FREE SHOW: Episode 1243: "Kaneda Destroys All The P3 Posers in Pinball"

Kaneda's Pinball Podcast (Patreon feed)·podcast_episode·19m 25s·analyzed·Jul 24, 2026

Analysis

claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 (batch) · $0.019

TL;DR

Kaneda attacks P3 platform cheerleaders as opportunistic posers cashing in on Dungeon Crawler Carl hype.

Summary

Kaneda delivers a scorching critique of what he calls "P3 posers"—industry figures who previously dismissed the Multimorphic P3 platform for a decade but are now promoting Dungeon Crawler Carl. He challenges their authenticity, questions the theme's commercial viability versus major franchises like Bon Jovi and Transformers, and demands transparency about whether they will actually purchase units. Kaneda also addresses Barrels of Fun's upcoming announcement and speculates about possible collaboration between manufacturers, while venting about disputes with Rob Burke over Pinball Expo access.

Key Claims

The entire pinball buying demographic has unanimously rejected the P3 platform for the past decade, citing weight, flipper feel, and video screen experience as reasons
medium confidence · Kaneda, opening monologue establishing his core argument
Dungeon Crawler Carl audiobooks have sold 10 million copies, compared to Bon Jovi's 150 million album sales worldwide and the $2 billion Transformers franchise
medium confidence · Kaneda, comparative analysis of IP popularity and commercial scale
Cary Hardy and other pinball personalities attended a VIP event, played Dungeon Crawler Carl, but did not order the game despite subsequently promoting it on content
medium confidence · Kaneda, citing observed behavior as evidence of inauthenticity
Barrels of Fun is setting up their new game at Southern Fry Gaming Expo next week
high confidence · Kaneda, stating as known fact from industry intelligence
Dungeon Crawler Carl and Ender's Game are being manufactured by Multimorphic
high confidence · Kaneda, direct assertion about the developer
Brad Albright, artist of Winchester Mystery House, is now working at Multimorphic
high confidence · Kaneda, noting personnel movement between companies
Stern Pinball sold over 15,000 units of Godzilla, which Kaneda defines as a 'smashing success'
medium confidence · Kaneda, using as industry benchmark for commercial success
Winchester Mystery House sold approximately 525 units and operates with higher per-unit costs than comparable Spooky games
medium confidence · Kaneda, comparative analysis of Barrels of Fun production economics
Rob Burke and Jake Danzig are attempting to prevent Kaneda from attending Pinball Expo
medium confidence · Kaneda, addressing Expo access dispute on-air

Notable Quotes

“It's so funny to me how you have people that have been ragging on the P3 multimorphic platform for years are now like, oh, yeah, I'm going to sell you it. And now all of a sudden I'm a big fan.”
Kaneda @ early monologue — Core thesis: accusing industry figures of opportunistic flip-flopping on P3 platform support
“Spend $14,000 on Dungeon Crawler Carl and Ender's Game with like really impressive sculpts. Try to get it up the stairs as it like slides back down and sends you to the afterlife because the thing weighs like two elephants.”
Kaneda @ mid-monologue — Hyperbolic critique of P3 weight and practicality concerns
“There's only one question that matters. Are you going to buy one? Yes or no. If the answer is no, just say it.”
Kaneda @ mid-monologue — Core demand for authenticity and transparency from content creators
“A smashing success is when Stern Pinball sells over 15,000 Godzillas. That is a smashing success.”
Kaneda @ late monologue — Establishes commercial benchmark and critique of inflated success narratives in boutique manufacturers
“I challenge you suckers to actually order the game on Monday later.”
Kaneda @ closing — Final call-out to P3 posers to put their money where their mouth is
“Rob Burke, I'm going to tell you this right now. I am coming to Pinball Expo. There's nothing you can do to stop me from going.”
Kaneda @ dispute segment — Direct confrontation regarding Pinball Expo access and Rob Burke conflict
“I literally wake up. I wake up and my heart goes to my mama battling cancer. My heart goes to my wife looking for employment.”
Kaneda @ closing emotional segment — Personal vulnerability revealing emotional stakes and life context beneath industry criticism
“I'm tired of apologizing for something I didn't do. I will always apologize for the things I do and the mistakes I make. But stop making up lies.”

Entities

Multimorphiccompany Barrels of FuncompanyStern PinballcompanySpooky PinballcompanyKanedaperson Cary Hardyperson Rob Burkeperson

Signals

~
sentiment_shift: Kaneda observes dramatic reversal in P3 platform perception—previously rejected by industry for decade, now suddenly celebrated by content creators and dealers; attributes shift to opportunism rather than genuine product improvement
high · Multiple references to past unanimous rejection vs. current endorsement; 'P3 posers' framing; Kerry Hardy case study of public promotion without personal purchase commitment
?
product_concern: Persistent criticism of P3 platform weight (~500 lbs), flipper feel, and video-screen-dominant gameplay experience; Kaneda argues these barriers remain unresolved despite sculpt additions
high · Repeated references to weight, stairs metaphor ('slides back down and sends you to the afterlife'), flipper complaints as decade-old unresolved issues
?
community_signal: Kaneda raises meta-concern about content creator authenticity—influencers publicly praising games they privately dismiss or won't purchase; challenges this as disservice to audience
high · Kerry Hardy example; broader demand for creators to state purchase intent as prerequisite to promotion; criticism of 'buried heads' and pacifist behavior
?
industry_signal: Active dispute between Kaneda and Pinball Expo leadership (Rob Burke, Jake Danzig) over event access; Kaneda defends past conduct and challenges legitimacy of ban narrative
high · Extended monologue defending early entry four years prior; explicit challenge to Rob Burke; plea to help contact Jake Danzig; context of alleged naked promotion on JBS show
?
rumor_hype: Kaneda speculates about possible collaboration or partnership between Multimorphic and Barrels of Fun, based on artist personnel movement (David Brad Albright) and timing of announcements (both Monday/next week)

Transcript

groq_whisper · $0.013

0:00

So like relax, I'm spilling these rats as long as you fill them to the day that I drive. You'll never say that I'm not killing them. Cause when I am not, then I'm gonna stop pinning them. And I am not hip-hop and I'm just not Eminem. Sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up. Enough! Enough of all these posers and all these fake charlatans everywhere. I'm so tired. I'm coming in hot, baby, on this Friday morning. It's so funny to me how you have people that have been ragging on the P3 multimorphic platform for years are now like, oh, yeah, I'm going to sell you it. And now all of a sudden I'm a big fan. What, because Jerry put a few sculpts on a game and these people out there, I'm going to call them the P3 posers, man. They're everywhere all of a sudden. They're making content. They're saying how much fun the game is. Come on, guys, where the F have you been? Canada's going to come in here. I'm not even going to curse, but I'm going to put all of you P3 poser clowns on indictment right now. Now, where have you been? Where have you been the last 10 years where the entire pinball buying demographic has said unanimously, we don't like this platform. We don't want a 500 pound sort of TV screen play field experience. The flippers don't feel right. The this, the that, all the reasons why. And they've been trying to sell this platform for how many years? And you're telling me, after a decade of failed chances at getting people to see the light of the multimorphic platform, that the thing that's going to break through is Dungeon Crawler Carl? And I've got jackasses left and right telling me that Dungeon Crawler Carl is more popular than Bon freaking Jovi. A dude sells 150 million albums worldwide, is played all throughout the World Cup Finals, and that's a worse theme than an audiobook that 10 million virgins have read. And I'm supposed to take this seriously? And all of a sudden now because a dealer that ragged on this platform forever because he couldn't sell it and got all upset is now all in on it and that changes everything.

2:38

Well, that same dealer is going to be all butthurt because he ain't selling a single. Back to the future. Get ready when you're going to try to get one from there. You ain't getting one, you know, and it's the same thing. It's like you forget how quickly these people forget that also said dealer when he was in bed with Damien Harden and wrote a big check for freaking Fathom and tried to sue Canada. I got a letter threatening to sue me because I told people not to buy from Damien because he was a crook. And look how that all transpired. And here we are all over again. And man, it's the same funny, like freaking carnival of clowns acting all of a sudden like this is it. Just because they can make a buck, they're going to convince you that now the multimorphic platform is the platform for you. Cool. Go buy one. Spend $14,000 on Dungeon Crawler Carl and Ender's Game with like really impressive sculpts. Try to get it up the stairs as it like slides back down and sends you to the afterlife because the thing weighs like two elephants. And you're going to tell me that you passed on Sonic, you passed on Transformers because Dungeon Crawler Carl is where it's at. I love it, baby. I love it. I love how these posers, they talk such a big game. They talk such a big game, but it's going to come down to one moment and one moment only. On Monday, when they reveal this game, how many of you P3 posers are going to pull out your wallet, not your ding dong, because it's going to disappear when you tell your wife you're in on a dungeon crawler car. How many of you P3 posers are going to pull out your wallet and actually order one? You know, that's all that matters. It doesn matter what you say about the audio book sales and it getting optioned as a TV show and Nick Farland I don care I really don care There nothing there is nothing that will change my mind that the majority of the people that want to buy a new pinball machine who have told us for a decade that this platform is not what they want Now it is Now it is And look, I will eat crow. I will like do a full mea culpa if on Monday what I see is going to just like change my mind about all of what the multimorphic P3 platform is about. They did it. They put in sculpts. Kaneda, you can now be a dungeon crawler, Carl, and you can, you know, listen to the audio books for $14,000 now. Like it's so silly. It's absolutely silly. And I understand that we've got all of these. And I mean this when I say this, man, the posers are like everywhere now. Even my good friends who behind the scenes are like, nobody's going to buy this. Nobody's going to buy the platform. These are people that have gone to the VIP event, seen the damn thing, and they did not order it. You know what the ultimate red flag is? Kerry Hardy saw it. He played it. He was there with other pinball personalities. Did any of them order the game? No. But then they make their content and they bury their heads up the butt of the P3 team. And they're like, it's fun after like 100 players. Like, what's wrong with all of y'all? What's wrong with all of y'all? Why can't y'all just be honest with the rest of us? Why does it all fall on my shoulders? Why do I have to be the one that picks up your phone calls when you tell the truth and then you hit record and you turn into some like weak, like just like a pacifist over pinball machines? Why do you care so much, man? Why can't you just be real? Why can't you just tell us how you really feel? You want to know how you win trippies? You be real. You want to know how you get the most subscribers? Just tell us the truth. Like it's okay if you don't like something. It's okay if you think no one's going to buy it. It's okay. Like you should be looking out for your listeners. Instead, everyone just groveling. Well, yeah, it's fun. You know, after the first eight plays, nah. After the first 10 plays, nah. But after 100, after 100 plays, shut the F up, mofos. You're not buying one. There's only one question that matters. Are you going to buy one? Yes or no. If the answer is no, just say it. Start with that. Don't tell me all the reasons you love something you're not going to buy. You are being followed by people that want to know whether or not they should buy this unit and just buck up, pals, because all these P3 posers, you're all going to be exposed on Monday because it's on you now. Now, if you're going to shill this thing, if you're going to shill this thing and you're going to like, oh, yeah, I've got 50. I saw this like, oh, yeah, the deal is I got 50 people on a list for dungeon crawler. Carl, sure you do. And when you ask them for fourteen thousand dollars, that list is going to shrink to five people because that's where we're at. Read the room, people. Read the room. Steve Ritchie, Sonic the Hedgehog is not moving units. And you think, oh, you know what, man, I'm going to pass on that platform, which is normal pinball. I'm going to pass on that because I'm all in on Dungeon Crawler Carl, baby. Yo, you don't know, man. I was at the airport. I love when I was at the airport. You know, I don't know what this thing is. Then I see it. I see the audio books for Dungeon Crawler Carl, 10 million copies sold, 10 million versus a two billion dollar movie franchise, which doesn't sell. So look, I know what y'all are saying and I know I can feel it. I can hear you Dungeon Crawler Carl fanboys right now. This is different than Winchester's Mystery House. Haunted House is everyone can relate to Dungeon Crawler Carl. And who the hell is even making this damn game, right? Let me tell you right now. It's multimorphic. They are making Dungeon Crawler Carl and Ender's Game. I not sure why the writer of this book is following Barrels of Fun on Instagram I don know what going on David Albright the artist of Winchester Mystery House is now working at Multimorphic So the only conclusion I can make with all of this insanity and rubber ducks and all this weird shit this week sorry I don mean to curse this weird stuff this week I going to leave that in there So if you heard it and you a little kid you got to know how hard it is for me to come with this much energy and not curse But when you when you start dropping rubber ducks into the pinball world it hard baby It's even hard for me. All this weirdness going on. And so like now the barrels reserve ends today. And they said they were going to announce their next title when the barrels reserve time is up. I also know for a fact that barrels of fun is setting up their new game at Southern Fry Gaming Expo next week. So when are they going to reveal it? Not a single company, not either company has an exact release time. Do you know what time on Monday Jerry's releasing? And is Barrow's going to be releasing a separate game? But I keep feeling in this weird, this weird feeling deep down in Canada's soul that these guys are somehow collaborating or something weird's going on. I mean, I don't know. I can't see it because the platforms don't like mesh up well, but I don't know what's going on here. I don't know if like this modular game was made by the folks over at, I don't know, Barrels of Fun and they worked in collaboration with Jerry. I don't know. It's the weirdest thing. I don't get it. Maybe Barrels of Fun is going to make the, you know, help them make these modular units so they can make more of them. I don't know. It sounds stupid as I say it. But, you know, when we're floating out stuff like Bon Jovi, Rubber Duckies, and Dungeon Crawler Carl is going to be what moves a platform nobody's wanted for a decade. You can see how Kineid is going crazy. I'm off the rails, baby. I'm collapsing. I can't figure it out. You got the dealer that's been crapping all over Multimorphic for a decade. Now he's the biggest fanboy. You got Rob Burke in the bathtub naked on the JBS show making up lies about me like, oh, if he's a gentleman, he could come to Expo. I didn't do anything, Rob. Like seriously, the disgusting like display of being naked in a bathtub as you're trying to promote your show is insanely funny to me and ironic. If he behaves like a gentleman, he can come while I sit naked in a bathtub to promote my pinball show. Rob Burke, I'm going to tell you this right now. I'm just going to put you on notice. I am coming to Pinball Expo. There's nothing you can do to stop me from going. So take your bag of lies and your garbage and shove it up wherever you think you're your gentleman like orfaces. I don't care, bro. I don't I didn't do anything. I'm tired of apologizing for something I didn't do. I will always apologize for the things I do and the mistakes I make. But stop making up lies. The dude sat there on a live show yesterday and said there's many other reasons why. Four years ago, I bought a ticket to Expo and I snuck in early because you know why? Because there was no media early entry. So I didn't steal my way in. I simply went in and opened exit door. And you know what I did when I snuck in? I didn't steal anything. I didn't turn any games on. I didn't make it awkward. I simply walked around the show floor and showed everybody how cool Expo was and what's at the show. That's it. That is it. That was like three, four years ago. That is it. And Rob Burke still goes to that and be like, that's why you can't come. I didn't get in a fight with anybody. I didn't cause a ruckus. I play piano with dead like Dirty Pool and Jack Guinari. And we all have a good time. It's like a couple of dudes that don't want me there. And it's not anyone affiliated with a manufacturer. It is simply Rob Burke and like Jake Danzig, who I've been trying to reach out to. So if you know Jake Danzig, can you please reach out? I said nothing disparagingly about this hockey league game. In fact, the young girl and her father who have worked on it are amazing people. They're fans of the show. Like when I go to Expo I hang out with them They so nice I don get it I don know what I did to like these people but I tired of apologizing for something I never did And I tired of hearing these P3 posers come out of the woodwork now not even woodwork LCD screen work and now tell us this is going to be the moment So everybody look, the whole pinball world right now is in a weird place. The major juggernauts are sort of failing. Like Transformers failed to deliver, so did Sonic. Like the big dogs did not hit. So the door is wide open now for Dungeon Crawler Carl and all these people. I just want to make this clear. All of you that think that Winchester's Mystery House was a smashing success. You all would go out of business if you ran a pinball company, a smashing success. Let's just be clear is when Stern Pinball sells over 15,000 Godzillas. That is a smashing success. Stern takes a ton of arrows by a bunch of people that have no idea how to keep a pinball company in business. Spooky Pinball is a smashing success because they can sell a thousand games and have very little overhead and get these amazing IPs. So if you think 525 units where it costs them so much more to make each one than a spooky game and basically, you know, they have to take pre-orders on top. Gang, I want barrels to be successful. That comes down to the choices they make. They need a banger theme. I hope it comes out today. I hope it's a banger. I'm not sure if this duck is like in 80s Bon Jovi or it's Greece or it's Howard the Duck or it's the Mighty Ducks. Whatever it is, congratulations. They have everybody guessing, including me. It's fun. It is fun. I want to really be real, real right now. I literally wake up. I wake up and my heart goes to my mama battling cancer. My heart goes to my wife looking for employment. My heart goes to all the people. The real stuff, baby. My voice is cracking. Real stuff is going on in all of our lives. And there's way too much, way too much emphasis. And like the way people talk about pinball companies and holding their secrets, it's fun. And if you're not having fun, then you need to get out. If you can't find entertainment with Kaneda and the crew over at JBS, by the way, I want to say thank you to Kale, Jamie and Ralph for having my back against Rob Burke. They freaking stood their ground. Go watch the live show. They had my back and I love it. And I love it because no one should be banned. Think about it. Banned the world's number one pinball podcaster over the last decade. You know, no one would even argue with that. I have built a decade plus fan base. You're going to ban me from a pinball show for doing what? Pathetic. And here I am. Here I am in Rowating, Connecticut with two little kids. My mom is struggling. You guys are all struggling in your own ways. And you come here to escape. But in your escapism, it's not going to turn you into a P3 poser. I want to give a shout out to Jack Danger, my boy, listening to Stan Bush last night, sending me videos. Jack, I love you. Shout out to Frank D'Angelo, setting his kid up in college. A shout out to Ed Robertson, who can't publicly admit that he listens to Canadian's Pinball podcast, but I got his cell phone number. I love the Barenaked Ladies. You know, Rob Burke was a bare naked lady last night, baby. You look, it's just about fun. And these pinball companies, when you're there, if you're losing money, it ain't fun, baby. That's why you got to listen to Canada. This was a hot Friday take. It's going to go down in the chronicles of one of the classic Canada episodes. Everybody, let's see what happens. You know I'm going to be on the mic all through the next 72 hours as all of this duck Bon Jovi misdirection dungeon crawler Carl pans out. But all you P3 posers, I challenge you. I challenge you suckers to actually order the game on Monday later.