Hi Internet! Grills. Yo, we're done grills. Grills. Guys, we need grills. A list of grills command not working. Come on, fat horse. Jeez, okay. Raffle! Go Carmi! Please no raffle. Ben Peck shows. Dad, why isn't the snake moving? Dad. I don't know, son. have reptile dysfunction. Uh, oh my god, that's bad. Uh, internet, we're back, and it's really sweaty back here. Or hot. I'm really sweaty. Doritos! Doritos! Did you say Doritos? So, people are confused. Crystal, this is your chance, buddy. Alright. Doritos! Someone sent me a gift of, uh... Is it grills? Doritos! Oh my god, that's great. LeBron James turning into a monster. And after some commercial break, we're back. Hey, folks, welcome back. No sizzling bacon today. Keep the bacon to yourself. Oh my god. Fat Horse, good to know that Europe is back on. Well, Crystal won. Nicely done, buddy. Wait, was that ball three? I don't know. I think so. It had to have been. Shoot, ramp, or raffle. Yep, nicely done, buddy. Yes! Crystal light. E3 hates pinball, so I hate E3. You know what? I am sad that there is no real, like, there are no pinball companies at E3 right now. What the crap is that? Or is there? Is Stern at E3 right now? I'm sweating my ding-dongs off right here. Cool. It's my turn. Your turn. I know. I'm just putting you in. Can you put me in? Hold on. Hold on. Put me in. Yes. Thank you. Okay, go. Kill it. Go. Come here, go. Okay. Three toes. Three toes. Yummy and delicious. What the hell was that? Excuse me? Yummy and delicious. Yep. Delicious. Yep. Whoa, Viagra. Oh, I hit that target, man. Oh, see? Well, you're breaking it. It's not working anymore, Jack. Oh, it'll work. Mm-mm. You gotta graze it. I've hit it like four times. Internet, you may just... Okay, there we go. Sorry, Internet. I didn't mean to bring you into this. Gotta graze it. Nah, nah. ABCDE, do you have this table? That is a good question. Okay. Thanks. What? What's happening? I don't know. What's up there? Does anyone have this game? No one has this game. We have the only one. We have the only Simpsons Data East in existence. in captivity. Don't tilt. Holy crap, it didn't tilt. What the fart. You got lucky this time, Danger. You got lucky this time, Danger. Son of a ding-dong. Boners! Hey you know what? You don't hear any Marge or any Lisa in this table. Nope, it's only Homer and Bart. And Krusty. Is that your impersonation of Krusty the Laugh-Fest? It gave you a few extra points. You're welcome. Oh, man. I wonder why the internet freaked out. That was so weird. Yeah, it was weird. Did you touch the internet again? Yummy and delicious. Nailed it. Mom says dinner's ready. Son of a... Alright, sis, I'll be there in a bit. Lock the pool, man! What the hell was that? Just don't drain and I'm solid gold. Bounce. I love you. Every time I trust that flipper. Oh god, what have I done? No good, girl. I cannot find the shot. Yeah, I need that, but a little further to the left. Oh, too far. Yes, go in. Eww, filthy. What was I thinking? What was I thinking? I had two dangers already. Oh, I got some work to do. Slingshot hits. Unnecessary again, Jackie. Anyway. How do you know my mom's this way? Martin's out bowling tonight. They didn't sound like this. And Lisa was being a vegetarian. Yep. Oh, Lisa. Don't make friends with salad. You don't make friends with salad. That's a lock. You're actually done. Plungerino. Who was that girl that was there yesterday? That was Laura. That was Laura. She's great. She's cooking. She's an archaeologist, an anthropologist, an ophthalmologist, and a cardiologist. Kevin, is she a pinball-ologist? And a pimpetologist. Love you. Yes, Owl, this game is as bad as I remember. That was dope as fuck. Donate to kids. Okay. The middle pin target. They get to hit for the locks. Oh, you played a bunch of pinballs. Hell yeah. Primitive pinball. Welcome to the league, brother. You're amazing! Can I get some flippers up for primitive pinball, please? Thank you very much. Is that the jackpot? I don't know what you did, but I think you just made a lot of money. You did collect the jackpot. You did. You have four million now. Everybody out. You had a hill to climb, darling, and you climbed it. Laura is still in high school, yes. She doesn't put her hair up. What's because you put your hair up? I got better. See what I was doing. That's a thing? Well, yeah. I don't like it in that area. Oh, the luck. The luck of the Irish. I had more luck. The luck of the Irish, I had more luck. Live, please. Thank you. Back to level one. Never saw that one before. Yeah, that was weird. Oh, my God. Why is this not cooperating? I'm unable to shoot the Locorino. All right, let's get this. Nope. nope can't find it guys yep nope that's a goner oh and I got it in the freaking lock you jerk what game will be broadcast next week uh ZZ Top I don't know until the day of man honestly I think Crystal took that one Come on, what the hell's going on? Oh yeah, Crystal took it. Bam, bam, bam. Biddley, biddley, biddley, biddley. Greed Patrol, have you played the Nightmare on Elm Street table? Because it is crazy. There's like a really awesome Freddy Krueger claw that comes out to stop the ball from draining down the middle that you have control of. It's pretty rad. Save time, just stick with Simpsons for the rest of the month. No, please. Please, no. Primitive, my man. Thank you for the subscribe, dude. That's really freaking awesome. I can't thank you enough. Folks, we are 34 subscribers away from two more emoticons. And that will be the Everybody Out of the Pool, which I have concepted and we're ready for. and then I don't eat to kids, which I'm still trying to figure out, but we're close. We're close. Crystal, good win, buddy. You brought me a beer and a cup? Yeah, it's a solemn oath. Here, cheers, buddy. Subtle milf? Subtle milf. We're drinking a subtle milf. No, it's solemn oath. Oh, solemn oath. Okay. Well, start us off, buddy. Oh, you know this milk. Oh, it tastes like Twizzlers. A long, long time ago. That's how I... For Pete's sake. Oh, come on, Crystal. I thought you'd put me in. This is like the two times that I tried to smoke a cigarette backwards. Champion. Oh, that's how it works. Yeah, DTK should be a piggy bank with DTK on it. I think that works. The crystal. Knock up, baby, knock up. Ooh, that post. This guy? She's playing angry. Folks, I know you want some really awesome, cool emoticons to show all your friends that you like and understand pinball. You know, subscribe if you want. It is what it is. You'll have my undying love and affection. Also, I'm pretty sure it makes you the sexiest person alive. I'm almost certain. It's just science, guys. It's just, it's science. Crap. Farts. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! I'm laughing so hard, so can you repeat that? You're drinking what? It's a subtle milf. Who you love? Do it! Do it! Oh! Woo-hoo! Who you love? You still haven't gotten into Twitch yet? Makes you the sexiest person alive because this emote flip deal. Yeah, baby. You're talking about me? Well, not me, but... No, I mean, yeah, you, you. If you're a subscriber, you're the sexiest person alive. What? Subtle. Subtle, guys. Subtle milk. Subtle milk. It tastes a little... Like licorice. A little lotion-y and it smells like FDS spray. Cool. Yeah. Recommended. Subtle milk. Highly recommended. Highly recommended. It's been fun trolling the E3 streams with Jack's head. Hell yeah, dude. Fuck. Oh, man. We're both better at humor. Yeah. We gotta switch up Dat Sheffy. Kill the ramp. Yeah, Festivarius. This game is all ramp all day. Dat Sheffy. Oh my gosh, my life. How long can it go without flipping? Why? I screwed up, guys. Internet, I screwed up. My life's over. You milked it. Guys, I milked it. Internet, thank you so much for coming. Jack Danger speaking I love your face Let's make out sometime Okay Yeah Subtle milk In a world Where being a milk is just too much Duck clip One woman Had the gall To take it too far Oh, call the rage. You're going to break the machine. I'll never break the machine. Oh. No. Oh! Rocket power. Oh, my God. Eat my shorts. Burritos. Is he saying burritos or burritos? He's saying sprinkles. Mom is loving flipping. Oh. Mom is loving flipping. See you, Krusty. Love you. Who do you love? Oh, the ramps. The ramps are real, kids. Not that one. Shit! What? Eight by shorts. Eight by shorts. Okay. Crystal Darius. Alright, I'll load her up here. You're doing great. Wow wow mama. Oh, that's three. Back in my day, if you wanted to quit smoking, you took up Tootsie Pops. You still have three. I didn't put in any. Tootsie Pops? So, assuming Stargazer's still... Actin'. Any ideas on a sub? Isn't that what this is? Well, this is the sub for the week. Next week, we'll probably play, like, maybe World Cup? How does that sound? World Cup's fun. I like Simpsons. No. No more Simpsons. Uh-uh. I mean, whatever. Whatever the internet freaking wants. God damn it. Don't eat to kids. I would say freaking Freaking is like PG-13 Can you say damn it though? Can you say damn it? Yo you're going down put me in bro I'm in the middle of a ball Interference Not putting you in interference Yo put me in bro I call shenanigans What was that? Is this a remix? Alright, Crystal, I think the game's about to explode if you're trying to touch it. Everyone back away except Crystal. It's like hitting pitches of unimaginable... This is terrifying! I don't think they even meant this to play out like that. I'm gonna do a video. You know, okay, I'm sorry, you are about to be sucked into another dimension. We will come find you, but not until we want to play this game again. Alright. Oh my god. Whoa. Everything's messed up. This is metal. Oh no. Wait, is it over? Oh my god. You need to separate these sound cards. Yo, that was fun. Holy farts, that was nuts. That was real fun. I did learn some of the rules of World Cup from your podcast. It would be nice to see it. Oh, you actually listened to that. Guys, stay tuned. There's another podcast coming eventually. Maybe next year. Alright. Like the pool, man! Catch. Alright, I think I might do one by myself where I try to do your voice. Snorting is sexy now I like it Nerdy as hell That right You need to stop Tell Marie Yo death snort though Oh yeah your girl be snorting All right, here we go, Internet. We be snorting. You already got a multiball with 600,000 points? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those fling trucks are a little bit delayed. Yo, the podcast. Oh, right on, dude. Thanks, internet. The podcast. The Deadpool podcast. Which one? We've only done three of them. Okay. Number four, coming out at an undisclosed time. Probably never. Stunk. Probably. Look, I locked it, and now we're back to volume one. Ugh! Ugh! Come on down! Come on down! Did you have any internet problems earlier? Nope. Nope, I've had, uh... I also haven't been rocking the internet too heavily. Oh, cool. Eat my shorts. Eat my shorts? But nothing, no, nothing bad yet. Because our internet died in here. But I think it's... Internet, I need to build a contained, small, monstrous little machine for streaming. If you folks want to donate like $9,000 so we can just get this thing going. You only cost $9,000? I think it's only like $2,000, but I need to get paid for my time. Oh! Guys, I'm sorry about that. That's really disgusting. I'm sorry. Sorry, internet. That was really gross. I'm just drinking some really good beer. Something like good beer. Wait, why is there a spider in mine? What, there's a spider? You guys are distractifying me. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Sure, sure, sure. We want Magic Girl this week. You know what? Bonus. Actually. Yeah, you gotta make a phone call. You know what? Where's my phone? Yo, you gotta make a phone call, J-Dog. Excuse me. Excuse me, Mr. Pop? I got an idea. Hello, Mr. Jack Pop? Apology accepted, Captain Nick. Dr. Pop? Oh, I made it! It was... Okay. Good shove. Yay! You did it! You got 5x donuts! Wait, who am I? Oh, yeah. J-Poo. J-Poo. That target is getting a little... It's broken in half. It's getting a little floppy, internet. We're going to have to take the glass off here soon. Oh! The Garga. It's Christmas cashmere. It does sound like Christmas cashmere. Help! Help! Uh oh, did he jump off of the internet? Who? Papa Digger? He doesn't believe in the internet. No, that's how I talk to him all the time. He'd be like, who's the guy? Yo, Crystal, good score! Uh oh, guys. Uncle Carby, I didn't, but I drank quite a bit of good PNW. And I went to the bar that the tavern was based on. I'm talking over here, the microphone's over here. Oh yeah, talk at the, talk at that, that's fun. Tell J-Pop all is forgiven if he appears on Deadflip. I am definitely going to say that to him. Obviously, people that have thousands and thousands of dollars invested in it might have some. Wait, who's mad? Well, people that have invested maybe $15,000 and now they're getting nothing. What do you mean they're not getting anything? I thought the game was made. No, the company that was taking over decided not to do it, so now there's just nothing. I want to hear that Yeah listen to some Podcast arena there buddy But why Yeah I need to start But why would Why do people Why would we have A magic girl Because one exists Out in the world One Ooh Ooh we got extra ball bro How much is extra ball worth Nothing Snuffing Snuffing I thought the art And all that came out Yep. This game's just not happening. There is one, exactly, and I want it. I get all my news from you, buddy. Oh, sorry. There's one magic girl in the world. Oh, thanks, man. And the company that was going to take over and help to build it decided it's too much of a liability and they're not going to. Because John is out of money. Fun. He's out of money. No! Backhand! Oh no! Don't have a cow bro! But I just had this cow, what do I do with it? But you gotta listen to Bart! What about this cow I just had? Just don't have one! Alright! If it appears on Dead Flip, insiders will stop speculating about your assignment. We have a magic girl, she's still here! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! She's standing right here! Sorry, she's a magical woman. I think. I got a black magic wand. That's cute. I need a black magic wand. I sang so much karaoke on that day. Did I do it? Read on. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I got a magic wand. Yeah! Yeah! I got him! Snuck ahead on that one What? I snuck ahead Oh you snuck ahead Guys I can't find him He probably like moved to a cabin or something Crap I think I think he disappeared off the internet That was really fun I'll hit him up That was it? Yeah Oh farts He didn't even flip I don't know if I'll flip Well, if we're not flipping, you've done good because you were coming for me. Maybe now we can get Harry Shearer to do custom speech for this table. Increase the value by $50. Yeah, perhaps. Folks, it appears that my contact with John Papadiuk has been severed because he disappeared off the internet. Are you in? Are you sure? You keep leaving. I'm right here. Okay. What do you mean? You got a beer? I got a sip of beer that Crystal brought. Okay. Real tasty. Flip those flippers. Woo! See Richie. Richie? See Richie? See Richie. See Richie. See Richie. Is that how you say it? $1.69. Oh, no. My man. Owl, you are the business, dude. Why are you so awesome? Yeah. I want to see your penis. Oh. No, I mean, I said penis because I drank. Why'd you go first? Oh, got to start over. I'm sorry. Sorry. Owl, that, uh, you're radical. Hold on. What are we talking about? Money. Owl Anonymous has a radical that he's streaming tonight. Oh. Love it. I love a radical. What time? Probably later. Mm, this is awkward. Good job, Nick. With lots of fiends. Best value. I want to see your 8 for 3 equal signs and a capital D. Can I get a do-over? I think we all need a do-over after that first ball. Guys, my butt. Guys, my butt. That was a buy-in. Guys, my butt. Anonymous. So, number one, I live in my mama house. Live in my mama house. Nailed it. Uh-oh. Double the score. Great. That's still garbage water. Garbage water. Thanks. Thanks for nothing. Break it. Uh-oh. Break it. We're going to snap that target. Break it. Oh, I got to hit it, though, right? Thanks, Alnonymous. You're donating to the Fix the Simpsons fund. Yeah. How much is a target that's held together by a sticker? Like the pool. Can you do it backhand style? No. Oh, the lock? I don't know. That's a tough lock. Oh, there you go. Tough lock. Yeah, tough lock. Yo, what's my, what's my, oh, Toxic Ratman, you have such a small A equals capital D. You'll get there, buddy. When you grow up, you'll get at least two or three more equal signs out of that. I'm only at two equal signs, right? So, you know, don't even sweat it, dude. Well. Biggie, biggie, biggie, biggie, biggie, biggie. So it goes. Name that author. OJ Simpson. No, it's Toxicrat Man. Hey wait, where's Dadflip? I don't see them on the screen. No, it's Dadflip. Dadflip. We changed our name now, we're Dadflip. Family Flip. Can you freaking give me one American break? One American break, folks. Oh, that only has the D. What about a Canadian break? Who's pointing at the whole family reunion here? What's a Canadian break? Break? Break. Clan break. fine break oh good tough market for buyers guys someone give me John Papadiuk's info I don't have it anymore I want him on next week when we play oh can we play World Cup soccer next week is there something wrong with it all right let's play woke up I want Papa to kill when we do it though Because he designed that biz. Didn't work. I would have had double score. John may have taken so many from some people that I saw him in the live. But I will say the guy is an awesome dude and a genius. And genius doesn't always equal business savvy. Oh boy, catch it. Boop, boop, boop, boop. That's fun Who do you love? Whoa Not a lot you can do there Thanks for the ears bro You didn't get ears I don't get ears I take them Ears? Ears I want to hear that crazy remix version of this. Go get your 2X, girl. Get it. You all Bulls fans that you're in Chicago? I don't follow football, but if I did, I would be a Bulls fan, yes. That's basketball. It's baseball, I think. No, Bulls is basketball. No, Cubs is baseball. Cubs is basketball. Cubs, no, Bulls is basketball. The Sox is our basketball team. The Cubs are our baseball team. Well, we have two basketball teams. And the Bears won the Stanley Cup. The Bears are the hockey people. We have two basketball teams here in Chicago. One's the Bears, and one's the Cubs. Yeah. The Cubs are going to win eventually, man. They haven't won a WNBA in, like, forever. I don't think anybody's won. Anything, ever. I don't think any Chicago team's won in, like, eight years. Have they? Oh, on the fly. Oh, backhand! On the fly, on the back. Oh! Ow, the donuts. I was so proud of you, buddy. Thanks, Dad. It's really warm in here. Prove it. Well, you are next to a construction light, so... Basketball, bears, or football? Yes. How was dinner, Sisflip? Oh, man. Sisflip in chat. Oh! What was that? Mr. Slapperino. Mr. Bob Slapperino. Yo, get a million, bro. Wait, is it running? Oh. You gotta load it up. It's something cashmere. It's something cashmere. Christmas princess. What is this? It's backflip. Got it. No! Locked a wall. Wait, what ball was that? Is that ball three? That was wall three. Didn't Chicago win the NHL title recently? No, man, that was like 700 years ago. Yeah, it was 2005. Like when the Bears were playing hockey against the freaking Jets or whoever it was, they scored like nine or ten stabs. All right. It was like a street brawl. Here's what I'm going to try to do, Internet. I'm going to try to get the win. Dead Flip is reverse trolling the Internet with their sports talk. Reverse trolling. I love that. Nope. Are you hold on? Yeah, get back there. Yeah You got it back there again. Careful. Whoa, that's got to be ear piercing. Sorry, Internet. Oh, I love you, Internet. Wait, it's hole three. Yes. Internet. And Chris is still playing, Nick. I'm sorry about that. That was not nice. That was not nines. Simpsons is... She's a cruel mistress. She's tough. I haven't reached her yet. She's a sexy mistress, but she is cruel. Now, why is this ramp cut out like that? Oh, so it could fall off if it doesn't make it all the way down? just kidding why is that cut off? Oh maybe so you can see the donuts easier or you get a uh yeah cuz it cuts off that donut. Alright Chris don't beat us all Oh Primitive have a good one buddy I'm gonna miss you. Off the drill out of lock We have a video of the World Cup soccer lock game show if you ever want to see someone drilling out the door on a pinball machine on a pinball machine. Is that nine tilts this week or nine tilts today? And they all use, son. We're pinball machine of all time. Not of all time, but it's up there. Be right back, bro. Who got the second? You're out of this one? Oh, man, we're both out here in teamwork. A friend of mine asked me this weekend Oh, Nick, always in and out. What the silliest pinball machine ever played was. And what was your answer? I couldn't really come up with one. silliest pinball machine. I'd say not Banzai Run. Look up a game called Sexy Girl. It was made by an Italian pinball company in 1980 and it has a projector in it with a big screen here and a reel-to-reel film where it just shows pictures of 70s naked ladies. Sexy Girl. Sexy Girl, ladies and gentlemen. Look it up. Also, if you find one, my girlfriend is definitely looking to buy one. No joke. Please no yellow Reno, exactly, guys. Fast break almost together. Demented, bring that crap over here, dude. What's fast break? It's a pinball machine where the scoring is like, if you get two points, you're doing really good. Not even kidding. That's great. No yellow Reno, por favor. Are all of the scores decimal points? No, it's basketball rules. So if you make a shot... Wait, why did someone... What was I thinking? I was looking at the internet. Oh, Brad. So Stargazer's volume is just kaputnik. It's gone. Stargazer is just about as mute as he could be. Brad, this sucks so hard. Donate to kids. I literally came on this show because I was looking forward to Stargazer, and I got this crap. And I got this crap. I'm not going to be picky, though. Pinball is pinball. Pinball is pinball. I didn't mean to plunge just then. That was great. My hand slipped. You pulled a crystal. Is there a ball there? No? Too bad. No flipperino. No flipperino. Did you fiddle with the knob I did I also power cycled it but power cycling it only brought the audio back on for a very short time Yeah Big Dicks is a good one Are you serious Also yeah Okay. There are a fair amount of X-rated, or I guess PG-13. This is like an adult sort of... PG-17. What's up, Squirrely? Hey, Squirrely! He didn't want to electrocute himself, Brad. Yeah, exactly. It's all cool. sunk ooh gotta give it a real slap oh you almost had it up higher nope don't wiggle it I can try it for you get ready all right then hit it up here more okay you're We're going to deafen the internet. Oh! That was fun. I'll be there tomorrow. All right, right on, Brad. Yay, Brad. The Chicago Blackhawks? Who are the Blackhawks? We won something? Are they a bowling team? Ah, yeah, it's Chicago's bowling team. We won the national bowling tournament. Oh, my back. Guys, I'm getting old. Did you fiddle with them or not? Oh, come on, Crystal. Whoa, nice score. I'm playing like donkey butter right now. Donkey? What is a donkey? What is a donkey? versus donkey. Versus donkey. Come on, ketchup. Oh, what the crap. Give me the ball, please. Who do you love? Let Flipper was dying every now and then also, right? Oh, yeah, exactly. I'm going to the mall. Dude, sis flip. Now I know that you're Nick Campbell. Why? Because she only talks when Nick isn't in the room. This is actually... Don't blame me. Nuclear. Like you said, 35-year-old game, yeah. Not much you can do with a game that's 35 years old. Is it really 35? They came. Oh, Stargazer's 35. Stargazer's 35. Stargazer's older than you and me, buddy. Yeah, but you were like 80, so you were older than Stargazer. 82. Crystal. Gee, good win, buddy. We need more mall arcades. I agree. Aren't all malls dead? No. That was fun. Ernie Mills. it's an outlet mall about an hour north of here and I worked at every damn store in that mall when I was younger no that opened up after my time I was a waiter at Rainforest Cafe I worked in a store called Black Market Minerals where I was the most knowledgeable person about rocks I worked in a poster store and pretty much just gave all the posters away and the company closed down. I worked in a music store, a video game store. I worked freaking everywhere. 35 years old. Yes, Gurney Mills. Crystal One. Correct. Correct. Correct. I can't believe that I missed those lanes earlier. Caramba. That was embarrassing. Come on, Crystal. Get your shit together, Crystal. Two friends! Piggly Wiggly. I did not work at a Piggly Wiggly, but I did shop at one. What is a Piggly Wiggly? It's like a jewel. Isn't it like an American thing? Is that like... no, it's a freaking Canadian thing. Oh, I don't know. Come on! Piggly Wiggly. Three! Mom! Crap, parts, give me the... Five! Sad face, wait, sad face! Four! Yeah! What is the scientific name for dinosaur poop? Dinosaur poop? Guano. Isn't it guano? No, that's bat shit. Oh, in Chips he rode a motorcycle. Yes, that was me. I was the white guy from Chips. Bat shit is guano. That's why sometimes you say, like, oh, he's bat guano crazy. Chicago. Ah, come on. I want to hit the ramp. Everyone learned what bat poop was called from... From... Bill Nye the Science Guy. No, not Bill Nye. Animal Detective. Bill. What's his name? Bill. Ace Ventura. Pet Detective. Oh, Guano. That's what that joke is. Chikaka. Cool. I'll take it. The only time I actually want and miss smoke is after eating. Yeah, Greed Patrol. Me too, man. Me too. You're talking about... Cigarettes. Uh-huh. Yeah, the only time I want a cigarette is when I'm blackout drunk. or I just ate way too much food. Or after sex. Or after... After... I didn't say it. Whatever Crystal said. Crocodile. Oh, yeah. I used to venture a crocodile. Oh. Oh. That ain't good for me if I don't have any score to... multiply. Ooh, lucky. Lucky schmucky. That was skill-erino. Yeah, I love that. Oh, that's skill. Skill drink. Jesus. Jack, what's the lower button again? Oh, there is no button for him anymore. You actually have to click my name. And I... Oh my god. Interference. Sorry, I moved it out of the way. Mike. DQ. DQ. DQ. DQ. Crystal, I don't think I got yours ready. It's because you've got to get a new picture. No, I'm not getting a new picture. Oh, Jack, I broke it. You broke the target? Yeah. Where did it go? It's on the play field still. No, I still have yours. Jack. Okay. Oh, you snapped that bi, Trayton. This is the jankiest game of pitfall I've ever played. Oh, I found your lower third. Oh, dope. Hey, what's up, guys? I'm going to turn it off. That's me. Crystal broke the game, guys. R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. Danger. R.I.P. Everywhere I go, I say R.I.P. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Just kidding. That's not cool. It's not? Yo dude. No, it's not supposed to be cool, it's funny. Well, it's not funny. But it's supposed to be cool. Well, it's neither. Like crazy sexy cool. Uh huh. Remember that? Yeah. You want an extra target? There you go. Your multiball's lit. Stop! Souvenir. Yeah, right. I think Nick needs this. Ugh! He can get another... Can you hold this glass up for me? And... I'm gonna... class up for me and move your hand really quick thank you buddy magic work now thank you and say now no but you should okay now assertive is a misogynistic Are you making fun of me? No. I'm making fun of myself. You're really great. I be queefing. You? Yeah. I be queefing. I did this, Internet. It was me. I have to go show Nick now. Mm-hmm. Waterpolo, what's up, buddy? Crystal just broke the game. Like a ding to the dong. Let's try to put up a monster score. Nailed it, nailed it, nailed it I'm trying to get this Micky Ball thing going here Alright, there's one Oh my god, my life is over Eat my shorts Alright, you ready? Did Nick say you can have it? Uh, no, he just said Wait What we should do is like drill that out And then make a pendant out of it Because what I'm doing with the button that I broke off of Fishtails is I'm going to turn that into a belly button ring. Give it to you. It's going to light up. It's going to look incredible. I think that you should give a name to any time you have a table on the stream and it breaks down in the middle of streaming. And you can call it, like, oh, we fishtailed it. Oh, we fishtailed it. Stargazer or But we didn't break Stargazer. Stargazer broke. Oh, the air balls are real, kids. Oh, shats the in lane, kids. Holy farts. That was insane. Can you tell me again what shats again? It's when you shoot up the in lane. It's called an alley pass. So if I use this flipper to shoot the ball up and out this way. That's bonkers. Fail train. Okay, so I'm going to want to shoot up. Call the dentist. Oh, broke a tooth? That's cute. Half a million, I'll take it. I'll take it. You, you son of a... Guys, how am I supposed to get drones? Oh, I have to wash my motorcycle today. Yeah, well, I have to unpack. There's a giant, important, like, design conference that is going to borrow my Harley Davidson as a centerpiece because, like, someone that works on the Harley design account wanted a bike there for him to sit on, and he's like, doing one of these. Cool. I guess. Crystal is always interested in everything. Alright, so we have to hit the lock. Man, they make that trouble so easily. We do not do any bang backs or death saves because that is illegal in tournament play and getting used to it screws with your brain. It's mean. A bang back hurts you more than it hurts the pinball machine. But a death save is super bad for the machine. Who's calling me? I'm not an underachiever. I'm an overachiever. Oh, my God. Baby Ruth. Yay. Good job, buddy. Crystal turn. Eat my sharks. My shark. Hmm. That is risky. Why do I do that every time? Ow. Double drew. What's a bang back? Fuck that duck. Donate to kids. Donate to kids. A bang back is where the ball is draining down here. and what you do is as it's rolling down the drain you hold this flipper up and then you use this hand to hit the front of the cabinet to pop it back into play. And a death save is bad also. Never do that. Never do that. Really? Is it really? How close is too close? Talk really soft like right here. It picks up really well. Okay, don't do that. Can you say, don't bang back boys. Yuck. No, do it. You have to now. You got really close. Don't bang that, fellas. Oh, come on. Don't bang that. Where's your bedroom voice? That could be a secondary. It could donate to kids. Don't bang back, boys. Don't bang back. Dope bang back. Yummy and delicious. Jaden, don't show them. Don't show them. And then they're going to try it. Let them try it because you know what? They're going to get beat up. We'll learn a lesson. Don't bang that, boys. I said, okay, well, anyway. Alright, here we go. Alright, who's texting me? Is it yo mama? Oh, hey mom. Is it mom flip? Hey, let's hit something. Oh, who wants to go to Bar Trivia? Nobody? Type 1 if you want to go to Bar Trivia with me. Hey guys, I waged 12-head. I waged 12-head. Are you leaving? No, I'm just putting it back. What, are you cold now? You were just complaining that you're hot and sweaty. No, actually, I'm quite comfortable. So you're going to put a coat on. I don't want to. Why does Papa have those techniques? Yeah, they just, because they want you to be knowledgeable of what's happening. Knowing what a death save is allows you the, let's say you're playing pinball. in a tournament with someone else. Like Crystal's playing pinball with me. And I'm playing, and the ball drains, and I do a death save because I think no one's looking, and then I cradle the ball and start playing. Now, if she doesn't know what that is, she just thinks that I'm playing. But if she saw me death save, she can go narc on me like a piece of crap. But you know what? You need to narc. Always be narcing. A-B-N. Freaking, you see someone death save in a tournament, turn their ass in because that is bullshit. Donate to kids. It's summer and it's freaking hot. Nowhere near Chicago would be fun. What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, the Pacific Northwest is pretty great. You're playing a tabber tournament? That's awesome, dude. Oh, I love tabber. If you know about bangbacks, you're a dirty criminal. Bangbacks are illegal, but they hurt your wrist more than they hurt the machine. You will actually screw yourself up. Wonko, you're cool. playing that tappa. Let me get that tappa. Parappa tappa. Dappa dappa dappa. Wonko T saying it's so freaking... Oh! Hold them boners. Wonko has two points because he likes pinball and he plays tapper and he loves and he can see his face. Wonko doesn't like pinball. He just shows up here to make fun of us. Oh, really? No, I'm just kidding. Like me. She's like, oh, I hate you then. No! Did you mark the... I mark everything. We just lost the... I mark everything. I mark everything. When Nick is here, it's 3-2... No, it's 2-1-0. When Nick's not here, it's 1-0. I want to play. You are playing. But I want to play. I want to play. High score, please! I own seven and make you 30 others. Are you talking about him? Children. Or children. Backhand on the fight. Damn it. Please, hurry. You're wasting all my time. Are you going to FX? The TV network? No, the... Replay. Yeah, if I should play. Yes, I'm definitely going to that. I'm going to go! Why aren't you going, Ding Dong? I don't have a million dollars. I also don't have a million dollars. I have no money. Internet, I'm doing this and I'm broke. I am not even lying to you. Yeah. Come to the show and I'm broke. Busters. Boners! Hey man, we're both underachievers. Yeah, if we played this all week, We would have the tilt record in about two days. Don't practice bang backs, guys. You'll hurt yourself. Yeah, please. Like, I'm not even kidding. You will hurt yourself bad. I'm going to try this, and I've failed every time, but I'm going to do it anyways. There's a good chance you'll break. There's like a small boat in everyone's wrist that's really easy to break, and you will shatter that immediately You guys have given me the worst advice Oh that the ghost That's the ghost. Are you at a house or a small arcade shop? We are in a dungeon underneath downtown Chicago. Are you talking to me or are you talking to Jack? Oh, that's me. Oh, because the Jack face is there. Yeah, sorry. Can I come and crash too? Crystal, listen, I've discussed this. We can make out, but I just, I'm not. Oh. Be making out with, like, Broflip. What's Broflip? Where is Broflip? I guess I could say. Sisflip is all up in the chat. Be, like, making out with Sisflip. Sisflip. Nailed it. Oh, I usually hit that on the fly. Nothing. Ouchie. Nothing. Nailed it. I love that the game says ow right when you would normally want to slap the machine. Yeah. Ow! Ow! Oh, Crystal is invited. Yay! Party with the carmies! Party with the carmies. Ball three. That was ball three? Yeah. Don't get a pin jury. Don't have a cow man. Pin jury. What are you doing? It's still me. You almost restarted the game. No, I didn't. My back. I didn't do shit. My neck, my back. Can you finish that song? Uh-uh. Really? Mm-mm. My neck, my back, my foot and my cramp. My neck, my back, my foot and my cramp. Try not to sit in the movie, guys. What time is it? Oh, no. We got five minutes, bro. We got all the minutes. Da scene swans. I always have to open on the days you guys go to bed. Guys, now it's our dead flip. is unemployed pinball junkie playing in a bunker beneath the sun. Guys, yeah, that loud noise you keep hearing is actually the L going by. And the junkie friends stop by. Hey, man, you got those drill? Wait, you're on the internet? Yeah, what's up? Yeah, pinball shirt, whatever, man. Alberto was here. Whatever it takes. Alberto was here. There we go. We're fine. Oh, here, I'll just do this. Oh, once. I do once. I'm Jack Deidre. You just gotta wallop it. Wallop. Wallop. Give it a wallop. A wallopy. Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree. Merry, merry king of the bushes he laughed. Kookaburra laughed. Kookaburra gay your life must be. Do you remember that song? Yep. Because you're from Canada. Uh-huh. And for some reason I was taught that song But that's like an Australian song Love you What do I get for nothing on this one? Nothing You'll get nothing Outland, outland Outland, outland What you gonna do? So y'all open to the public? We're only open to individuals that want to come here and be on the stream. Other than that, no. We are not open to the public. And if you want to be on the stream, you have to contact me days in advance so I can move all the drugs out of the way. As in, we just have, like, piles of ibuprofen everywhere. Crystal, you have one more ball, I think. Oh, really? Is that how this game works? No, I'm saying I don't know. Wow. Jeez Louise. Try to help somebody. That's freaky. Buy your D.O.D. man. Oh, gotta move them out. Thanks bud. 75k and light extra ball if I clear him again. Okay, that's weird. Food, do love. My mom is on Chicago this week. Should I send her over? Yeah, send the moms over. What, your mom? Mom's what? Yeah, where is mom? Yo, Lone Goat Owl, hang out with your mom. Is she a subtle milf? Isn't that what I was saying? It was. It's so funny. Demented. Congratulations. It's like two words that you would never expect to be put together. Like dog laxative Dog laxative Wait what Oh ladies and gentlemen Mom goat Yeah where's mom goat Oh crap farts Where's lord mom Lord mom Perfect Bowling pins Ah, farts. My uncle saw a drug once and his hair turned gray. Drugs. Not even once. Not even once, guys. Not even once. That's true. Not even once. Did you say subtle or supple? Subtle milk? Yikes, guys. That's dirty. Subtle milk is just funny. Sharks. Oh, sharks. Please. Yeah. okay missed it missed it missed it hopefully no no supple Miller oh no you need three million to fight with me if you get three million then I'll scream out of the top of my lungs in the main room Was drinking coke and I literally almost spit it all over my computer. Why would you do that? Supple. Supple milk. I gotta pee. Don't hit me. Alright. Crystal's DQ'd for peeing. It is nice. It's called party foul, man. Oh, God. Party foul. Sorry if that wasn't fun for Jack and Crystal But it was a blast for me Guys F this game I'm going to play one more And then we're going to go We're going to go cry That was weird Here we go kids Who do you love? ABC, you're welcome for playing Daddy Simpsons. Thank you for your donation, dude. That was way too generous, man. Udabomb. Dabomb.com If I was to quote Guy Fieri. Who do you love? Do it! Ha ha ha! Do it! I'm your mama! You can Rumba? That's great. I think that's a difficult dance to do. I can Rumba. At least now you can say you streamed it. It's true. We got that out of the way. There you go. Ten, nine, eight. So I'm playing like maybe the best game of Simpsons ever right now because I'm playing by myself. Holy crap, this is ball one. Yummy and delicious. Crap, I just want to hit that last bowling pin. Oh, my life. How much do we have to donate to get JD to get Frosted Tips like Guy? Guys, Frosted Tips like Guy Fieri. How much money would that cost? That is a great question. What do you think that is? One bill, one dollar. Oh yeah, my last game My last game on Stargazer last night was really good, too. Why is this game freaking out audibly? Can I buy yourself? Yeah, I just wanted to see what I could get. We're wrapping this up, by the way. Whoa! Airball? Okay, so here's the... That's incredible. This is the dilemma with this. Is that from here? Because that ball, if I try to take the glass off, is just going to drain. What do you call that? Is there a name for that? That's called a oopsie-doozle. Let's see what we can do with this, kids. It just looks like it's suspended in midair. Instagram it. Okay. I'm not up with that. All Instagrammable You did already No I wanted Regram it yo What's a regram It's where you take my picture It's where you take my drugs and I take y'all drugs Nailed it Interesting internet Topic So here's what's going to happen I need your assistance Fonzie that shiz. No, it's straight up not coming off. Oh my god. You can do this, man. Hold on. Please get caught. Please get caught. Okay, hold on. Hold on. I might have to play. Ah! Oh, look out, look out, look out! Oh. It's all good. It's all good. If I could have flipped at it, we would have been good. It's all good. Don't even sweat it. Okay, um, I need you to hold... The glass? Everything. Sorry, guys. It's all good, buddy. It's all good. Watch your fingers, please. Cool. I let Jack down. It's all good. Use your magnet ring. Guys, we don't let people know about our magnet rings, okay? I mean that we have them. I mean that I own one. This is the high score for the night, at least. Yeah. Yes, ma'am. Voted best game of the 1990 AMOA show. What's that? The Always Miraculous Otter Association. That was terrible. Internet. F this game. Hands down. Hands down, F it. Hands down, F it. F it. F it. F it. F it. F the game. Literally the jankiest machine ever played. Thanks to everyone that made us stream this. Thanks to Crystal for showing up and playing. Killing it. The worst show ever says Scribble. I completely agree. Completely agree. Thank you. Scribble. You know. Just keep giving us money. I love you. Thanks to Nick, obviously. I'm Jack Danger. We do this Monday through Friday, 5 p.m. Central Standard Time. We're going to be playing Daddy Simpsons for the rest of the week. Are you seriously? So, I hope you're happy. I hope you're freaking happy. Crap. What's so bad about it? About this game? Come play it. Yeah. You don't even... It's not, words can't be spoken to explain. You have to experience it. It's like when people try to explain what a shot of Malort tastes like, it's nothing compared to taking the shot, you know? Or it's like when people are like, oh, getting a tattoo on your ribs, it hurts, it's like burning. No, until you get one, you don't know how it freaking feels. Like, it's one of those things that you have to experience. I just got nutted by the game too by the way um gazer that borked bunkers borkers we ended day with day one with 11 tilts on Simpsons if we did an entire week of this mathematically we would have 55 tilts uh Oregon Ninja come back tomorrow 5 o'clock we'll be here oh sorry Oregon Ninja central time we're here Monday through Friday at 5pm Central Standard Time. I don't know what time it is where you're at. I'm guessing Oregon. Let's see. Oregon's probably an hour later. There's no way it's three hours. It's like two or three hours. I was just there! New York is only an hour ahead of us. Uncle Carmy. And California is only an hour later. Help me out here, man. It goes it goes minus one, one, plus one. That's the U.S. It's like two hours. You're two hours. Yes. Anyways, whatever. That's what you get for talking smack to Bart. Nutted. Yeah. We're two hours behind you. Booyahshaka. I was right. She was wrong. That's three o'clock. It was, okay, that was Price is Right rules. I was closest without going over. She said three hours. It's not shenanigans. Obviously. Obviously I was correct. Tilting, blah, blah, blah. Guys, I love you so much. Thank you for everyone that followed, everyone that donated, and everyone that subscribed. I love you guys immensely. We can't do this without you. We would try. It just wouldn't be fun. Unless I could say, hey, Internet, and then look over and you guys are calling me like a sack or like a nub or whatever you call people. It's not fun unless I do that. In fact, I think I'm going to have to start carrying a printed out version of the chat when I compete in tournaments and then talk to myself so I feel like I'm playing in front of you guys in order to do anything correctly. Switch back to Walking Dead. Yeah. We'll give more Daddy Simpsons a try. Also, this game is for sale if you want to buy it. Ignore all the shit talk if you're trying to purchase it. If you're not trying to purchase it, understand the shit talk. It is what it is. I love you guys. Anyway, go play pinball, folks. I love you. Have a wonderful evening. I'm going to go play bar trivia now. Goodbye. Goodbye, Internet. Donate to kids. Donate to Jack. Also, folks, when we're not live, if you want to throw us money, it's whatever. I like it. It's fun. You know. I like to look down when I'm out at a bar and I'm like, oh, I can't afford a beer. And it's like, you just got $90. I'm like, I'm going to buy one really expensive beer. Like, what's a $90 beer? Is there such a thing? like is there a it's like a 90 dollar bottle of wine yeah but what's a 90 there has to be a 90 dollar beer that's like barrel aged in a whiskey bottle in a whiskey cask um that's like super dark and syrupy and super delicious alright everybody have a wonderful night I love your faces um when is the next tournament greed patrol our next tournament is coming up very soon We don't have an answer for that though Crystal's birthday Birthday tournament Birthday crystal tournament Crown ambassador reserve Guys go play pinball I'm pissed Why aren't you leaving Go K.E. to the K.E. I love you Sam Adams utopia is $90 I'll take it Here it is Crown ambassador reserve $90 Crown ambassador reserve 10.2% It's $90 for a bottle. Yo, I'm getting that $90 beer. Aged in French oak barrels for 12 months. You got to age that beer if it's going to be sponsored. All right, guys. Have a good night. I love you. Laters. Laters. Laters.