Episode 1225: "Why I'm Never Buying Transformers & How Excited I am for The Fifth Element!"

Kaneda's Pinball Podcast (Patreon feed)·podcast_episode·20m 46s·analyzed·May 27, 2026

Analysis

claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 · $0.031

TL;DR

Kaneda condemns Transformers as a fatal design failure; hypes Fifth Element rumor and Sonic launch.

Summary

Kaneda criticizes Transformers for failing to deliver the core feature of Transformers transforming, declaring he'll never buy it and comparing it to luxury brand mismanagement. He discusses upcoming releases including Jersey Jack's Sonic the Hedgehog, rumored Pinball Brothers' Fifth Element, and reflects on broader trends in pinball design, code quality, artwork, and manufacturing reliability across the industry.

Key Claims

Transformers has Transformers that doesn't transform, a planned feature that was removed
high confidence · Kaneda, opening segment - states feature was 'in the plan' and 'in the blueprint' and video showed it working two weeks ago
Sonic the Hedgehog from Jersey Jack is launching 'within 30 days'
high confidence · Kaneda, direct statement comparing Stern and Jersey Jack design philosophies
Pokemon has had zero code updates for a month and only insignificant updates before that; topper still not released
high confidence · Kaneda, personal observation of his own Pokemon machine
40 Pokemon Limited Edition machines are for sale, indicating collector dissatisfaction
medium confidence · Kaneda, market observation - infers poor reception due to code delays
Pinball Brothers' Fifth Element is rumored to be in development
medium confidence · Kaneda, 'I'm starting to hear things, rumblings... whispers in the dark' about Fifth Element with Pinball Brothers
Jersey Jack's Sonic has tight shots and Steve (designer) had to open up ramps; playfield has 10-11 shots across fan layout
medium confidence · Kaneda reports hearing rumors about shot tightness; expresses concern about bricking potential
Goonies remaster is confirmed coming to market
high confidence · Kaneda, 'I'm confirming it's Goonies' - explicit confirmation of this title
American Pinball announced Cirqus Voltaire then went silent for 4-5 months, poor marketing strategy
high confidence · Kaneda, direct observation of announcement pattern and criticism of timing

Notable Quotes

“How could you, Stern? How could you take the easiest assignment in the world and fumble it? You make a Transformer game without Optimus transforming.”
Kaneda @ Opening segment — Core complaint: Stern removed the defining feature of Transformers, making game undesirable regardless of code quality
“I could never own the game now. I'm not going to buy it. I'm not even going to buy an LE of the game. I'm not going to support a company that can't execute a non-negotiable.”
Kaneda @ ~2 min — Personal boycott declaration; influential voice in community influencing purchase decisions
“Pinball is on a smaller scale a luxury good and if you want to maintain your audience you have to keep providing the right kind of value.”
Kaneda @ ~5 min — Frames pinball pricing and quality as luxury market dynamics; contextualizes Transformers failure
“I've been hearing people who own games like Predator and Beetlejuice... Predator is the better game. And that blows me away in a lot of ways.”
Kaneda @ ~12 min — Barrels of Fun game (Predator) outperforming recent releases despite missing Arnold; gameplay satisfaction matters more than IP
“Games like Dune are like a 50/50. Dune is working, it is absolutely an incredible pin. But I also hear that it breaks down a lot and reliability is a big issue.”
Kaneda @ ~15 min — Barrels of Fun reliability concerns; manufacturing consistency identified as next major challenge
“That toy is like 40 bucks at Walmart. Hasbro gave you a toy that was already engineered... And it was working as of two weeks ago because we saw it in the promotional video.”
Kaneda @ ~20 min — Transformers had functional prototype; removal was deliberate choice, not technical impossibility
“Fifth Element to me is up there in my supernal realm. It's like Acura, Big Trouble in Little China, it's Fifth Element, it's Transformers G1.”
Kaneda @ ~25 min — Personal dream theme; Fifth Element is among his top-tier desired licenses

Entities

KanedapersonStern PinballcompanyJersey Jack Pinballcompany Pinball Brotherscompany Barrels of Funcompany American Pinballcompany Chicago Gaming Companycompany

Signals

?
product_concern: Transformers Optimus Prime toy removed/non-functional; was engineered to work but excluded from final product despite working in promotional video two weeks prior
high · Kaneda: 'It was working as of two weeks ago because we saw it in the promotional video' and 'they engineered it to be one way and yet you bought it in a way that doesn't do anything'
?
code_update: Pokemon experiencing severe code update drought; zero updates in latest month, previous update was insignificant, topper still unreleased despite being promised 'right away'
high · Kaneda: 'Another month has gone by. Zero code updates. The last code update was insignificant. The topper, which was supposed to come out right away, is still not out.'
~
sentiment_shift: Pokemon Limited Edition machines flooding secondary market (40+ units for sale); indicates collector dissatisfaction and poor code delivery affecting resale value
high · Kaneda: '40 Pokemon LEs for sale... I don't think a lot of other people are very happy as well' and 'Those guys probably could have scalped those machines for more money. They're never going to get it.'
?
product_strategy: Kaneda (influential community voice) declaring personal boycott of Transformers; refusing to purchase Pro or LE versions; calling for non-purchase across community
high · Kaneda: 'I could never own the game now. I'm not going to buy it. I'm not even going to buy an LE' and closing statement 'Don't buy Transformers. Trust me. Don't support a company that can't execute right.'
?
gameplay_signal: Predator (Pinball Brothers/Fast) outperforming recent premium releases (Beetlejuice, etc.) in direct player-to-player comparisons despite missing key IP anchor (Arnold); gameplay satisfaction trumping IP recognition

Transcript

groq_whisper · $0.062

0:00

Box on the run, we scream and everybody comes around and take the run and hide yourself away. Box on the run, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up, sit up. Welcome everybody to the world's second best pinball podcaster, your host Kaneda. Happy morning, happy afternoon if you joined me for the Patreon live at like 3.30 in the morning. Went to bed last night really early. It was good. My circadian rhythm. I just listened to my body. I go horizontal and I'm out cold. I woke up and I thought to myself, how could you? You know, I can't shake it. I know it's like beating a dead horse, but how could you, Stern? How could you take the easiest assignment in the world and fumble it? You make a Transformer game without Optimus transforming. We knew it was in the plan. It was in the blueprint. And I could never own the game now. I'm not going to buy it. I'm not even going to buy an LE of the game. I'm not going to support a company that can't execute a non-negotiable. This is a fatal flaw execution in my honest opinion. I don't care how fun it is. I could never play Transformers, look down at that game and not feel what could have been. Name me another game where you've stood over it and you're looking down at it and something is just such a miss and you knew they engineered it to be one way and yet you bought it in a way that doesn't do anything. Name me another game. When we bought Jaws, I didn't buy Jaws, but a lot of people did. When people bought Jaws, that shark, yeah, it didn't eat the ball, but they didn't yank out a working shark that ate the ball at the 11th hour. So I'm also feeling like, and I'm looking at this new car Ferrari just launched, that's hideous, and everyone's making fun of it, this EV car for $640,000, and I'm feeling something in the world. I'm feeling like a brand needs to work extra hard to justify the prices of all of these luxury goods. Pinball is on a smaller scale a luxury good and if you want to maintain your audience you have to keep providing the right kind of value and I think what's happening in Pinball right now is really exciting because we're about to get I think both ends of the spectrum. Stern Pinball came out with Transformers. Within 30 days, we're going to see Sonic the Hedgehog from Jersey Jack. And I think both companies couldn't have a different design philosophy. I think Stern Pinball designs things to be good enough. They're getting a little bit better in certain areas. The code is great when they actually get it out the door. But look, I'm looking at my Pokemon right now. Another month has gone by. Zero code updates. The last code update was insignificant. The topper, which was supposed to come out right away, is still not out. So what are they doing every day? There's a whole team of people working on Pokemon code. They're not doing anything that's reaching consumers. I'm really worried. How can Transformers have 10 times more in it code-wise and the game came out after Pokemon? So yeah, I'm not a very happy camper. And when I see 40 Pokemon LEs for sale, yeah, I don't think a lot of other people are very happy as well. Because if Pokemon Code was insane on day one and the game was as great as it might be one day, then yeah, those guys probably could have scalped those machines for more money. They're never going to get it. And Sonic's going to take the wind out of the sails of not only Pokemon, but also Transformers. But I'm starting to hear things, rumblings, if you will, whispers in the dark. I think a lot of people, not the newbies, because the newbie guys are still like unsure what the heck they just became a part of. And I mean that. Like there's newbies. Even as of yesterday, people are like, so is Sonic going to be the voices from the movie? And I'm like, wait a minute. You're a member of Canada's Pinball Podcast. I talk about this every day. Now speaking of newbies I want to welcome everybody that just joined Canada Pinball Podcast this month We got Max Fry Ramp Master Justin Crapio my boy Crapio at a month I also want to thank Max for being at a month We got Eric We got J who was gifted This is great J was gifted a membership at a month We got Damian Haldi We got Breeze We got Kelly Mountain We got Jason Goldfarb Tobin Flynn and Dog Days rounding out Everybody, welcome to the Canada Club. I was a little bit shocked to see all of you guys, man. I know you guys, you are the big hitters on the Patreon. You're the big hitters when it comes to buying so many games. A lot of you guys have been buying games that lose $3,000 a month and everybody's at $5 a month subscription. Think about it. That is $60 a year for everything you get here. And these dudes are losing three to five thousand dollars on one Stern LE. Do the math on how many years of support for Canada's Pinball Podcast you could give instead of losing five grand on a Stern LE. OK, but here's the thing. I think only the newbies are really the ones that are going to keep falling victim to all of these like overpriced Stern machines. But also what I'm hearing in Pinball is this. I think we're reaching a point now where certain aspects of Pinball have really, really improved. The artwork in games is phenomenal. Games like Beetlejuice, look at that thing. Evil Dead, look at that thing. I even think Pokemon's artwork is really nice. A lot of these games are looking stunning. Harry Potter artwork, look at that thing. We've reached a point now where across the board, pinball machines are more beautiful than they've ever been probably in the history of pinball. That's good news. We've reached a point now where the code, when it's done right, is very, very satisfying. Long, long replay value, a lot to achieve, a lot to strive for in a game, and also just the way the games make you feel. I think we're reaching a point now, too, where there's like a lot of really, really good music in pinball. We don't talk a lot about music in Pinball, but it is such an important element of Pinball. We got Dirty Pool over their barrels. Look at the work he's done on Labyrinth and on Winchester and on Dune. Really, when I hear people talk about these games and the reason why they immerse you so well in the game, it's because the music is incredible. It pulls you in. I would say there's not enough of that in every single Pinball machine. I think more pinball machines need to really think about the music and how that plays such an important part. When it comes to design and layout, this is the interesting part. I would argue that the design and layout of pinball machines, there's only oh so much you can do. And there's only oh so much real estate when it comes to layout and design. And then the hard part is making sure the game itself is a lot of fun to shoot, not just on the first plunge, But on the 1000th plunge. And that's the hard part. When I think about games like Beetlejuice, the one element of Beetlejuice that seems to be the weakest part is you're just not hearing the level of satisfaction on a gameplay front. And that could be an issue because I've been hearing people who own games like Predator and Beetlejuice. And when put side to side and you ask them like which game is more fun to play, which one is more fun to shoot, which one pulls you in, which one gets you energized, which one is the one that's just like a better overall total pinball experience. And it almost kills me to say this because it doesn't have Arnold in it, but I've been speaking to people that have both games and they're like Predator is the better game. And that blows me away in a lot of ways. And it goes against my prejudice against that machine. And I think a lot of us are hearing this feedback. Games like Dune are like a 50 50. Like I hear when Dune is working, it is absolutely an incredible pin. But I also hear that it breaks down a lot and reliability is a big issue. For those of you out there, if you've ever owned a pin, there's nothing worse than it having an issue. It is basically inoperable when something goes down. And so, yeah, like I'm hearing issues on Winchester, issues on Dune. I think that's Barrels is really their next challenge is to get the manufacturing consistency and the quality to a level where people aren't popping the hood on these games. And it's hard because I know now there's still like a little bit of a delay period because they're waiting on parts. I think there's moments in the company, too, where like labor is an issue. We don't ever talk about that. Think about it. When a pinball company has a delay on parts coming in what do they do with the people every day that are manufacturing the games What do they do with that labor Are those people coming into work with absolutely nothing to do They might come in and do a little sub work but then if they can move it to the next station because the part not in there nothing for them to do That the hardest part You know, because then you have to pay those people and they're not making games and every day they're not making games, you're not making money. Or you got to tell those people they're not going to be paid and then they're going to go get another job and then you got to start over again and train those people. But look, here's where I think we're at. I think Stern Pinball Transformers is going to go down as a total miss in the pinball industry. I don't care what the code is. There is no way people are going to stand over that game. And there's no way the mod community is going to be able to fix the issue with the game. I put up a poll. Everybody agrees for the most part what the solution is. It wasn't putting the transforming optimist into the LE only. The solution was don't launch the game until you figure out a solve. And if the solve is to move Optimus to another part of the game so that he can transform without him being bashed and breaking any of the linkage, that's a solution. I don't need Optimus to be hit. I don't even think he should be hit. Why does he need to be bashed? I think Optimus Prime should have transformed in a place on the game where he doesn't break. That toy is like 40 bucks at Walmart. Hasbro gave you a toy that was already engineered. All you had to do was scale it down a little bit and make it work for Pinball and you had two and a half years to do it and you couldn't do it. And it was working as of two weeks ago because we saw it in the promotional video. So this game is going to get forgotten very, very quickly. Then we're going to get Sonic. I think it's going to be great. The other rumor I'm hearing about Sonic and we'll see. I haven't played it yet. I don't know. I heard that the shots are a little tight. I hope that's not the case. We heard that Steve had to open up the ramps a little bit. But in the playfield image I have, you can see there's so many shots. There's like, I don't know, like 10 or 11 shots going across a fan layout. That to me is a little concerning because I've got a Pokemon where there's like six shots going across in the fan layout. And every single shot is buttery smooth and fun to hit. And if you're adding in a lot more shots, I might be a little worried that there's going to be a lot of bricking up and down in that game. We're going to know in just a few weeks. So that game is going to come out. And then out of nowhere, we get this rumor of the fifth element and Pinball Brothers making the fifth element. I want to talk about this because you know this is a dream theme of mine. This is a Take My Money Now theme more so than G1 Transformers because I think people are forgetting the Take My Money Now Transformers was not the series. It was Transformers the movie. I still think Transformers the movie is a way better theme and has way better potential for an exciting pinball experience because of the drama in that movie, because of the characters, the music, the soundtrack, Unicron, Galvatron, Megatron. It's all in there and then some. That has the moments of magic. I don't really remember like the Dinobots or them going up to a golden lake. I know there's all these different moments in the game right now, but I don't remember those moments as much as I remember Megatron versus Optimus and Optimus dying and Ultra Magnus trying to open up the matrix of leadership and going in front of the Quintessons and being told guilty or innocent, innocent. And all those scenes with dare and dare to be stupid and you got the touch. It's a pity you Autobots die so easily or I might have a greater sense of satisfaction. Arise, Rodimus Prime. All of that, man. I remember all of that. I've seen that movie like a thousand times. I don't have the same like goosebumps when I watch the TV show. So but Fifth Element to me is up there in my supernal realm. It's like Acura, Big Trouble in Little China, it's Fifth Element, it's Transformers G1, right there. Give me those and I'd be a happy man for the rest of my pinball life. Now, Pinball Brothers is a company that needs to make a statement. Predator will never recover. They only made 300. The big difference at Pinball Brothers now is that they making their games with Aaron over at Fast and the word of mouth has been great on the Predator game on how it powered on how it holding up It just missing the main mech which is Arnold So if they make the fifth element and I have to assume that they have Bruce Willis in it If they make this game and it's without Bruce Willis, the same way that Predator is without Arnold, and you're playing as Bruce Willis, don't make it. I don't know how you do that because he's in like every single scene. So I'm going to assume that they learn their lesson and this game has Bruce Willis in it. Now, is he allowing himself to be licensed? We know everything he's going through medically right now and it's a very sad story, but maybe they want him to be remembered with all of these things now and maybe they're going to give the green light to put Bruce in his heyday out there in the world. I mean, the pitch I would always do if I were a pinball company, I would try to meet with the families of the people that control these estates and say, look, there's no greater honor than to have a pinball machine based on one of your most iconic roles. We cannot pay the typical licensing fee because the volume of these things is so small. Let us do this. Let us show you what we could do and then make up your mind. Everything's a negotiation at the end of the day. So if they make The Fifth Element with Corbin Dallas and Lilu and Multi-Pass and Zork, this movie is perfect for pinball. The world under glass is right there in front of them. I'm actually more excited about The Fifth Element than I would be of Back to the Future even just because I think it's a tighter single movie to make a pinball experience around. It's also like one of Brenda's favorite movies. Every time it's on, I love it. I love the memories of going into the theater and seeing the fifth element for the first time and having no idea what I was about to witness. And it blew me away. So if this rumor is true, let's think about this. When would this game be coming out? Do we think they'd be ready to bring this game out sometime by the end of the year? Is this something that would be at Expo? Can you imagine that? That we get the fifth element and back to the future available at the same exact time. Pinball Brothers is also a company that can't make a lot of games a year. So if this is true and fifth element is coming out, this game is going to be a crazy seller for them. It will sell out instantly if they announce they're making just like a thousand fifth element games. I put up a picture yesterday. Other than people making fun of the Pinball Brothers here and there, nothing but love for this theme. Nothing but love. I don't know how you could be a grown man that's into action, into sci-fi, and into comedy that doesn't love this movie. It has all three of those in spades. It's also one of Bruce Willis' greatest movies of all time. Okay, so this now makes the year even more interesting as we get to the end of the year in which Goonies, which I'm confirming it's Goonies, Back to the Future, and maybe Fifth Element. You know what's going to be hard are all these remakes and remasters. I think it's going to be hard for Circus Voltaire and for Toten. I don't know what they're waiting for. Apparently this Toten game was in California and then they never put it on the floor. I think they're reworking some stuff. You know, it's just going to feel like a day late and a dollar short. I don't think that Brian Allen on artwork is going to move these games, especially at over $10,000 a pop. I don't think it's going to happen. I think there's too much stuff that's new that people want. And I think these guys are all waiting too long. They're waiting too long. It's like American Pinball announced Circus Voltaire and then what, crickets for four or five months? That's not good marketing. What's the point of that? It's almost like, do you think anyone's going to hold on to their money because you're bringing back something that's like 35 years old? Same thing with Toten. You got a hit when there's a window. And I don't even think there's going to be a window. I really don't. There's just too much new stuff coming out. Six years ago, you could get away with these remasters. Now, I just don't even see where the window is. I think people are just out of space. They're out of space, too. So it's about to get really, really interesting. Ladies and gentlemen, next week is June. We're going to see Sonic. It's going to happen. Can't wait. More Canadian Pinball podcasts coming. Don't buy Transformers. Trust me. Don't support a company that can't execute right. Don't buy it. And if you really want it and need it, Just wait and the prices on this game are going to plummet. Trust me. Canada out.