Cause it's Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do. You're just in time for the after party that is Fuck It Friday, starring Drew and Ian. Welcome to Fuck It Friday. Fuck it. Number three. Number three? Here we go. We've done this three Fridays now? Three Fridays. Jesus. They're quick. They're easy. They feel a little dirty. And that's how we like them. Happy Friday, everybody. I hope you have a fantastic weekend planned. Any plans this weekend, Drew? Nope. Just working. The usual. Me? I don't know, man. I don't know. There's so much I could do since I don't work on the weekend. Yeah. So busy. So busy. So busy. I got a wife and a daughter. We might go to Discovery World to look at some fish. They got an aquarium there. I don't know. Or we might be snowed in. You know, it's Wisconsin. yeah otherwise i'll stay home then but i just want to start this fuck it up i just want to start it up this this fuck it up friday yeah i did fuck it up uh with a little i told you so from last week are you ready for this ian did you fucking learn evolution this week i learned something okay so here's the deal folks if If you guys didn't tune in last week, Ian and I... Fuck those flying fish. I don't care. Towards the end of last week's Fuck It Friday, we were talking about flying fish and evolution and mammals. And then we got into talking about heartbeats and heart rates. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, see, he's rolling his eyes. Now, check this out. It's the dumbest thing. Okay. Okay. So I said that I read in several places that pretty much most mammals have a specific amount of heartbeats. Okay? Mm-hmm. And, you know, some animals, like dogs, their heart beats faster. So that's why they don't live as long because they only have, you know, so many heartbeats. So stupid. And humans, whatever. And then like these turtles that have one of the slowest heartbeats, they live for 300 years. So I'm going to read you something from, it's called The Heart Project. And it's a bunch of smart scientist types. Sure they are. A billion beats. Studies have concluded that all mammals get a billion heartbeats per lifetime. They can use them at a rate of 1,000 per minute like a shrew, and shrews don't live very long, or space them out into slow, ponderous beats over many years, as in the case for the gray whale. Gray whales live a long time. So, Ed Boon, roasted. I win. You lose. That's all. It's science. If I have a slower heart rate, I live longer. Well, there's obviously other factors, but generally speaking... Don't fucking backpedal. No, no. I'm saying, yes. Yeah, generally speaking, yes. So you believe. It's not a belief. This is science. There's data to back this up. You believe. I told you so Friday. That's where we're at. You believe if you don't do much and you keep your heartbeat low. You might die of something else. But you believe. It's a different story. Yes. That you will live longer. You could. Versus. Yes. If a human were to work out, they won't live as long because their heart rate will go up. Once again. No. I want to know what you believe. Okay. I'm going to tell you. I don't understand what the fuck you're talking about. So tell me. So there are other factors. Because like you said, if you're not doing anything and say you develop diabetes, you might die of diabetes, but you won't die of your heart giving out. So what's the fucking, what are we talking about, Drew? So you basically have a billion heartbeats. So yes, sometimes people that do work out a lot, if their heart is going faster, they might die sooner because of that okay and what happens when people work out you know what happens to heart rate when when you work out it goes up i understand no no when you're in shape your heart rate slows down slows down okay so that that kind of proves the theory then no no it doesn't what do you mean it doesn't because you're telling me that you shouldn't work out because you'll die faster no i didn't say that you no i didn't i just said you have a billion heart they're saying you basically have a billion heartbeats in your lifetime oh is that right yes so yes if you work out and yes your heart becomes stronger then you're right it's working less while you're doing stuff so now you have but you still have that same billion beats how the fuck does that affect me you have a billion beats that's it what why didn't you just say that well that's what that's what i said that's what i said you said he said trump doesn't like to do a lot of things well he thinks he's a sea turtle i said that's what that's what you that's what trump said that's just just because i said that's what trump said doesn't mean that's what i believe i just try to understand what you fucking believe oh what i believe you think we have a billion heartbeats i believe because it's been studied that yes we we all have roughly a billion heartbeats that does nothing that does zero factor in anything as you drink some more alcohol because that will cause your heart to fail regardless of how many beats. But that's the thing. Just because okay, you get hit by a bus. Well, you didn't die because your heart gave out. You got hit by a bus. Why are you not following this? You are having the worst time explaining this, clearly. Should I read it one more time? I don't want to hear what they have to say. I'm trying to understand what your point is. my well my point is last week i was saying that faster heart rates in certain animals okay lead to faster deaths so how did because their heart but we keep living longer and longer every year as a species no that's true that is true so our heart rate didn't change no it didn't because once again we don't all die of our heart stopping they're basically here's what this is saying okay after the billion heart rates the billion heartbeats the the heart muscle will just give out and it'll stop then you'll die right i'm so fucking done with this conversation can someone please email us at poor man's pinball at gmail.com and explain it to ian and maybe i'm i'm not explaining it right stupid it's the dumbest thing i've ever heard you get you get it has no effect well it has it has plenty of effect no you have a billion heartbeats per lifetime unless something else happens to you which is 99 of the time no that's true that's talking about who cares but but people that die of natural causes i putting air quotes they had their billion they went a billion and one yes bullshit well they it could have been 1 billion but i saying around the around the billion mark they saying your heart your heart muscle just keeps living longer no most of those people are billion heartbeats studies ian many many people that died of natural causes 100 years ago when they were dying at 35 i had to say they're a billion they're a billion heartbeats no because they died of something else no i'm saying if they died in that they didn't die of natural cause oh they did they died oh we're the only ones now dysentery now we only die of no no because back then they the organ trail motherfucker yes it is that's where i came up with that obviously by the way um no they give you you know ian just got eaten by a bear yeah he never got it yeah there were so never got to a billion beats there were so many simple bacterias and stuff that we couldn't prevent back then that we we couldn't prevent bacterias well we couldn't we couldn't fix somebody that had like some like uh polio and stuff i mean you know no one has polio anymore because we have vaccines for it you really showed me there i did i was right you were wrong a billion beats that's all you get folks use your billion beats wisely however that is uh what are we talking about today besides a billion beats trump's a sea turtle trump's a sea turtle trump is a sea turtle did John Youssi uh speaking of trump did John Youssi uh the twitter thing with um with trump he was trying to be uh his trump ass self this isn't gonna be a political thing guys it's just fucking funny um and he was he was he tweeted out a picture of him eating out of mexican bowl like a mexican or a taco bowl and he wrote you know i love mexicans or whatever on this tweet and it's just he's just eating a taco bowl right well some like eagle-eyed viewer looked at that photo and saw to the right of trump or to his left um uh the desk drawer was open and there was nothing but Sudafed in there, which is one of the key ingredients to making meth. Not saying that Trump is a meth head, but there's enough impactful drugs in Sudafed to fuck you up and get you... It's basically speed. And he had the entire drawer full of Sudafed. It was pretty entertaining. I'm looking at it now. It's not even just Sudafed. It's like the European white box labeled Sudafin, which is more powerful, I guess, more potent. I love Hispanics. Is that what it says? Yeah. Well, of course he didn't say, I love Mexicans. That would just be kind of weird. Leave it to me. I see the drawer. It looks like... Yeah, he's got some shit in there. He sure does. We got a hopped up president. All right, let's do it. Well, they said he doesn't sleep a lot. They said he only sleeps a couple hours a day. That's amazing. It's all sped up. That heartbeat is never going to get a billion. He's slowing it down, speeding it up. So now what we need to do is we got to kidnap a sea turtle and give him a bunch of speed and see which one croaks first. No, no. He's rich enough. He got a heart transplant from a sea turtle. So now he has a sea turtle's heart. that's how that works oh that's it when you're rich you can do shit like that you're like turtle heart you're like put a sea turtle heart in me i want to live to be 300 it's like they're putting a sea turtle heart in them and he's like chomping on the sea turtle leg like i don't want a chicken leg John Youssi a big ass turtle leg like that fin and then he pops some pseudofed yeah can't let this turtle go to waste i'll eat this shit it's a whole cycle turtle oh my god turtle fin once again see turtle fin a show called fucking friday that goes off the rails never had rails to begin with yeah we're rail lists do you believe in aliens uh yeah sort of i'll just throw that out there i i don't i don't believe in aliens in a traditional sense i believe there's there's life out there but you know that life could be like yeah like weird bacteria shit growing you know what i mean oh you don't believe in flying saucers well there could be i'm just saying that when people talk about life in space you know life could be something that like simple organisms or like small animals or you know reptiles i don't know something wait small reptiles i don't know like like turtles going back to turtles now what do you um i've been having a lot of fun with this thinking about the effects for this this this this thing and i i have a great time trying to figure out if i believe in aliens because my background isn't just chemical coatings but i have my degree in history so history is kind of a big thing about you know my life i gotta see how things start right that's just how my brain is wired i gotta figure out why we do the things we do in our society so when it comes to aliens first it's flying fish now it's aliens well you know i watched a fucking show called ancient aliens on history channel it's the worst shit i've ever seen i read an article now i'm an expert just like drew oh just it's just ridiculous no that ancient alien show is fucking stupid it's All those shows are stupid. I tried to watch. They're all dumb. It's so dumb. It's the dumbest. Like, you know, these guys, isn't it? Is it possible an alien came and helped us build the pyramids? First off, fool, you think aliens like to work in stone? They're real good stone workers. Is that what they want to do? They're going to come all this way here and put a bunch of pebbles together and make a pyramid. You think that's the height of their power? You think they're going to go anywhere further than just stonework? You think they'd want to mine some raw materials and make something fucking badass? I take my cue from Stephen Hawking, one of the smartest men that's ever graced this earth. You know what he said? He goes, if there's really aliens out there, they would have saw us, saw how stupid we are, and they would have overthrown us already. Or. so this has been a topic an ongoing topic on the joe rogan show so for more info you can go to joe rogan but they had he had Bob Lazar on Now do you know who Bob Lazar is That name means nothing to me Bob Lazar's got an awesome story. I can say names, too. Bob Lazar's got an awesome story. So early 80s, he was going to school, and he literally took his Honda Civic, and he put a jet engine in it. He was going to school for, I don't know, freaking astrophysics and propulsion systems. And he made the newspaper. Like a jet engine. A goddamn jet engine on his Honda Civic. Okay? It was in the newspaper. He kind of got this little notoriety of being this fucking crazy mad scientist. 16-year-old me just got a boner. Pretty cool, right? Yeah. Well, fast forward. He was looking for a job a few years later after he graduated. And someone recognized him from this article or whatever. Fast forward. the dude got um he started to work at area area 51 but it wasn't area 51 it was like a subset of area 51 do you apply for that uh he did have to apply you say i want to work but he worked 51 well it wasn't but this is the 80s we didn't know what area 51 he was working at los alamos labs actually first and he can do a better job explaining this than i can obviously because he worked it but long story short he ended up fucking finding out that he all right he's in area 51 and he actually was working on propulsion systems for a ufo a crashed down ufo and what they found inside the ufo was it was an anti-gravity thing right so and what powers this thing is this element called uh element 115 what was this ufo was it a ship yeah it was a ship it was cigar shaped ship looks like a cigar so that's important because i got something to follow up with that All right. So Ed Boon, here he is. He's working on propulsion system. He's trying to figure out how this fucking thing works. This element one 15, which doesn't exist here. You know, we, we don't have, are there any markings on the ship? No, no. Um, everything seemed to be like one piece. He says it was really weird. And the ceilings are really, wait, wait, wait. Was this confirmed or is this just some crazy crackpot? I'm telling you. Okay. I'm telling you, I'm going to try to make this the quick notes here. Cliff notes version of this. anyway um there's some crazy convoluted thing that happened and he ends up getting fired right so now he's thinking oh shit i need to spread the word of this so all of a sudden he goes to the media and everyone gets kind of laughs at him obviously because it's fucking crazy talk right um fast forward though um just i think it was 2016 okay uh some scientists actually created a little bit just a tiny bit they can only get like a molecule of the ship but they created element 150 are there pictures of the cigar shape well i'll get to that too so obviously he couldn't take pictures of this ship right and he says there's multiple ships and he has seen them in flight and he says they they fly different because you can think of anti-gravity is like the bottom of it propels so like it will tilt it will tilt to a certain degree to move forward okay and it can fly up in the space up in air in the air like boba fett slave yeah kind of and it can it can do all that it could do that in the water too it's like there's it's anti-gravity it doesn't matter nothing nothing is really like it's not fire being are there pictures of this thing jesus christ will you hold on no he didn't take pictures of anything well bullshit no there's no pictures of it why would he how was he gonna get a camera in area 51 so you're telling this story and the shit doesn't exist i just told you they have created element 115 we have discovered it just recently shit that he is saying back in the 80s is coming true now so here you go dick okay commander david fravor back in 2008 okay all right he is a 30-year vet in the air force i believe or is it an aerospace navy he's navy he's a navy guy are you yawning yes jesus story's going on forever it's a cool story no i'm digging it you're being a dick all right so anyway so he has camera you go on youtube right now and look at it but back in 2006 he had a camera on a cigar shaped ufo hovering over some water and in 2016 it was like 16 yeah it literally like tilted or it was probably 2008, something like that. I don't know. Early 2000s. It tilted and it did exactly what Bob Lazar said. And this is a guy who is a 30-year vet. He is a smart-ass dude. He's not looking for attention. Neither was Bob Lazar, to be honest. So this material... It's on YouTube. No, no. This material is anti-gravity? Is that... It's used to power the anti-gravity device. Because that's the part I'm kind of like spacing in. Yeah, I'm fucking A, man. this thing is like yeah you drop this off at us we don't know what the hell it is it's like us taking a you know a nuclear reactor to like no people in 1812 and be like yeah figure it out they're gonna be like nope that's magic sure yeah well and you're right up until a certain point that was how they explained everything was magic yeah fucking magic but no so now i'm before it's like all right there's too many fuck to answer the question do i believe in aliens yes now more than I ever have because there's too many fucking crazies out there for every legit UFO sighting there's 999 fucking idiots that are like I've been abducted and they put things in my butt yeah that's true don't put stuff in my butt don't tread on me so that's where I was just going with it I was just wondering if you thought about shit like that well they're they're also talking about how or somebody said something about how they believe that because out of all the animals we're going back to evolution now throughout the entire we are not going back to the entire evolutionary process no creature uh their brain has they never developed 10 times the size you know they haven't grown 10 times in the short amount of time except for humans from homo sapien or yeah erectus to us that's never happened and there is some evidence that says we were tampered with our dna was tampered with it back in the day to help us evolve and grow faster and yeah but they say never how do they know i mean what do you mean never what well maybe animals well i know they can test that how their primitive minds now man i guess but i mean you test something from you know sometimes when these these people talk about like oh we talk like heartbeats and shit you know scientists people like that now you question scientists well no but they're testing stuff now but i'm saying like how do we know there wasn't a race of you know super humans from yeah a million years ago you know they they look at the skulls and stuff i get that but the brains aren't there yeah but there's the cavity where the brain sits in there sure it's a lot smaller yeah i don't know yeah no they don't have records of any animals doubling and tripling and now let alone but they have records of their 10 times they counted their heartbeats with little how would you feel about if you found out that we were that's what aliens are doing they're not sitting here going well these guys are fucking weird we're out what if they're coming here going oh shit our experiment kind of worked these people are fucking crazy goddamn apes smart apes we made smart apes smart apes we should probably go now yeah oh we fucked that up we better get out of here well i thought that could have been a little bit smoother of a dna yeah we were we were just a shitty planet now like we're all industrialized because yeah they're like oh we went too far yeah now it's fucking crazy yeah thinking about that kind of shit yeah but the thing is where do they live and also it is interesting because is that a reticulate what's that that's where they live according to bob lazar another thing they couldn't find and now they did so now there is a place that they call is that a reticulate i don't know no it is interesting because like i said if you you know the whole conundrum of we're the end of spaces i mean you keep going and going and there's shit out there you know i mean you don't get to like a brick wall right i mean there's there's shit out there no dude which is pretty amazing when you think about it well the further they go out the more they find planets that could sustain us sure i'm saying sure it'll take 10 million years to get yeah no absolutely but that's what i'm saying it's nutty because yeah exactly you take this say you have this magic spaceship that you can go yeah 100 million miles away you're still going to be somewhere and now what's over there? And then you go another 100 million. There's just more shit. Keep going. There's no end. It's just infinite space and planets and shit. It breaks your brain when you just think about it. It really does. I can't do it. Are you tired or something? No, I'm just yawning at your stories. Oh, fuck off. No, your stories are good. I'm always tired. You know that. You know that about me. 9.30, this is your bewitching hour. You're supposed to be able to get excited here. Oh, I'm excited. I feel like the audience and I are just keeping up. Should we just end it? No. You got anything else to talk about today? We just had a whole diatribe about aliens and heartbeats and alien heartbeats. Sea turtles and Trump munching on sea turtles. Trump sea turtles, yeah. Trump all sped up on Sudafed. He gets Kentucky Fried Sea Turtles. Good Lord. What the fuck's happening? What else is going on in today's world, sir? Did you ever think about... What? I was just thinking of another random thing, but... Randoms. Did you ever hear like quantum mechanics and quantum physics? I did. Where did I... Oh, fuck. I was just listening to... Oh, maybe that's that Joe Rogan guy. That's probably another Rogan guy. Yeah. They talk about infinite possibilities. Yes. Everything we've done, we've... This is just one of the decisions, but we've done every other decision. See, this is why I'm yawning, because it hurts my brain. I listened to that podcast. Yeah, Ian's been trying forever to get me to listen to Joe Rogan. And I was finally like, okay, fine, I'll listen to it. And yeah, the first one I picked out was this guy who, yeah, he was some physicist, and he was pretty interesting, yeah, and he was talking about quantum mechanics and all this stuff. Quantum physics, it's crazy. And I had no idea what... Doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I had no idea what it was. And I'm listening to him. And at first, I'm yawning. Now I'm like, OK, yeah, whatever. But then he kept talking. And I was like, huh. And then I understood most of what he was saying. But a lot of it was, you know, it's hard to grasp. I got about 15 minutes in. I was like, I got to shut this off. It's nutty. And if you ask me to explain it to somebody, there's no way I could do it. Too stupid. But listen, yeah, go find it. I mean, just Google quantum mechanics. I mean, it's just a whole, they talk about the fourth dimension. You know what I mean? That was the part where he's like, okay, you got, you know, length and width, and then you got depth for the third dimension, obviously. And then you got this fourth dimension and you're like, okay, that makes no sense. Yeah. And then he kind of like goes into this thing like, yeah, it's sort of like alternate realities, but not, and you could be looking at yourself like in another world, but you don't know you are. it's just this whole weird thing but it kind of makes sense but it's also kind of like out there that makes sense oh yeah you know what i mean just like there's no way to test that that theory is even real no and that's the thing because that's what he said he was kind of talking about like choices and stuff like oh you know you choose to you know take this job and then you choose to you know have this family and then over here you do something else but there's another version of that's single and banging a bunch of chicks. Yeah. And I want to be that guy. And you never meet, though. You can't meet, but they exist. It's just bizarre. Yeah, they exist in another dimension. Yeah, if you're listening to this, you would think we've been smoking weed all day, and we haven't, but it's just... No, none of this makes any sense. No, but it's interesting, though. It's very, very interesting. That's all I got to say. All right. Well, I'm going to cut us off. That's cool. at quantum mechanics we're done yeah we're done we're done we can't even barely talk about pinball good lord i love it man this episode of hurt our brains uh this was brought to you by the we hurt our brains if if fucking friday hurts your brain email us at poor man's pinball gmail.com like us on facebook you started with the sea turtle bullshit i know we we we went off the rails once again the non-rails quickly and here we are sea turtles doing what we do all right it's cool because this is just us yep i love you guys out there thank you hope you guys have a great weekend hope this helped you with your friday drives if you were smart you would have turned this shit off a long time ago play some pinball go play some pinball love you guys later thanks