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F*@kit Friday! Disney is the Devil!!!

Poor Man's Pinball Podcast·podcast_episode·analyzed·May 29, 2020
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Analysis

claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 · $0.030

TL;DR

Drew and Scott Ian condemn Disney's Star Wars sequels as creatively exhausted fan-service trash.

Summary

Drew and Scott Ian discuss their disappointment with recent Star Wars films (particularly Rise of Skywalker), criticizing Disney's approach to the franchise as fan-service-driven, repetitive, and creatively bankrupt. They praise exceptions like The Mandalorian, Rogue One, and discuss Disney's monopolistic control of entertainment IP. The episode also briefly covers The Meg, another derivative blockbuster that remakes Jaws while achieving massive box office success.

Key Claims

  • Rise of Skywalker recycles 12-15 moments from previous Star Wars films without creative justification

    medium confidence · Drew discussing specific recycled scenes including the Luke/Rey ghost scene mirroring Yoda/Luke training on Dagobah

  • The sequel trilogy (7, 8, 9) is 'terrible,' 'awful,' 'disjointed,' and driven entirely by fan service rather than coherent storytelling

    high confidence · Scott Ian's repeated statements about the trilogy's fundamental narrative failures and lack of character/villain development

  • J.J. Abrams built his career on 'dick teasing' audiences with mysteries that are never properly explained (Lost, Force Awakens, Rise of Skywalker)

    high confidence · Scott Ian's extended critique of Abrams' storytelling approach and the unexplained Palpatine reveal in Rise of Skywalker

  • Star Wars franchise is 'absolutely destroyed' and 'just done' as a creative property

    high confidence · Scott Ian's definitive statement about the franchise's creative death

  • Disney owns nearly all major entertainment properties and uses its monopolistic control to prioritize profit over creative quality

    high confidence · Both hosts discussing Disney's acquisition strategy and the 'pie chart' of Disney's entertainment holdings

  • The Mandalorian Season 2 will become 'Disney-fied' as the network exerts control and adds fan-service elements like Boba Fett

    medium confidence · Drew predicting Season 2 will deteriorate due to Disney inserting fan-demanded characters and removing the series' original identity

  • The Meg (2018) remakes Jaws scene-for-scene while achieving $530 million worldwide box office

    high confidence · Scott Ian noting the film's derivative nature and its massive financial success despite poor reviews

  • Rey's character arc was retroactively changed from 'nobody' to 'Palpatine' in the final film, undermining the trilogy's setup

    high confidence · Both hosts criticizing the decision to make Rey a Palpatine descendant at the end of Rise of Skywalker

Notable Quotes

  • “It's just fan service. Yeah, the story's the same. Just fan service. It's terrible.”

    Scott Ian — Core criticism of modern Star Wars approach—service to nostalgia over narrative coherence

  • “That's what J.J. is. He's just a fucking dick tease in that way. He gives you a bunch of shit, throws a lot at you, doesn't answer a goddamn thing, and then when it comes time, okay, J.J., wrap it up. Tell us what all this means.”

    Scott Ian — Explains the fundamental criticism of Abrams' storytelling methodology across multiple franchises

  • “The Star Wars franchise is destroyed. It's absolutely destroyed. It's just done.”

    Scott Ian — Definitive statement on the current state of the IP

  • “Mickey Mouse is gonna stick his big Dick White glove up his butt and say, yep, you're mine now. You're my puppet.”

    Drew — Colorful metaphor for Disney's acquisition and control strategy

  • “They didn't explain shit. No, that's the problem. No, I get it. Because J.J. Abrams never explains shit.”

    Scott Ian — Summarizes the Snoke/Palpatine clone contradiction that exemplifies the film's narrative laziness

  • “Plot doesn't matter. This is me doing the money machine. Yeah, they're just cranking out points of money.”

    Scott Ian — Cynical but explicit statement about modern blockbuster priorities

  • “The Mandalorian was good because they don't do the Star Wars tropes... it was more of its own little thing. It was like a little western vibe mercenary.”

    Scott Ian — Identifies what works in Star Wars: original ideas that escape franchise conventions

  • “I don't know what's cool about that one is they don't do the Star Wars tropes... that's exactly why that movie is cool.”

    Drew — Agrees that departing from tropes (Rogue One) produces better results

Entities

DrewpersonScott IanpersonChristopher FranchipersonJ.J. AbramspersonRyan JohnsonpersonGeorge LucaspersonDaisy RidleypersonJohn BoyegapersonOscar Isaacperson

Signals

  • ?

    business_signal: Disney's acquisition of major entertainment franchises (Star Wars, Marvel, ESPN, ABC) represents monopolistic control that prioritizes profit extraction over creative quality; hosts cite this as structural problem enabling mediocrity

    high · Extensive discussion of Disney pie chart of holdings; metaphor about 'Mickey Mouse's Dick White glove'; observation that plot doesn't matter when money is guaranteed

  • ?

    community_signal: Poor Man's Pinball Podcast records 'Fuck It Friday' episodes immediately after main Wednesday episodes, filmed on same evening; community references to Christopher Franchi interview suggest engaged audience following content closely

    high · Opening explanation: 'we filmed this directly after our poor man's pinball episode'; multiple mentions of recent Christopher Franchi guest appearance

  • ~

    sentiment_shift: Scott Ian identifies that the sequel trilogy fundamentally failed to tell a coherent overarching story with character arcs, villain development, or linear narrative progression, unlike original and prequel trilogies

    high · Extended discussion of narrative structure comparing sequel trilogy unfavorably to other trilogies on storytelling grounds

  • ?

    design_philosophy: Rise of Skywalker recycles 12-15 specific moments from previous Star Wars films without creative justification; examples include Luke/Rey ghost scene mirroring Yoda/Luke on Dagobah, X-wing raising paralleling Empire Strikes Back

    high · Drew lists concrete recycled scenes and Scott Ian confirms pattern of fan service over originality

  • ?

Transcript

groq_whisper · $0.114

0:00
Cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do. You're just in time for the after party that is Fuck It Friday, starring Drew and Ian.
0:18
And it's Fuck It Friday time, your favorite time of the week, I don't know, Fridays? The week, the month, this time. You look forward to it, we're here, it's Fuck It Friday. um we just had chris franchi on what a stud that was awesome i love that man he's like the coolest we had so much fun with franchi for wednesday and now it's friday and we're still talking about it yes well it's the same night don't don't lift up the curtain for those of you who don't know i maybe it would make more sense if people understood we filmed this directly after our poor man's pinball episode so yeah we're usually tore up we're usually lit up we we feel good we're warm in the face i've been sweating this whole night i don't know i think it was all this working out and this nice weather that was awesome it's great great day great great weekend oh i miss i miss memorial day weekend already all right so fucking friday recorded on a monday recorded on a monday way to ruin the magic for everybody the magic is destroyed yeah but but we're talking about some movies yeah we're gonna do a little movie review yeah what the hell sure do you want to start us off brother yeah so i find you know me being a big star wars fan um you know covid been busy lots of stuff going on i just hadn't gotten around to seeing episode nine rise of skywalker so you know watched all the other ones obviously and we have awesome yeah your cap's rolling away ian just dropped a cap from his booze it rolled all the way across the floor my body cap i'll see that one back i guess i have to drink this whole bottle guess guess so um easiest way that would be the the sane way right um so anyways uh we have disney plus i recommend it to everyone i've told people that it's fucking cool so rise of skywalker just got put on disney plus so i'm like fucking awesome so the other day wife goes to bed i'm like yep i'm I'm going to sit down and watch it.
2:26
Okay, here's the thing. Stand-alone movie, if you can put it in a vacuum and you're like, hey, this is a space movie about space shit, whatever, it's good. It's a good story. It's got a good plot. It's got some humor. It's got this and that. But when you put it together with the Star Wars saga, it's just they recycled a lot of great stuff from other movies, which is fine, other Star Wars movies, but that's not creative writing, in my opinion. Am I missing something? Like here.
Jeremy Bullockperson
Samuel L. Jacksonperson
Donald Gloverperson
Jason Stathamperson
Disneycompany
Star Wars franchiseproduct
The Mandalorianproduct
Rogue Oneproduct
The Last Jedi (Episode VIII)product
The Force Awakens (Episode VII)product
Rise of Skywalker (Episode IX)product
The Megproduct
Marvelcompany
Lostproduct

design_philosophy: The Mandalorian originally succeeded by avoiding Star Wars tropes and establishing its own identity as 'a little western vibe mercenary' story; Season 2 expected to lose this distinctiveness through Disney fan-service additions

high · Both hosts praise original approach; Drew predicts deterioration due to Boba Fett insertion and Disney interference

  • $

    market_signal: The Meg (2018) achieved $530 million worldwide box office despite being critically panned as Jaws scene-for-scene remake; demonstrates audience will pay for derivative blockbuster content regardless of quality

    high · Scott Ian: 'They reenact Jaws from like start to finish almost... 530 million worldwide that's really good that's ridiculous for this terrible movie'

  • ?

    community_signal: Implication that Christopher Franchi's recent appearance as guest on Poor Man's Pinball Podcast represents significant community engagement; context from KB suggests Franchi recently transitioned to Spooky Pinball as lead artist

    medium · Hosts' enthusiastic response to Franchi interview and repeated references to it as recent highlight content

  • ?

    personnel_signal: Christopher Franchi was recent guest on Poor Man's Pinball Podcast Wednesday episode; described enthusiastically by hosts as 'a stud' and 'the coolest'

    high · Opening segment: 'we just had Christopher Franchi on what a stud that was awesome i love that man he's like the coolest'

  • ~

    sentiment_shift: Hosts report major negative sentiment shift toward Star Wars post-Rise of Skywalker; Scott Ian explicitly states he will no longer pay to see Star Wars films in theaters, reversing a decade-long pattern

    high · Scott Ian: 'never again they're not getting any more'; Drew acknowledging this represents change from previous viewing habit

    • 3:03
    So, yeah, Ian and I talked about this a little bit. I'm going to try to remember some examples. I'm not great at storytelling, as you guys know, and I'm not great at recalling a lot of facts. I make up facts as I go along. But the one scene, so you know the ghost of luke skywalker is talking to ray so to me that was like you know uh yoda training uh luke on dagobah right and then what does he do at the end he raises up the x-wing for her you know so she can get back and i'm like okay so this is the scene from empire strikes back when he's on dagobah and then and there was just like i don't know if i had to guess probably 12 or 15 moments like that and i'm like once again a cool moment but this was done before uh what was that scene we were talking about where the spaceship's flying away oh like the kessel run people were saying that was solo yeah it was like they stole it from so yeah yeah well yeah so you know just just all the scenes the only thing that was different in this movie they had horses at one point i don't want to spoil for anybody that was kind of unique and weird at the same time when the horses came out forgot about that yeah i was like wow it's been a while i saw it in the theater um so what what is your take oh i was pissed off yeah i was pissed off i thought it was the see people are gonna see i'm a little different though i know i'm in the minority but i actually liked the oh what was the second one called um uh last jedi the last i actually really liked it only because yeah the only reason why i really liked it was because he kind of took all the star wars tropes and all these things that star wars like has been recycling for the last fucking 20 years you had the original trilogy right and it was really really good and then george lucas writes the prequels and you know some of the younger generation really like them but as a fan of the original trilogy i hated them i couldn't stand them plus they they also ripped off a lot of stuff from the original trilogy i mean a lot of things got ripped off and george just says oh it's like poetry it rhymes it rhymes no motherfucker you were just ripping off the same shit sure to sell more toys and that's all it is and so with with that being said when this new trilogy came up and george lucas wasn't going to be involved i was actually really excited because I thought, okay, maybe this is a chance to get rid of the Star Wars tropes and that silliness about it rhyming. And just create something unique and original. And then they came out with The Force Awakens, which was a complete clone of A New Hope.
    5:49
    I hated it. The only thing I really, really liked about that first one was because that cast had potential. I really, really liked Rey. I like Daisy Ridley as an actor and actress. finn um that's cool he he um um played by um oh jesus bordega yes yes john bodega i didn't say that right borriega i think um yeah daisy ridley john boyega boyega and uh oscar isaac who played poe oh yeah i absolutely love those guys i love their dynamic yeah i liked I like BB-8. I thought that was a really cool, different, unique robot. And it makes sense to have an RTD2 go from this big trash can looking thing to something a little bit more smaller, sleek. A little robust that can move around. Let me get this out before I forget, though. It was just a small moment, but I was like, huh, it's about time. Has there been another moment in Star Wars lore where one of the heroes actually got shot by a blaster. They actually got struck by a blaster. Yeah, Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi.
    7:02
    Did she have a wound? Yeah, she got shot in the shoulder at Endor. Okay, I was trying to think. In the middle of this one, Poe got shot. Yeah, Chewie got shot too.
    7:15
    Didn't he get shot in the last... See, I was trying to recall that. I couldn't think. There weren't a lot of moments. I get what you're getting there. There's always the big joke about how they miss, and when he hit them, I was like, oh, they finally got them after so many years. Because there's been a lot of lightsaber wounds and stuff, but I didn't think there was a lot of blaster wounds. Yeah, there's a few. Okay. There's a few. See, you couldn't even remember, so go ahead. I did. I just told you. But you said, was there? Princess Leia, Endor. Yeah, Chewie got shot. He definitely got shot. um anyway just back to my original point was okay so so i didn't really i liked the cast but the movie was a clone and i didn't care for it so you know ryan johnson comes up with the last jedi or whatever and i really really liked it because they took all those tropes and he turned them all on their head and of course the fanboys lost their shit and they thought it's the worst movie of all but I really, really, really did enjoy that one. And then, to my surprise, when I left the theater, I all pumped up about Star Wars again. I go online, and everyone just crushed me. So I know better. I know people hate it. I get it. So I didn't really know what to expect from Star Wars Rise of Skywalker. I know J.J. Abrams was back, and I was worried that it would be a lot of rehashed, a lot of recycled shit. And it was. I didn't realize how much he was going to recycle. I'm okay like anyone. I love nostalgia. That was the thing about Force Awakens. We've talked about this.
    8:48
    I like some of those moments because it's like, yeah, they're bringing us all the way back to the beginning, which is fine. Nostalgia, which is good. But like you said, if you're just doing that every scene and you're like, yep, this is like that scene and this is like that scene. Just fan service. Yeah, the story's the same. Just a fan BJ. It's terrible. So, okay, you liked Episode 8, but 7, 8, and 9 as a whole, just not a great trilogy. Oh, it's terrible. It's awful. It's disjointed.
    9:14
    It's fan service-y. They didn't even tell a very good story. I mean, really, what did we get the story of? What was the epic grand story of that whole thing But how can we say it just like the other ones that are good but it sucks You know what I mean No no no no no So the original trilogy was a cohesive story Agreed. Even the prequels, as badly directed as they were. The story went in some sort of order. The story was linear. There was a story to it. You had arcs. You had character arcs and development. you had um you know you had an overall over overarching enemy a bad guy you were introduced in the first episode and then it comes to fruition in episode three you have this whole arc the you know original trilogy you have you're introduced to the villains in the very first one and they're menacing this is why the original trilogy is so good because the enemy is so powerful and you feel like you're part of this rebel resistance you feel like you are fighting this bigger larger intergalactic empire right and and it's it's this overarching amazing thing and you know then they showed us the prequels and yeah they try to get there did they do a good job it was a lot of cgi it was hard to really get your the feels from a lot of fake ass robots getting chopped up i don't know about you guys but i didn't care too much about it it's like watching cartoons and then this third trilogy like they fucked everything up like the the bad guys the villains the only thing that was consistent was hucks and the first order and then even then hucks got all fucking screwy at the end i'm on your side but not really and it was like oh dude fuck off this is it this is this is the great turning moment and then and then the first order okay can we just say it's like the empire or whatever but you mean to tell me this entire galactic battle they've had about 50 star destroyers fully staffed just sitting in some yeah sith planet just waiting to be released as the final order you didn't even hint to that if you were gonna hint to that that did kind of come out you got everything came out of left field if you're gonna hint that the emperor was alive palpatine was alive you had to hint that you can't just drop that on the very last movie it was me the whole time it's awful it's lazy right it's a bad movie it's a bad end of that series and there was no fixing it after the force awakens i'm gonna give jj the the blame 100 because the force awakens movie i mean the the first and the last one were and the reason why i give him the 100 of the blame is because the force awakens they introduced us to kylo ren but they hinted at larger forces at work with Snoke and the Knights of Ren. Yeah. And there were some positive things, but there wasn't enough. And J.J. built a whole career of giving us some stuff, but not enough. And that's why Lost, that TV series. That's why Lost was so popular. Lost was one of the biggest dick teases on TV ever. And that's what J.J. is. He's just a fucking dick tease in that way. He gives you a bunch of shit, throws a lot at you, doesn't answer a goddamn thing, and then when it comes time, okay, J.J., wrap it up. Tell us what all this means. You teased it all in the first movie. And J.J.'s like, Palpatine, bro.
    12:56
    You just made that up, J.J. Yeah, dude, it's Palpatine the whole time. He made like eight Snokes. Stop making shit up.
    13:04
    That's not true. If you're going to clone Snoke, why clone him all fucked up? Why do you have like a missing parts of his head? Yeah, that's true. Why would you do that? That makes no sense. Make him super powerful. And how could you make clones that are like force sensitive? Like super powerful with the force?
    13:20
    Is he part of Palpatine, but he doesn't look like Palpatine? Is it a clone of Palpatine, but not really? They didn't explain it very well. No, that's the problem. No, I get it. Because J.J. Abrams never explains shit. And I didn't even think about that part. now i'm like yeah they they didn't explain shit no no and then and then who are all these fucking people in these star destroyers and why why in the first movie did they have to build a death killing laser planet here's a whole planet that can kill planets right yeah yeah you know this whole planet is one big death star right it's a bigger death star which is their joke which is funny but now all of a sudden two movies later every star destroyer has the ability to destroy a planet you kidding me you're joking me you got that planet-sized technology you said he can make it up so yes he just makes shit up each one can destroy a planet but here's the thing so so star wars worked up is it yeah you are that's i'm trying to cut you off here you got to settle down for a second. Star Wars is one of the first, it is the first of its kind in the sense that it's almost 50 years later since the first Star Wars, right? You know, we're at what, 43 years. Okay. So 43 years ago, Star Wars came out. So this, this franchise, I mean, when Star Wars came out, there wasn't such a thing as a franchise, right? There were no franchise movies. That wasn't a thing star wars is the first franchise movie and what does that mean well 43 years later they're still trying to write the stories from franchises what are you talking about oh yeah franchise movies yes universal monsters from like the 30s and 40s that's a whole franchise don't roll your eyes you asked if there's a franchise they weren't they were they were loosely related but they weren't doing what they're doing today with the stories and the You just asked if there was franchise. There was 100% franchises that made a ton of money back in the day. So Universal Monsters. The only thing Star Wars did that was different was learn how to capture models to look like they were flying in space. That's all they did different. And they did lasers. That's it. And lasers. Yeah. It was the technology that captured everyone. Yeah. That's why they started with Episode IV because they didn't think that was even going to be enough to be a franchise. No, I know. That was, well, yeah, it was just like, hey, here's his, it was a low-budget movie. Well, lower budget. It wasn't until he made all the money on the toys where he was able to make two more movies. And then even then, he threw away all of his original scripts because he didn't have enough new toys. So he had to rewrite everything for more toys. You just said it right there. You know, the story matters less and less.
    16:03
    And the, because every time, we were talking about this the other day, too. every time a new Star Wars movie comes out, you're going to go see it, regardless of how bad everyone says it is. Right?
    16:14
    Not anymore. Yes, you are. Not anymore. Yes, you are. I told you this with Marvel movies, and I haven't seen a Marvel movie since the second Avengers movie. We talked about that maybe like a year ago, and you were like, yeah, I'm done. I'm not going to spend money on that shit. So what was the last Marvel movie you saw? The Avengers, second one. Second Avengers movie. But you don't watch them at home? You don't watch them at home? I watch them at home, but I... Okay.
    16:36
    I don't pay for them. Edit, edit, edit. Nah, it's fine. The FBI is listening. I don't care. No, I watch them at home, too. I watch them on, yeah, Disney, or I watch them on, you know, Hulu, Netflix, whatever, wherever I can find them. But, yeah, I don't know. I just think, once again, though, there's a lot of people. They're just going to keep making money, and we can bitch all we want, and they're just going to suck. It doesn't matter. Yeah. But what's your point? The point is the movie sucks. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. They'll probably continue to suck. Oh, yeah. The Star Wars franchise is destroyed. It's absolutely destroyed. It's just done. I mean, seriously. Well, The Mandalorian was good. The Mandalorian was really good. You know, if they can get writers to kind of work on and develop that. Rogue One, we talked about. I like Rogue One. See, the funny thing about Rogue One was when that came out, nobody liked it. Everyone thought it was the shittiest movie. I don't know why. And then it was like. I liked it the first time I saw it. I liked it, too. people were bitching about how oh man it's like someone just playing with his toys in a sandbox i'm like that's why it's so fucking cool sorry that's exactly why that movie is cool now with the mandalorian what's cool about that one is they don't do the star wars tropes you know that was it was more of a its own little thing it was like a little western vibe mercenary yeah they lost they lost that a bit characters they lost that a bit in the middle of the series i'll admit it was a little eh in the middle. That's like anything. They should do like four or five episodes and call it good, but they want to do ten or twelve.
    18:08
    Maybe there was points. Maybe there's things and maybe the writing just wasn't as strong. Maybe they used different directors and stuff. Maybe the direction wasn't great. There could have been a lot of different things. What was wrong with that? But at the end of the game day, it was a really good series. But with season two now it's i feel like it's getting more and more disney'd because every announcement have you heard about season two no i i tried not to so the guy i'm gonna spoil no no i don't care these are released already people this has been on the news feeds forever but um they already announced casting for boba fett it gonna be the guy who played jango fett in the prequels oh yeah uh what the hell was that guy name i don know the dark skin guy yeah it doesn matter He not my Boba Fett See I grew up with the other Boba Fett
    19:01
    Jeremy Bullock. Yes. Yeah. That was Boba Fett, not this other guy. I don't know this guy. No one grew up with Boba Fett. He barely talked. He died right away, and he became a legend. But no, now it's like Disney's like, oh, you did good. Let me get my greasy little fingers and see how I can fuck with this. Yeah. So we've got to put Boba Fett in there because that's what the fans want. And then they put a couple of Jedis from the animated series in there. You don't think putting Boba Fett in there is appropriate? No.
    19:31
    Boba Fett died. Here's the other thing. They keep bringing these fuckers back. Darth Maul's alive. Palpatine's alive because the fans want to see it. Nobody actually dies in Star Wars. They just come back. Is Mace Windu going to come back? he's not dead yet no he will come back if samuel when does the malandalorian take place like after return of the jedi before uh the yeah right after return of the jedi and before the force awakens wait wait so yeah i guess i didn't give that much thought so the imperial boba fett's alive yeah we're just gonna go yep he he survived the sire like pit people rejoice all the fans go yay and i'm like fuck that's another guy that should have been dead but isn't that do you think they're gonna address that they're gonna make a joke oh yeah he's gonna he's gonna tell his tale about how he climbed out of there and or they're just gonna show it you know like the sarlacc pit all of a sudden blows up and he comes walking out badass mandalorian's gonna say oh i thought you died in the sarlacc pit you're like no bro let me tell you what happened here and you know what they're gonna do they're gonna make the mistake right they're gonna make the mistake they're gonna make that story epic about how he blew it up or he killed it or he crawled out and he was a badass but how'd you get in there bro you couldn't stop a blind han solo you chubaca was busy luke skywalker just hits you in your jack but your jet pack and you just flew into the damn thing like oh wait you crash into the sail barge and Then you fell in. Yeah. Boom. Three stooges. You, bro, don't come out of there thinking you're a badass. You should have came out of there and retired as a body hunter going, maybe I'm not any good at this shit. That's how he should have came out of there. But no, they're going to come out. He's going to come out. He's going to be a badass. And he's going to do all sorts of good. He's going to be invincible in the series. And Baby Yoda is going to play a huge part, obviously. And you know the Mandalorian. And the reason why he was so cool was because he got his ass kicked a lot. He was like Indiana Jones. He gets his ass kicked, but he wins in the end.
    21:45
    They're going to fuck it up. I just know they're going to fuck it up. He was a badass fighter, but he wasn't invincible. Yeah, Jawas beat the shit out of him. Jawas beat the shit out of him, and that was great. That was one of the best scenes. Yeah. It was hilarious. No, agreed. I just uh and and they're showing like he's got a little bit of heart the thing with baby yoda's kind of cool his relationship with him as it grew yeah that's good that's character development like we need more of them no I agree I I uh I really did enjoy watching that and then you're right but it's gonna it's gonna turn into what do you say Disney-fied oh Disney's gonna put their little dirty fingers in it now they're like oh we got a hit now step aside Mickey Mouse is gonna stick his a big white glove up his butt and say, yep, you're mine now. You're my puppet. Now I'm going to put in all the stuff the fans want, because I read the message board. I'm going to make so much money. That South Park episode where Mickey Mouse plays, he's like the leader of Disney. And he talks the same way like Mickey Mouse, but he's always like, I'll just fucking kill you.
    22:49
    If you haven't checked it out, it's pretty funny, because it's about that. They're talking about how Disney's taking over yeah and yeah mickey mouse he's like i say he's exactly mickey mouse but he's like this dictator about how he runs disney oh mickey mouse yeah but it's it's true though i mean uh did we did we ever go through that uh what disney owns on on one of these fucking fridays did you ever see that graph that pie chart yeah they own everything i thought they assume they own everything it is insane i mean you know everyone's price doesn't go up though no it is weird but everyone knows like you know they own like espn and abc but then it just keeps branching out and they own yeah like yeah and then you know then of course they bought marvel and then they bought you know star wars and all this shit and it's like every entertainment property now is disney pixar you know there's not much that is not disney right now they gobble things up yeah It is insane. You're like, oh, what about this? Well, this movie's part of Disney. This movie's part of Disney. I will say one thing, though. Disney does do a good job with the Marvel movies. I know I said that I don't go see them anymore, but there's a reason I don't spend money in the theater to see Disney movies or the Marvel movies is just because it's a formula. There's too many of them, but I agree. But there's a formula, right? You introduce the hero, and then there's the bad guy. But that's comics, though. I understand. I understand that, but it's still, the plots are just, I get it. You're basing them off comics, but it doesn't mean you can't have a good plot. True. You know? Anyway, regardless, they do a good job on the Marvel movie. Well, once again, plot doesn't matter.
    24:39
    This is me doing the money machine. Yeah, they're just cranking out points of money. Yeah. I get it. It's just like, hey.
    24:46
    Who do you want to see? Oh, okay, we'll make a movie out of it. Yeah, exactly. when they start they start picking characters and then someone like john favreau says no i want to do this and they're like well i own you too so no you're not doing that you're doing this because you know it's just it's just the way it works yeah but yeah i get it man um i don't know but yeah the new star wars movie it was just god it was it was it was hot garbage man it was a dumpster i mean this is the first one i didn't go like see ian and i for the last decade we'd go shit we talk about we saw the Phantom Menace in 3D because it's just like it's Star Wars let's go see this yeah but this one I was just like yeah I'll check it out which I did but no after the last one you know it was okay I said there were a couple moments in Force Awakens but that trilogy as a whole I mean you know in each trilogy I have several things I like but in this trilogy I have less than several things you know i have just a couple yeah you know it's like the first trilogy you know you pick out 20 things you like then you got a couple cheesy moments and you got whatever the second trilogy it's like yeah there's a few things i'm like that's pretty cool because you know they had more technology and they were able to do some cool shit but but the story is like yeah and then this one's like i don't know all over the place yeah there's i don't know what how do you feel about ray being a palpatine or you know the whole thing was a skywalker are you skywalker you are you a kenobi are you a palpatine why couldn't she just be fucking ray why couldn't she was the whole trilogy until the end at the end she's like she was supposed to be a nobody and then she turned into a palpatine did now i hate that now hang on when here's how predictable it is and like i said i don't even get hung up on this stuff but this one i will towards the end there and when that woman asked her you know who are you and i was like she's gonna say skywalker she's gonna say it i know she is and she said it and i was like ah she fucking said it well it doesn't the movie is called rise of skywalker well there's that yeah but even so like in episode eight i was gonna say at some point she's gonna become a skywalker you know like it's just it's just the way it is yeah you know you got luke you got leia i just wish her parents were nobodies it would it would have been so much easier just the force isn't like oh well you're uh the force it was explained it's an all-living matter right between you me the ground well jj abrams explained it again in a different way and everybody is force sensitive to certain levels of palpatine yeah yeah dude if you're really strong you're it's probably one of three people that are your father you know you're like what why is it only three people yeah it's the only well it's because it's based on a movie and we only had these three people that were really powerful at the force so you had to be one of those three sorry no it's um it's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard so stupid nope i um you know me i'm i'm amicable i like a lot of things i was like yeah i can i can do without this movie yeah no i was pretty pissed when i left the theater i was like ah god damn it so never again they're not getting any more i'm on my i didn't even like solo all that much but solo was like i knew what i was getting into yeah i like solo for um i'm a donald glover fan that was kind of cool seeing him as as lando young lando yeah that was neat but it was like fucking a machine at the time it weird yeah so it weird Yeah I don know And once again Rogue One it fine Better than fine Pretty good Star Wars has got that thing too where they need to explain shit Like, oh, well, why does that one scene see three people? It's like, oh, I don't know. Where your vehicle learn to communicate? You know, talking about the Falcon. Yeah. So we have a whole fucking movie dedicated to that robot being uploaded into Falcon. Sure. that's who he's talking to in Empire Strikes Back. I don't know.
    28:54
    Disgusting. What else do you want to talk about today? That's enough about Star Wars. Alright, thank you. We'll move past that one. Alright, so I watched a movie the other day and it was called The Meg. Megalodon with Jason Statham.
    29:07
    It came out last year. Megalodon? The Meg. M-E-G. The Meg. It's way cooler than The Megalodon. Are you IMBD-ing it? It doesn't even show up. MAG? MEG. Oh, EG. Yeah, MEG. 2018 film. God damn it, MEG.
    29:28
    Yeah, 2018. Yep, Jason Statham. Yeah, this is a movie that they had this really cool underwater observatory science thing, And then they have this thing where the Mariana Trench, which is supposedly the deepest part of the known world, as we say today, like it's the deepest part of the ocean, meaning it's the deepest we have naturally occurring into our earth. Sure, sure. Well, their whole thing was there's something deeper, and it's like this phosphorus underwater cloud that covers it. So they were able to go underneath this cloud, and apparently a bunch of fucking megalodons live there.
    30:25
    A bunch of other different sea life, too. It seemed very, very full of life. But anyway, moving past it, this is basically a giant shark attack movie again. Big shark, big prehistoric 20-million-year-old shark. I don't know if he's 20 million years old, but there has to be multiple megalodons down there because they have to breed, right? And these things are like, they make Jaws look like a baby. Oh, of course they do. It's funny, though. You know, these giant sharks make Jaws look like a baby, yet why do they copy up every scene from Jaws in this movie? They reenact Jaws from, like, start to finish almost. we just talked about how it's good for the money and i'm sorry i'm on the wikipedia page yep 530 million worldwide that's pretty good that's ridiculous for this terrible movie yeah and here's my favorite um you know some some described as entertaining and others calling it neither good enough nor bad enough to be fun so it's just okay that's what it is that's no that's 100 because you have to actually go into this and this is how my wife and i approached it we knew the meg was going to be ridiculous and we were just going to go for a fun stupid brainless ride and they tried too hard to make it like not ridiculous they tried to make it was like i was expecting sharknado but i got like part jaws and part sharknado so this thing really lived years ago apparently a megalodon is a real yeah when i knew what extinct 20 million years ago Yeah, it says 23 to 3.6 million years ago. Oh, shit. Weird. Okay. But they have teeth and jaws and shit of fossils found, and they're the size of people. Average length, 34 feet.
    32:17
    That's bigger than this room. I thought in the movie they said 70-something feet. Well, here, that says average. Maximum length, almost 60. Yeah, that's big.
    32:29
    Wow. Do they have, yeah, do you see any pictures of, like, the teeth and shit? Yeah, they're talking about, wow, they're. Are you on Wikipedia? Yeah. On the very, to the left, if you scroll down a little bit, the red box, there's a big-ass tooth next to, like, normal shark teeth. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, the thing is a disaster. So if you guys can pick a normal shark tooth that you'd see, like, on a necklace, this is literally 20 times the size of that. Yeah, if you scroll down even further to the right, there's a guy holding a megalodon tooth, and he's got two hands to hold it. That's how big this thing is. Yeah, it's like the size of my cat, and this is one tooth. That's a tooth, and apparently, just like other sharks, had two rows of these things. Jesus. Pretty impressive animal, but the movie wasn't so impressive. But it's fun if you get really, really high, I'm sure, and have a marijuana cigarette like our buddy Orbital Albert, and enjoy terrible movies. This might be up your alley, but, oh, boy, it was a mess. But the Megalodon shark itself, if it was alive today, yeah, dude, it would be a force to be reckoned with. Well, 50 feet. You could bite a whale in half. Yeah, that's just crazy.
    33:46
    Damn, God damn, giant sharks. That's why water is fucking freaky, man. It is. Everything that lives in the ocean. Don't mess with those things. Don't fuck with the ocean. The ocean wins all the time.
    34:01
    You versus the ocean. You will lose. Even when it comes to little animals swimming up your dick hole.
    34:11
    Or a big animal swallowing up your dick hole. I don't know what that means. Yeah, that's serious, Drew.
    34:20
    Alright, well let's wrap it. Megalodon, I give it, out of five cheese slices, I'll give it two. And then the Star Wars, I give Star Wars one cheese slice. That title is just terrible, The Meg. I mean, that's just awful. Actually, you know what? I do have one more thing. Go on Internet Movie Database. Okay. And then type in The Meg. And then look at the director and look at the director's credits. Oh, is that John Turtletob? Yeah, Turtletob. Did I say that right? Turtle something. I saw that on the Wikipedia page. I did not know that, obviously. Because I don't know shit about it. He's directed like, I don't know, 12 movies? 20 movies? Let's see. Look at his filmography in the very beginning there.
    35:11
    It's the most random movies you've ever seen. cast i don't know how this works here all right i'll do it then here it is sorry i couldn't find a link to click here okay john john turtle tob he has done cool runnings so yeah so he starts off in 92 with three ninjas oh we'll go all the way back it's ridiculous yep then he did cool runnings yeah they did while you were sleeping in 95 with sandra bullock that's a big difference from cool runnings to uh you know while you were sleeping phenomenon with uh john travolta and then he did national treasure in like 2004 he's the guy responsible for national treasure guys and then he did the sequel the book of Secrets, and then he did The Sorcerer's Apprentice, then he did some Rush Hour TV series, he did an episode of that, and then he did The Meg. Like, it's the most ridiculously random movies. Yeah, that is...
    36:20
    I gotta say, I love Cool Runnings. Yeah, that whole list, Cool Runnings, was definitely... I liked Three Ninjas, that was a silly movie. Yeah, yeah, Three Ninjas was neat. We were the right age for that, because we were like 10 or 11 when that thing was out. Yep, yep. That was right in our wheelhouse. Oh, geez. All right, well, that's all I had. I just wanted to share that. I just thought that was such a random amount of movies spanning from early 90s to now. Well, he's had a decent career, because obviously National Treasure and stuff has kept him busy with some royalties and stuff, so I'm sure he's... He's making plenty there. Yeah. All right, that's it. Fucking Friday, wrapping it up. We're calling it good. Wrapper. Next fucking Friday, we are going to be announcing the winner of the Stern spike system shaker motor giveaway from our friends over at Flippin' Out Pinball. So that'll be next week. Pretty excited. Send your submissions. You got three or four more days. Yep. Do it quickly. Well, actually, by the time this comes out, you won't have any more days. You won't have any zero. You'll have zero days. You have negative two days to send that in. If you hear this, it's too late. It's too late. Sorry, fuckers. You lose, buttholes. All right. Well, thank you, Drew. have a great night people you too man have a good fun rest of your weekend or your your weekend we'll see you next i'm all over the place with episode 57 oh the poor man's pinball podcast thanks guys bye guys