It was the night before Christmas with the Headhead Slobs. Their podcast was stirring as they played with their knobs. The children were nestled all snug into bed, while these stupid dildos won't remain dead. It's the time to be thinking of old Santa Claus Not listening to these two morons talk about Jaws Marty spreads his jizz on Haggis games alike Ryan followed orders when told, take a hike Listen closely for the odd burp, fart, and cough As these assholes ruin Christmas Thanks, fuck off! You're listening to the Head to Head Pinball Podcast. Find us on Facebook. Email us at headtoheadpinball at gmail.com or go to our website at headtoheadpinball.com Welcome everybody to the Head to Head Pinball Podcast. My name is Martin. And I'm Ryan C. it's still weird isn't it well i don't know if if uh it's not muscle memory anymore like i mean it's in there somewhere but and it comes but it's like yeah it's been a while i mean it's been a year every time how many how many christmas episodes have we done oh three this is our fourth this is our fourth this will be the fourth yep christmas cheer christmas prolapse and cooked bacon with balls that lovely intro brought to you by pinside pd thank you pinside pd for still existing as long as head-to-head exists pd exists i think it's one of those things if we those two things can only coexist if we give this up he will disappear yeah he needs to exist in the world yeah how i how are you money yeah i'm good i've had a very busy 2023 how about you yes a very interesting 2023 we we have chatted a couple of times on the Final Round Pinball Podcast and I think we decided then that we're doing a Christmas episode, but we said we would talk at Hashman's Christmas Party. So, how was that chat, Marty? It was, you know, it was a pretty quiet chat. For everyone who wasn't there. Marty didn't come. I was sitting there in the hot tub with my KY jelly and you weren't there. No, and it's such a lame old man excuse, but I get a pinched nerve in my neck, which gives me headaches. And I had one that day, and I just couldn't go. So, boring. Thanks for the heads up. I just had to hear it from everybody else. It's a really beautiful day. It's the second Saturday now for two years in a row that we have the Victorian Pinball State Champs, our unofficial State Champs, which I think is cooler than the IFPA one. And then it's followed by a pinball Christmas party that didn't start off as a pinball Christmas party. It started off as a work breakup party for a company that has about three employees. And there's about 100 people at the party. And it's been going on for years. But we've now kind of joined up that the state championships run on the same day. and then everyone kind of goes there to celebrate. And it was a beautiful day. Stacey Borg. Yes, yes. Stacey Borg, who has co-hosted. Yes, a number of times. Head to head once before. Oh, yeah, a number of times. Sorry. Yeah, I think it was the first big pinball comp that he'd won. He's come very close many times and fallen over at the 11th hour. And it was beautiful to watch someone kind of have that redemption after so many years crushing it on Meteor as the last game. And did you know, Marty, that wearing the pinball belt that you win to Hashman's Christmas Party entitles you to free unlimited blowjobs? Yeah, I still don't think it's worth it to wear that hideous belt. I would rather pay for blow jobs than have to wear that hideous belt what do you want Marty can you design it you're a pinball manufacturing designer I just want a trophy I don't want a belt it's a trophy wow it's perpetual well it's got one more year it's a four year it's a four year belt we're three years in yeah I will consult you Marty when the four years is up and you can give me some ideas besides a trophy that's a bit boring well you know reach around trophies weren't boring that i can assure you uh i need to get the 3d pins are out so 2023 yes big year for pinball big actually huge year for pinball when you talk about new releases like obviously there was a lot of machines that were released this year but i guess i just want to make a bit of a more profound statement so let's let's say i don't know 10 years ago 11 years ago there was really stern and jersey jack had just had wizard of oz so and we were pretty excited by that because that was kind of that time that i got back into pinball it was 20 2012 i think so when metallica launched That was my first tournament I went to. So if you think about it now, it's not just that there was a brazilian of pinball machines that were released. There's a lot of companies now. So it's... So many companies. So many companies. So lots of choice. It's kind of what we wanted. Yes. Is there a but? No, no, no. No, that's it. I guess I just wanted to make that statement that when we started head-to-head, god knows how many years ago that probably would have been about seven maybe eight years ago uh it's a very very different environment now it is and it's it's easy to take it for granted like uh everyone who's obsessed with pinball you know you start somewhere and then you start consuming pinball information and it's kind of mind-blowing because you you surround yourself with pinball people and eventually a lot of the people you talk to about pinball know everything you're talking about current events and there's such a history of information that is sitting in your brain and it wasn't until hatchman's christmas party i i brought a friend along and uh and i was introducing her to to pinball and and she was blown away by everything and i was explaining how the the powerball works in in twine zone and how john trudeau is a pedophile and all these things um yeah all the highlights yeah we had we had a big conversation because hashman's um his congo trans light uh was signed by uh mr john tradu and i i got a sign for him when we're at the 2016 pinball expo and it says we are watching you and then it has his his signature on it and i had a very late night 2 a.m conversation with someone where it's like does that make is that is it worth less or more because of that like it's it's fucking creepy anyway like it's we take it for Granted, we contain so much pinball knowledge and the history is fascinating. Every pinball machine has a story and the evolution over the last couple of years, since you've mentioned it, since Metallica, has been like lightning. Things have changed so much within that time. Yeah. And I also think about, again, I'm sort of getting a bit reminiscent on our Christmas episode, that if we think about what we used to talk about, the news of the week that we used to talk about was just such minor stuff compared to... Stern Code Update. Stern Code Update. Wow, there hasn't been one in two months. Yeah, where's my Stern Coffee Table book? Didn't we have like a weekly update on that? Yeah, the company that made the letter opening machines, was it, or letter folding machines? I can't even remember anymore. Stuff like that. So anyway, if we were to be recording now, we would be talking about a lot of pinball. And I guess I do want to give a bit of a, I don't know, a quick breeze through of the games that off the top of my head I can remember that came out in 2023. And most, some I've played, some I haven't. So Galactic Tank Force, American Pinball. What do you think? I haven't played it yet. I haven't had the opportunity. so what would you like me to give my opinion on? Just, I don't know, how you think it's been received and what you think it looks like. I think it's the same as kind of dialed in in that original theme, pinball machines, just have people scream for them but then they have a distinct lack of desire to purchase them so they're at a disadvantage from the get-go so it has to be so amazing for someone to buy it which I still think Daldin is I still love Daldin so yeah, I'm interested to play Galactic Tent Force I would have thought by now that American Pinball would be kind of firing on all cylinders, like it's been a while since Houdini I don't know, Houdini Houdini was the first, yeah the pinball machine that me and you have credits for being on that's right yeah I would say in some ways they've come a long way in some ways I'm still come on American Bimble I'm still just waiting for you to just go flop it out here it is take all these 12 inches what if Marty I went when you say that you remind me of last week I was in Well, just yesterday I was in New Zealand. But last week I was in Mount Cook National Park in New Zealand's South Island, and I went for a little hike, and at the end of the hike there is a lake next to Mount Cook. So Mount Cook is so high up in the air that the water that runs off it is... Did you flop out your 12-inch penis? Is that where this is going? Well, I tried to flop out my 12-inch penis, but unfortunately because I just went for a cold dip in three degree water it was the smallest i've ever seen my cock it might as well have not existed like it was it was it was a clit it was a it was a slightly oversized clit it was that fucking small like i i who knew that it can shrink that much like it's bizarre like penises are fucking fascinating as you as you know episode 126 penises are fascinating no we can do better than this Marty we can do better we're only we're only a couple minutes in we're only a couple minutes in don't call it yet they are though have you have you ever gone for a cold dip before Marty like have you ever been in an ice bath oh yeah have you checked out your your dick fat cock after the shrinkage is real you know it's not just a made up thing ladies it happens I would like to know just out of pure curiosity is what happens if you go into an ice bath with a boner like is it is it like as in as in like it's like a game of tug of war like the blood of your penis is trying to make it hard and the coldness is trying to take it away i would say not not having done it myself um usually because there's people around me but i would say there's a percentage hit to the girth okay just the girth it just gets like really fucking small it stays long and it's like a wrong thing carrot oh wow welcome to head to head everybody hope you've missed us oh my god all right I'm trying it next time, Matty. I'm reporting back. Okay. Episode 127. I'm going to... Oh, my God. So, Galactic Tank Force. Galactic Tank Force. It's a great game, I think. I think it's a great game. Look, let me tell you my thoughts. I only played it once. It's one of those ones, and you know it's one of my catchphrases, hashtag, I want to play it more. I played it at TPF and I found it a bit clunky. And I was speaking to somebody months after and they said, oh, look, there was one game there that did play a bit clunky but there was one next to it that just played super smooth. So, you know, I guess early games, early builds, they probably had to do some tweaking to get them right. But, you know, that's what happened. But I'm going to call it, I think, for me, highlight of the year, Foo Fighters. What an instantly fun game that is. I mean, yeah, I finally put some time on it in New Zealand as well. I felt like socializing, so I took a detour and went to Christchurch. and I opened up the Stern Insider Connected app for the first time and it was useful. It was like, there is a pinball machine here, 500 meters away from you. I sat there for an hour and a half getting the grand champion instead of talking to people and the locals. And yeah, what a fucking fun game to shoot. I haven't dived deep enough into the code to know if it's a stay or not. There have been a couple of people that I've talked to that said that it kind of loses its legs quickly and code needs to be better on a deep, further into the game level, but that's just what people say and I can't say that firsthand. Yeah, yeah. Nothing can just stop the smile that you get on your face when you play that game. Like that's, you know, we've talked about having a connection. Like I don't know if you remember we talked about that. The avatar connection. But that's what it was for me with Foo Fighters. I just flipped it and just went I feel something about this game I'm connected to it it's making me feel happy and I was starting to get a little bit jaded with a lot of sterns because I just felt they were fine and they were doing interesting things but it was just becoming a bit more of the same it's a stern, it plays like a stern it's great it's a hard thing when when that base level that you're talking about is actually quite high. It's not like it's a stern, which is shit. Stern don't really release turds anymore, and they haven't for a long time, I think. So the baseline level is... It's hard to compare a stern to a stern because they keep on setting the bar pretty damn high. Well, let me compare a stern to a stern. So let's talk Venom, because I think the big issue that Venom had was it was in the shadow of Foo Fighters. That's what I think because Foo Fighters just looked fresh, felt fresh, was fresh, was an interesting theme. I don't think it was necessarily the top of anyone's list of themes. How they integrated it and how they did that whole alien thing was just freaking cool. and so then you've got Venom which it's it's fine I've played it and I actually really quite like it it shoots nice but I've sort of said it's a Venom's a B theme no Venom movie has been on the top of anyone's list that's pretty much fact C theme maybe I don't know if Venom's a B theme then what's a C theme or are we just a a's and b's with him let's just say a's and b's you're either you're either in or you're at yeah yeah so and that's that's what i think that happened with with venom and you know it had gorgeous art absolutely particularly the cab art is just absolutely gorgeous but it was gorgeous we've had gorgeous you know what i mean like it was absolutely fantastic, beautiful detail, great colour scheme and great colour balance. It just looked great. But I guess the whole superhero fatigue is happening, you know, Marvel fatigue is happening, DC fatigue is happening. We're all just a little bit done with the superheroes and Venom's not even a good one. Are there any good ones left? Yeah, we talked about it on the final round that I wouldn't buy Venom because Spider-Man is... Everyone likes Spider-Man more than Venom, and I have Spider-Man, and it cost me many years ago half the price of a new Stern Pro, but I did get to play Venom at Hashman's Party, and I only played one game, or maybe two games, but I did also instantly like it as well. I had Stacey, who watches a lot of streams, screaming the rules to me on the fly, which was actually quite fun. It was like, everything's a hurry-up, Ryan! I'm like, how does this work? It's like it's a hurry up. The mode's a hurry up. This is a hurry up. Everything's a hurry up. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, I think it's a fun flow game. I really do. But like a lot of people, is it enough of an emotional reaction for me to go, oh, here, take my dollars? Yeah. And I think we all worked out what happened there. I think, I mean, it's funny. like you talk about a good shooter um do you think having a great shooting pinball machine puts maybe not more pressure but we talk about star trek um just like buttery smooth shots but i guess what's lacking in a pinball machine is that like real nuance and i i guess that's probably not tied to the layout, but the fact that Venom shoots so easy, does that put more pressure on it to have that nuance? Because it's like, wow, cool, you take this off the list now, can you do the other thing? Well, I think the comparisons that I say some people, Jeff Teolas, has made really, is that Venom is similar to Elvira, in that it's a fan layout, the shots are easy. The difference is that, dare I say it, you've got Lyman with Elvira, which is that nuanced rule set. Yeah. He was the king of nuance. Good old Lyman, LFS. Yeah. Yeah. Did I tell you about my tattoo, Martin? I think I did. Which one? I saw one at Hashman's Christmas Party last year. No, so I've got a new one. I've got Lady Justice tattooed on him. um i think i was like two years ago or maybe three years ago we're on the podcast talking about i want to get a pimple tattoo and and what should it be i think uh one of the ideas was the uh jackpot sound as a sound wave or something oh yeah okay yeah no it's not that um so it's it's lady justice which you know represents something important in my life i'm not gonna um go into it But it was an opportunity, I guess, since Metallica is my favourite pinball machine and Lady Justice is an amazing mode and you combo enough reps to start Metallica, that I tattooed LFS initials on the blade of the sword. Very small. So there we go. I've got a pinball tattoo. Ah, there you go. I've wanted to get a pinball tattoo. I just cannot settle on one. So I just don't get into it. It's hard. I mean, it's like the obvious ones are the ones that you probably maybe won't like in a year, but you could say that about any tattoo, really. Yeah. I mean, I had to get that Congo tattoo removed, obviously. Where did your RV wash your money? On your cup? Yes. Before or after the ice bath? Okay. well okay interesting segue you ready here it comes i'm just gonna move move away from that so because you mentioned star trek buttery smooth yeah elton john so interesting i'm gonna skip godfather because godfather's godfather you know it happened at the beginning of the year i want to talk about elton john because i think it is and i i kind of said this about guns and roses that i think it is beautiful it is a feast it is just overload of the senses to just look at this game my my the interesting point i make is you know for years we were like okay Steve Ritchie he's at jersey jack he finally gets to be unleashed i don't know is that the call out um And you go, okay, Star Trek layout. With a piano. With a piano. It looks beautiful. Is it... My first impression is I think it's too safe. My second impression is, oh, well, it's a fucking great layout. Now you've got a different theme and it's got Jersey Jack tech. It's probably a brand new game. But I kind of wanted more. I mean I think how long has Steve Ritchie been designing games for and how do you yeah I mean I just can't see someone that's been around for that long reinvent the wheel when they kind of know what works when someone talks to you at every expo about Star Trek is the fucking best and you're the king and I love it then when you sit there with pen and paper or whatever whatever they use to design film machines probably not pen and paper how do you throw that away and say i'm gonna i'm gonna do something radical uh i'm gonna do will of fortune uh because i'm a jesse jack now yeah i don't know what do people what people expect yeah i know and i i probably tune into what you're saying about like let's say he has got pen to paper he's got some parchment and some quills and he's he's a very old man a very wise man mr richie he is doodling and he would be looking at things going, well, why would I do a shot like that? I don't like that shot. Well, why would I do that? Interesting thing, I don't like that. How about I just do all the shots that I like? Okay, well, you've got Star Trek, Spider-Man, and now Elton John. Beautiful game. Haven't played it, but... We'll talk about it next year. Everyone tune in for our next episode in 12 months' time where we will talk about Elton John. Sorry, they're not in Australia yet. No. Neither is Pulp Fiction or I think Cactus Canyon is finally here. I don't know. It must take a while to get down. Well, I think Cactus Canyon got stuck on the warbs, so I don't know whether they've actually finally arrived. But, yeah, I know some people have been very patient. Pulp Fiction, you haven't played it, obviously. No. No. I should go to a pinball expo this year. I have the time. I have the time, Marty. I got made redundant in my job, which was just this beautiful kind of moment where I was like, hey, I can reset and I can do things now. Like I can come do things. Just on that, would it be fair for me to say you weren't in love with your job? Correct. I mean, when I'm – you know me pretty well, Marty, over the years, and you know that when I'm into something, I'm like stupidly into it. You know, hyper-focused, you might call it. like I was with my previous job, with Pimble, you know, with hiking now. I'm pretty freaking obsessed. So, yeah, time to reset and find that thing. How I knew you weren't in love with it. Because I didn't talk about it ever. No, well, you did. But whenever you spoke about your job, you would sort of talk about it with a bit of a sing song. Oh, well, you know, and I did this and ba-ba-ba. ho whatever get fucked So that how I kind of knew because you didn have your razor focus blah blah blah blah blah blah blah boom boom boom boom Yeah, don't talk for three minutes while I go on a stream of consciousness about all of my thoughts on this thing. Yeah, it's pretty obvious. So, I mean, I had that for my previous job. I had it for 10 years and, yeah, I'll find it. I'll find it, but I'm not in a rush to do it. So, I mean, that's why I went to New Zealand. I was like, fuck, I usually have, you know, 20 days of leave per year, which I know is more than people in America, but 10 of those is kind of forced leave over the Christmas period. And I was like, fuck it, I'm just going to – I can travel. I can do things now while I figure it out. So, yeah, here we go. TPF March. Yeah. I'll decide a week out. I'll fucking wait. well if you want to do a tournament you could even do indisc that's that's like that's really that's really soon isn't that is really soon yeah so is it like how many days after new year's new year's is it isn't it like just a couple of days i think um peely's going to that simon peel what another guys if you see an aussie called simon peel tell him he's a i don't know what's What's an Aussie term that only Aussies know? He's a drongo. He'll have noise-cancelling headphones on, just tap them on the shoulder, he'll take them off and say, you're a fucking drongo, mate. And Brian Seed told you to say that. No, what you will also find is that Simon Peel is one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. He is. He's a great dude. He is the quintessential Aussie. He's just a good bloke, always positive. Yeah. And a really good sportsman as well. Yes. January 4th to the 7th. So, yeah. That's crazy, January 4th. Well, okay. I will tell you, like, when I went to Indisc, you know, let's reminisce about when I went to Indisc, 2016, I decided. Certain people ignored you and certain people didn't ignore you. Correct. And some are dead, some are alive. so I decided to go to Indisk two days before and I went to America for four days. Wow. So that's all I'm saying, Ryan. You could do it. So, Marty, I'm on a little flight comparison website. The problem with it being that close to... What's the airport? Where am I flying into? LAX. LAX, okay. Melbourne to LAX. We're talking, I have to arrive there on the 4th? So I have to leave. Just say I leave on the 3rd. And then I'm going back on, say, Monday the 8th. One adult economy. All right. This is the problem. I mean, I know I'm doing it last minute, but Peely was talking to me about the costs. We're talking, all right, the cheapest, yep, Cheapest airfare flying Fiji Airways is $2,700. One way? No. Return. Okay. So that's not great because back in the heyday, you could probably $1,300, $1,400. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that's an Australian complaining about flights to LAX. I mean, I guess they're counting on most of the people coming from the US. Yep. Anyway, Elton John. Elton John. There you go. Haven't played it. Not interested in the theme. My thoughts on John, I think, were very clear in a recent episode on Final Round. I think he's a cunt. That's what I said. Don't like him. His music's okay. It's all right. It's a song that exists. It is. Although, okay, I'll tell you. You know, side note. a couple of years ago there's an australian band called panal have you heard of them i have not money okay so they i don't know how you they're sort of electronic sort of dance pop kind of stuff recently elton john and dua lipa had a song called cold heart which was a mash of a couple of old songs yeah it was okay so that was panal that remixed that ah okay right that's where i know but they also did an album called good morning to the night and i'd recommend this anyone because what they did was that they took all these different samples and elements from elton john's catalog mostly yellow brick road i think it was was it say goodbye to something and constructed brand new songs around it so it's really interesting because it's it's got this weird familiarity but it's a completely new song anyway there you go i think it's yep elton john versus per now good morning to the night have a listen anyone you might like it you might not but that's the only time i've ever gone ah elton john not bad still a cunt still a cunt once a cunt always a cunt correct okay let's go back to pinball do you want to talk pinball yeah sure okay i'll talk anything money sure so just again games of the year scooby-doo at the beginning of the year was spooky and then texas chainsaw massacre slash Looney Tunes. What are your thoughts? I don't know. The last spooky game that I bought is Rick and Morty, and I'm still cursing the pinball machine for the way it was kind of designed and things that break. Spooky is lovely. Every time something breaks and I email them, they are such a lovely company to deal with, generous beyond belief. I just wish I didn't need to contact them for certain things. Maybe have a thought, Marty. It's like once a Pimor manufacturer makes a mistake, like those machines are forever, not dysfunctional, but like some of them are kind of like ticking time bombs of things that can go wrong. Yeah, there's been some brand damage there. Let me tell you what I think as I start slurring my words. I looked at Looney Tunes slash Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I'm doing it in that priority because Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a bum theme for me. I think it's just dumb. I don't – I've never seen the movie. We'll never see the movie and I don't like horror. We talked about it. Looney Tunes, however – So what did you call it, Marty? A what theme? Bum theme. So there's A and there's B and there's bum. Bum. You said it's either one or two, but it's just the bad bum. It's bum. Swamp ass. Swamp ass. Swamp. Looney Tunes, however, I like. Here's what I like about these games, and I think Spooky are on the right track. They've simplified the game. They've done a relatively, it's not safe, but a more predictable layout. There's none of these upper levels that block the view of the ball. and the shots seem to be where they should be. They return to where they should be. The rules look like rules that they should be. There's nothing that's really... I'm trying to be nice here. Is it better than Bugs Bunny's birthday brawl? Obviously. That game's going to get a mention later, just so you know. I mean, obviously, yes, it is. What I think this is, and this is going to sound a bit patronising because I know the people running it are younger than us. I think this is a maturity for Spooky. This is them rather than going, hey, let's try and do everything possible and it not work, to, hey, let's just make a fucking great fun game and double down on the quality and just bring fun to people. and I think that's a very wise move. It's such a pretty game. Like, when you look at it, it is themed so well, which I'm not saying is rare in a pinball machine, but it's like it doesn't rely on the art as much as some other games. It's that 3D world on the glass, Marty. Haven't said that in a while. Yeah, it looks like the show that I grew up with, that my kids aren't growing up with. They don't know who these fucking characters are. It's bizarre. For some reason, in my head, I'm like, well, it's such a popular brand that my kids will know. It just doesn't... They don't exist anymore. No, it's still old person stuff, but it's kid-friendly. Looney Tunes is. Well, except for those... I know you can see it on YouTube, some dirty jokes that apparently they tried to get away with. Yeah, it's just not... Which I'm not saying that I would not let my kids watch it, but just not very PC these days with things getting cancelled for this and that. I think it's... Yeah. Wait, is Looney Tunes Pepe Le Pew? Is that the... Yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah, well, okay, I see what you mean. Like him being a complete lech. That kind of stuff doesn't fly these days. Yeah, sure. But they might not have him. The peppy lip humo-d. No, don't answer that, money. Don't answer that. Yeah, I won't. We'll get cancelled. Last one I want to talk about the year is, because I know it's been on location. I don't know whether we've got, we must have customer deliveries, but let's talk about Labyrinth, because that came out of nowhere for some. Some people knew. Did you know, money? No, I didn't. I genuinely didn't know. But you know me. I've sort of not wanted to really know, and I don't – you know, I'm not an ambulance chaser that's trying to get a scoop on the next game and trying to take people's secrets and then reveal them to the public to make myself look good. That's not what I do. So I wasn't seeking it, so I didn't know. I didn't even know that Dave David Van Es was behind it. I had a chat with him at TPF. Didn't say a thing. Well, what if he says I've got something coming, Marty. I'm not going to tell you what, but something is coming. Yeah, hey, I'm starting up a pinball company, but don't say anything. It's going to be revealed in the five days of Yeah, I mean Dr. John knew, so you know. Because he buys everything. Well, that's true. That's their first customer. Did he get one for him, Dan? Yeah, he's got one, yeah. Oh, wow. So there you go. I don't know. There's others in there as well. We didn't really elaborate on Godfather and others, but a good year for pinball reveals. Do you like Labyrinth, Marty, the movie? Okay. Interesting question. First of all, I'll rephrase that by saying, do I think it's a good theme? Yes, I do. do I like the movie I loved the movie when it came out I tried watching it about 5 years ago no no hasn't aged well and we're not even talking about his codpiece which everyone keeps talking about the codpiece it's not a codpiece guys it's just a big fucking cock in tights it's all it is it's not actually a codpiece if you want a codpiece go look up Word Up by Cameo there's a fucking cock piece that's a great song you know what I'm talking about don't you yeah you have a cock piece in that yeah but what is what is that word I haven't heard that word before I it sounds like you're saying cock piece but you're saying cod piece cod piece what's what is is that just is it cod piece I mean it wraps around your cock to make your cock look bigger no it's not cock piece it's cod C-O-D yeah I know but what does that mean like what is like oh is that like your penis is like a big cod no I'm not saying what are the origins of the word. It's not like a spelling bee contest. Origins, please, of codpiece. No, like what... Like, define codpiece. Like, is that a... Okay. If I had to define it, I would say it's a triangular piece that's attached to the front of men's hoes, covering the fly. It may be held in place by ties or buttons. It was an important fashion item of European clothing during the 15th and 16th centuries. in the 16th century becoming a firm, upwards-pointing projection based on a stiff material such as boiled leather or in plate armour, steel. That's just off the top of my head, obviously. Yeah, just like the flies. Blackadder. If you ever watch Blackadder, cod pieces. You remind me of the cock. What cock? The cock with the power. The power of who do you do do what? Remind me of the cock. Dun-dun. All right. I don't know what that is. That's the song, but I replace your mommy of the babe with your mommy of the cock. Okay. Obviously, you're not a Labyrinth fan like I am, Marnie. No. See, that's the whole thing. I loved it when it came out, and I was a massive Labyrinth fan, but I'm 50. How old am I? 53. I'm 53 years old. I literally had to look at the date because I was born in 70, so I'm always on the year. So if it's 23, I'm 53. Ah, that's so easy. So I'm a 53-year-old man, so no, it doesn't appeal to me. But I still think it's a great theme for pinball. Does David Bowie's cock feature on the pinball machine at all? I don't know. Is there a codpiece multiball? It's only a two-ball multiball, mate. It's only a two-ball. They're very unthemed. They're very unthemed. Bowen Kierens is true to David Bowie's balls. Yep. So there you go. So let's also, sort of semi-2023 related, let's have a look at the top ten pinball machines rated on Pinside. Okay, now I see where Bugs Bunny's going to get me. Okay. Okay, so at number 10, we have, and so this is at the 24th of December at, you know, let's call it 11pm. At number 10, we have Foo Fighters. Pretty fucking high. I would have thought it would have been higher. But maybe theme? Maybe not everybody gets Foo Fighters? I don't know. Let's try and remember this for next year, because I think it'll go down a little bit. Not because I don't think it's a good game. I think it's a great game. But compared to all... Actually, no, Alvara has a similar amount of ratings. It'll eventually have more ratings, and I think it'll go down a little bit. Okay. So number nine, we've got Monster Bash. I think that's rated too high. I'm just going to say it. I think so. I think the top three, you know, AFM, Medieval Madness, and Monster Bash always going to be there. They're the golden child of the 90s, the three most beautiful games that people just like. Lord of the Rings. Beautiful. Yep. How's the sound of the destroying the ring go? Like someone's just nutting very slowly. so this next one i think is a bit of a surprise but not really because i always thought this was a great game better than people gave it credit for at the start and that's deadpool chimichanga bunga uh a game that just makes you feel good for playing pinball um shots wise but also just just the funness of the theme yeah make fun pinball machines yep yeah so and the rules are very accessible is what I would say. Anyone can play and start having fun immediately. Yeah, start a mode with a couple of shots, but hit 10 shots before you start the mode and you're going to blow up the mode. The risk, the nuance is there, but to the untrained eye, it's just hit the scoop to start the mode and stuff will happen. But you can, yeah. Yep. All right. First, Keith Irwin game in the top 10. Iron Maiden Legacy of the Beast I love my Iron Maiden Great game Yeah I mean I could never really get connected with it Because I didn't unbox it Wait didn't you unbox it and then bring it to my house Or did I unbox it No it got delivered to your house Ah shit Sorry I put like 10,000 games on it No it wasn't that It was the fact that it had Swirl marks all over the playfield like somebody had used one of those circular polishing things and hadn't cleaned the cloth and it was just just swirl marks all over it so anyway whatever still as I still love the game and I kind of miss the game it's one of those ones if I was to build a a game room again and get some I would want that on my list I would swap out some of the music that's all disco maiden Yep. Number five. That was at number six. Sorry. Number five, Elvira's House of Horrors. So this is, I think, a bit controversial. Because? Because I don't know whether it's that good. It's good. I would say it's top 20. I don't know whether it's top five. Yeah, I don't think it's top five either. It is a great game. And for the short time that I had it at my house, I did a temporary swap with someone where I gave him my Avengers. And while Avengers was quite new, and he gave me his Alvarez premium, and after two weeks, he was meant to be a software however long we wanted, which you'd think would be a while. But after two weeks, he was like, can I have my Alvarez back, please? But I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't get out of my system. And I put my name down, Marty, for a premium. and I was just like, let me know when they make more. And then it went up in price and then went up in price again and it's just one of those games where I feel like Stern has not perfected, but the way... I'm sure they would have sold ten times the amount more of Iron Maidens or Jurassic Parks or Godzillas and it's more profitable for them. But in terms of releasing that theme and following the market in terms of upping the price. I feel like they've really done that quite... They've been releasing five versions. Yeah, as in, like, it's not... If they just made more premiums at the original price or whatever it was, or the normal premium price, then I don't think the game would be as revered as it is because it's such a commodity because it's so hard to obtain. And when people obtain it, they're like, oh, I got one of the limited editions with the couch. I got one of the limited editions with this version and that version. They feel special. And they go on Pinside and they're like, 10 out of 10, this is the fucking best game ever. Yeah. Okay, this is the whole thing about rating systems and voting and all that kind of stuff. It's very subjective and it's how it makes you feel. And I don't begrudge people for voting this way because it's a fucking hell of a fun game. It really is. It's silly. It's camp. It's fun. As you said before, it's got nuanced rules. It's got great light shows, great art. It's the whole package, really. It is. So, as I say, I'm surprised it's there, but I don't begrudge it. You can stay there, Elvira. Attack from Mars, number four, blah, blah. Number three, Medieval Madness. Still don't dig it. Okay. Love Attack from Mars. Love Attack from Mars. Cannot get enough of it. It was the same game. Oh, fuck off. Can't. It's pretty similar, Marty. Nah. It's definitely a copy and paste or a modifying. Yeah, they are similar. I know that. Okay. Number two. Hashtag Keith. It's Jurassic Park. well deserved absolutely well deserved should be number one possibly i don't know i don't know what godzilla's like money i haven't played it so can i ask you a question speaking of godzilla which is number one are you able to go into your insider connected to see how many times your game has been played uh i don't know because have you not played it in 11 months so i've had your game wait if we let's rewind back 12 months marty was talking about godzilla and how he how he doesn't think it's a great game because he's because of whatever fucking reason and it was rated number one at that time and i'm like fuck it i'll just i'll just come and drop it off at your new house marty and just load it into your garage and you can have it for a couple of weeks and and then i i arrive at marty's we record on the 18th or something i arrived at your house on like christmas eve or some fucking shit and i look at your i look at your garage which has It's just easy access. You just drive your car up into the garage, and you're like, nah, cunt, it's going over here, up the fucking spiral staircase. And I had to get a trolley and strap it in. Some of this story's not true. It's still there. I lent money to my Godzilla for a couple of weeks, and he's had it for 12 months. I mean, I also don't really have that much room for it because I have a stupid amount of pinball machines, but I'll see you tomorrow, Marty. I'll come pick it up on Christmas Day. I'm just curious to know, I feel I've played it four times. No way, Marty. And I reckon you may see that it's had eight game plays because my son played it four times. I'm going to charge you $2 per game. That'd be $8, thanks. Look, here's what I will say to you. And I've said this about this game. I understand it's a great game, and I understand why everyone says it's the greatest game of all time. I get it. And I objectively understand it's a great game. I don't like it because I don't like the theme. And as I've said, Godzilla and Mechagodzilla and that dumb voice. I just don't like how they've made it camp. I wanted it to be really dark and sinister and evil, but it's not. And also... But I mean, was any of the movies of that era dark and sinister? Like, wasn't it camp? No, that's right. So obviously they've gone with the Toho, which is it. That's fine. I'm not saying don't do that. What I'm saying is, if you wanted to make a game for me, which clearly you should, then... Are you listening, Keith? Are you listening, Keith? He is listening. I know he's listening. He wants us to do the twerpies. So we are going to do our version of the twerpies straight after this. So anyway, number one is Godzilla. Congratulations. Fuck off. I don't care. It's fine. It's fine. I just think it's too easy. As I said to you, I played. I set it up. You left. I played one game for an hour and I got through a shitload on that game and I went yeah okay I've done it what's next what's making me want to do that again I don't want to have an hour long game again it's the whole Lord of the Rings thing here we go yeah it's still on it's currently on code 1.10 I don't know what the latest code is but I've clicked around enough in Stern Insider GC 3.3 million MSR and who the fuck is Vu and 3.3 billion sorry yes who Vu I don know I think this might have been during a comp oh no this would have been when I was streaming and that would have been VuVuF that I would have put his initials on Ah Yep. SVT, TPS. No, CyberTries, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, yeah, you've played four games on it, and you've got four high scores. Oh, no, I tell a lie. I streamed it, so I've obviously played a little bit longer. Clearly, I've forgotten that stream. Pay up, Marty. Yep, whatever. Well, would you try it on Ucode, Marty? I mean, do you want it for another year? I'll turn it on and put new code on it, and I'll have a game. I've got nothing to do over Christmas, so there you go. Okay. All right. So, twerpy related, it's not, but let's now talk about the bottom 10 on Pinside. Okay. Let's start with 277. this goes down to 286 underbirds 277 is Orbiter 1 have you ever played it? you know what, it's one of those things where I don't know if I've played it or I've just watched a lot of streams that I I think that I've played it and my memory is playing tricks on me just like when you meet someone after talking to them online for three years on Pinside or whatever and you're like, have we actually met before or do we just, like I I haven't met Dr. Pin and Mrs. Pin, but I feel like I know them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know. So I don't know, Marty, have I? I don't know. I still remember when it came out. So it came out in 1982, so I would have been 12. Remember, my age is with the year. And I remember Hoyt's, George Street in Sydney, and they had pinball machines downstairs and they had pinball machines upstairs, you know, back when pinball machines were cinemas. and I just remember walking up and seeing... I've sort of talked about this moment before. When you go into an arcade back then, playing pinball as much as I did, when you walk into an arcade and there's a brand new pinball machine that you haven't seen... Remember, 1982, we barely had electricity. So you never knew what game was coming, right? No electricity. So I just remember walking up going, oh, oh, a new game, new game, and looking at it going, holy crap, what the fuck is this? Put my money in, because what I used to do, long story short, my mum used to give us money and go, okay, go into the city and go and watch a movie, and then we would have to come back and try and make up some bullshit about the movie, because we'd never go and see it. We'd spend our money on pennies, right? So I just remember playing this Orbiter One just thinking, oh my god this is the future of pinball pinball is such a degenerate thing like when you hear stories like that of how people got into pinball a lot of it was like that I mean like I remember hearing an interview from Eugene Jarvis about him like just doing some degenerate fucking thing to get free games and like and now he owns Raw Thrills you know like it's such a segway is just absolute be in the generate. Sort of in a similar way. My brothers got me into pinball and also started me smoking at seven. At seven? Seven years old was when I started smoking. And how old are you now, mate? 53. I don't smoke now. But I started buying my own cigarettes, my own packets of cigarettes. Get this. Because you've got children. At the age of 10. I was 10 years old anyway you could buy cigarettes as a child over the counter what? it was technically illegal but they just didn't give a shit no it wasn't back then what? how old were you Marty? I was 7 so I was 10 so this was 1980 yeah so anyway there you go let's move on to the next shit game and that is at $278. Drumroll, please. Shack Attack. Oh, gosh. I love when these come off for sale because they come for sale often. Great pin for a first pin owner. It's like, no, it's not. No, it's not even that. People think. People go, oh, okay, I've got a pinball machine. I need to sell it. They'll go online. They'll go, oh, I see someone's got a Medieval Madness for $15,000. okay, look, maybe I'll just put mine up for $8,500. No, you've got to actually read the market. That's what's happened there. So you do still see games like Shack Attack going up for sale for $5,000, $6,000, and you just wait for people to pile on. It doesn't take long. Okay, next one. This is interesting because, oh, there's actually – It does appear twice. This actually does appear twice. so maybe we should have gone up maybe we should have gone up one on Waterworld which was $276 which is it's a shit game but it's fun okay so we're talking about the first entry in the bottom 10 of the twerpies is Harley Davidson by Sega which then got rebranded as Harley Davidson by Stern it's, have you played it? I have Marty I played it at fuck, what was that place? It was a really cool place just off Chapel Street, and I played it, and I was trying to understand the rules. I'm like, okay, I hit the motorbike to start multiball, to lock balls, and then I lock balls in the motorbike, and then during multiball, I keep on hitting the motorbike for jackpots, and then I hit the motorbike for super jackpots. And I'm like, what? Who coded this fucking shit? Okay. Yeah, but it's of the time, okay? so it hasn't aged well I don't think it's the worst game it's got a video mode in it that's been used in god knows how many games like I think even Guns N' Roses has got that same video mode um it's not I don't think it's okay I don't think it's worse than Rescue 9-11 I don't think it's I don't think it's worse than... 9-1-1. Yep. Rescue 9-1-1. You've played that, haven't you? I have. I've just never heard it called Rescue 9-1-1 versus Rescue 9-1-1. Even though it's the same thing, it just sounds weird. Yeah, sure. It's not worse than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Data Released. Okay. It's not worse than Back to the Future. Fuck, what a fucking steaming dump that is. Anyway, whatever. so after Harley Davidson we've then got one of my favourites and I was thinking about this the other day how I would want this game in a collection if I had an extraordinarily large collection obviously Rolling Stones by Stern let me just take a sip just to be able to get enough courage to talk about this fucker I'm empty money I don't know how much more stuff do you have on your list should I top up oh I am now so before we started recording I told you I've got a 1.25 litre bottle of gin and tonic with an extra strong pour of gin in it and this year's gin Christmas gin is by a company called Puss and Mew get it? Puss and Mew M-E-W no I didn't get it no I don't know either and this particular gin the one I've got is coconut and honey oh god it's good but yeah so I'm now three quarters of the way through the bottle so get another pour yourself another alright what's the mix somebody just tonic okay alright give me a sec okay alright I'm back you back can you hear that yep yeah I wrote some notes I don't know why I wrote some notes just when I in the last three weeks since we had that conversation saying we're going to do the podcast whenever I thought of something had some random thought I wrote it down but it's such a dumb dot point in my notes list and I don't think I can segue into this so it's now an appropriate time to say that I got a blowjob. This is not the story, by the way. This is not the story. Okay, okay. I got a blowjob during dialed in, in the selfie mode. You know, when you go into the selfie mode and it takes pictures of you. I got multiball and I was receiving a blowjob at the same time. It was good. It was a... Oh. I've got to... Just... Okay, hold on a second. Just... Let me just have another drink. Okay. I've got a picture to show you, Matty. No, okay. It's not of my trip. I don't have a lot of questions. I have one question, maybe a follow-up question. Okay. Getting a blowjob whilst you're playing pinball, has that happened on more than one occasion? I don't think so. It was kind of a dare, like, how much can you distract me? Okay, sure. And not very well, Grand Champion. Yeah, okay. Like, six SIM cards. Oh, but then you saw those mum jeans and you're like, boom, load to the back of the throat. All right, I'm sharing a photo with you, right, you messenger? Oh, I don't know whether I should. Look. I feel like part of that you are playing up for the camera. But it does look like – if someone – if you show that photo to somebody, somebody would look at that and say, you're playing dialed in while getting a blowjob. Well, it made me wonder. So many thoughts, Marty. Like how many people have done more than that? Right into – what's our email address, Marty? Head2HeadPimple.com. Head2HeadPimple.com. What have you done that's worse or better, depending on how you look at it, than getting a blowjob whilst playing Dialed In. Yeah, a blowjob during multiball. And if you've got pictures, even better. We'll put them up on Facebook. This could just be a cover for our episode. Oh, it is. It is. You can't stop me now. Wait a second. Save images. All right. done i can't even believe it you can't you know you can delete it i've already saved it oh it is okay back to the bottom 10 honestly look i can understand the appeal of it i have never just thought to myself hmm i'm really enjoying this game of pinball i think there's one thing that could just really improve my game and that's wrapping your lips around this. Anyway. Rolling Stone, speaking of big lips. Yeah. Fuck, I should have just waited. That should have been my segue. Okay. I've got to work on that for next year, Marty. I would have this in a large collection because I think there's a game there. It's hiding behind those big motherfucking lips that just gets in the ball. away of the ball at every turn. So someone, Tom Kopera? Someone, I'm looking it up. Tom Kopera, Tom Kopera? Whatever you want to say. I think he's back at Stern involved in all this kind of stuff. He designed that game. And I think if you could go back and rewrite the code to that game, and the only thing you'd need to change is how Mick on a stick behaves, I mean, there's obviously some other stuff as well. People have found some exploits and it's not fun to watch in tournaments. But it's not that bad a game. I've rubbished it for years and years and years. I think there's a game there. Maybe that'll be the next remake. Maybe they'll re-theme it. Yeah, maybe. So then we've got the next Harley Davidson from Sterns. We'll talk about that. Have you ever played? This is at number 282. We're getting to you, Thunderbirds. Don't worry, everybody. Raven by Gottlieb. I don't think I have, Marty. I maybe played one game at TPF many years ago with Ron Hallett. Maybe. I don't know. He'll probably remember. He's a freak like that. I don't think I have. Yeah. It's the one that's got the female Rambo on the back, right? Was there a movie? Were they trying to rip off a movie of a time? Rambo. But with a chick? With a female chick, yeah. Okay. Yep, yep. So I mean it's obviously not the worst thing That John Trudeau's done Oh god Are you listening Dave? Burn your trans light Dave But let me tell you What's bad about Raven All of it From that shitty When they started doing those Photo backglasses It's got a very Average uninspiring layout I can tell you what the worst part of this game is it has got the most boring rule set you will ever play it's just one of those ones where you hear it does stuff and you go that is bringing me no joy Marie Kondo style so therefore it has to go it's awful awful awful awful and I remember So at school, we used to have pinball machines. We had them at school, but also down the local shops. Down at the Smoko, Marty? We used to smoke cigarettes at seven years old. We did, shut up. But we only had pinball machines in our common rooms from year, I want to say year 10 upwards, but from year seven to year nine, you could go down the shops once a week, and the shops had pinball machines. Well, they had a pinball machine. And one time they had Raven, and I played it once, and never decided to go down to the shops again. I have an opportunity once a week for a bit of escapism, but I'm fucking done. I'd rather be in my dorm reading a book. Because you know how there's people that say, oh, there's no such thing as bad pinball. We're going to get to Thunderbirds. but people say there's no such thing as bad pinball. I think if you only ever knew of Raven as the only pinball machine that ever existed, you'd be fine. You'd be okay. But when you know that there are games out there that actually have good rules and layouts and everything, it's shit. It is so shit. I will play it one day, mate. One day. So it's not Thunderbirds, man. So next one is Spy Hunter. Again, these are games you haven't played, aren't they? I don't think I've played Spy Hunter. Okay. The one thing I always, like, I don't even have to look up the flyer or any imagery. What I remember about Spy Hunter, it's got this stupid left outline. It's stupid. Look it up. Look it up and have a look at the left outline. Spy Hunter, was that a video game? It was a video game. maybe it was based on the same thing or maybe just Spy Hunter is such a generic thing. Okay, I've got an image up with a giant male head. Yep. Oh yeah, there's a lot of real estate. There's effectively two outlanes on the left hand side. There's none on the right. Can the ball be saved down the middle one? Yes, there's a gate that comes out. Okay. But it was just hard as nails. it's just not no, it's just not it's not fun. So I can understand I can understand why it's the fourth worst rated game of all time. Where's Spinal Tap? I don't think there's enough ratings. No, there's not enough ratings. So, next one is as we've mentioned before Bugs Bunny Birthday Ball. I remember when this came out I played it a lot and again it was one of those oh my god, it's a new game and it's Bugs Bunny it's this is fun this is interesting. It hasn't aged well. It doesn't age after the second game you play or the first game you play. You're like, wow, how does this work? And backwards play field and then you do it once. You're like, all right, I want to go back to normal people now. Yep, it's done. Okay, second worst game of all time is Hercules. And rightly so because it's not a real game. It's a novelty game. I saw it for the first time and I went, what the fuck is this? this is insane and just loved it because fuck this is crazy but it's not hercules holds the record for the pinball machine that i have lost interest in the quickest i mean if you discount the fact that you never want to play a game for like never want to press the start button but i remember seeing it at the australian pinball expo in 2013 was it or 14 i don't know it was when i was freshly into pinball and I was like wow discovering all these games and Wizard of Oz like sucked me into its vortex and I saw Hercules there and I'm like wow there's a giant pinball machine and I plunged the ball and it was about one second after that moment where I wanted to walk away because I'm like ah it's not a pinball it's a snooker ball and it takes really long and I've lost interest before the ball has gotten to the top of the pinball machine That's awful. Yeah. Treadful. Apparently better than Thunderbirds. So I've said to you, I've sort of mellowed. I've mellowed in my old age. I've also mellowed more when I've now understood what it takes to make a pinball machine. So Thunderbirds is terrible, right? It is. however I reckon if you completely rewrote the rules to that game you could have something that's what I think a good game hiding there Marty? is that what the title of the episode is? I never said a good game hiding there's a good game hiding somewhere no there's just it's not a good rule set is the problem is the big problem I still maintain I like the look of the game I do I actually quite like the art I found it very data East. I think the layout is very data East. It's data East, but it's just got a bit of a balked rule set. And those two things are just not cohesive. So I, I, I don't know. It will never be a top 10 game, but it's got a lot to go. But I just, I think it's the rules that let it down. That's all. Yeah. It's, it was quite broken when I, when I played it, you know, there's that whole unlimited multiple hack where you... Yeah. Yeah. Again, code, change that. Did it, though? No, I know. I'm saying rewrite the code to change that. I don't know. Yeah. Just the history behind it as well. I actually went and found Spinal Tap, Marty. Apparently Spinal Tap was released last year. Yeah. There's five recorded reviews from people that played it at Pinfest, and it's also sitting at the Pimola Hall of Fame in Vegas. And yeah, 2.8 out of 10, 6.3 out of 10, 3.7 out of 10, 5 out of 10, 5.3 out of 10. So I'm not sure how things get scaled with Pinsider Reviews, but it seems pretty on par with Thunderbirds. Yeah, yeah. Again, it's one of these things, regardless of the person behind it, having now understood what it takes there's a lot of effort that goes into something that bombs like that so I kind of feel for them is what I'm saying this game has received 6 approved Pinside ratings 44 more approved ratings are needed to get a rating eligible for the Pinside Top 100 guys we need this game rated, there's 44 more people way more people from Pinside and I'm sure we'll get at least 44 listeners today, if you've played this game please leave an honest review, we're not telling you to leave a bad review, your honest opinion of This Is Spinal Tap on Pinside. Let's get this game rated. Yeah, there you go. Nine people have this game on their wish list. One person has this game in their collection. Have they? Yeah, okay. Anyway, that's... There's the bottom ten of Pinside. That's our version of the twerpies this year. Keith, hope you're happy. Worst game of the year. Your game, Keith. Wait, was there any game? No. No. Fucking Keith. Hashtag Keith. Hashtag Keith. Fucking just pull your finger out, Keith. You're doing fuck all, mate. Fuck all. Fucking gets, you know, three games in the top six, and he's like, I own 50% of the top six cunts. I'm not doing anything anymore. Do you reckon that's what he does? Yeah, yeah. And he goes, I'm too busy playing Dialed In. You know what's happening. Keith is going to email. He's going to be the first person that emails and he's just like, head job, amateurs, Pukaki party. It didn't know what... Oh my God, Marty. Two girls, one pin. Just people shitting on Keith. Last week, Marty, I was at Lake Pukaki and I had to stop myself every time I said it because I'm like, why do they name this, like, one letter away from, like, P is the closest saying letter to B. And every time I mention, like, something, I'm like, where was that beautiful picture? I'm like, Lake Pukaki. And it just sounds like Pukaki. Do you think you maybe might need to write to them and say, hey, could you consider changing it to a B? Yeah, hey, I don't know when the porn act of multiple people just jizzing all over someone became popular. but if it was before you named your lake, can you please change your lake? If this is a Maori culture that's been going on for hundreds of years... Here's a new culture. Yeah. If it's newer, then please change it. If it's older, then I'll write a letter to Mr. Bukkake. Like Bukkake. Hilarious. So we're speaking of Hashtag Keith. Jaws, do you care? I'll care when I see it but I don't, I think I think it's almost like a joke at this point kind of like snakes on a plane, you know that's the first thing I think of, it's like people have been kind of wanting Jaws for so long that it's now become a thing but I think that's what makes it popular is that people have been talking about the Jaws pinball machine since I've been into, you know, pinball in my nine or so years on pin size. It's pretty hyped up. Do you agree with Jeff Teolis that Keith Elwin is the greatest designer of all time after three games? Four if you can't, James Bond? Yeah, I actually do. I mean, I'm sure he can fuck it up. I mean, I'm sure his life can take a turn and he can start fucking shit up. But yeah, he's pretty fucking good. And I'm sure it's very hard. I don't know what Keith's ego is like. But I'm sure it's pretty hard when everyone fucking, like, just is on the floor just all the time going blah, blah, blah. Like, you're the best, Keith. Like, how do you deal with that when you're, like, the best pinball player that then turns into the best designer who also designs his own rule set? Like, how do you keep on going? I don't know. Yeah, I just, I just, we love you, Keith. I love you, Keith. Yes, in that way. But I don't think four games is enough to say that you're the greatest of all time. And I say that because I had done my analysis where I went through all the I literally went through all the games of all time Well I started This is actually a true story This is a true story I went through all the games of all time Yep. It's a true story. You know... And you sell a spreadsheet? Okay. I was just about to say. Yeah. I was just about to say, as evidence, how much do you think I like a spreadsheet? You fucking... Like, you Pukaki love it. You like Pukaki, love it. Seriously. So I took every game from Solid State onwards and I ranked them to my favourite games and I then added up and calculated whom I thought was the best designer. And? It's John Borg. So you think John Borg has four better games than Godzilla, Iron Maiden. Yep. What's the other one? Sorry, Godzilla, Jurassic Park, Iron Maiden and Avengers. Yep. John Boog has four better games than the summation of those games. Yep. Plus, he's also got another 20 games just sitting there in the back pocket. Well, no one cares about the 20 games. They're not as good as Avengers. Okay, so we've got Metallica, we've got Walking Dead. What are the other two? But it's like somebody now, in the last three years, making three movies that are the highest rated movies of all time. and you go, okay, you are now the greatest director of all time. Fuck you, Martin Scorsese. You can get fucked. This person that's just M. Night Shyamalan-ed his way into this place all of a sudden is the best of all time. No, you need more time. No, answer this. Okay, no, you don't. Okay, so Godzilla, Metallica, let's just – people aren't going to say they're equal, but let's just say they cancel each other out. Jurassic Park and Walking Dead, the same thing, cancel each other out. what is John Ball's equivalent of Iron Maiden? Like, what's his third best game? Hold on a second. I can't. I've got to find my spreadsheet. Spreadsheet. And my eyes are blurred. My eyes are blurred. I think your eyes are fine. I think you're... Something else is blurred. Oh, my God. It's almost midnight. It's almost... This will be the first time that we're actually doing the Christmas episode. On Christmas. On Christmas. Merry Christmas. Okay, people. John Falk. See, again, this is subjective, because people are going to go, oh, that's bullshit, it's not that good. Tron. Avatar. Iron Man. No. I mean, Avatar. Guardians of the Galaxy. Nah. Not in the same league. Rush. Nah. Aerosmith. Nah. Kiss. No. You can argue that Iron Maiden is in a similar league in its, like, not perfection, but its simplicity of an easy, tight rule set. Tron, beautiful, unique. X-Men, awesome game. No, these don't compare to Iron Maiden and Avengers. I hate saying Avengers because it's the one game that I'm disappointed in. not the layout i think the layout is is his best one i click john borg and crocodile hunter outback adventure comes up he did the artwork for it what the fuck i don't think he did i think i don't think i don't think anyone did any artwork for that anyway okay this is okay remember what i said i said this is what i believe i don't believe godzilla is awesome so therefore it doesn't count I don't think Avengers is awesome So it doesn't count I think that Iron Maiden is great And I think Jurassic Park is The best game that's possibly ever been made Right? There you go I've said it, but that's Two games for me For me Now you can go Look at these things and say Godzilla is number one on Pinside Drake has had the most number one or top ten songs in history. Is Drake the best musical artist that's ever existed? Okay, point well made. We're going to move on from it. Mariah Carey, she's also been one of the most successful. Is she great? It's fucking Christmas time. Can you please play us out with All I Want For Christmas? No, I can't. Actually, I might do because there's this really weird auto-tuned version of it. We'll see how we go. Anyway, that's my point. My point is, and I also think that it is unfair to be putting pressure on Keith because Keith is actually – you've met Keith. I've met Keith. Keith is a lovely guy. Keith has zero ego, and I mean zero ego. From what I can tell, when people come up to him saying – people go, oh, I love you, Keith. He walks away. He's like, oh, my God, just – I'm just a guy. But Keith doesn't want to be called the number one player designer of all time. He doesn't even want to be known as the number one player of all time. He just wants to be Keith. He just wants to be Keith. Have we just talked about Keith, Alan? Like, he doesn't want to be talked about, and then we talked about it for 20 fucking minutes. Is the title of the episode Keith? Bukkake Keith. Bukkaking all over Keith. Then he'll listen. He'll listen for sure then. Two designers, one cup. There you go. I think he'll listen. If we call the episode Keith Elwin Gets Bukkake, I think we'll get a couple of listeners. You know, just... Is there anything else on your list, Marty? No, that's... I think that's... Okay, no. I've got one more thing. Because it's all about... It's all about, I mean, we've talked about Elvira, how it's being rehashed, and rightly so. I want to talk to you about Stranger Things. Your thoughts on Stranger Things to warrant another run of Stranger Things. What are my thoughts? Do I think it's worth, yeah, I mean, the demand is there. We've talked about it many times. It sucked a big fat one. No, sorry. It sucked another fat one. It sucked a long... It sucked one that had just been in an ice bath. In an ice bath, yes. It wasn't great when it came out, so I don't think it sold as well as it should have. And then the code... There's a good game hiding there, Marnie. And then code made it better. And then it became desirable, but they weren't making it by then. It's the same cycle we've seen many times, like with Guardians of the Galaxy and other games that got the code treatment it deserves. So, yeah, of course, it fucking earns more than all the new games. You think Foo Fighters is a great earner? No. Stranger Things still earns more money, buddy. Really? Yeah. Everyone loves Stranger Things. Yeah. And this is it, right? I mean, we can say what we think as much as we like. The public will tell you what they think. And they're not on Pinside. They're not on Facebook. they're at your divey place playing pinball i actually played stranger things today there was a little tiny issue with the one that i have on a location uh and i fixed it and i was there with a friend and and they played it for the first time and the upside down mode came on and they were in awe they were like this is fucking sick and yeah um that's all you need that's like i say you hook people into people yeah i mean it got a lot of hate when it came out yeah it did but that's what you do when you when you rehire someone who who released the shadow attack from mars and medieval madness like what do you want him to do like what people want steve richard to do at jersey jack i think that's uh yeah there's a parallel there and i sort of mentioned that that when when he did come back Brian Eddy that's his name everyone was just like oh he's done these mega games what is he going to do now that's new and crazy yeah he did more of the same and i think that's i think that's really the hate was just like oh well it's just attack for mars or it's just medieval madness and i was one of those naysayers as well i'm i'm okay i'm big enough to admit it and i also played the early code and it was pretty basic and it wasn't fun but then it just it came good i i still think that it i think some of the modes are a bit generic but i really like the mini wizard modes i think they're great i actually haven't like i i own it i kind of bought it to to rent out and put on location and uh i actually haven't sat there and put crazy amounts of of time into it to to get to those those wizard modes i I remember Greg, when I played it at his house, explained everything to me and it made sense. There's a lot you have to do. It's like the whole demigod and Moses. It's so freaking hard to get through. But yeah, I look forward to when people don't put lots of money in it and I can bring it back home and play it, get some time on it. Oh, good luck with the projector in 10 years. That was a comment I read yesterday. Are they slowly deteriorating? Is that what's happening? Well, I mean, it's an interesting point. I mean, projectors do deteriorate over time. I've had to replace the projector here. Thanks, James. Because the one that came with the house was just fading badly. So, yeah, they do, but it might just be a new globe, guys. This just came up on Facebook. I just went to Facebook to search for something. I actually forgot what I'm searching for because I'm tired and a little bit drunk. Seven years ago, I uploaded a 360 photo of all the pinball machines in my collection. I had Lord of the Rings, Monster Bash, which I don't want to have. Attack from Mars, I still have. ACDC, I still have. Star Trek, Tron, still have. The Hobbit, do not have. Wizard of Oz, I have. Very broken. Can someone from Jersey Jack please send me some light boards? Because I've replaced them and they're still fucked. Did I ever tell you about that money? No. I always thought that your Wizard of Oz was rock solid. Yeah, it was until, I think, I don't know how many, like 10 light boards went, and then someone generously donated their old light boards because they did the proper conversion. And it took me a while to do the swap, and Stacey Borg helped me one night, and then it worked for about a month, and then it's happened again. and I've got the light boards again like because I didn't use them all and I just haven't had the willpower because I know if it doesn't work I have to drop I think a grand and a half US maybe or something crazy like that and then I have to take apart everything like I have to like lift up the like you know it's not a whole playfield swap but I have like this there's light boards in the upper playfield and I have to assemble a lot and I just don't have the willpower I'm I'm afraid, Marty. I'm afraid. Yeah, oh, God. But, you know, your pinball royalty, surely somebody should comp you a set of light boards. Yeah, I mean, we do a podcast. That's right. I sent you that photo last week, Marty. So when I did my little detour to Christchurch, there's a really cool place called Pinkadia. And I was like, holy fucking shit. Christchurch is so small. Everything was like a kilometre away from where I was staying. and I see like this picture of a giant like arcade and it's like open till 11 p.m like on a Wednesday I'm like fuck yeah uh so I drive there park out front I have like all these coins that I've amassed over my my trip I'm like I can spend 20 bucks and I was gonna throw this money away anyway and I knock on the door and this guy like because it was locked for some reason at at 8 p.m and and the guy opens I hope he's listening by the way and he answers and he's just like uh what do you want Are you like an Uber driver, an Uber Eats guy? Because they sell food there as well. And I'm like, no. He's like, what are you here for? I'm like, pinball? I want to play pinball. He's like, ah, no, we're closed today, mate. And I'm like, why? He's like, ah, we've got to move stuff around. And he pointed to us. There's like a notice board with like a million kind of things. And one of the things said, we're closed today. And he's about to shut the door. And my brain was like, let him know you're Ryan C. And he will let you in and play pinball. and then my other part of my brain is like, you're a fucking nobody, right? Don't do that. Don't embarrass yourself. Don't fucking embarrass yourself. So I didn't. But I hope he's listening. It's disappointing. I was hoping you'd say, hey, don't you know who I am? I'm Ryan Z. You'd be like, don't care, fuck. Don't give a fuck. Don't fuck off. He's a New Zealander. It's fuck off, bro. Fick off, bro. Fuck off, bro. Don't you... I don't give a fuck, bro. That's what I talk. exactly how they talk you wanna go down to KFC bro? yeah get some ghost chips? it's exactly David Peck sounds exactly like him have you? I've got a lot of pinball machines bro okay America's Most Haunted from Spooky don't have that I think it's the only pinball machine I've ever sold that I've lost a decent amount of money on The Shadow still have that Simpsons Pinball Party and Spider-Man still have both of them so that was my collection seven years ago once upon a time when I had 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 bit more machines. What a time to have just 12 bit more machines. So it seems like you've had a few rotating after that because you've really hovered around the 20 mark, haven't you? No. It got very close to 40 and it's around that still. Wow. It's too many. Yeah. I'm thinking old house. Yes. Well, I mean, when you rent them out and when you have them on location, it's kind of like they don't exist. I have a spreadsheet as well, mate. You have spreadsheets for pinball ratings. I have spreadsheets to remind myself where my pinball machines are because sometimes I forget. Ah, shit. I gave Stu my Alien Star to fix it, you know, eight months ago. I hope he's going to fix it. Hey, Stu, I hope you're going to fix my Alien Star. I can get it back one day and play it. I've just quickly gone to Facebook because what you were talking about wasn't interesting. And what's actually just come up to me, seriously, you cannot write this up, is somebody's written on Pimble Oswald by Swap Cell, interested in a Bugs Bunny Pimble. Message me with what you have. Just message me. True story. I can give you a book hockey if you want. True story. That's exactly what's just happened. I thought I opened up Facebook as well like I refreshed to see if I could see the same thing you were seeing but it was just a message from Hashman saying I love carols but Paul Kelly has issues yeah he was saying I mentioned that we were recording he was like oh no wonder that fucking cunt's not responding to me that's how he talks what else you got? I've got a story to try and beat the cook bacon story but I still don't know if I want to tell Fuck it, I'll tell it. Earlier this year, money, I was at a day festival. You're into electronic music, aren't you, money? You know I am. Do you know Cosmic Gate? Yes. Yeah, Cosmic Gate we're playing. I was there with all my friends, and I'd recently broken up with my girlfriend, who I was very fond of, and I dated her for about a year and a half. And it was great, a bit of escapism for me. and then I had this moment where all my friends, they were there with their partners and at this moment, like, ah, and like, you know, there was a, some kind of somber song came on and everyone was hugging each other and telling each other how much they loved each other and I was there alone and I was like, no, I wish I had had someone here. I wish I was, I wish I could give someone a little, a little kiss. And then I was like, well, I'm not going to go out and search for him. He was my friends and I'm not going to be that creepy guy, you know trying to pick up at a at a cosmic gate um festival so the show went on and uh at one point i i turned around and there was i mean there's a lot of flashing lights these are these things it was kind of during the day but the the you know there's lasers and it's it's pretty cool and there was a group of three people taking a selfie and and i love taking pictures of people marty because i have a really cheap memory and and i have to look at my camera raw sometimes to be like, oh yeah, I climbed three mountains last week and it was fucking amazing. I was at Lake Bukkake. I had a shriveled cock. Here's a picture of my cock. So I need to document stuff. And when I see people taking selfies, I'm like, ah, I'll just take the photo for you and it'll use the better camera on your phone that you paid $2,000 for, not the shitty one on the front. Anyway, so I offered to take a picture for them and this very pretty lady was like, yes, thank you. um so i i took a picture and i i didn't really pay attention to i just knew the girl in the middle was really hot wearing pink uh and then i took a picture and then her friend uh this other girl on the left of her um after i gave the phone back was like oh my god you're fucking hot and she grabbed my um my necklace and like pulled me in towards her very aggressively oh and and i was like almost nose to nose with this person and she had very very pretty eyes like pink makeup pink braids in her hair uh and and as soon as i gave her eye contact she was like it's fucking go time and she she she kissed me and i was like ah this is what i wanted and i like manifested it and it came like 30 30 minutes after i i kind of had this thought but then very quickly turned into like this is a really shit kiss like a really aggressive kiss like i like my face is being attacked to the point where after like a couple of seconds i actually like grabbed my hand and put it on like just under her throat because it was like a knee-jerk reaction to feeling threatened. Like, I was just like, shit, this person's attacking me. So I pushed her back and I said, hey, like, too aggressive. And then I don't know what she said because it was so fucking loud, but it was something like, ah, amazing, Kashi, your lips are so soft. And I'm thinking in my head, like, your lips are also crackly as well. They're like dry lips. I'm like, this is horrible. and then she said a thing and then she went in for a kiss and I was like, all right, I've given her my feedback. Let's try again. So I did and it was just as bad, maybe like 10% better, but still a big fat shit kiss. Aggressive, aggressive. I'm like, why does this feel weird? Anyway, so I pulled away and I was like, all right, thanks. Enjoy your photo. and I kept on dancing with my friends. And I just kept on thinking about it for like 10 fucking minutes. Like I couldn't, like I was just upset. I'm like, why was the kiss so shit? And why did it feel different? Why did this kiss feel different, Marty? So I turned around and had a look at her again. And it's about this moment that I realized that this beautiful lady, even though she identified as a female, Marty. um it was a dude it was a dude and i just didn't know because i was so close to him her whatever they want to identify as um so i'm upset that my first my first male kiss wasn't wasn't you marty it was So it was, it was, oh, wait, you think you're fucking upset. Oh, fuck. I always thought I'd be the one that would pop your lip cherry. Oh God. I couldn't believe it. I was just like, how did this happen? I'm like, well, I've kissed a guy. I've taken 38 fucking years to kiss a guy. And I looked at my gay mate and I was like, well, like I could just kiss him. And I'm like, no, the moment's passed. so i think the question that myself and obviously all our listeners are wanting to know did you feel a little something downstairs no marty because it was such a bad kiss i'm not saying that i'm i'm i'm not saying that i'm not gay i'm not saying that i i don't like kissing guys because i've only kissed one guy and it just it felt shit but i think it's because this guy was a horrible fucking kisser like i think he was like is this guy gay i'm gonna kiss him and find out i'm so excited and and it was just he was just horrible he she whatever i don't know i didn't know the person's name they they they them um oh it's disappointing this is my sorry oh i thought there would have been a nice gateway here and i thought it was getting up you're being bummed against a tree no didn't happen no you wanted it to you though you know you wanted that tune in Who was the top or the bottom? That's all we want to know. Which, who was doing who? I think that's what we all want to know. You're a bottom. I'm a bottom? Wait. For sure. I'm still always confused. Does a bottom mean that you're getting fucked up the bottom and you're on the bottom? Because can't you be at the... I don't know. How would I know? can't you can't you be at the bottom and fuck the guy into their bottom from the bottom like why does the bottom person have to be the one getting fucked i don't get it can you explain it to me please i don't i don't want to google it i don't want to google it can't you can't can't you can't you fuck anyone in any position like why what does it mean oh wait a second i get it i get it if you're on the bottom you have to turn around because yeah I get it. I got there in the ends. I mean, there are other positions. You can be on the bottom and fuck, but I get it. You have to turn around. I forgot that bumholes are on the other side of the body. oh my god oh my god alright Merry Christmas guys Merry Christmas everyone and here's a cheery Christmas message from the pins oh shit oh my god oh my god shut up mate I can't take it anymore alright let's stop goodnight Ryan goodnight oh my god did I get it right did I come to the right conclusion? Oh, shit. Hot diggity dog, Dr. Pin. Another year is almost over, but the best part is yet to come. Nope, it's not Christmas. It's the annual release of the Head to Head holiday episode. We wish you guys did more episodes, but we know that Marty has been super busy killing it as pinball royalty, designing games, creating complex rule sets, and rubbing elbows with the pinball elite. And Ryan, Ryan has been hiking a lot. We hope you guys have an amazing holiday season. We hope that your stockings are filled with things like Tim Tams. We hope you have a roussac or two wrapped underneath the Christmas tree. And I am personally hoping that Petey Pinsider finally scores a girlfriend in 2024. Dreams can come true, Petey. We love you guys. Merry Pinsmist. To you and your listeners, from Dr. and Mrs. Pin, Pincess and Pinderella. Peace.