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Let's talk D&D and Kong Gameplay after 1bil+ on each. I also unveil my new D&D enemy to the world!!!

Walt Wood Pinball·video·51m 56s·analyzed·Aug 8, 2025
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Analysis

claude-haiku-4-5-20251001 · $0.030

TL;DR

Walt returns from burnout; praises Kong's design, critiques D&D as Rush .5 with boring modes and playfield issues.

Summary

Walt Wood discusses his recent tournament break, burnout from competitive pinball, and mental health awareness tied to Papa World Pinball Championships. He provides deep gameplay analysis of King Kong (which he loves for its design and flow) and Dungeons & Dragons (which he criticizes for boring modes, awkward playfield layout, and excessive borrowing of shots from other games). He jokingly creates a new D&D enemy—a piranha-lamb hybrid—using AI image generation.

Key Claims

  • Walt achieved over 1 billion points on both King Kong and Dungeons & Dragons at Papa Duke

    high confidence · Walt states he got 'a billion something' on Kong and played D&D for over an hour, getting over a billion points

  • Keith Elwin is an exceptionally talented designer because he actually plays and beats his own games

    high confidence · Walt contrasts Elwin's hands-on play with Brian Eddy's approach on D&D where Eddy didn't play the reveal demo himself

  • Dungeons & Dragons' playfield layout is incomplete or preliminary—like Rush .5—with crooked shots and placeholder gaps that future versions will refine

    medium confidence · Walt draws detailed comparisons between D&D's awkward center hole and crooked lanes to Rush's polished, straightened layout, suggesting D&D is an earlier iteration

  • D&D has insufficient playtesting; specific issues like the blue cube blocking ball visibility would have been caught and fixed with more testing

    high confidence · Walt directly states 'If they would have just playtested the game more, they would have seen, whoa, I can't see the ball coming down the lane. Whoa. Let's move the fucking blue cube.'

  • Walt took a break from tournaments after Star Fighters in February due to burnout from constant travel and public attention

    high confidence · Walt explains his last big tournament was 'Star Fighters in February' with final four, after which he stepped back to focus on music production

  • King Kong's left outlane is excessively brutal and punishing, the one flaw preventing it from being 'up there with Godzilla'

    high confidence · Walt describes the left outlane as causing random drain deaths despite perfect play: 'it's just a matter of time before it just bounces right in there, bro'

  • Most of D&D's shots are borrowed directly from other games without original design

    high confidence · Walt states 'literally every shot is from another game' and specifically calls out the James Bond vertical upkick mechanic as copied

Notable Quotes

  • “I was just starting to burn me out. Yeah. Like the ball doesn't bounce a certain way and you're just like, that's like the way I started to feel.”

    Walt Wood@ 1:39 — Reveals Walt's burnout from tournament play and his emotional/mental state struggles

  • “You're not alone, dude. Hit me up. There's people out there, you know, that care.”

    Walt Wood@ 7:03 — Walt extends mental health support to viewers, directly addressing suicide awareness tied to Papa event

  • “Keith is so fucking good, he is such a goddamn good designer... he knows how to beat the fucking doors off the game he just made”

    Walt Wood@ 10:58 — High praise for Keith Elwin's design philosophy of designers playing their own games

  • “Dungeons & Dragons is like Rush .5 like John Borg wasn't done with Rush... it's Rush, but John Borg didn't have the moment to straighten everything out and make it perfect yet.”

    Walt Wood@ 27:48 — Walt's theory that D&D is an incomplete design prototype, not a finished game

  • “If they would have just playtested the game more, they would have seen, whoa, I can't see the ball coming down the lane. Whoa. Let's move the fucking blue cube.”

    Walt Wood@ 26:08 — Concrete criticism of insufficient playtesting leading to specific mechanical problems

  • “I'm not a big fan. I'm just not a big fan of the theme... You're essentially, you have to make up your own game. You're asking me to make up your own game.”

    Walt Wood@ 22:30 — Walt's fundamental critique of D&D's theme design requiring player imagination

Entities

Walt WoodpersonKeith ElwinpersonKing KonggameDungeons & DragonsgameJohn BorgpersonBrian EddypersonDonovan Steppperson

Signals

  • ?

    community_signal: Papa World Pinball Championships (Chicago, 4th-7th) positioned as suicide awareness fundraiser honoring deceased community member Lyman; Walt publicly commits to supporting mental health outreach

    high · Walt promotes event and states: 'If any of you feel like you ever need to talk to somebody... please hit me up... You're not alone, dude'

  • ?

    product_concern: King Kong's left outlane is mechanically punishing and random, draining balls despite perfect play through unpredictable bounces—flaw preventing it from being top-tier

    high · Walt: 'the left out lane is just, it's fucking brutal, bro... it's just a matter of time before it just bounces right in there, bro, and you can do nothing about it'

  • ?

    design_philosophy: D&D shot design consists primarily of borrowed mechanics from other games (specifically James Bond vertical upkick) without original design, creating dated feel

    high · Walt: 'literally every shot is from another game... you shoot the James Bond vertical upkick, that kicks it over to the upper flipper' with excessive middleman mechanics

  • ?

    design_philosophy: Dungeons & Dragons has fundamental playfield design flaws: crooked lanes, awkward shot angles, and a blue cube blocking ball visibility that hampers shot execution from upper flipper. Walt argues these issues suggest insufficient playtesting.

    high · Walt explicitly criticizes playfield ergonomics: 'half the shots you can't get to from the bottom left, the bottom right flipper' and 'that fucking blue cube is blocking your line of sight so you don't know when to hit the button'

  • ?

Transcript

youtube_groq_whisper · $0.156

0:00
If you want to talk about pinball, baby, come on down to the Walt Wood Show. If you want to talk about pinball, baby, come on down and take my hand. You'll understand, you are a man, baby.
0:23
Yeah! How are you doing? I'm doing good. Walt Wood coming back at you, hello, how are you, how have you been, I've been good, myself, practicing, I'm getting back at it, getting back out there for the tournaments again, I just needed a little break, you know, whoo, traveling, man, doing the tournaments, it's fun, it's just sometimes it takes, it takes a lot out of you, man, it really does, like, you get there, the qualifying's long, the queues are long, there's people all around, dude, there's fucking, it's hard to get a fucking moment alone half the time, people all around, but, I don't know, I was just doing every single tournament for like years, every single one I possibly could that I sniffed out showing up every, every, every single tournament, every time, everywhere I possibly could, you know, I think it was just starting to burn me out. Yeah. Like the ball doesn't bounce a certain way and you're just like, that's like the way I started to feel. I was like, dude what is wrong with me dude i need a break god damn so i took a break from some tournaments and shit i think my last big one was star fighters in february where i did the final four with ray day and uh the couple other kids i can't remember really good fucking players and after that i was like all right dude i'm gonna take a break just focus on working on music which i have you know Every single day, dude, I'm writing shit.
2:23
And I'm like, all right, dude, let me get back at this. Okay. Let me get back at this. And here we are.

D&D's modes are boring and lack engaging gameplay despite thematic variety (travel to towns, dungeons, etc.)

high confidence · Walt repeatedly calls modes 'boring,' 'snoozer,' and questions why traveling to new cities and running dungeon modes doesn't feel fun

  • “I think that's why I'm calling it Rush .5... John Borg's not done with it yet he's going to tweak some and then you're going to get Rush.”

    Walt Wood@ 28:13 — Reiterates theory that D&D is an unfinished design that will evolve into Rush

  • “That's your new enemy. Piranha lamb. You're welcome. I just made a new Dungeons & Dragons enemy.”

    Walt Wood@ 35:50 — Walt jokingly creates and visualizes a new D&D creature mechanic as satire of the game's owlbear-style hybrid enemy design

    • Papa World Pinball Championships
    event
    Lymanperson
    Pennyperson
    Dwight Sullivanperson
    Papa Dukegame|organization
    Raydaypinballperson
    Rushgame
    Avengersgame
    Barrels of Funcompany
    Stern Pinballcompany

    design_philosophy: Keith Elwin exemplifies best design practice by actively playing and beating his own games during development, whereas Brian Eddy (D&D) did not play during reveal, raising confidence concerns

    high · Walt contrasts designers: 'I've seen Keith Elwin play Kong a bunch of times... I've seen him do shots on Kong' vs 'Brian Eddy didn't even play the game' at D&D reveal

  • ?

    community_signal: Walt Wood has stepped back from competitive tournament circuit after Star Fighters in February due to burnout from constant travel and public visibility, now focusing on music production

    high · Walt explains: 'I was just starting to burn me out... I took a break from some tournaments... My last big one was star fighters in February... now focusing on working on music'

  • ?

    product_strategy: King Kong praised for exceptional flow and shot design execution; standout feature is the center ramp-to-left-flipper-to-spinner routing that feels natural and intuitive

    high · Walt: 'it just flows, man, it really flows, dude... you can do like the center ramp to the... and then you get left... the ball will be on left flipper to the middle spinner'

  • ?

    product_concern: D&D modes are criticized as boring and repetitive, with insufficient variety and engagement despite thematic framework of traveling to towns and dungeons

    high · Walt states: 'the modes are boring, dude... why is it not fun... why is none of this fun... like on table all this should be fun why is this not fun'

  • ?

    product_concern: D&D criticized as incomplete design (Rush .5 theory) with crooked lanes, placeholder gaps (center hole), and unrefined shot routing that suggests John Borg ran out of time/resources to polish the game

    high · Walt repeatedly compares D&D's crooked feeding to Rush's straightened layout: 'Dungeons & Dragons will be Rush at some point... John Borg didn't have the moment to straighten everything out and make it perfect yet.'

  • ?

    technology_signal: Walt uses AI image generation (ChatGPT) live during stream to create hybrid enemy designs as novelty/satire of D&D's owlbear-style creature mechanic

    high · Walt generates piranha-lamb image and jokes: 'I just made a new Dungeons & Dragons enemy... you're welcome'

    • 2:33
    So there's the Papa World Pinball Championships out there in Chicago. The 4th to the 7th. And it's sponsored. They're giving a lot of... It's an event for Lyman. It's a fucking really good... It looks like a really good cause, man.
    2:58
    And... Papa World Pinball Championships. Here we go. Yeah. Here it is. LFS Memorial for Suicide Awareness.
    3:13
    Fuck. God damn it, there you got a picture of Ryman and Penny, dude. She is the shit. Penny is awesome, dude. Like, I don't even know her that well, but when I first met her, I was in Wisconsin, and she came out, and she was like, hey, Walt. Like, she came out to seek me out, dude. I was like, holy shit. I know you. Oh, my God, you're fucking Penny.
    3:42
    And then she got to play with my girlfriend. She was just as chill to her out there in Pittsburgh, Pinsburg.
    3:51
    I almost called the city Pinsburg. I'm a dumb fuck. But fuck, man, this dude, I never got to meet Lyman.
    4:00
    God damn it. I was a drug addict back then, man. I was a drunk, a drug addict. I was not in my right state of mind. I had to battle through a lot of shit, dude, to get to where the spot that I am now, and most people still think I'm fucked up, that's the funny part, most people still think because of the way that I am, like, oh, that guy's, he's on something, he's on the hairspray, I don't know, he's huffing hairspray, who the fuck knows, he's, he's smoking catnip, that fucking guy, we don't even know, we're gonna get the lab results back on what Walt's on, and we'll get back to you, you know what I'm saying, like, you just see, like, half a ton of people fucking, I mean I smoke weed bro I concentrate you wanna call this I don't know now I'm crazy I don't fucking know but it took me a while dude to get my faculties right to get my mind back to get my passion back my heart all that shit and this fucking guy I feel like we would've just clicked bro I don't know I've heard him talking before I've heard stories how he'd play all day Dude, that's where I'm at I mean, dude, I played for four hours yesterday Four fucking hours And you know what I start doing?
    5:17
    But this is a fucking good tournament This is gonna be a fun one, dude And it's for a good cause And I'm here to tell you, man Dude, I'm always here Okay, guys If any of you feel like you ever need to talk to somebody You can always reach out to me Please, leave me a comment I gotta get into my email again for this account I don't know how to get into there the what would email but I'm gonna try to get into that shoot me a message leave me a comment if you need anything please hit me up even if you wanna hit me just ask me a question anything I'm here for everybody dude I mean that you ever feel like you're in a dark spot and this goes out to anybody and everybody dude please hit me up you're not alone and trust me I battle with this shit too the depression with fucking feeling like yo how would the world be if I wasn't around you know and then you start thinking dude like this would affect a lot of people if you weren't around and the same goes for you motherfuckers you might be thinking yo what would happen if I wasn't around same goes to you you don't realize there's motherfuckers out there who love you and it's easy when you're blinded you're like, it's hard to see the smoke when you're in the forest, right? But when you're in the helicopter, it's hard to see the fire when you're in the forest. I heard this expression a long time ago. It's hard to see the fire when you're in the forest, but when you're in the helicopter above the fire, it's easy to survey the whole area. But when you're in a state of mental anguish, you're the one in the forest fire inside of it. So it's hard to see, you know, I hope that makes sense. But you're not alone. My point is you're not alone, dude. Hit me up.
    7:06
    There's people out there, you know, that care. You know. I love people, dude. I love everybody. I try to be cool with everybody. Everybody that I travel, that we go out, dude. People that come up to me that are fans, dude. I try and be chill with everybody. People that say, I saw your dumb video on YouTube. Oh, Bobadur. Well, here we are, dude. You know, and I'm, you know, I'm just saying, dude, I love everybody. Until you give me a reason not to. And then I can be a dick, dude. Trust me. I know.
    7:37
    But I'd say everybody starts off in net positive. Until you decide to take it another way. Then it's a separate discussion. Just ask that lady out in Texas.
    7:50
    So this is going to be a good cause, man. I'm practicing every day. I'm getting ready for this. I want to show up. I want to make a splash.
    7:59
    I want to play. I want to fucking show up, play good for Lyman. You know. So that's kind of where, that's where I'm at. That's where I'm at right now. I've just been practicing it pretty much every day. Yesterday I was saying four hours. I think I got a billion on like three different games. I got a billion on Kong.
    8:18
    I took Kong pretty far. I think I got like one point something on Kong. Which is, man, I'm starting to love Kong, dude. I guess we'll go through. I'll tell you the score and then we'll go through each little summary of what I played. Because, dude, we got no news. I got no pinball news. I got no fucking, there's no new games coming out. Unless I missed it. I don't know. I don't think I missed it. I got my finger to the pulse. Generally.
    8:42
    Bum, bum, bum, bum. Nothing. Bum, bum, bum, bum. Nothing. Bum, bum, bum, bum. Nothing.
    8:49
    I'm an idiot. But fucking yeah. Like, I have my, I think I'm pretty tapped in, dude. Like, I could fucking, I don't know. If you guys have heard something, I haven't heard anything. I mean, I heard Predators on the line, big fucking deal, game looks lame, I heard fucking, you know, a few other things, little things, but no new game reveals or anything, so I don't know, hit me up, I'd love to go over it, but yeah, so let's go through that, it was Kong, got like a billion something, I'm really starting to like Kong, dude, it just flows, man, it really flows, dude, you can do like the center ramp to the, and then you got left, and the ball will be on left flipper to the middle spinner, up to the log bridge, to your upper flipper, where the log bridge is, shoot the little ramp over to there, and then you can either shoot the side ramp to bring it back to the bottom right, or you could shoot the little shot that's, that brings it over, it's like a Trudeau shot, John Trudeau, man, there's like, uh, there's some games where he did shots like that, from like, like, uh, Hollywood Heat, I think has one like that, and, uh, a couple other games have these shots, so there's flippers here, and you can shoot, do it over there, and you can shoot back, that's what that reminds me of, dude, Keith is so fucking good, he is such a goddamn good designer, I swear to God, and I'm not trying to jump on an Elwin train and lick his balls, dude, trust me, I'm fucking, I know the dude, he's a nice fucking guy, man. He's humble. Very humble fucking dude.
    10:28
    And, you know, he gets his nuts licked left and right, dude. We don't need to do that here today. But the guy puts out some bangers. We got to call it what it is.
    10:43
    That's the thing. you need you need people making games who know how to play the fucking game like how to really beat the doors off the game that's where elwyn that's why elwyn is like one of the best because he knows how to beat the fucking doors off the game he just made like if you'll notice like some designers they won't even play the game that they just made like you remember the dnd reveal brian Eddie didn't even play the game, like, Brian and Dwight were literally, like, on, what was that dude, Nick, Wayna, like, Nick was playing the game, and Brian and Dwight were on his, either one of his shoulders, telling him what to do, I'm like, why don't you just start a three-player game, and you all play, like, bro, you just made this game, and you're not playing it, like, what confidence does that give me in your fucking game, my point, I think I mentioned that before, but fucking it's in my mind I can't help it I mean dude what confidence does that give me you're not even playing your own game you know I've seen Elwin play Kong a bunch of times I've seen him do shots on Kong I'm like yo I could maybe I could do that shot oh shit I'm not seeing any of that from there they're just telling him what to do and shit why don't you do it hey do i walk up to tony hawk hey do a kickflip mctwist do a 900 hey motherfucker why don't you get on a skateboard and do it you know that's a knee slapper right there
    12:26
    hmm i like kong so the muds like this is what i know of kong i'll teach i'll tell you what I know, and this is what, this is the first thing Donovan told me, Donovan Stepp, man, who, who's, like, he's the dude I've learned more from than anybody from pinball, just little nuggets, like, he doesn't, like, sat me down and explain the whole fucking game, but Donovan is good at dropping a little nugget in my brain and then I like oh like what he said like this is like the first time I ever played it He like you just go just climb Just go for the yellow climb arrows That what you just go just climb And I was like, okay. But I was doing other things.
    13:10
    But now, months later, or however long ago that was, I think that was only a few months ago. I find myself going for the climb first. because the climb once you shoot all the climb arrows that will light different things and i think once you get eight of them it lights the island lock at the right so two waves of them like you get the first wave done and then all the climb arrows will relight and then once you get the second wave done you'll get the island lock on the right where that slingshot shot is it kicks it back, but only this time when the island lock is lit, the slingshot won't sling it back. It'll go in there and just die, and this is by design because it's locking the ball for your next mode. What the island lock will do is add another ball to your next mode, kind of like you can think of it like Avengers when you get the portal lock. You get your portal lock, and now the next time you start your mode, there's, you know, two balls or three balls, um, I haven't figured out if you can add two island locks, I don't think you can, but I'm not gonna, don't quote me on that one, I don't know, I don't learn things from other people, except that little nugget I learned from Donovan, that was it, that's why I want to stress to you, he dropped that little nugget on me, that was it, that's all he said, go for the yellow climber, that's all he said, and I ran with that, he didn't sit me down with a fucking chalkboard and go step one yeah fuck no no it was drop the little nugget and then i was i ran with that you know that's what he's really good at is dropping that little nugget ah and then i get it um but yeah so i i don't think there's a second island lock but don't quote me on that i don't know for sure so you get your iron lock then the next time you start a mode, you'll get a multi-ball. You'll get a two-ball, multi-ball.
    15:10
    And I'm not sure if that increases the scoring or not, because I think in Avengers, it does bring it up to a 2X and a 3X respectively. But I haven't noticed in Kong if that's what it's doing, because the game doesn't mention it. I think Avengers mentions it.
    15:29
    Or maybe I've just played it enough that I know that. I'll have to get back to you on that one. climb the fucking building, it's very important, and so the more you climb, you'll get the NYC event lit also, which is the insert right above the island lock on the right, which is your slingshot shot, the shot on the right orbit that kicks it back, the slingshot thing,
    15:57
    the NYC event is, it's the same mode, it's called stage fright, and you can play it three variations. There's a single ball, which is 1x scoring, a single ball timed, which is 1x scoring, and then there's a counted flipper. There's a flipper count option, which is 2x scoring, and your flips are counted on each side.
    16:28
    Well, that's the cool thing, because if you notice, if you start that variation of the mode, you'll see on the LCD in the bottom corners on the I don't know if you're going to see this as left or right but on the left you'll see that flipper count and on the other side of the screen you'll see that flipper count so each flipper has their individual flipper counts and you can hit the gong during this mode to add flips it's very important you'll notice one extra purple arrow lit during this mode and that is on the gong and that's to add more flips to that mode.
    17:08
    And the mode in question that we're talking about is the 2x stage fright mode which is a counted flip mode.
    17:15
    The next one, which is my favorite. Oh wait, no. The first one I mentioned. Is the first one I mentioned a multi-ball? Or the first one I mentioned... No, a single ball.
    17:28
    I'm sorry. The first one I mentioned was the single ball. That's 3x scoring. Sorry, I think I fucked that up. The single ball one is 3x scoring. See, this is the thing when you're doing live. I can't go back and edit that. I go live. So if I made a mistake, I've got to go back and correct myself. Sorry. I might have said that, but I don't know. The single ball one is 3x scoring. Okay? The one that's a time mode. The one I just talked about with the counted flips is 2x scoring. And then there's a three ball multi-ball option that's 1x scoring. I hope I got that right I think I got that right I think I cleared that up but this is the thing when you're going live like I'm not going to stop and cut and go the single ball mode is 3x and what am I going to stitch that in later nah dude that's not the way I roll I go live we're going live that's the way we roll in the Walt Wood channel so what else is there there's that, I like the stage fright mode, they need to add another mode there though, because I just get bored of them, like, when you go to the NYC event four times, after the fourth time you're playing stage fright four times, it's like, all right, dude, can you guys add another mode here, I would suggest once you play all three variations of stage fright, add another mode after that, like, maybe like a timed multi-ball mode or something kind of like one little victory in rush that'd be cool maybe have like alternating multipliers in that mode or something to keep it interesting i don't know but all right moving on from there trying to think what else like i don't want to say basic shit like you drop the drops to like the lock i'm sure you guys know that kind of shit i'm trying to think of like other like things that are kind of deep in the game that you guys might not have got to, or maybe got to once or twice, but you're not sure what it is. Um, yeah. And then spell King Kong. You get to the T-Rex battle, which is, uh, you'll see three blue lights and then three cyan lights. Blue is a little darker than cyan. So, and once you clear each color, the spider will be lit. You hit the spider and then you could bash the fucking T-Rex and your dude is just punching. I love this mode. It took me a while to figure out what it was.
    20:02
    Your dude's just beating the shit out of the T-Rex. It's fucking glorious. And then what else? I climbed to the top of the building. I climbed all the way to the top.
    20:22
    Like, I took this game as far as the code could go. I'm telling you. I climbed all the way to the top of the building to where that red spike is. Like, if you notice, there's all these yellow windows.
    20:36
    And then all the way at the top, there's a red spike. Because I was like, dude, I just want to get to the top. I don't give a damn. I want to climb to the top. So I got to the red spike at the top. And I think that's where my game ended. I don't know if it did anything else. I don't think it did anything else. I think it just kept lighting NYC events. That's why I'm talking about going play in that mode so much. Because it just keeps lighting the NYC event. And you're just like, alright, there's one NYC event. But maybe they'll add more. I don't know.
    21:07
    I fucking... Dude, the game is dope. I love it. I fucking think it's great. It's really starting to grow on me. The only thing... Like... The only thing that's keeping it from me... me from being like an amazing game is that left out lane, the left out lane is just, it's fucking brutal, bro, it's so fucking brutal, and you're just cruising, you're doing great, like everything's fucking picture perfect, and then it's just bloop, right in that fucking left out lane, dude, like just, it's just a matter of time before it just bounces right in there, bro, and you can do nothing about it.
    21:44
    Like, it's just going. That's the one thing in that game that's keeping it, for me, keeping it from being, like,
    21:52
    up there with, like, Godzilla or something, dude. Like, the code is fun. That's the thing with L1 games. The code is fun.
    21:59
    It was a banger, dude. I had a great time playing it. So I think that's all I got to say about Kong.
    22:07
    But a billion something I ended up with. Fucking, uh... And then what else I play? Dungeons & Dragons.
    22:18
    Some of you guys know how I feel about Dungeons & Dragons. I'm not a big fan. I'm just not a big fan of the theme. I always thought Dungeons & Dragons was kind of boring.
    22:30
    Yeah, bro, you're essentially, you have to make up your own game. You're asking me to make up my own game.
    22:39
    That's what Dungeons & Dragons is. You're making up your own RPG. But theme aside, I put the theme aside. Let's talk about the pinball.
    22:57
    I just, I don't like the, I don't like the play field. I'm not even talking about the, like, there's gargoyles on there with their balls showing or something. I know, nothing like that. there's, it's just like some of the shots don't feel good, dude, you know, like, uh, let me think, uh, like, half the shots you can't get to from the bottom left, the bottom right flipper, right, you can't get to them, so if I have my arrows lit on the side ramp and the side loop, the labyrinth shots, fuckers, if I have my shots on the labyrinth shots, on the side loop, and the side ramp, I mean, dude, I can't get there from the bottom flipper,
    23:54
    you know, and then it's like, what, I gotta shoot it to the James Bond buck, I mean, bro, the guy took things, literally every shot is from another game, I'm sorry, dude, so I'm calling you out on this, you shoot the James Bond Vuck, that kicks it over to the rush upper flipper, but here's, but here's the thing, okay, the fucking, the Vuck kicks it up to the lane, fucking fine, but then the ball, like, there's a little post that holds it, so you, you, you shoot the thing, it kicks it up to there, and now it's holding it, and then it drops it, like, dude, just give me the ball, stop it, knock it the fuck off, because I'll tell you what, it's like having two middlemen, like, you throw the ball to the shortstop, and the shortstop throws the ball to the third baseman, and the third baseman throws the ball to the fucking umpire, and now the umpire throws the ball to the fucking hot dog guy, when does it end, because I'm shooting the ball here to the middleman, because my goal is to get the ball up here, I don't want to shoot this in the first place, but I have to, so I'm shooting the middle man to kick the ball up here, which is shooting it to another middle man to drop the ball down there, and it throws my timing off, because it's holding it, and then it kicks it up there, and now it's holding it, and then it drops it down, and now I'm like, I gotta fire, and usually I hit the target right in between both shots, because I don't know when I'm gonna get the ball, I can't seat under the shot because the stupid fucking blue cube that's there so every time you have a shot coming down the right orbit you can't see it so you don't know when to hit the button so it's really hard to hit a shot on the fly from the upper flipper because that fucking blue cube is blocking your line of sight if they would have play tested the game more they probably would seen that Hey let move the fucking blue cube It blocking my fucking lane I can see Rawr
    26:03
    That shit just bugs me, dude, because I know shit like that would have been fixed if they playtested more. If they would have just playtested the game more, they would have seen, whoa, I can't see the ball coming down the lane. Whoa. Let's move the fucking blue cube.
    26:19
    Done. That's it. all you could have addressed that just by playing a fucking game more oh that shit just bugs me so it's hard to see the shot so anyway i get the fucking ball up there because it uh great it's frustrating dude it's a frustrating game like the layout the shots of play field you know what it is to me it almost reminds me of rush but it's not it wasn't done yet like dungeon and dragons is like rush 0.5 like borg wasn't done with rush it's like borg asked you to come in the room he's like yo i'm working on a whitewood check this out and then you start flipping Dungeons and Dragons, which will become Rush at some point, because, oh, shoot the center, oh, there's a giant hole, but there will be a time machine there at some point, and look at Rush, there's a giant fucking time machine right where Dungeons and Dragons' hole is, oh, shoot this, shoot this lean, it'll give you the ball to an upper flipper, oh, it's pretty crooked right now, but I'm gonna straighten, and Borg goes, it's pretty crooked right now, but I'm gonna straighten it out, and then look at Rush, it's a nice straight lane that feeds to a nice flipper. Look at Dungeons and Dragons. It's all crooked and hard to hit. Huh. That's why I'm calling it Rush .5. It's like fucking, it's Rush, but Borg didn't have the moment to straighten everything out and make it perfect yet. He didn't have the time machine yet, so there's a giant hole in the middle of the fucking playfield like Dungeons and Dragons has. Oh, but at one point there will be something there, but not yet, because I'm still working on it. you see where I'm going with this it's like Dungeons and Dragons .5 or Rush .5 like Borg's not done with it yet he's going to tweak some and then you're going to get Rush Dungeons and Dragons will be Rush at some point that's what it seems like to me am I crazy yes but I think I'm on to something I mean dude that's the only vibe I get when I'm shooting that game like every shot is from something else everyone and the fucking dragon multiball is boring dude that's another thing and it's like it's a good segue to get into gameplay and fucking rules and all that shit boring bro snoozer bro what are you doing to me I thought this was a game not a book I'm reading a book, am I reading a book? I don't know, it feels like I'm reading a book, the game is boring, dude, I played it for over an hour yesterday, I got over a billion points, this is one of the games I got a billion on last night, bored, I'm fucking bored, where's the modes, like, the modes are boring, dude, the fucking, oh, I travel to a new city, oh god, there's a guy in the way, I shoot the arrows, now I'm at the new city, okay, great, now what do I do when I'm here do this mode okay I did it now go to the dungeon great why is it not fun why is none of this fun like on paper all this should be fun why is this not fun like none of this is not fun you like none of this is fun the dungeon crawl I'm in the dungeon call all my arrows lit I shoot them great I move forward I shoot an arrow I move forward, why am I bored already, I'm already bored, describing it to you, now I'm already fucking bored, why, why, is it me, am I just too old and cynical, I like to have fun, I like to joke around, I like to hobnob with the kids, hobnob, I love how I'm defending not being old, and I use words like hobnob, I'm not, definitely not an old fuck, I'm gonna hopscotch and hobnob down to the five and dime and get a fucking soda at the soda fountain. While bumping La Bamba. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, That's the most 50s thing I could, the 50s, it's the most 50s sentence I could put together on the top of my head, okay? Give me a break. it's not fun I'm sorry you're being attacked by an owl bear you're being attacked by a dolphin tuna it's a half dolphin half tuna is that in the game? Bro, if there's not a dolphin tuna in the game, you better put that in there. You can have it. You can have it for free. I don't even want any money. That's you. Dolphin tuna. There you go. That's your new enemy. You're being attacked by a fucking piranha lamb. Oh, my God. It's a half piranha, half lamb.
    31:35
    Dude, a piranha lamb would be good. That's a good one. Like, it's like a lamb body with a piranha head. yo we need to make that somebody please make that maybe i'll run it through ai should we run it through ai and see what comes up no make me an image of a half piranha half lamb yeah here we go let's i'm such an idiot i gotta know i gotta know okay hold on i gotta know ai images here we go
    32:11
    Wait, generator. Yeah, here we go. I want to make my own. Here we go. Okay. Is it just... Can you just do it and chat with GPT? Okay. Make me an image of half piranha.
    32:36
    Piranha. Half lamb. let's see what it comes up with, oh, I need to log in, you fuck, let's see if I'm in, I gotta log in, it's making me log in, here, Google, we're logging in, come on, let me in, I want to see what they come up with, dude, I'm such an idiot, I'll be thinking about it the whole day, I'm sorry, I will, I will, I will be thinking, Alright, shut up. Alright, here we go. Please generate me an image of a half piranha, half lamb.
    33:28
    Let's see what we get. Half piranha, half lamb. it doesn't even know what to do look it doesn't it doesn't do anything look it didn't do anything look it's like uh what i don't know how to do that at all oh it's doing it it's doing it oh look it's doing it i think it's doing it Man, I threw this motherfucker a curveball, dude It took me like a minute to figure out what I was Like, what the fuck are they Oh my god, look at this Look at this Dude, look at this That's better than I could have thought Look at that Look at this Look at that, dude There it is, right there There you go half piranha half lamb put that in dungeons and dragons there you go you're being attacked by a piranha lamb ah dude if i saw that in dungeon and dragons i'd shit my pants dude this didn't exist five seconds ago I love this picture can I just leave this picture up for the rest of the video oh man please put that in Dungeons and Dragons please if anybody knows how to get a hold of Stern put that in there bro if I was playing the game and this fucker popped out I would shit my pants you're being attacked by a piranha oh my god you guys can think I'm an idiot I don't care I think this is hilarious dude because that's the enemies in there it's like owlbear it's like they take two animals and just mash them together just like I just did there exactly like I just fucking did there you're welcome I just made a new D&D enemy there you go you're welcome but then I get to the town I'm going back to gameplay now yeah I'll just leave it there so then I get back to the town right I get to town and then I can do a mode, I can go to the dungeon, or I can travel to the next town.
    36:23
    Okay. Like, that's cool if I'm playing, like, fucking Chrono Trigger. If I'm playing fucking Final Fantasy. If I'm playing... For pinball, it doesn't really work.
    36:36
    It just kind of... Like, I guess on paper it might have worked. But, like, when you're into it, dude, when you're playing, it's just... Something about it, like, doesn't work.
    36:46
    For some reason, I just feel bored. And I swear to God, I'm putting the theme aside. I'm not even, like, the theme has nothing to do with it. I'm telling you right now.
    36:57
    I can be unbiased. I'm telling you. I can be honest. Dude, I try to, like, learn from anything and everything. Even if it's something I don't respect, something I don't enjoy, something, like, that might be annoying. I try and at least learn something out of it, man. I mean, that's life. That's what life's all about, dude. You grow. You become stronger every day, dude. You fucking... You pass on what you've learned.
    37:21
    I mean, look... The whole meaning of this video, really. Look what I learned how to make. I'm a genius. No one has ever put a fish on top of a fucking lamb before. Until I came along. I'm a goddamn modern day Einstein.
    37:45
    I can't look at this thing without laughing, dude. Every time I fucking look at it. I gotta stop looking at it.
    37:51
    But then I see it on this end, too, because I'm looking at the camera and I fucking said... God damn it. Whatever.
    37:59
    But I don't want to take it away, though. Okay, so where was I? Boring. Yeah, it just feels boring. I don't know what it is about it.
    38:10
    Something's not clicking here with this fucker. I don't know why. and it's like I said a lot of the shots man I'm telling you they've been done before I mean you go back and watch my Dungeons and Dragons video I went into it depth there I still feel the same nothing's changed bro nothing's fucking changed you know I mean there's a fuck load of people just mad at me now but that doesn't mean I feel differently I don't care yeah bro there's a bunch of stern fanboys who have a hard time with me now but I don't care I don't feel any different I still feel the same and that's the next thing I'm gonna get into after this well those are two games I really wanted to talk about Um I think so Yeah pretty much think so Because uh what else did I play John Wick.
    39:07
    And really nothing new there. I think I talked about that already. Now it's just kind of easier now.
    39:16
    It's whatever. Because people are bitching. people have been bitching to Stern because their games are too hard lately so people I don't know like how this works if they like are writing Stern or if they're just complaining enough where Stern takes notice or like I don't know where like who something's like they're changing shit based on fan feedback which is something you should never do i mean like what what good musician do you like what band are you into that made a good album after they listened to the crowd like nobody nobody's ever done that oh we should what should we do guys oh we should put more power chords in what should we do okay yeah i'll put that on the next album and then the next album's a banger no it doesn't happen like that you got to have as little fan input as possible dude there's only very few of us who know because we've been playing for so long we just know what we what we need what what we expect out of games you know and then some people come along they buy a game and they have it for a few months and it's like i still can't figure this out dear stern why does and why do you have to fuck everything up you sons of bitches or whatever they say i've been playing your game for three months and I can't get it. Make it easier. Why does that have to be so hard? Why does this have to be so hard? Or whatever they do.
    40:55
    Yeah, I think that's what it is because people buy these games and they can't figure it out in like six months a year which you're not going to figure it out in six months a year. Dude, I've been playing since I was four. I'm almost 39. That's 35 years. I've been playing for 35 years. 35 years of my life dude I've been playing pinball and do I think I have it figured out no that's the thing 35 years later and I still don't think I know it all I don't every day I'm learning shit you know that's why I like making these videos because it's like I remind myself where I'm at how far I've come what I need to work on and what direction I'm headed in or whatever. And I could share with you folks what I learned. Maybe it'll help somebody. Maybe you guys will find yourselves at a tournament one day and remember my dumb ass. Oh, I remember Walt fucking... Whatever the fuck. Who knows? You never know.
    42:01
    Like I said earlier in the video, Donovan telling me about those cliffs or the climb. It's in my head. Now every time I guarantee that tournament, I'm going out to the world championship and I'm going out to the Expo Chicago, but going back to Chicago in October for the Expo where they bust out the new sterns, I guarantee King Kong is going to be there and I'll be thinking about Donovan and he's like, shoot, just climb. He just happened to be the first one. Would I have figured that out on my own? Probably, but he's the first one to point me in the right direction.
    42:36
    So I'll never forget that. So if I could be that guy for someone, I'm honored. What else I got? Yeah, people are bitching and staring too much. So now lately they're making their games really easy.
    42:58
    I think we'll end on this. They're making their games really easy. They're going back. They're changing rules. John Wick, they've done it. X-Men, they did it. Making the games easier, more approachable for beginners.
    43:12
    I mean, no one did that to me. I grew up on Data East games. Those games kick your dick in, dude. Nobody did that for me. I didn't have a start. Please, Data East, please make your game easier. I couldn't fucking write, you know? I had like two bucks to my name as a kid. I had to make that last, bro. It's like I got 50 cents left now. Either I get a replay or that's it. I got to sit and stand in the arcade like an asshole because I got no money left. I had to adapt, get better, or get the fuck out. that's where I was at when I was a kid.
    43:49
    So they're changing all these games. They're going back, making the rules easier, making it more approachable.
    43:56
    And they took Jack danger off designing games. That's the thing I wanted to talk about here at the end. I think that sucks. I love Jack's designs. Are they hard? Yeah.
    44:07
    Is X-Men a dick kicker? Yeah. Does it go in the danger room and go down a lot? yeah, tough shit, that's the fucking pinball, dude, deal with it, but, like, what happened, did too many people bitch, and they just decided to, because they, they, they afford, effectively, they demoted him, I mean, Stern is calling it, like, oh, we're going to make him, like, you know, the head of social media, and whatever the fuck they said, I don't remember, it was a couple weeks ago and I'm not going to take down my lovely lamb pet, my piranha lamb, to look up that information because I created this abomination and I'm going to stare at it until the end of time.
    44:56
    I created you. You will not, I, you will do my bidding. I made you. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Jack makes good games, we need more designers like Jack Danger, okay, if you take nothing else from this video, put Jack back, bring him back in, bro, we need more designers like Jack, we need more designers, bro, I mean, Jack Danger and Keith Elwin are like the two designers doing different shit right now, I mean, I haven't seen anything new from Borg since Rush, they've been doing Borg dirty, because they, they fucking, I knew that Stern was going to do this, and I asked a bunch of people at Stern, and everybody convinced me that, no, he's going to have another game, yada, yada, yada, fuck you, everybody lied to me, so when they made the new Metallica, that was supposed to be Borg's next game, instead, they just remastered one of his old games, so he didn't have a chance to give us something new, his last new design was Rush, dude, that was fucking, what, three, four years ago now, so he got fucking, he got the shaft, Stern shafted him, dude, they fucked him, they did him dirty, and I was running around screaming it, and everybody was telling me, no, no, he's gonna get another game, fuck you, they did do them dirty, and I was right the whole time, I was right the whole fucking time, who was right, this guy, they did do them dirty, is the new Metallica fun, yeah, the old one's better though, the old one shoots better, the new one's cool with the animations, I'd take the new animations and put them on the old Metallica, yeah, that's what I'd do, I mean, Ray Day brought it up with the code, some of the code is great, Ray Day fucking, Ray Day's great with code, man the funniest thing playing Ray Day in Arizona was him yelling at me, at Foo Fighters why aren't you hitting the button? I'm like, dude, you put it in the game I don't know, you coded that in, I'm supposed to be in your head? I just thought that was hilarious why aren't you hitting the button? I just thought that was so funny apparently you're supposed to hit the button when you have the combos going in Foo Fighters. I tried it last night, or the day before or something. It actually did something, but the button's not lit. So you wouldn't know to hit it. So Ray Day, can you go ahead and light the button please, so we know to flash it or something. Dude, give me a sign. Tell me to... Fuck. I'm supposed to randomly know to hit an unlit button? Come on, dude. Help me out here. Throw me a frickin' bone here.
    47:51
    But dude, You guys taking Jack Danger away from design, that sucks. Dude, that really sucks, bro. We need John Borg. Like, don't get me wrong. I'm putting a knot on Borg. Borg is fucking great, but we haven't seen anything from Borg in fucking three, four years. Rush is good. I like Rush, dude. Rush is really good. I mean, look, you wouldn't have D&D without Rush. Because that motherfucker Brian Eddy was totally inspired by D&D and Labyrinth. Or, I'm sorry, he was inspired by Labyrinth and Rush. To make D&D. Labyrinth is really obvious right out of the jump, but then the more I play D&D, the more I realize, whoa, I'm firing.
    48:29
    It looks like I'm playing a shittier rush. Holy shit. Like, I had that thought in my mind at least three different times when I was playing Dungeons & Dragons last night for over an hour.
    48:40
    Nobody else played it, by the way. I was the only one at the bar who played it. No one else played it. There wasn't a line. There wasn't weight. No one else played it. It's a new game. Everybody is already done with it. What does that tell you? what does that tell you, bring Jack back, do me a favor, bring him back,
    48:57
    okay, bring him back, please, bring Jack back, don't give me this bullshit about he's fucking the head of social media and yada yada, fuck you, we already know Jack's the head of socials over there, dude, he's the guy, he's the streamer, he's the stern, he's the, he's the stern dude, why are you putting him in a position that we already know that he does you know what i'm saying like what are you doing bring him back so what now i'm gonna get one more brian eddie game and one less jack danger game that makes me sad that makes me sad in my life that does because brian eddie dude like i'm not trying to hate on the guy but he's going downhill bro the guy's going downhill i mean the last good design was stranger things stranger things was good but it's pretty much attack from mars it's a it's attack from mars 2.0 or medieval madness 2.0 if you will so it's a good design and then what do we have after that we had venom which isn't bad i like it because i like hard games most people don't like it okay i like it because i like hard games we had venom and then what do we have after that we had fucking dnd right unless i'm missing something am i missing something i might be i'm not trying to be a smart ass here i might be misses them. I think that was it, right? It was Stranger Things, and we had Venom, then we had D&D. Right?
    50:18
    And then I... It's just going downhill, because it's been Stranger Things, Venom, Dungeons & Dragons is the worst of the three. This dude's going down. You know?
    50:29
    So it just... It depresses me that the future is looking less bright without Jack Danger as a designer. And I guess that's all I gotta say. I really don't have anything else to say. Where are we at? Oh, we're at 50 minutes. Yeah, I don't want to keep you guys too long.
    50:46
    God bless. Get out there, play some pin. And, yeah, man. I'll just be practicing. Like, every fucking day, man. I'm going to try to be getting out there practicing. Try and get ready for this tournament. Try and get ready for the world's first annual Piranha Lamb tournament.
    51:05
    If you lose, you have to stick your cock in his mouth. So get ready. I bid you adieu. Farewell. Thank you for checking me out. God bless you all.
    51:21
    And shoot me some stuff, man. I'm going to try to crack into that email, man. So if you guys are sending me messages through my email, I haven't been getting them. It's not like I'm ignoring you guys. I haven't been getting them. I just haven't been able to get into my email account. So I'm going to try to get in and answer any questions if you guys have them. fire anything my way, I'm here, I'm always here to talk to you, and I love you all, I mean that, from the bottom of my heart, I mean that, I love you all, guys, thank you for checking me out, God bless, and I'll see you guys soon, okay, I will, all right, peace.