah so yeah but that bar numerous times for you beer snobs out there and a lot of these publications it's been named like the top 100 places in the country it has many many times so it's not like we're not just making this up because we live here we like it i mean it's it's he's a dick but he's a serious brew guy yeah and he loves his beer what he does too and if this makes sense to any beer snobs out there he uh He actually has his lines, each one is individually temperature controlled. So when he works with a brewery to bring a beer in, he makes sure that it's served at the right temperature. In the right glass. In the right glass and in the right PSI. whether it be compressed air or if it's nitrogen. He will follow it to a T to make sure that that beer is poured perfectly every time as the brewer demands. So nine times out of ten, you go to a bar that has 40 tappers, they don't give a fuck. They just put it right up to the line. With Mike, though, it's very different because he temperature controls each line. So very interesting. Science. Science. Side story, which is on the same lines, though. No pun intended. Lines. So Ian, myself, and my wife were there one night. Oh, another good story. Yes. I know where this is going. Right in the old pocketbook. Yeah. It's just an average night. There's not a lot of people there. No. We're just at the bar. We're sitting at the bar just hanging out, having a good time. So Ian and I have some cash in our pockets, and we order a couple beers. I think my wife met us there or something. Well, the Southside of Milwaukee, if you're a true Southsider, you're going to take all your cash, and you're going to throw it in a pile on the bar. Oh, yeah, maybe people don't do that other places. Yeah, no, I doubt they do. No, probably not. And then the bartender will just go to your pile of cash and just pull what they need as you go on through the night. So we pull. We had like 60. Drew and I. Started with 40 or 60 bucks. Yeah, we threw a bunch of fucking. Fives and singles, whatever. We put a bunch of money in a pile. Mm-hmm. And we started drinking. Yep. And then my wife. We're going to drink this pile away. Yeah. Yes. That's how we kind of gauge our drinking. Yeah. And then my wife came and met us. And, you know, she ordered. And, you know, we're just having fun. Just like I said, there's nothing really going on. Just talking. Yeah. You're drinking and the time goes by quick, right? And the beers on average there are $5. No, they're like $9. No, they're more. Well, they're like crazy, like fucking 15%, 20% beers. But they range between $5 and $10 per beer. They're expensive. Yeah, it's not cheap beer. But anyway, so Ian and I probably had two beers, maybe three. Well, we weren't fucking lit, but we were feeling good. Yeah, because we had whatever. We were in the zone. I'll say that. We're in the zone. We probably spent between $40 and $50 at that point, between Ian and I, right? Yeah, it depends on how much money we had on the table. So let's just say, for argument's sake, we had $100 on the table. And Drew and I probably put in, we probably spent, what are you saying, $40, $50, right? Yeah, we had five beers between us at $8 a piece or something, so it was $40. And while we're doing that, Kathleen, his wife, was drinking wine. I think it was just like red wine. red wine yep and this kind of computes with you guys following along here so so she had three glasses or whatever yeah you know two or three and we looked down at some point after like three drinks and this whole pile is gone gone whoosh we're like what the fuck where'd it go i even yeah one of us said to roman like mike yeah the fuck are you charging us for why are you charging us 20 bucks for a beer he goes i'm not your wife's drinking ten dollar glasses of I'm like, just like that. We forgot about Mike. I think the ones we were drinking were, yeah, if I remember, like $6 a piece. Yeah. You know, $6.50 or whatever. We went through $100 because of your wife's wine habits. Yeah. Three rounds. It's like, we're drinking this good beer, and she has three glasses of, like, average wine. He goes, yeah, I upcharged the shit out of my wine. He told us. Yeah. It's just the same thing with the PBR story. It's like a $10 bottle of wine, and he's like, yep, I charge you $10 a glass. So all these things make sound like you shouldn't go to this place. It's fun. But you need to experience it. MGC is coming up. Yes. We will take some of you guys from MGC if you want to go. Absolutely. That would be a cool outing, actually. Yeah, we should do some bar crawling. Yeah. because um and the other cool thing we're talking about cigar bar they have the outdoor cigar place there so yeah it'll be april so if it's not snowing like last year but he has like i think it's heated and covered yeah so um yeah you can smoke cigars out on the patio it's it's it's awesome fuck it so fuck it fuck it friday fuck it friday i hope you enjoyed that episode guys i might have been too local for you but i i hope you enjoyed it well we were having fun i think uh No, we'll do a little piece on Milwaukee. Yeah, absolutely. I don't mind it. I love Milwaukee. All right, well, thank you, everybody, for listening. Episode 4 is in the books. You guys have a great day. Have a good Friday. Thanks, guys. And a great weekend. We'll see you next week. All right, bye.