Journalist Tool

Kineticist

  • HDashboard
  • IItems
  • ↓Ingest
  • SSources
  • KBeats
  • BBriefs
  • RIntel
  • QSearch
  • NName Review
  • +Health

v0.1.0

← Back to items

yukon yeti (whitewater 2) #pinball first impressions

Walt Wood Pinball·video·1h 0m·held·Mar 19, 2026
View original

Analysis

claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 · $0.030

TL;DR

Walt Wood trashes Yukon Yeti as lazy inverted Whitewater with terrible callouts and missing ramp design.

Summary

Walt Wood provides a lengthy first impressions video of Yukon Yeti, Turner Pinball third machine designed by Dennis Nordman as an unofficial Whitewater sequel. Wood is highly critical of the game's callouts, music, and playfield design, arguing it appears to be an inverted copy of Whitewater with inferior design choices, particularly the removal of the iconic ramp ending and replacement with a 5-ball lock mechanism. He contrasts modern pinball design unfavorably with classic designers like Dan Langlois and critiques industry-wide quality decline due to oversaturation of manufacturers.

Key Claims

  • Yukon Yeti is Turner Pinball third pinball machine, designed by Dennis Nordman as the unofficial sequel to Whitewater (1993)

    high confidence · Walt Wood reading official Turner Pinball announcement; states machine is being produced in 500-unit run

  • The playfield appears to be an inverted copy of Whitewater with key design elements removed or altered

    high confidence · Walt Wood Pinball detailed visual analysis of playfield layout and features visible in promotional materials; notes wavy ramp has been replaced with inferior divert and 5-ball lock mechanism replaces upper playfield access

  • Yukon Yeti lacks a traditional ramp, unlike Whitewater

    medium confidence · Walt Wood repeatedly examining playfield images states 'I don't think this game has a ramp' and questions whether upper playfield is accessible only via saucer/upkicker rather than ramp shots

  • The game's callouts are illogical and unfunny, with poor writing quality

    high confidence · Walt Wood extensively critiques specific callout lines like 'You'll never find my secret stash, but I don't even have one' as nonsensical and lacking comedic or logical coherence

  • The piano-based music theme feels out of place for a Yukon/arctic mining setting

    high confidence · Walt Wood notes piano sound reminds him of Old West saloon music rather than yeti/snow theme; says music doesn't fit the setting

Notable Quotes

  • “It's a poor man's white water ramp, dude. Where's the rest of it? You cut off the end and you just... it's the budget version where it just cuts right off.”

    Walt Wood@ 14:27 — Core criticism of design choices; suggests cost-cutting or lazy design iteration

  • “I don't think this game has a ramp. They took like the spot where the ramp would be and put a five ball lock there... it's so obvious you just inverted the playfield.”

    Walt Wood@ 33:16 — Direct accusation that Yukon Yeti is essentially Whitewater inverted; raises questions about design effort and originality

  • “These call outs are whack... The call outs are terrible and they don't make sense and they're not funny... What does that call out mean? It doesn't make sense. It's not funny. It doesn't mean anything logically.”

    Walt Wood@ 21:15 — Repeated emphasis on callout quality as major flaw; distinguishes between 'not funny' and 'illogical' as separate problems

  • “I never thought I'd say this, but like I think we got too many pinball manufacturers now because now we're seeing like all the like it's almost like we have too much content now.”

    Walt Wood@ 26:55 — Industry-level critique: oversaturation reduces quality control and design innovation

  • “Put out a banger and then I'll shut the fuck up... Put out a banger and you won't hear from me. Don't just take Whitewater and flip it upside down and call it a day and call it Yukon Yeti.”

    Walt Wood@ 26:26 — Core challenge to Turner Pinball; Wood's position that he will praise good design but won't accept lazy iterations

Entities

Walt WoodpersonDennis NordmanpersonYukon YetigameTurner PinballcompanyWhite WatergameStern PinballcompanyChris Grannerperson

Signals

  • ?

    product_concern: Yukon Yeti playfield appears to be an inverted/flipped version of Whitewater with key iconic features removed or downgraded (original ramp replaced with inferior divert; upper playfield lock mechanism lacks ramp access)

    high · Walt's detailed analysis comparing promotional images; specific criticism that wavy ramp ending was cut off and 5-ball lock replaced traditional upper playfield ramp shots

  • ?

    product_concern: Game callouts are illogical, unfunny, and poorly written; specific examples cited as nonsensical and failing both comedic and narrative logic

    high · Repeated analysis of callout lines like 'You'll never find my secret stash, but I don't even have one' and extensive critique that modern pinball lacks memorable callout quality compared to classics like White Water

  • ?

    product_concern: Piano-based music sounds like Old West saloon theme rather than arctic/yeti/gold rush setting; creates tonal disconnect

    high · Walt's analysis: 'The piano...reminds me of like a Old West saloon with the bartender...It doesn't really remind me of like a yeti or abominable snowman'

  • ?

    design_philosophy: Designer Dennis Nordman appears to have played it safe by inverting/recycling his own proven Whitewater design rather than creating novel design; possible risk-aversion after design challenges

    medium · Walt speculates: 'maybe Nordman thought to himself, maybe it's safer if I just take one of my tried and true designs and invert it' and notes Nordman also designed 'Galactic Tank Force' as prior example

  • ?

    industry_signal: Too many pinball manufacturers now competing, reducing quality control and forcing faster iterations; fewer gatekeepers means lower-quality products reaching market

Transcript

youtube_auto_sub · $0.000

0:12
I heard there was a new pinball machine. You call yet? Oh, Jing will you
0:29
from Let me read uh let me read what I got here. The synopsis. Yukon Yeti. I like the name. Although it was already on my radar. What? I think American I think American was talking about this that cuz it's supposed to be like a white water too, right? This is supposed to be like white water too, but they didn't call it they're not calling it that. They're rolling with Yukon Yeti. That's just how I say it. Yukon Yeti.
1:11
Oh [ __ ] All right, here we go. I got it on nap. Turner Pinball reveals new game. Dennis Nman's Yukon Yeti this afternoon. Turner Pinball officially revealed its third pinball machine. Yukon Yeti by legendary pinball designer Dennis Nordman. Yukon Yeti is the unofficial sequel to Dennis Dennis's wildly popular 93 Williams pinball machine whitewater. I'll tell you right now, Demo Man flows way better than Whitewater. I mean, Demo, like Whitewater is cool, don't get me wrong. I love it. Like, I love them both. But the thing with Whitewater is the best part of Whitewater is the [ __ ] music.
2:04
Oh, you done did it now. You done did it. That's it. You You did it. You did it. You did it. It's your fault. No, it's your fault. It's your fault. You did it. No, you did it. You're It's your fault. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. Now we're going through it. Now we got to go through it just a little bit. At least a little bit.

“Some of your other content creators noticed it... but I did because I'm not being paid to do this... They're not going to talk about it because they don't want to piss these guys off.”

Walt Wood@ 31:39 — Critique of industry incentive structure; accuses paid content creators of self-censorship for sponsorship money

  • “We are dying for a game that has the heart that these games had... [Dan Langlois was] a genius... God said 'You know what? We need pinball machines in heaven, too.'”

    Walt Wood@ 40:26 — Contrasts Yukon Yeti with innovative designer legacy; reflects on late designer Dan Langlos's influence

  • “I've had people come at me for my influence... 'Hey man, don't be so critical.' Fuck you. This is America. We got the First Amendment.”

    Walt Wood@ 25:52 — Wood's stated independence from industry pressure; frames critical commentary as constitutional right

    • Dan Langlois
    person
    Cassandra Petersonperson
    Christian Sun Pinball Openevent
    Texas Pinball Festivalevent
    [name withheld pending review]event
    American Pinballcompany
    Spooky Pinballcompany
    Jersey Jack Pinballcompany

    high · Walt's extended analogy comparing TV industry (3 channels forcing quality control) to modern fragmented landscape (500+ channels allowing low-quality content); applies directly to pinball: '15' manufacturers now vs. single Stern monopoly previously

  • ?

    community_signal: Paid content creators and influencers self-censor critical commentary to maintain sponsorship relationships with manufacturers; creates biased review ecosystem

    high · Walt's explicit claim: 'Some of your other people who are being paid to do this...they're not going to talk about it because they don't want to piss these guys off' and direct statement 'they want your influence' for sponsorship deals

  • ~

    sentiment_shift: Nostalgia for innovative designers like Dan Langlos who pushed design boundaries; current designers seen as risk-averse and derivative compared to classic era

    high · Extended tribute to Langlos's innovation (Radical, Road Trip, Strange Science) contrasted with Yukon Yeti's apparent design conservatism; Walt frames Langlos as genius whose work we're 'dying for' today

  • ?

    design_innovation: 5-ball lock mechanism in Yukon Yeti appears inspired by or similar to Dan Langlos designs (possibly Strange Science); suggests historical precedent rather than novelty

    medium · Walt notes: 'one of Dan Langlo's games...has a lock that looks very similar to this new five ball lock mechanism...The only difference is on Langlo design, it went in through the top. This one's going in through the bottom'

  • ?

    announcement: Turner Pinball officially announced Yukon Yeti as third machine; 500-unit production run; designed by Dennis Nordman; features avalanche multiball, wavy rapids ramp, dual-path upper playfield, hidden yeti ball lock

    high · Walt reading official Turner Pinball announcement and game specifications from promotional materials

  • ?

    content_signal: Walt Wood positioning himself as independent unbiased critic refusing sponsorships/payments; contrasts with other content creators he perceives as compromised by financial relationships

    high · Multiple statements: 'I'm not being paid to do this,' 'I call balls and strikes because I didn't sell my heart and soul to the devil,' and explicit invitation for Turner to 'put out a banger' to earn his positive coverage

  • ?

    competitor_signal: American Pinball reportedly discussed Whitewater sequel concept before Turner Pinball's official announcement; suggests multiple manufacturers pursuing similar IP/themes

    medium · Walt: 'I think American was talking about this...it's supposed to be like a white water too, right?' indicating prior industry awareness before Turner's reveal

    • 3:37
    See the game, this is raft one. Every raft you get adds another layer to this music and it gets more it it gets another shape. Ready?
    4:25
    It's the best part of the whole game is Chris Graner's [ __ ] music.
    4:34
    The best part of Nordman's game is Chris Graner's music. Sorry. It's the way it is. This is the way it is. And then
    7:33
    So, you can hear how the music evolves with each raft. This is the best part of Whitewater
    7:42
    right now. I'm sorry if you're not digging this. You can skip forward in the video. Okay, [ __ ] off. This is the best part of pinball is the music. Okay, I don't give a [ __ ] what anybody says about it. This is Dude, playing this game as a kid and listening to this music. It's the greatest time of my life, bro. It might be getting into this music. I mean, Black Knight, I can list on and on. I got to catch my breath. Getting into it, bro. I can't help it. This the way I roll. If you don't know me by now, this is the way I roll.
    8:26
    Yeah, I feel good. My girls in Norway at this tournament. What is it called? The [ __ ] Let me look it up. They should be streaming here in a minute. I don't know what it's called. It's called uh the Christian Sun Pinball Open. It's in Norway. And my girl Cassandra Cassie Big, you know her as Cassie Big. I call her Cassandra. She's out there and I'm so damn proud. She's going to blow these blow these people away. They're going to be like, "What the [ __ ] is going on in Colorado? I need to know. I can't wait. But bro, let me tell you something. This music is the best part of Whitewater, okay? I mean, we can keep going down the rafts. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to bring you I mean, this is 20 minute long video. Do you want to go through every raft? I will do it. I don't give a [ __ ] I'm like that. I love music that much. You guys probably want me to start talking about the new game. So, let's move on. Let's I can't. Music's a drug. I don't know what to tell you. That's why I said you did this in the beginning. Remember, you did this. You brought up the music. You made me think of the music. It was you.
    9:54
    So, here we go. here's. So anyway, they decided in their wondrous in their wondrous foresight, you know what we're going to do? We're going to make a Yukon Yeti. But they're not calling it Whitewater, too. We'll call it Yukon Yeti. But you see how Whitewater Yukon Yeti Y. You see the Yeah, I see how they're get. I see how they came up with the names. I think they're doing that with a lot of pinball machines. Medieval Madness MM. So, you got Medieval Madness MM Yukon Yeti Y and Whitewater WW. Is that a coincidence? I don't know. Maybe maybe uh like two words that come after that both begin with the same letter. Maybe that works better like when it comes to games and titles. I don't I have no idea. I'm just speculating. I just can't help but notice a pattern here. You now it's here with Yukon Yeti. All right, here we go. Let's see.
    11:03
    All right, here we go. We got it. I got it loaded right here. Let's [ __ ] go. So on Nap, is there anything we don't know? Yukon Yeti is a gold a Klondike Klondike gold rush pinball adventure blah blah blah blah blah. made by Turner Pinball, producing 500 units. They're going to make 500 games apparently. Okay.
    11:36
    All right. Avalanche fiveball multiball lock that releases an avalanche of balls during multiball. It also contains the signature whitewater wavy rapids ramp, a dual path upper playfield, hidden Yeti ball lock. Yeah, it's sounding a lot like white water. Well, I saw some sketches of this in the past and it looked a lot like white water. Let's see what we got. Okay.
    12:03
    Anyone seen a yeti around here? Gary, big feet. Handsome. >> Come on, stranger. Shoot that ball.
    12:09
    Come on, stranger. Shoot that ball.
    12:09
    Come on, stranger. Shoot that ball. >> Rapids, fires, avalanches, and gold
    12:11
    Rapids, fires, avalanches, and gold
    12:11
    Rapids, fires, avalanches, and gold galore. This is Yukon Yeti. >> Don't slow down now. Opportunity waits
    12:17
    Don't slow down now. Opportunity waits
    12:17
    Don't slow down now. Opportunity waits for notebook. >> You'll never find my secret stash. I
    12:23
    You'll never find my secret stash. I
    12:23
    You'll never find my secret stash. I don't even have one. Oh, >> the overplay field. Okay.
    12:34
    You're a wy one. >> Why does everyone keep saying it's cold
    12:36
    Why does everyone keep saying it's cold
    12:36
    Why does everyone keep saying it's cold out here?
    12:45
    That's the five ball lock. Avalanche
    12:45
    That's the five ball lock. Avalanche people.
    12:51
    Me and the girls are rooting for you.
    12:51
    Me and the girls are rooting for you. Yukon Yeti. >> Oh, dude. I'm I'm sorry. I got to stop.
    12:55
    Oh, dude. I'm I'm sorry. I got to stop.
    12:56
    Oh, dude. I'm I'm sorry. I got to stop. These [ __ ] call outs are [ __ ] terrible, dude. Come on, man. It's How come like these call outs sound like this [ __ ] have no soul? Like, what the [ __ ] is going on? Look at Listen to this. I'm going back to beginning. Anyone seen a yeti around here? >> First of all, like the piano, I don't
    13:18
    First of all, like the piano, I don't
    13:18
    First of all, like the piano, I don't really understand the piano. The piano's for like a [ __ ] It reminds me of like a Old West [ __ ] saloon with the bartender.
    13:32
    Give me a [ __ ] Give me a Give me a tab. In Hoya, we pull whiskey. You know what I mean? Like that kind of [ __ ] Like it doesn't really remind me of like a [ __ ] yeti or abominable [ __ ] snowman, you know? >> Come on, stranger. Shoot that ball.
    13:49
    Come on, stranger. Shoot that ball.
    13:49
    Come on, stranger. Shoot that ball. >> I mean, I'm not saying I don't like the
    13:50
    I mean, I'm not saying I don't like the
    13:50
    I mean, I'm not saying I don't like the [ __ ] piano. That's what it reminds me of. WW All right. So, it's got Okay, here I got a good shot right here of the playfield. I got a [ __ ] w the wavy ramp from Whitewater is back, but only they didn't put the cool [ __ ] ending on it. They put like a little just divert. So, it's like a poor man's [ __ ] It's a poor man's white water ramp, dude. Where's the rest of it? You cut off the [ __ ] end and you just Dude, the other one does the cool thing where it like swivels around inside of there. This is like the the budget version where it just cuts right off. Okay, whatever. [ __ ] me then. One of my sisters for memory hole at that never happened. Walter, you never played a game with a spiral on it. Okay, I never did it. 2 plus two is five. We got some What? It looks like targets over there. Orbit maybe. I don't know what this is. I got to see it a little more to see. This looks like the lock they're talking about. So, you lock a ball in there and it brings it up. You lock another ball, it brings it up. You lock another. It's kind of cool.
    15:23
    I mean, I don't know, dude. It's It's It's all right. It's I I think it's going to look cooler than it's actually like fun to shoot because it looks like there's like a little opening right here and you shoot it. Uh, >> well, maybe we can see it in motion. But
    15:35
    well, maybe we can see it in motion. But
    15:35
    well, maybe we can see it in motion. But the first [ __ ] thing that's getting me is these call outs, dude. >> Avalanches and gold galore. This is
    15:42
    Avalanches and gold galore. This is
    15:42
    Avalanches and gold galore. This is Yukon Yeti. >> Don't slow down now. Opportunity waits
    15:46
    Don't slow down now. Opportunity waits
    15:46
    Don't slow down now. Opportunity waits for no one. >> You never find my secret stash. But I
    15:52
    You never find my secret stash. But I
    15:52
    You never find my secret stash. But I don't even have one. >> Come on, bro. What is this?
    15:55
    Come on, bro. What is this?
    15:55
    Come on, bro. What is this? >> Oh, find my secret stash. I don't even
    15:58
    Oh, find my secret stash. I don't even
    15:58
    Oh, find my secret stash. I don't even have one. What does that even mean? Is that supposed to be funny? No. [ __ ] you. I'm calling these [ __ ] out on their call their call outs cuz our call outs these days suck my balls. I am sick of it. Where's And they don't have to be like [ __ ] you know what I mean? Like dude, we can even take Whitewater. Like what happened to Whitewater? Say your prayers. Oh, lost another one. When you get that hurry up and you don't get it in time. Lost another one. That's a great [ __ ] call out, you know? What happened TO THAT? HOWDY, FOLKS. How about you start up the game, gone fishing, leave a message. I mean, come on, dude. There's so much you could do here. What does this even mean? Please, somebody explain to me what the [ __ ] this means. >> My secret st
    16:49
    My secret st
    16:49
    My secret st >> opportunity waits for no one.
    16:51
    opportunity waits for no one.
    16:52
    opportunity waits for no one. >> What that my secret stash, but I don't
    16:55
    What that my secret stash, but I don't
    16:55
    What that my secret stash, but I don't even have one. >> What does that mean? Please. You'll
    16:59
    What does that mean? Please. You'll
    16:59
    What does that mean? Please. You'll never find my secret stash, but who knows if I got one. What the [ __ ] is that supposed to be? Funny, logical. I don't know. It's not logical or funny. What the [ __ ] does that mean? I'm asking you. Answer me.
    17:23
    God help me. Seriously, this is Why is everything so lame? Like, why are our call outs so lame, bro? And this goes out to Stern. This goes out to everybody, bro. Like, step it the [ __ ] up. If you need me to write, hit me up. I will write call outs for you. I will do the call outs for free. I don't care. I don't want to be paid for this. I will help you. Trust me, you need help. You [ __ ] need help with call outs, dude. And it's not just you, K Yeti. It's [ __ ] everybody, bro. I haven't heard a funny, memorable call out in years. I don't remember the last funny one I've heard, dude. Like, say your prayers. That's [ __ ] funny. When you get River Class 6 in Whitewater. OH, SAY YOUR PRAYERS. Oh my god, it's hilarious. Welcome to Wet Willies. Yeah, bro. There you go. See, another thing. Wet Willies, Whitewater, Yukon Yeti. It's always two letters of the same the same letter. You notice that? I'm starting to notice that. Come on, bro. What's going on with these call outs? The playfield shots. Honestly, it looks like they took Whitewater and went and flipped it inverted. They just inverted white water, dude. That's what it looks like to me so far. Like, what the [ __ ] is in here that's different than white water? I mean, it literally looks just like The only thing different is you took the ramp out and you put this lock locking ball mechanism in there. In fact, it's it's not even as good cuz the other one had a ramp that led up to there. Now, it seems like the only thing that leads up to there is a [ __ ] uh an a vuck, an upkicker because there was times in Whitewater when you had the 5x lit and you didn't want to shoot the middle to get the easy feed up to the top like that. So, you want to shoot the ramp to try and get a shot at it. But this one doesn't look like you can shoot any ramps to get up there. You only shoot a saucer to get up or shoot a vuck to get up there. I don't know. It looks like they took white water and just flipped it over. That's what it looks like. Like, can somebody tell me what's different? I don't understand what's different. Except they took [ __ ] out. They took out the [ __ ] end of this. There's supposed to be the ball the [ __ ] uh spiral thing. Remember you you shoot it. It's like a And you think they're going to have those call outs in the game with those people like those are in the game, dude. It's in the game when you shoot that. Like listen hard. There's these call outs of these people in the game. Bro, these call outs are whack. I can't get over that. >> Avalanches and gold galore. This is Yeti
    20:19
    Avalanches and gold galore. This is Yeti
    20:19
    Avalanches and gold galore. This is Yeti >> as I get blasted in the dick by a call
    20:21
    as I get blasted in the dick by a call
    20:21
    as I get blasted in the dick by a call out. waits for notebook. >> You'll never find my secret stash, but I
    20:27
    You'll never find my secret stash, but I
    20:27
    You'll never find my secret stash, but I don't even have one. >> Okay, that makes no sense. I'm sorry.
    20:30
    Okay, that makes no sense. I'm sorry.
    20:30
    Okay, that makes no sense. I'm sorry. It's still illogical. You'll never find my secret stash, but I don't even have one. Like, what are you talking about? That doesn't Who wrote that? I want to know who wrote that cuz I want to question you. What does this mean?
    20:51
    You're lucky I got kicked out of Texas Pinball Festival because I would literally go down there and find who wrote that and question them. What the [ __ ] does this mean? You're lucky I'm not allowed. I'm banned from the Texas Festival. You're lucky cuz I I'm reading right here. It says they have a booth, a Turner pinball booth at this week's Texas Pinball Festival. I want answers. What does that call out mean? It doesn't It's not funny. It doesn't mean anything logically. I'm sorry. I have to be overanalytical here because they're not funny. So, when you're not funny, I got to overanalyze why it's not funny.
    21:33
    You're a wy one.
    21:34
    You're a wy one. >> Oh, you're a wy one. See, that's not
    21:36
    Oh, you're a wy one. See, that's not
    21:36
    Oh, you're a wy one. See, that's not bad. I can run with that. Oh, you're a wy one. Okay, I'll take that. >> As everyone keeps saying, it's cold out
    21:43
    As everyone keeps saying, it's cold out
    21:43
    As everyone keeps saying, it's cold out here. Apple people. >> What does everyone keep saying?
    21:54
    What does everyone keep saying?
    21:54
    What does everyone keep saying? What does everybody keep saying? It's cold out here. My balls keep shrinking. I can't feel my balls. Put some It's Is it cold out here or my balls turning blue? Or is it just me or some [ __ ] like that? I don't know. Talk about how your balls are blue cuz it's so [ __ ] cold out there. May I don't know. Put something funny in there. Please. I'm begging you. My life is horrible. I need to laugh.
    22:30
    Oh my god. Please. I'm begging you. Do me this personal favor. Lord God knows. God knows I don't ask you for much.
    23:06
    See, I I like I like the anime. It
    23:06
    See, I I like I like the anime. It reminds me of fire or it reminds me of uh there's a mode in in Kingpin that does that too.
    23:26
    Come on down. It reminds me of a [ __ ] uh what do you call it?
    23:37
    And I come on down in the morning. [ __ ] whatever. Shut. You know, you got to give me something [ __ ] uh like the Charleston or like the 20s or But the problem is he's like like it's like the snow and [ __ ] So I'm like seeing like it it doesn't fit. Like for me it doesn't fit. Like when I hear that music I think of like a [ __ ] uh like an oldtimey bar where the saloon He's got like a s like a spit cup and a spatoon. In here we pour whiskey, you know, like that kind of like we're in a bar. Like where are we in a bar? Like I don't think we're in a bar. Are we in a bar? I see. We're We're in a western town, but then there's just a guy at Ice Guy, Yukon Yeti. Yeah, the music seems out of place. The callouts are atrocious, bro. The call outs are terrible and they don't make sense and they're not funny. I don't care if they're not funny, but at least have them make sense. Like, you're not going to find the golden st the my hidden stash and who knows if I got one. What? What is that? What are you talking about? What the [ __ ] are you talking about? And nobody else is going to say this. Everybody who's reviews this video is just going to be like, "This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. OH MY GOD, it's amazing. And I'm busting nuts in my pants cuz they're just trying to sell games and they want subscriptions and views and all that [ __ ] They're all phonies. All of them. All these [ __ ] They're all full of [ __ ] Bro, I've had to cut people out of my life and and block people because I realize, "Oh, dude, he's one of them. Oh [ __ ] he's an enemy. Oh god, he's he's part of the system. Oh no." Oh, and they try and infiltrate and get in. Oh, man. It's It's a terrible thing cuz people are just trying to sell games. So, they want your influence. Like, I've had people come at me like for my influence and my cuz I'm somewhat popular doing this in the scene in the pinball scene, if you want to call it that in our world. Hey man, you should really talk about this. Hey man, you should Hey man, don't be so critical. [ __ ] you. This is America here. We got the First Amendment, [ __ ] America. Okay. And you know what? You know what? Why don't you put out a banger and then I'll shut the [ __ ] up. You know the easiest way to get me to shut the [ __ ] up? Put out a really good game and you won't hear a peep from me. You know why? Because I'll be too busy playing it.
    26:26
    Put out a banger and you won't hear from me. Don't just take Whitewater and flip it upside down and call it a [ __ ] day and call it Yukon Yeti and expect me to get my put my dick in the dirt. Like, no. You're not going to be putting my dick in the dirt with [ __ ] like this. I'm telling you right now. Okay.
    26:53
    God, bro. I never thought I'd say this, but like I think we got too many pinball manufacturers now because now we're seeing like all the like it it's almost like we have too much content now. Like see back in the day when like Seinfeld was big, there was like three channels. So, you knew that the the TV shows that made it to those like one of, you know, five channels or whatever, you knew it had to be good. Like even if it was something you didn't like, it was it had some things in there that were really good. Even friends, like I wasn't a big fan of Friends, but there's still some good writing in there. There's still some good [ __ ] people could hook on to. The [ __ ] theme song is great, you know? I mean, it's catchy as [ __ ] And that's just science, dude. That's not whether I like it or not. It's just it's catchy. You will have it in your head. But ne but but and but nowadays because mainstream TV isn't that popular and we all have streaming services. We all got Peacock Plus and Disney Plus and Go [ __ ] [ __ ] Your Mother Plus and you know YouTube Plus and all the Prime Plus and Paramount Plus and all this [ __ ] Like there's too much there's too many uh ways to be seen. So, no one's like doing a, you know, a quality check to make sure that this [ __ ] is really good before it hits the air like they did back in the day with shows like Seinfeld and Friends. This, you knew that those shows had to be really, really good in order to get one on one of those five channels. But today, because we have like 500 channels, five million channels essentially, I could create a new channel right now. five million in one. You know, it goes on and on because we have so many like there's too many shows. So, no one's quality checking the shows that go on. So, that's why most of our [ __ ] these days is [ __ ] Plus, they're trying to pass like ideologies like, "Hey, all hey, white people, you're all racist. Hey, I want you to know So, you need to confront the racism in yourself by looking at this black chick who's now your boss or whatever it is. Like, we put a black chick in to make you white people remember you're a racist, you know, or whatever it is. Like, they're all trying to pass this message,
    29:39
    you know what I mean? And uh it's like, yeah, so quality like the quality of the content has suffered in order to pass both ideologies and politics. Politics has also creeped into everything. And politics isn't funny. Politics isn't funny. So when you work politics into my TV show, what happens to my TV show? It's not funny. There you go. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. What do we have for him, Johnny? We've got a lifetime supply of tartar sauce. Have a great life. You know why tartar sauce? I don't know. because I picked a random thing. My point is there's too many channels. So, because there's too many channels, nobody's quality checking the [ __ ] that goes on. And the same thing is now happening with our pinball manufacturers or the people who choose to make pinball machines. See, back in the day, you had to really quality check this [ __ ] You want to make sure we're we're going with this theme. All right, let's run with it. But nowadays, because there's like 15, you know, and there back in the day there was one manufacturer, Stern. So Stern knew that, all right, we got to run with this game and it's got to be a good design. So Stern isn't going to [ __ ] around and put out a playfield like Galactic Tank Force, who was designed by Dennis Nordman. I'm sorry, bro. I can't let you go on this one. I This is also the guy who designed [ __ ] Galactic Tank Force. So with that in mind, you have to think maybe Nordman thought to himself, maybe it's safer if I just take one of my tried andrue designs and invert it. And hopefully no one's going to notice. I did. Sorry. I don't know if other some of your other content creators noticed it, but I did because I'm not being paid to do this. Some of your other people who are being paid to do this or count on you guys giving them a little cheddar every month, I'm not going to name any names, but I think you know who they are.
    31:57
    They're not going to talk about it because they don't want to piss these guys off. Same with Stern. Same with Spooky. Same with Turner. Same with Jersey Jack. This is why they only say, "Well, this game's, you know, it's going to be a challenge." They choose their words very carefully because they're getting that cheddar every month. Me, your boy, nah, I call balls and strikes because I didn't sell my heart and soul to the devil. I talked directly to God. So, you know what? God talked to me and said this game sucks. No, I don't think this game's gonna suck. I think it's gonna shoot pretty good, actually, because it's essentially white water. The only bummer is the call outs. The call outs and music so far are pretty boring. If that can be changed, if if this can be changed, maybe you might get me because the playfield shots and design doesn't look too bad. The only bummer is there's no ramp that leads up to the top. In fact, I don't think there's a ramp at all. Let's look at this again. Is there a ramp? Oh, wait. I got it right here. Let me look at it right here. Let me look at this playfield one more time. Do we have a [ __ ] ramp in here? I don't think there's a ramp. I don't think this game has a ramp.
    33:23
    They took like the spot where the ramp would be and put a [ __ ] five ball lock there. And then I guarantee after they were done designing it, they probably realized, "Oh [ __ ] this game doesn't have a ramp. This game has no ramp." And it's got the ramp on the top. The wacky wacky wild and fun wacky wet and wild uh white water ramp.
    33:54
    But that's it. And dude, it's so obvious you just inverted the playfield. I mean, come on, dude.
    34:03
    I mean, Nordman probably thought this was safer, dude, than trying to design taking another L. He He might be working on something and might have looked at it or might have had people look at it and go, "Yeah, dude, just run with white water." Like, people expect a lot these days. That's the thing. These are all old designers, too. Like, these are like 90s designers. So, we're expecting a lot more out of our pinball machines than we were getting in the 90s. I mean, it's just it's just a fact, you know, in rules, in in rules, and code, in playfield design, in mechs, in toys. We're we're expecting light. Your your guy your [ __ ] your video screens, your light shows. That's important to some people. Not necessarily me, but it's important to some people. I can respect it. Your video screens, your light shows, we want more, right? You guys want more. You want a bigger screen. That's why Stern put that [ __ ] big screen on there, right?
    35:05
    I don't notice a difference. Like, they put the big screen on Walking Dead. I didn't notice a difference. I like The Walking Dead now that they put the icons for the things on the screen. That's pretty cool. But you could have got away with that with the smaller size screen and then I wouldn't have noticed any difference. Whatever. Who cares what I think, right?
    35:31
    I don't know, man. I think this was a safe play by by this dude. Yo, I'm just going to do a safe design, but I don't see a ramp, though. And I'm just like, it's just weird. Okay, so the undershot leads to Okay, undershot leads under the flipper shot. Okay, I'm just watching the video play through again and make sure I don't see a ramp. I don't see a ramp. Unless that flap comes down. There's like a flap over the avalanche ball lock that might come down to to reveal a ramp. I don't know. I don't think so, dude. I think that's just a plastic guard. I I'm willing to bet that they changed that thing. They changed the ramp into that mech and and were so blown away with what they had done. Oh my god, this is a pinball first and people are going to be jerking off all over themselves to get this game. And oh my god, what are you going to do with your millions? I don't know. Maybe I'll buy a villa in France. What are you going to do with your millions? I don't know. I might go [ __ ] around [ __ ] a bunch of 20-year-olds for a few years. What are you going to do with your millions? Like they all thought they were going to be like millionaires and have like stars on the pinball walk of fame or whatever in Vegas. I'm sure there is one, right? Pinball Walk of Fame. They all thought this is going to change the world. But I look at that, dude, and honestly it looks kind of boring to me. That mech looks a little boring. I get it. You shoot a ball and it moves up. You shoot a ball and it moves up. You shoot a ball and you're you're loading it. I get it. Um, what's his what's his uh face? The the poor kid that got hit by that car. What's his name? The designer. Dan Langlo. Langlos. Langlo. Langlo. Something like that. He was young. He got hit by a car. Man, that's the stories I've been hurt. I've been told by people when I as I ask about this dude cuz we have me and this dude have a lot in common. We were both hit by a car when we were 33. Only God chose to take him because God needed more really good pinball designers in heaven. That's what I believe. And you might think I'm crazy, but [ __ ] you. Like, what kind of What do you think they're doing in heaven? Of course, they got to be designing pinball machines in heaven. So, that's why God has to make tough decisions like that. That's what I think. God decided to take him, but left me. We we were both hit at 33 years old. Me and this guy Dan Langlos. Yeah, I remember seeing that, bro. I was like, yo,
    38:17
    why did why was I spare? And then I started thinking about, okay, maybe there's some things I need to work on, you know? Why this dude? Yeah, Dan Langlo, man. He was a really interesting designer. He was, Dude, he was like his times Elwin, bro. He was pushing the envelopes doing different [ __ ] Look at Radical. Look at Road Trip. Look at uh Strange Science. Look at uh what's another Lang Lois game? Gilligans Island was he was designing that when he got hit by the car. So it was like the beginning of his design and somebody else finished it. I think his name might have been Ward Peton. I'm not too sure on that. You could check me on that. I don't know. I'm just going off top my head, gang. I don't know on this, but I just know that Dan Langlo's guy, man. He's a dude I wish I could have talked to, man. [ __ ] But on a game, Strange Science, or no, it's uh it might be Strange Science. He also did Heavy Metal Meltdown. Heavy Metal Meltdown. Strange Science H one of those games has a lock that looks very similar to this new five ball lock mechanism that he's got going on here. The only difference is on on Langlo design, it went in through the top. This one's going in through the bottom, but essentially it was loading in five balls. And I don't remember the exact design, like which exact game it was. You guys can look it up. It's one of Dan Langlo's designs. I just can't remember the exact one. It might be Strange Science. Now that I'm thinking about it, I think it might be Strange Science, but it it's [ __ ] amaz All super original games. every game this dude made. Super original. Radical. Go look at Radical, man. Super original. That's what we need now. Pinball is dying. Dying for a radical. For a [ __ ] uh heavy metal meltdown, a strange science, dude. A [ __ ] Oh my god. A road trip. We're We are dying for a game that has the heart that these games had and the design, the fact they were so different. Road Trip had four ramps, one on each flipper, and each one fed to a different flipper. Bro, it's The guy was a genius. Langlo was a genius. That's why God took him when he did. I can't get mad at him. I can't get mad at the Lord for this. This is why he to he was ahead of his time. And God said, "You know what? We need pinball machines in heaven, too. What do you think we're going to play when we all die?" Hello. We're not ready to see these designs, bro. Can you imagine the designs Lang Lewis and company have been cooking up since we've been here? Dude, that's what I can't get mad at God, though. He had to take him. He had to take him. It's the Lord's will. That's the way he works. I don't know why. It's just the way it is.
    41:27
    But that's what we need now. But my point with that whole long rant, if y'all who whoever and many of you stuck with me, I don't know,
    41:39
    is I'm pretty sure that he designed something like that similar, but only it went through the the top instead of the bottom. That's my point.
    41:52
    Where do we go from here? Well, like I said, the call outs and the [ __ ] music I'm not crazy about. I wish they would have done like taken the Whitewater soundtrack, dude. What? Get Chris Granner. Why can't you contact Chris Graner,
    42:12
    you know? Can't Can't they get a hold of Chris Graner, dude? and just let him know, yo, dude, he seems like a nice guy. Yo, Chris, we're making a white water, too. Do you think you could, you know, cuz he's not going to do the same theme? He's going to remix it a little bit. He was literally remixing it in real time in Whitewater. Every time you get a raft, the music changes. We We've went through this already. You want to go through it again? I'll make you listen to it again. The funny thing is I will listen to it again. I will totally listen to it again. I'll pick up where we left off. You want to pick up where we left off? [ __ ] Raph Five. I'll listen that [ __ ] all day. Get a hold of Chris Graner, dude. I mean, bro, like I'm sure the guy would love to do that. If I did did some music for Pinball Machine and you hit me up 30 years later and was like, "Yo, dude, we're gonna make I wouldn't even want money." This is me personally. I can't speak for Granner, but I would me personally, I wouldn't want money. It'd be a passion project. I'd be like, "Dude, [ __ ] yeah. I got some ideas cuz Graner is a musician. He's probably like I'm sure like over the course of time he's probably had some more ideas for Whitewater. like, "Oh, it would have been cool if I put that in, but the game's already, you know, he he probably came up with that 20 years later. It would have been cool if I put that in, but I didn't." This would give him a chance to put all his post Whitewater ideas into the Yukon Yeti. Yukon Yeti, you know, like this would give him his ideas that he's had post Whitewater. he can rework those into the theme and that would catch into more people because they would hear something reminiscent. See, this is the thing. You're not t tapping into any reminiscence musically. I'm not hearing anything that kind of sounds like similar to something I know. But if you want to move games, especially a sequel, you tap into the reminiscence. Oh, dude, I kind I that sounds similar to white. Something like that. You got to get a hold of granite. You can't make a Whitewater sequel without Chris Granner. You know, I don't think they realized that. I don't think they realized how important the music was to Whitewater when they took on this project. There's a there's a couple things I don't think this Turner pinball people, and it's no disrespect to them, but I don't think they realized the undertakings of a Whitewater. Like there's a lot more things that we appreciate the game that are not just the shots and layout and playfield. Like the art, the [ __ ] music, the call outs, all this [ __ ] you know, that they just didn't even pay attention to at all. Like they didn't even pay attention to the art, to the sound effects, to the call outs, you know? There's no sense of reminiscence here to the Whitewater. It's a sequel, but I don't even I don't even know that. If I'm new to pinball, this could be a brand new game to me. I don't know that there was a Whitewater game. Like, I should know if I'm new to pinball, I should play this and and and go, "Oh [ __ ] this is based off another game. Oh, dude, I want to play the first game and see what what that was all about." You know, this should push people back to try Whitewater, you know? It should And then you play Whitewater and it should inspire you to play Yukon Yeti. It should be a [ __ ] uh like a a continuous circle, you know, or a cycle.
    45:49
    I don't know, man. I think Norman got his feelings hurt and got his dick kicked in a little bit from Galactic Tank Force. And you know what? American let him go. And I think I mean, you know what? At least that I see I was under the impression that American had this playfield design and he wasn't allowed to do it. That might be the case. That's why he flipped it now that I'm thinking about it. That might be the case. If I Dude, that might be the case. That's probably why they inverted the playfield because American Pinball still has the license to this. I I don't know for sure. I'm just speculating. I was under the impression that American Pinball still had control of Nordman's design, the Whitewater 2 or whatever the [ __ ] they were calling it. So, could you get around that by just inverting the playfield? Maybe. And then you could call it a new design. This might be why the playfield's inverted. I might have just figured out why the playfield inverted. I don't know. I'm just speculating. I'm just thinking off top of my head. I have no inside information here. I'm just like off the top of my head. I just wanted to see this game and do a reaction, guys. I know you know you guys respect what I think. Some of you don't give a [ __ ] what I think. I don't care either way, really. I just wanted to talk about it. Um, that's what I think. That's what I think about it. I think it looks cool, man. I'm I'm interested to shoot it, but I'm not excited. I haven't been excited about a pinball since Godzilla, bro. And you can wake me up when a [ __ ] game comes out that you think might get me excited. Beetlejuice. No, bro. Because it was all the hype, dude. And you guys fell for the hype, bro. They gave you the candy bars and you fell for life. I called it. I to I [ __ ] totally called it. Go back and watch my video. I called it. I [ __ ] called it. I called it because those modes are still boring, dude. They haven't changed anything in the in the Beetlejuice game. That's the only way you can make your Beetlejuice game better. You got to change those modes. The modes are lame. And the and the Deo multiball where it flips the flippers automatically. Get that [ __ ] out of there, bro. Get it the [ __ ] out of there. I don't want games flipping my flippers for me. That's my job, bro. Get that [ __ ] out of there. That is such a turnoff, dude. I'm telling you, bro. Big turnoff. Red flag. Like if we're dating and you do that [ __ ] your ass is You're walking home. You're walking home. We're breaking up. Well, I will break up over you over that. That's a breakupable offense. Me and Bele like I will break up Beetlejuice. We're broken up. I'll break up with you over that [ __ ] You're flipping my flippers for me. Knock it the [ __ ] off. And when you're not flipping the flippers, you're getting me in modes where it's like shoot a pop, shoot a sling, shoot a dirty der. We talked about this. I'm not going to talk about it again. Don't make me talk about it again. My point is, put some arrows in front of the shots. Shoot three of those. Shoot this three times. Great. Like, dude, the slings and pops and targets are the things you're trying to avoid in the pinball machine. You don't want to have the player to try and shoot for those things. Like a rule of thumb is you're trying to avoid the standups and the slings and the pops and all that crap. So you you're not it's it does it's not really good practice to have the player try and shoot for all the things that you're trying to [ __ ] avoid. You know what I'm You know what I'm saying to you? You know what I'm saying to you? I hope you get it cuz all those [ __ ] at at Spooky, I love all you guys, man. I wish you the best. I wish you success. You got the passion. What you guys are lacking is somebody over there that's really good at pinball. That's what that's what Spooky needs. That's what [ __ ] That's what I mean Stern is the best at. You got Ray Day. You got Josh Henderson. I never met but apparently he was really good pinball player back in the day. And I I Henderson was the only one blowing up the Pokemon game. I'm like, "Thank God." Everybody else was like, "Oh, I missed the button. Oh, I slipped on a banana peel." It's like, dude, didn't you work on this [ __ ] game and you don't even know like what you're doing? What are you [ __ ] talking about? What are you talking about? I'm so like, you don't have to be at my level, bro. You don't have to be one of the best in the world. I'm not asking you to be like top 100 player. I'm just asking you to hit the button when the come the ball comes to you. You know what I'm saying? One of the guys in the last video or the one before missed the flipper button. That is a fireable offense. Dude, if I'm the president of Stern and you miss the flipper button, you're fired. You're fired. Get the [ __ ] out. You miss the button, get the [ __ ] out. Because I could think of a thousand people that would love to work here that will never miss the flipper button. So get the [ __ ] out. I will pack your locker. Shut the [ __ ] up. You missed the flipper button. Does your shirt say Stern pinball employee? Take that [ __ ] off right now and get out of my company. Get the [ __ ] out of here. That's me. If I'm in charge, you're not missing the button on my watch if you work for me. No, nobody's missing the button if I'm in the office. Never. Okay, you understand me?
    51:49
    We'll see. Maybe one day there'll be a wood pinball. We'll see. I got to get a little wiser and older and get some money together. Calm down, guys. I know the world is waiting for a what pinball machine soon. Someday I think in my lifetime I will design a pinball machine and it will be good because I won't [ __ ] rest until that thing is good. That's just the way I roll. That's the way I make music. That's the way I do everything in my life. I don't [ __ ] stop until I think that [ __ ] is as as good as I think it can be. As great as I think it can be. And whether my definition of great means your definition this game sucks. That's okay. You could think it sucks. But it to me it's just I wanted this thing this whatever I'm working on to be the greatest possible thing. And that's the only way I will let this leave the factory or the shop or the office or whatever. The only way you're gonna see it is if I know that this is the best possible way we can do it and we didn't compromise. Oh, well, we couldn't get that song. Okay, well, we'll put it anyway. [ __ ] you. If the song makes the mode or whatever, we couldn't get it. We're not doing it. That's the way wood pinball is going to roll. Maybe one day. I don't know. We'll see. But I guess that's all I got. Little update about me. I got a job. Yeah, I'm making sandwiches with the best of them. I'm making sandwiches at the Chiba Hut. You know where Chiba Hut is? It's probably one of the dopest spots in Colorado, man. If you ever come by, come on in. We'll take care of you. I love Cheba Hut. They got some of the best some of the best sandwiches around right down the street. Come on in. If you come to Colorado, come into Chiba Hut. Ask for your boy. We'll take great care of you. We will take great care of you. Until that moment, I don't think I got anything else. I think that's it. I got a tournament in October. I talked about that last time. They invited me. They invited me to come to a tournament. Can you believe it? They invited me. They said, "Walter, for some reason, I'm sending you an invite to a tournament. I don't know why.
    54:35
    Walter, you've been banned from one of the 50 states. You're not even allowed to come in this the literally the tournament that's going on right now. But I'm going to invite you to the Stern Pro Circuit Championship, baby. Eat your heart out, Texas. And I got no problem with Texas Pinball Festival. Yo, you want to reach out to me and apologize? I'm here. You know, you guys [ __ ] up. You almost had me arrested. You accused me of having weapons in my bag. Come on, dude. Everybody that knows me knows I'd never hurt a fly. I'm I'm Dude, I'm passionate guy, but I would never There's no violence in me, dude. I would never hurt anybody. You had me kicked off property. Kic They had me kicked off the premises, escorted off by security, and then the guy accused me of having weapons on me, and threatened to call the cops on me. And then he chased me across the street. I thought I was going to get arrested and thrown into Texas jail. Dude, you do not want to be a pthead and be in Texas jail. Okay, I'm tell you right now.
    55:48
    There's certain things you don't want to be locked up for in Texas. I'm going tell you right now. Do you ever see Thema and Louise? You remember that's why they went all that way around Texas because Thelma didn't want to get caught for the murder in Texas because they would remember what she said. You don't want to be caught in Texas being accused of murdering a man or what did she say? You don't want to be somebody who killed a man and be caught in Texas or whatever the [ __ ] Yeah, bro. They do things differently in Texas, bro. You don't want to be caught. And trust me, I got no problems with Texas, bro. I love Texas. I got no problems with Texas. I just don't understand why they ban me for life, bro. I'm not a bad guy, you know? And it's only it's only like you're hurting yourself because you're banning somebody who's like wellknown, you know? Trust me, I get blown up a lot for this pinball [ __ ] dude. I mean, I love it. I love people, man. You guys can hit me up anytime. I'll talk to you guys all day long. I love people. I love the people I've met doing this, dude. I I've I really feel like I've got a family around the world of pinball enthusiasts, man. I love you all. I love you all, [ __ ] I love you all, man. And someday we'll all meet and and and kick it together. Maybe I'll make it to this Norway tournament one of these days and we'll all have a jolly good time. a jolly good time.
    57:21
    But until that moment, you know, I wish you guys the best in Texas, man. Like I said, there's no hate from me. I don't hate anybody. There's no like I'm going to get you one day. Like, nah, bro. That's not the way I roll. That's not the way I roll, you know? I just think you guys were a little extreme, bro. And I think you should be a little easier on your boy. You know what I'm saying? That's it. That's all I'm saying. But it's all good. You know, it's all good. We're going we're going to make it through. You know, and you guys check out the Yukon Yeti because I get a cut if everyone sold.
    58:03
    Bro, if I was ever sponsored by anybody, you [ __ ] could tell right away. I'd be like, "Coming up next for uh Turner Pinball." Like let's say Turner Pinball sponsored me. You guys, you guys are going to love the Yukon Yeti game. Man, this looks really fun. You're going to love it. I can't even fake it. Like I can't even fake the enthusiasm, dude. I'm I'm trying to like fake it for the act of discussion. I can't even like [ __ ] fake it, dude. I can't even I can't even fake it, bro. You guys You tell right away. You be able to tell right away. Like, holy [ __ ] this guy is getting a kickback from some [ __ ] We don't know who. Tell us. My comments will just be like, "Who's paying you? Who's Show us the money, Labowski, where is the money?" I don't know. That's all I got. Much love, everybody. Get out there, play some pinball. Good luck if you guys are at the Texas Festival. If you're at the Texas Pinball Festival and you got one of my shirts, bro, you could do the the best thing in the world and wear a Waltwood Pinball shirt at the Texas Pinball Festival. You would be a legend, bro. You would be a legend. I Do you want to do some legendary [ __ ] Get the Walt Wood shirt and wear it at the Texas Pinball Festival. You will go down, bro. You will go down like Azie when he pissed at the Alamo. Bro, I'm telling you, it's legendary, dude. You will be a legend. They will write stories about you for the next 600 years. Do you understand what I'm saying? Hollywood will cast they will cast people for the next 300 years to pay play your part. And then you'll go to Hollywood and come back and be never the same. Don't go to Hollywood. That's my final piece of advice as we cross an hour. Don't go to Hollywood. People come back different.
    60:07
    That's a topic for another day. How much time you got? Peace everybody. Peace. We'll see you on the other side.